THIS IS GOSPEL;

✫ TOBY ROBERT ANDERSON ✫ 22 ✫ BIG APPLE RESIDENT ✫ PHOTOJOURNALIST ♕ ♔ ♕ 'Don’t try to sleep through the end of the world And bury me alive 'Cause I won’t give up without a fight'

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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marcothomas: Mhm. Barely made it back but here I am.

andertoby: I bet you'll be happy to be able to eat vegan again.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Damn, right. I'm having a moment.

Mark: You just gotta eat loads of those bars Cady gives Regina in Mean Girls to make her fat.

Toby: It's alright, they happen.

Toby: Something tells me that they're not real, but I could do with them right now.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Great. Me too.

Mark: In where?

Mark: You need protein, you know. A lack of it causes depression or something like that.

Toby: The psych ward.

Toby: I know and I eat plenty of it, but because of this damn illness malabsorption is hitting me hard.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Yeah, just... very bipolar. You know?

Mark: I feel that. Throwing up sucks enough without ruining shoes.

Mark: Mhm.

Toby: Well, yeah. I'm aware of that.

Toby: You're still taking your medication in there, right?

Toby: It does, I'm on this nutrient, protein, supplement shit too to help me put weight back on- which sucks just as much as the throwing up.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Right.

Mark: Did I? Damn.

Mark: You could throw up in your shoes and then you'd be screwed because you'd have to throw them out.

Mark: Not from what I remember.

Toby: Just a little- is everything alright?

Toby: I would and I kind of like my shoes- so I think I'll stick to throwing up in toilets, sinks and the occasional bin.

Toby: ... I see.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Right. Right, I guess you are right.

Mark: I said right too much then, didn't I? Fuck.

Mark: That's good! Going outside is good, you get fresh air and all that fun stuff. Not that New York is so fresh.

Mark: Uh, it's good? They are good. I think.

Toby: Maybe a few then what was needed, but eh, what're you going to do.

Toby: You said good a little too much there too.

Toby: But no, New York is not fresh- I want to go somewhere fresher but I can hardly put my shoes on without throwing up right now so I don't think it's a great idea to voyage too far.

Toby: So you don't mind it now?

[thetobyanderson-blog]

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Mark: Toby?

Mark: I completely forgot to check how you were doing.

Mark: Sorry.

Toby: Mark?

Toby: Hey- no need to check up on me, I mean you have your own things to worry about right now. No need to be sorry, alright.

Toby: But I'm doing okay, better then I have been and I've been going out for like half an hour every other day which is good.

Toby: How are you? How's group therapy going with Sandra and her husband?

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: I shall.

mark: That doesn't really matter when I haven't slept at all since I have been here. This really is a waste of money, I'm not doing anything. I don't need to be here. White people are the worst.

mark: People can't take a joke.

toby: Not once? And if your therapist suggested it and they thought it was a good idea to have you there, then it's probably a good thing Mark. Even if you don't see it. They are, Trump has taught us that.

toby: Well I can see how it can be a bit of a touchy subject in there.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: I think I might.

mark: I really don't think it will happen, Toby. If anything I feel worse because I have to be around all these white people and who goes to bed at 11 and gets up at 8? They are crazy.

mark: Sorry, we aren't meant to use that word I made someome upset.

toby: Let me know how that goes.

toby: A schedule is supposed to help, but I thought the same thing when in rehab, I thought it was all a waste of time and money and I should just leave. But I didn't. I stuck it out and you should stick this out. Even if the white people are being bastards.

toby: Probably best that you not use that word, yeah.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: I don't think her actual name is Sandra but it should be, it'd make her more likeable. I don't think it's doing much for me but I have to be here.

toby: Maybe you should just ask her to change it. Give it time, you never know- one day it might do something for you.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: But they are so annoying Toby, trying to get me to go to bed for 11 and all this group therapy rubbish. I don't want to listen to why Sandra's husband left her it's so boring.

toby: And here I would have thought you would have bonded with Sandra for having the same name as your dog. But I get it- the group therapy shit is annoying. You've just got to persevere through it.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: It's like a hotel, but I get to insult everyone else and the staff as much as I want and they still have to help me so really it's a great place to be. If I make them hate me then I won't have to come back.

toby: Wow. Alright then. I'm not sure that's how it works, and it's their job to look after you and other people Mark, maybe be like a tiny bit nice. Like even if it's just saying please once or something.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: Mhm.

mark: Oh, I know. He just did it so people would talk about us. You can imagaine the sort that are on a high end private ward.

toby: It's like a never ending episode of Gossip Girl with the two of you. I don't even need a Chuck Bass. But you make it sound like a hotel- though I imagine it's nothing like that at all.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: He has classes all day on Tuesdays. I got presents all through the day though.

toby: He's looking after you from afar then, that's good. I mean the day is just about money anyways, you should tell the person that you're with that you love them everyday- not just on the 14th of February.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: Hey, at least you got to see her.

toby: No visitors? Or was Sebastian too busy?

[thetobyanderson-blog]

Text: are you feeling any better at all?

[text] Some days are better than others, but rather than being hit by a truck. I feel like I’ve been hit by a car. I’m going for a check up next week, because I’ve lost quite a bit of weight too. Having a diseases is fun.

[thetobyanderson-blog]

text // mark&toby

mark: This is so gross.

toby: It's not gross, it's got to suck for her because I wasn't able to do any of the Valentine's Day things.