I thought I forgot about you.
but clearly It was impossible.
see for the past two years ive been in love with someone else, trying to hide and mend all the pain that I still think about constantly.
remember my last post? the one I so happily wrote and was proud of?
the one about the man who helped me forget you?
well I loved him out of pain. I forced him to love me when he was in love with someone else. All the pain i felt with you x100.
we have a child now, and things are really different.
I thought he’d protect my heart and now we’re very distant.
he cheated, he lied he repeated, and I continued to stay.
I knew we had a kid on the way.
I tried my best, and im not perfect and hard to deal with
and he did in fact treat me well at times, but he did not respect me one bit and it drove me insane.
my best friend turned her back on me with him. they did things I could have never imagined. I was pregnant with his son. i dont know why he did that, i was always loyal
i missed you so much and thought of you often. I talked a lot in the last poem but It was all out of pain.
I did love you, I love you. I will always love you.
I also love him, we went through so much in 2 years. but the love story i begged for has now ended because I cant take it anymore.
Sleeping all day, not like you at all. not spontaneous like you, not nice or friendly. he made me deeper and darker than i already was. isolated me from friends and family and truly made me feel alone. He did work hard, and he isnt a horrible person
but he was never you. I miss you.
I saw you two days ago. and it was amazing, feeling your touch hearing your voice. we ate at a place we used to go together although i know you go there a lot. i only went there with you. you remembered my order and that was really sweet. you met my son and you were so nice. you told me you loved your ex, and it broke me to pieces. I wish me and chucky could have worked out so I was able to forget you. I love u and you know it. I also love chucky so much. im pregnant and you have no clue. i want to have babies, but with you. I want you to be who i always thought you would be. I want you to love me again. its impossible.
me and chucky ended so bad, and ofc i do miss him and so does jr. but jr is traumatized and my son comes first. and im done. i miss you nelson. I hope we can be friends, I truly deeply love you and that feeling will never ever go away.
