When things are changing in your life but not in an obvious way. You cannot explain it in precise words how and who and why is the change happening but it is there. You can see it and feel it and you know it_pretty well, in your mind and bones. You're leaving a life behind, or you're leaving a part of your life behind, and it feels good, sometimes? And it makes you wanna cry the other times. But then also, you're happy that there are precious and memorable things happening around you, but many a times you're not even sure about it, because social media or life experiences has changed you in such a way that you're unable to differentiate now, between people who have genuine feelings towards you or they're just passing by. I just wish we, atleast myself, would have been able to express our feelings in a better way and not be ashamed of it or being called out for it. Something's bothering you, or making you feel better and you can just say it out loud, to people who are making us feel in certain way. I sometimes even feel it that it's a curse to feel almost everything, so strongly. People make jokes around you and leave and they think it's done but it hurts you afterwards, even you didn't know that it would bother you but it does, and you can do nothing about it except regretting. But you're trying and you know you're being strong and putting all the efforts you possibly can, and you're still aware of the fact that everyone around you is fighting their own battles, so you just keep attempting on being kinder and nicer towards each one but they take you and your kindness for granted and it hurts you but you know you're doing the right thing, and somewhere in your mind, conciously or unconsciously wish that people would just value you, not to treat you like you're something of a diamond but to value your existing and appreciate your efforts but then again, while writing this, it's making me realise that why should my, of anyone's life depend on being validated by someone else? Probably because we exist around people, and they make a difference on us, and they_in a minor way, makes us what we are but it shouldn't be the primary thing existing in life. As now writing this has make me feel much much better and lighter and that would be all for today.
