Logs of the life as a PrⓍxy

I use this tumblr account for my updates to tell you my story through logging. Feel free to ask me anything or comment my logs. I'll reply anyone as good as I can. I don't judge anyone for their story, comments or whatnot. If you wish to make further contact with me, if you need to talk to someone or if you're just bored, feel free to add me at Skype: thetallmansproxy I'm always happy to have someone to talk to!

[thetallmansproxy]

Hitatus

I'm ill. I can't manage to be online anymore. Haven't decided anything yet, but I'm taking some time off. Might be popping by from time to time, but don't expect anything. 

Thanks

E.

[thetallmansproxy]

07.04.2014

I'm considering moving over to another blog where I can keep up my "logging" more sorted out. I've let my heh.. emotional roller coaster take over this one. Made it all messy and shitty. Also I hate the name.  

[thetallmansproxy]

Log 23.03.2014

Shitts gotten worse. Started on Anti-Depressive meds few days ago. It's Hell.

[orientaltiger]

[thetallmansproxy]

I want this. Bad.

[serenity2589]

so i have a dilemma. i can stay where i am, working a job i enjoy (but the hours are always up in the air)

or i could file paperwork, move south and work at a job iv dreamed of my whole life. (down side is 6 month wait to see if the paperwork…well, works.)

pro’s

i waork at a job iv dreamed of doing for so long.

i can be around the hobby i love most

id be around the animals i love most

con’s

id be a u.s citezen and seeing my family would be uber hard.

6 months before i could GET the job.

and of course: governmental red tape.

i honestly want this chance, but im still hesitant simply because i wouldnt get to see my family as often if at all.

[thetallmansproxy]

If you have the chance in life to do something you love, you should absolutely take it. I think.

[thetallmansproxy]

I AM SO FUCKING BORED I CAN'T SLEEP EAT THIS

[serenity2589]

talk to me. whats wrong?

[thetallmansproxy]

I DON’T KNOOOOW

JUST

FEEL LIKE SOMETHING’S MISSING

THE ALCOHOL IS MISSING

IT’S MISSED

A LOT

S O I GO ON DO STUPID STUFF EVEN WITHOUT ALCOHOL

AND IS ANGRY

VERY ANGRY

BUT NOT

NOW I DON’T KNOW ANYMOOOREEE

'S FUCKING “WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS” OR WHAT'S IT CALLED

I THINK

[serenity2589]

breath, just breath tallmansproxy please. it very well could be withdrawl from alchohol. the symptoms will go away i swear, you just need to endure. and remember. anything happenes, im right here.

as always, stay safe friend.

[thetallmansproxy]

I know yours, you should know mine. Name's Erik A. and I breath. I'm alive. I'm bored and I've been watching the crap outta Netflix. Love that thing. Storm outside. Lucky it I'm too damned tired to go outside. Staid up all last night.

Thank you, friend. Stay safe.

[thetallmansproxy]

I AM SO FUCKING BORED I CAN'T SLEEP EAT THIS

[serenity2589]

talk to me. whats wrong?

[thetallmansproxy]

I DON'T KNOOOOW

JUST

FEEL LIKE SOMETHING'S MISSING

THE ALCOHOL IS MISSING

IT'S MISSED

A LOT

S O I GO ON DO STUPID STUFF EVEN WITHOUT ALCOHOL

AND IS ANGRY

VERY ANGRY

BUT NOT

NOW I DON'T KNOW ANYMOOOREEE

'S FUCKING "WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS" OR WHAT'S IT CALLED

I THINK

[thetallmansproxy]

NOPE STILL AWAKE

[sixpenceee]

Visit Original Link

The following is what auditory hallucinations sound like. This was created based on what mental patients (schizophrenic) said they hear.

[thetallmansproxy]

...

joa

[thetallmansproxy]

I AM SO FUCKING BORED I CAN'T SLEEP EAT THIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f488uJAQgmw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8E07NEZMAs

also I don't fucking know how to post a youtube-vid, and I have no more care to give, so go eat the links!

[thetallmansproxy]

Not mine:

Well, I looked my demons in the eyes, laid bare my chest, said

"Do your best, destroy me, you see I've been to hell and back so many times i must admit you kind of bore me"

---

I need something to happen soon or I'm gonna run up the walls. 

[thetallmansproxy]

out

[thetallmansproxy]

IT'S A SNOWSTORM OUTSIDE!!! COOOL!!!

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

Yo, Neph! How's it going?

It’s alright, my face is healing from my alter’s temper tantrum yesterday. haha How are you doing?

[thetallmansproxy]

I’m Nephilem, I will tell you explicitly if it were Meg on :) Quiets good though.

Quiet is fantastisk!!! Though, someone here has started to take me for a Runner… Please don’t. We can talk about this, but it’s not gonna lead any way, so I’m just gonna change the topic real quick: what’s a “alter’s temper tantrum”??

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

She tore out the third eye to try and kill the body. (And she broke my mask) she’s the peaceful personality so it took me by surprise. 

[thetallmansproxy]

…. wow. She want’s to die…?

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

Eh, its difficult to explain, she may have thought the eye was a link between me and the master and tried to severe it… 

[thetallmansproxy]

Do me a favor and figure that out. 

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

Will do, in the meantime I have a bed calling my name~

[thetallmansproxy]

That sound like a good idea! Me too!

[thetallmansproxy]

Defeated by the night!  

[kuraioftheshadows]

HA! That was a short day, Indeed.

[thetallmansproxy]

It’s called time-zone, princess. Clock was pass midnight and I have work today. But don’t worry yourself! We got all weekend 24 hour ‘round! Lot’s of time for fun! : D <3<3<3

[kuraioftheshadows]

You really don’t mean to annoy me all weekend, do you?

[thetallmansproxy]

Maaaaybe? C:

[kuraioftheshadows]

You are lucky I have so much patience.

[thetallmansproxy]

That’s a challenge!

[kuraioftheshadows]

The next time you two get the Idea to record me swearing at you, make sure I can’t find the device. I deleted the data this time. Next time I will destroy the device used.

[thetallmansproxy]

Alright! We’ll remember that! 

[kuraioftheshadows]

Be sure you do.

[thetallmansproxy]

Too bad you don't want to share your fantastic vocabulary to the whole world! Would've been a huge hit!

[thetallmansproxy]

Defeated by the night!  

[kuraioftheshadows]

HA! That was a short day, Indeed.

[thetallmansproxy]

It’s called time-zone, princess. Clock was pass midnight and I have work today. But don’t worry yourself! We got all weekend 24 hour ‘round! Lot’s of time for fun! : D <3<3<3

[kuraioftheshadows]

You really don’t mean to annoy me all weekend, do you?

[thetallmansproxy]

Maaaaybe? C:

[kuraioftheshadows]

You are lucky I have so much patience.

[thetallmansproxy]

That’s a challenge!

[kuraioftheshadows]

The next time you two get the Idea to record me swearing at you, make sure I can’t find the device. I deleted the data this time. Next time I will destroy the device used.

[thetallmansproxy]

Alright! We'll remember that! 

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

Yo, Neph! How's it going?

It’s alright, my face is healing from my alter’s temper tantrum yesterday. haha How are you doing?

[thetallmansproxy]

I’m Nephilem, I will tell you explicitly if it were Meg on :) Quiets good though.

Quiet is fantastisk!!! Though, someone here has started to take me for a Runner… Please don’t. We can talk about this, but it’s not gonna lead any way, so I’m just gonna change the topic real quick: what’s a “alter’s temper tantrum”??

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

She tore out the third eye to try and kill the body. (And she broke my mask) she’s the peaceful personality so it took me by surprise. 

[thetallmansproxy]

…. wow. She want’s to die…?

[nephilem-of-the-woods]

Eh, its difficult to explain, she may have thought the eye was a link between me and the master and tried to severe it… 

[thetallmansproxy]

Do me a favor and figure that out.