'cause here i go again,

[theworsthabit]

tags coming soon.

[theworsthabit]

admittedly, i was hopeful before we left for the club that you’d tell me that it’s me you’re wanting to date. or to go on dates with. but then the night went on, and i could feel that you were serious. so i accepted it. to the best my abilities, anyway. and then the tables turned and suddenly you wanted to be with me. i waited for you to say you were just trying to make me jealous, but it never came. i didn’t know what to expect. honestly, i still don’t.

you’re looking to date… but not me. it isn’t me. when will i ever learn? when will i ever realize that you don’t want me like that? do i really mean nothing to you? do i really mean that little?

i guess the answer is in the pudding… or something. you want to start dating again, and i think that’s wonderful for you.

now i just have to decide: do i lay myself out on the table for you to fully reject me and move on, or do i stay silent and watch the man i love you be with other people without ever saying anything?

maybe i’ll find my answer in the bottle of jack. maybe i won’t.

[whirlwindofstuff]

[theworsthabit]

after seeing brad’s post from your bed and then realizing he was who you had in your bed the other night, i started thinking.

does it really matter and do you even care? ‘cause i’m sensing that it doesn’t. i’m sensing that you don’t care. you’d argue that you’re single—no, no. you’d argue that we’re just friends; and then that you’re single. and you’re right—we are just friends. and you are single. you’re allowed to sleep with whomever you choose to. just didn’t think it would be so quick after i left, but what can i do? what can i say? nothing. absolutely nothing.

it isn’t like i didn’t sleep with her that same night. no, it wasn’t my plan; it wasn’t the intention. she was there. i was angry. it was only out of spite, but i don’t have the heart to bring it to your attention. you wouldn’t care anyway, right? friends. we’re friends.

there’s a lot i’m trying to talk myself into on this flight. i’m trying to talk myself into not falling in your arms or falling for your smile. trying to talk myself into not melting at your touch or the sound of your voice. i’m telling myself that none of this matters.

you’re my best friend. at the end of the day, i think that’s all you’ll ever really see me as. and it’s… fine.

[theworsthabit]

oh. i—… cool.

[theworsthabit]

i’ll fall asleep tonight with her in my arms… w—

that’s it. that’s all there will be.

[theworsthabit]

so…

i’m trying to wrap my head around the point of that call. was it just so i could see that someone else was in your bed? i heard his laugh. his voice. i caught a glimpse of him. is this your way of reminding me that you aren’t mine and that you won’t ever be?

‘cause if that’s it — the message has been received. loud and clear.

can’t believe i actually allowed myself to think — to feel — that you were beginning to feel what i was feeling, what i was seeing. but i guess that’s where i go wrong: believing in the possibility of an us that will never exist. not in this lifetime anyway.

[weltenwellen]

Ada Limón, from “The Unspoken”, The Hurting Kind

[dark-academiaaas-posts]

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” ― Paulo Coelho

[wedarkacademia]

“𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡's 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛?”

~ Tyler Knott Gregson

[theworsthabit]

i'll hold you a little tighter each night until you're out of my grasp.

[theworsthabit]

realizing how long i was suppose to stay here with you again vs how long i've actually been here. at what point do i tell you that i should go home? at what point do i force myself to leave you? do i want to do any of that? no. not at all. i don't want to leave you. but realistically, at some point, i have to.

ask me to stay with you for the rest of your life and i'd do it in a heartbeat.

[theworsthabit]

cait wuz here

[juneacademia]

normalise being dumb and hot

[thoughtkick]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown