Disclaimer: My stories are the outcome of my wicked mind and are entirely fictional. I don't know the boys of Greta Van Fleet. They are simply my muses, and I take constant inspiration from them to write my stories.
Nobody is allowed to take my stories, translate them or use them in any other way that is not simply reading them.
Writing makes me feel good, and I hope my stories can make other people feel the same way.
Please, put your age in your bio. You must be over 18 to interact with this blog.
Join taglist here.
✶ indicates -> a series
✧ indicates -> SMUT - MINORS ABSOLUTELY DNI.
✧Golden hour.
✧Little Devil. (Part 2 of Golden Hour)
✧Souls on fire. (Part 3 of Golden Hour)
✧Urge.
✧Crave.
✧A flame for going home.
✧Love On My Fingers, Lust On My Tongue.
✧Solo.
✧Halloween Night 🎃 Campfire Ghost Stories
✧Object of Desire.
✧Like Lava.
~
✶BALLERINA - AU (Physiotherapist!Jake x OFC) - completed
In progress
✧Confession.
✧Confession. (Part 2)
✧Confession. (Part 3)
✧Black Velvet and White Roses.
In progress
✧Miracle Aligner.
In progress
✧Secretive.
✧Secretive. (Part 2)
✧Secretive. (Part 3)
In progress
✧What Happens In Florence...Stays In Florence. (Sequel to Confession.)
✧What Happens In Florence...Stays In Florence. (Part 2)
✧What Happens In Florence...Stays In Florence. (Part 3)
Artemis II 2026, NASA - Moon and crescent Earth. Being there faaar from the humans just for a very tiny, smally while and missing the spaceship back by one tiny, smally minute, oopsy.
Welcome to CHAPTER ONE of my new AU series. I hope you'll enjoy!
Story synopsis: Sarah is well-mannered and rather timid, but it's more a result of her upbringing that her real nature. While tirelessly working on getting her Master's degree in astrophysics at the University of Padova, she decides to stay in the city after the summer semester ends… to finally experience something "more." One evening, she meets a feisty stranger who grants her her wish. Josh is a freedom-loving expat who drives Ducati Diavel, works in a growshop and has a few secrets…
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): some fiery french kissing; dubious consent; Josh being a charming, insolent bastard; shameless flirting; allusions to some unheathly family dynamics; alcohol consumption; desire; questioning one's life choices
👉 Prologue
👉 SERIES MASTERPOST 👉 TAGLIST
A special thanks goes to my dear @thewritingbeforesunrise who agreed to be my beta reader, advisor and fact-checker, and who's been patiently brainstorming with me so far.
My story starts on one balmy summer evening in early July under the cloudless Italian sky, when I took one small and diffident step forward, and without any real plan in mind, I ended up running.
I ran away from the old and compliant me, and when my old world shattered right in front of my eyes, I kept racing onward.
The truth is, I couldn’t have done that all by myself, as I used to be a girl with huge dreams, but very little courage sometimes. I had spent my days looking up into the depths of the vast and stormy Universe, where I believed my soul belonged. I had kept searching for the meaning of life there, while my own body remained crouching in the corner like a mouse.
But the Universe works in mysterious ways, and I was kind of counting on it. I’m not really religious. I never prayed for anything, but the Butterfly Effect has always been one of my favorite theories. So maybe if I could find it in me to nudge the world a little, the world would push back… It was an utterly foolish notion.
Well, until it eventually happened.
This is in fact a love story, but not completely. Like a thunder out of the blue, he stormed into my life so boldly and unexpectedly that I’m convinced there was something truly fateful about it. All it took was for me to do just a few simple things differently that day. What followed, took my breath away. Sometimes quite literally. He snatched my hand, and made me run in his footsteps and into the ‘real’ world that was so vastly different from mine. That’s how it all happened. He was nudging me, daring me. Fucking me.
And loving me.
The love part actually almost destroyed me. The old me would have died from all the pleasure and pain, I’m sure. In fact, it did… and now I keep on living in this new post larval state of mind. So, I also keep convincing myself that’s why our paths crossed, as it quickly turned to something more than just romance. The road I took with him is still before me, long and winding and with many places to go. We just no longer share it, but I keep on moving.
At first I kept looking back, almost mourning the loss of that sweet girl whose life had been somewhat easier before. But then I eventually stopped.
Now hear me roar, bitches and assholes.
The streets of Padova buzz with life after sunset, but I wouldn’t really know until very recently. Even though I had chosen to finish my studies abroad in yet another attempt to spread my metaphorical wings, I once again ended up with them neatly folded while I buried myself in even more books.
I knew no other way. I always made some weak attempt to steer my life in a different direction, only to end up overwhelmed with the new situation I found myself in. One step forward, one step back. Well, at least I wasn’t completely retreating. Something, sometimes, actually happened.
Padova was no exception at first. And the greatest challenge in my life so far, too. I arrived in Italy full of expectations, new resolutions, and with my heart filled to the brim with excitement. But alas, I spent a whole year trying to figure out how to get out of my comfort zone, and crawling back in at the same time. That’s how it always ended, with me hiding within the four walls of a library or my room. It was a reality I used to be fairly comfortable with – or in – even though I didn’t necessarily love it.
I loved stars. Both the real ones in the sky and those on the silver screen. I chose to study the former, and I wanted to be like the latter.
All those beautiful ladies with their hair always perfect, their hearts always wild, and their fictional lives always so eventful. As a teenager, I had spent many evenings building fantasies in my head inspired by the old movies I’d always loved.
From Greta Garbo to Elizabeth Tailor; my heart always swelled at the notion that someone would love me the way they were loved. And I would love that perfect phantom of a man back passionately, as a true femme-fatale. My imaginary lover would kiss me under the moonlight and then we’d elope together and live our life to the fullest.
These kinds of fantasies were always frowned upon at home. My dad wanted his children to become rational and successful people. In other words, little copies of himself that he could be proud of.
My good grades always mattered more than my secret passions. He didn’t give a shit about my love for astrophysics, but studying it sounded respectable enough to him to graciously let me pursue it, even though he often used words such as “quirky” to describe my interests.
This was still a grand victory, though by sheer luck. Had I wanted to become a teacher, a cook, an accountant or a ballerina, my father would crush that notion in between his fingers like a flower bud. Law for my brother, medicine for me, that was his dream. The compromises he was willing to make had strict limits.
We had all the resources and opportunities right at hand, me and my bro… as long as we followed the rules.
If this already makes you raise your eyebrows, congratulations. You’re not wrong. I was indeed pretty stupid for a smart girl. It took me a little bit longer to realize that, and Josh played a huge role in it… but I digress.
At the end of the day, dad was always the one to decide what I was good at or capable of, and my inborn shyness prevented me from standing up to him completely, even though I often tried, albeit feebly. My own secret dreams of who I really wanted to become as a person always collided with my introverted nature, as well as my fear of becoming completely independent and self-reliant… with all its perks AND challenges.
So over the years, I just learned to keep to myself, rebelling mostly in my dreams.
Don’t get me wrong, I made some friends. I had my share of drinks on weekends and a few nice guys made it as far as my bedroom, but I just couldn’t shake off the label of a responsible good girl.
Maybe even a bit boring sometimes. Too boring to be loved, obviously. The latest rejection felt like a hornet’s sting. He told me I was cute, but still kinda a privileged girl.
Considering that this interaction happened in front of a computer that was helping us follow and monitor the trajectory of a new-found comet, it hurt really bad in a strange way. I realized what he meant. Dad would always take care of everything, never letting us burn our hands.
So, one early morning in early June I found myself standing by the window with a cup of coffee in my hands when I felt a sudden surge of anxiety. Something had to be changed. I didn't know what yet, but something had to be done. I couldn’t go on living like that. I also definitely didn’t want to go back to Boston for the rest of the summer.
Maybe a crazy trip. To go places. I had traveled half a world, but I hadn’t seen shit yet.
Or a summer job my dad would never approve of. And spending my own money.
I just needed more. I was a 23 year old wallflower with a mediocre knowledge about quasars, who couldn’t pay her own rent. What started as a vague idea at one moment, turned to determination a second later. I was going to stay, to do what I wanted. Later that day I bought a deep red lipstick on a whim. It might seem to you like yet another ridiculous semi-rebelious quasi-solution, and you’re not wrong. But the butterfly’s wings already fluttered that day, sending ripples into the void that would tear the fabric of my world and lead me out of Socrates’ cave.
I always wanted to wear one. The deep crimson lipstick, I mean. The one I bought was YSL Loveshine. ‘We spared no expense,’ one stupid fictional character once said. I came home and placed it on the table right next to my toiletry mirror like a memento. And it stayed there untouched for more than a month, until my roommate Amanda made me put it on at last.
Our five-bedroom student apartment had been a true melting pot during the year, and I absolutely loved that, but in mid July, there were only three of us left. Me and my two fellow Americans, Amanda and Em. We all agreed to stay in Padova even after the semester ended, but their motivation was different from mine. They had already found boyfriends here, and were now living their summer dream, while I still kept struggling with reaching out to other people.
And, while I was trying to figure out what to do with my free time, they wanted to get me involved in the vibrant city life. To help me.
“That color really suits you Rory!” Amanda finally exclaimed and, seeing myself in the mirror, I had to agree. I frowned anyway. She always used that nickname only when she was trying to tease me and hadn’t really minded before, but that guy’s remark made me realize what she’d always meant by that.
“Am I really like that? A privileged porcelain girl?”
“No, Sarah… I mean, you know I love you babe. You’re a sweetheart,” Amanda trilled while running her fingers absentmindedly through my slightly dishevelled bob. Being a sweetheart was exactly my point, though. “But, ya know, I wear Rimmel that I bought with my temp job money. You can’t have cake and eat it, too. If you know what I mean.”
Yeah, I did. I had never had any scruples when it came to enjoying dad’s money while I could. Brother used to do the same before he secured an easy job in dad’s law firm, and no one ever criticized him for it.
It was there for the taking, and it allowed me to fully focus on my schoolwork. That’s what dad himself kept saying, anyway... So yeah, I knew exactly what she meant. I met her eyes in the mirror and sighed. “I’m getting there.”
“You might have to start there, hun… but NOW, let’s have some fun.” She ruffled my hair even more, making my bangs stick up to the side.
Going out to have some fun proved to be harder than expected as soon as I realized I owned no fancy summer evening wear that would justify my glossy ‘Deep Ruby’ lips. At first I snatched my usual go-to pieces that consisted of my favorite navy blue linen dungarees and a striped t-shirt, only to be met with the girls’ disapproving faces as they ‘tsk’d’ my way back to my room.
“There’s nothing wrong with those pants in this awfully hot weather,” I protested. “They’re comfy… and me.”
“Maybe, but that tee has to go.” Amanda was already rummaging in her own wardrobe despite my protests that her tits were twice as big as mine, when Em joined us again with a minimalistic short-sleeved crepe blouse which she nonchalantly threw at me.
“Here, try this.”
I did, and the effect was immediate. The light cream colored flowy fabric made a nice contrast to the navy linen, making the combination look effortlessly chic. I buttoned the blouse higher than Em would have, because that was simply me. Neither of them objected. “See? Now you look like Audrey Hepburn as if she just got back from her pottery class,” Em beamed at me.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror again with my hands in my pockets, and took a deep grounding breath. “Is that a good thing?” I liked what I saw, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the likening.
“It’s a good start, for sure. Comfy and classy.”
Piazza Dei Signori was full of people during the golden hour despite it being Wednesday. Tables were set on both sides of western half of the square from the clock tower to the middle of the open space, and yet we barely managed to secure one for us.
The air smelled like ice cream and perfume and my own laughter sounded pleasant in my ears. Despite my initial worries, I really enjoyed the buzz around. Maybe it was the lukewarm breeze after a hot day that kept washing over me, or the buzz inside my own head caused my third Aperol, but I was really enjoying myself. Amanda and Em could keep me company only for a couple more hours max before going on their separate dates, but that was the deal and I was already looking forward to mint tea and the book I had been reading.
After we already exhausted the topic of school and summer plans, their mutual conversation shifted towards love and sexual innuendos, to which I had nothing to add. I didn’t mind… or at least I pretended not to. Listening to their bickering was still fun. I just closed my eyes momentarily and tilted my head slightly back to focus on all the sensory impressions that made me feel good.
I was still unsure about what the future might bring and what direction I should take, but my growing determination to do something about it already felt like a new beginning…
… when I suddenly heard the empty chair right next to me grate against the paving as both my friends squealed in surprise. I snapped my eyes open just in time to see a guy collapse into the said chair with a puff.
“Mi scusi bellezza, questa sedia è libera?” he blurted out breathlessly and absentmindedly grabbed my shoulder as if I was his close friend or something. As I had already implied, interacting with strangers had never been my forte, so his insolence left me completely stunned and frozen.
“Hey! What the fuck you think you’re doing!?!” Em blurted out as soon as she recovered herself while I just continued staring.
“Oh! My fellow ‘muricans! Even better.” He finally let go of my shoulder and placed his elbows familiarly on the table, while still trying to catch his breath as though he had been running. “I need a favor, ladies. Please, help a lad in distress.” Grinning charmingly but otherwise clearly agitated, he looked over his shoulder before he turned back towards us with an almost inaudible repeated ‘please.’
“Hell no!” I finally recovered. “She’s right. And who the hell are you? Why should we be helping you?” I protested, albeit feebly in comparison to Em’s thunderous voice.
“Oh, uh, glad you’re asking, stunner,” he winked at me and quickly offered to shake my hand in order to rectify that tiny unpleasantness of him being a complete stranger. Our eyes truly met for the very first time and I’m pretty sure mine widened, because all his previous impudence was suddenly gone and he looked almost gracious. Not to mention really pretty. That impression, however, lasted only until he opened his mouth again. “Josh! And to answer the second question… I’m…uh… afraid someone’s jealous boyfriend mistook me for the source of his jealousy. See… so, I need him to believe my heart lies elsewhere. I feel like maybe it already does!” He grinned at me again.
“Mistook?!” Amanda grunted and sat back in her chair with her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised so high it looked almost cartoonish. I couldn’t help but giggle, which earned me yet another toothy smile before he turned back to her.
“Indeed. Completely innocent, ah swear! Do I look like a reckless flirt to you?”
“Yeah…” I mumbled despite myself, only to be rewarded with yet another familiar feathery touch. His long fingers slid down my shoulder again with such tenderness it was borderline intimate, yet Josh acted as if that was the most natural thing to do.
He fascinated me. Despite our initial outrage and raised eyebrows, he effortlessly joined the conversation as if it was the most natural thing to do. Or, to be more precise, he started a new one, making indecent jokes about green-eyed monsters and his alleged and very hardly believable innocence. While being outwardly rather brash and obtrusive, there were moments when I could both see and feel something else – tiny glimpses of genuine warmth. No wonder he clearly excelled at winning people over. Impudence won’t get you there. Josh was… sweet.
Talking about sweetness, I kept on wondering why the air around us suddenly smelled like almond meringue, and while Josh kept playing an improvised verbal tennis with the other two, I frantically looked around other tables near us, trying to find the source.
“What’s the matter darling?” He leaned closer to me and I realized that strong sweet powdery scent was wafting off his own skin. Up close, it was slightly soapy and almost animalistic. A very unusual fragrance for a man.
But nothing about him seemed ordinary, to be fair. He looked like curly-haired James Dean in his plain skinny jeans and white t-shirt with rolled-up sleeves, and my old movie-loving heart secretly purred in appreciation. He wore a lip hoop, too… and had a rather cute habit of playing with it with his tongue in between sentences. I kept watching it with fascination. He must have noticed how I had stared at him before, because all my subsequent sideways glances were met with his radiant, bold grin.
Bold, but kind. I swear I wasn’t just making that impression up in my head.
At the same time, Josh’s presence at our table and the alleged reasons why he joined us made me feel strangely on edge.
Just when I raised my nearly empty glass to take one last sip, I noticed a strange looking swarthy guy standing next to one of the arcade pillars. He had his hair slicked back, dressed in a leather jacket despite the warm weather. There was something about him that made the hair at the back of my neck stand. Even though he had sunglasses on, I had a strange and unpleasant feeling that he was looking directly at us. And strangely enough, Josh glanced briefly in the same direction. Although he seemed outwardly unfazed and continued with the small talk, I noticed how his Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed harshly.
I looked back again with growing apprehension, only to see the guy still staring at us. I didn’t even realize Josh moved closer to me until I heard his soft voice right next to my ear: “I need you to help me now.”
“Help with what?” I snapped my head back. I barely finished the sentence when I felt his hand was already on my cheek. He didn’t even let me take another breath before he pressed his lips on mine. They parted almost involuntarily and before I could fully comprehend what was going on, he deepened the kiss and I felt his tongue swirl against mine. It all happened in just a split of a second, but I swear it felt like minutes.
He tasted like weed and herbal pastilles. What a contrast to that almost overwhelming perfume!
Deep down, I wanted him to continue even though my hands grabbed his shoulders reflexively, ready to push him away. I didn’t though. It was Amanda, who leaned over the table and shoved him backwards. “Cut it out, asshole!” she raised her voice menacingly and a few heads turned towards us. I was too stunned to speak, but my hand suddenly moved almost on its own and I slapped him with force fuelled by new-found courage.
“Hey, what was that for?” While he completely ignored both Amanda and Em who suddenly stood up, his eyes widened at me. I could just stare back, painfully aware of the tingling in my right palm. It must have hurt. “I…”
“You definitely kissed me back!”
“That’s enough!” Amanda grabbed my arm and the tone of her voice immediately softened when she noticed my no doubt alarmed face. “We’re leaving, Rory.” It was an order. Kindly uttered, but an order nonetheless. And I obeyed, letting them drag me away while Josh sank back into his chair with a sigh and arms raised in defeat. I glanced around to see the weird guy was already gone and when I looked behind me one more time, I could see Josh still looking back with a concerned frown etched on his face.
We passed through Piazza della Frutta in complete silence and were already heading towards the Bo when I finally dared to speak. “You didn’t have to do that, Amanda.”
“No Sarah, I disagree.” For a split second, she looked a bit like my mother, her eyes kind but authoritative. Em remained silent and kept looking at her feet, but otherwise clearly sided with her, making me chew the inside of my mouth in annoyance and embarrassment. It was pretty obvious they both thought I was naively stupid. “That was one hell of a slap, though,” she chuckled and then sighed before continuing: “Listen, it’s getting late and I’m meeting Mateo in a minute anyway. Let’s just call it a night.”
I closed my eyes to keep the sudden tears that threatened to spill at bay. The evening had truly taken an unexpected turn, and definitely for the worse.
I bid them both goodnight and quickly excused myself. I think I heard Em calling something after me, but I already put my earbuds on to drown my thoughts in the sound of Estas Tonne’s guitar.
I didn’t want to go home just yet, though. The idea of having to spend the rest of the evening alone within the confines of my room made me suddenly nauseous. Still blissfully tipsy, I decided to soak my nerves in the balmy air instead.
Wandering around the city after dark alone and without a destination had never really been my style, but I desperately needed not to feel like myself, now more than ever. I was aiming to become a scientist, yet I still made people treat me like a child. What a fucking joke my life had turned into.
But they were right. Or were they? Was it really that bad that I enjoyed the kiss? It was just like in my secret fantasies…
I should have kissed him back in earnest. I should have grabbed him by those messy curls and run my tongue over that hoop playfully. That’s what I really wanted to do. To fight back with the same vigor and wit. My friends knew I couldn’t. He was clearly one to enjoy playing with fire, and there was something about him that made me want to burn, making my inner shadow rattle the cage deep within me. I know it now. I was not yet consciously aware back then.
It was already getting dark when I reached Prato della Valle and the afterglow painted the whole square in a pinkish blue tint. Very romantic. A lot of couples and small groups of friends obviously thought so as well, making me suddenly feel slightly miserable.
I reached the fountain in the middle just when some busker started singing Con te partirò and I put the earbuds back in the case to listen to him instead. It was truly the perfect soundtrack for my current mood.
“He’s really good!”
The familiar voice on my right almost made my heart skip a beat. I reacted quite automatically in a way I thought I should. “What the fuck?! Are you stalking me?”
Without really waiting for the answer, I started towards the nearest bridge and Josh naturally followed. “Hey, wait! Uuum… Rory?”
I quickened my pace, torn between wanting him to stop me and being scared of what would happen if he really did. “That’s NOT my name. And stop chasing me!”
“So stop running away like a madwoman. I really thought you wanted me to…”
He reached for my forearm to make me halt, but I yanked it out from his grasp so abruptly that I would have stumbled backwards and fell if he didn’t catch me in time, grabbing both my wrists to keep me from falling. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to thank him for it, though. “Get your hands away from me or I swear I’ll scream!” I hissed and he quickly obeyed. “Wanted you to do what? Kiss me? How the hell could you tell? A madwoman huh? You’re just like the other guys. I guess now you’re gonna tell me that I’m overreacting, right?”
He sighed and put his hands back in his pockets, looking defeated. “No… I won’t. Jesus! I just wanted to apologize, for fuck’s sake!”
I stared at him, my fight or flight mode still fully activated, but something about the way he kept shuffling his right foot against the cobblestones made me weak again. “Apologize…”
“Yeah,” he looked up with a hopeful twinkle in his eyes. “And I wasn’t stalking you. I just… just like walking around town during sunset and then I, uh, saw you there… But hey! You just can’t parade your heart-shaped lips like that and not expect to get kissed. Not that it gave me the permission to… but…”
“Bullshit. Do you think I’m stupid? That’s not why you did that.” I secretly wished it would, but then I remembered what preceded it. “I saw you looking over your shoulder. And the guy… I know you noticed him too.”
Josh’s jaw tightened for a split second. “Oh well, I suppose I should thank that asshole for giving me a reason to do that.”
I didn’t really understand and Josh didn’t look like he cared to elaborate, but it didn’t really matter because now that I could fully see his face, I couldn’t help but smile, even though I immediately curled my lips in between my teeth to suppress that involuntary reaction. “You still have a smudge of my lipstick on your lower lip and chin, by the way.”
“Oh… really?” He chuckled. “That’s why all the ladies kept staring. You marked me as a rascal!”
Smiling, I pulled a napkin out of my tote bag to wipe it off, but he dodged my attempt to do that. “Oh no, leave it. It’s my red badge of bad manners. Lemme wear it proudly. But while we’re at it…” He stepped a little bit closer and gently ran the tip of his thumb along the outer rim of my own lip. “Here…,” he whispered. “Now it’s perfect again.”
The silence that suddenly fell between us felt thick.
I really liked him. He wasn’t the world’s most physical guy and his features – with his long eyelashes and full lips – were a tad effeminate, but that made him perhaps even more pretty. And despite what Amanda and Em had obviously thought, he didn’t scare me. “It’s Sarah,” I finally spoke when I couldn’t stand that tension any longer.
His lips stretched into yet another radiant smile. “Lovely. Well… Sarah… Let me apologize properly. What ice cream flavor do you like?”
“I… don’t really eat ice-cream,” I admitted and Josh looked at me as if I just sprouted antlers.
“Bullshit!”
I tried to explain how my parents were health freaks and I never really liked it anyway and Josh stopped listening after I said ‘rainbow sprinkles.’ He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the green island and towards one of the adjacent streets. I was long past being mad at him, and his new-found eagerness with which he was determined to change my mind actually made me laugh as I kept stumbling after him.
“Voilà!” he exclaimed dramatically when we reached the destination just two minutes later. The best ice cream in Padova! MAYBEEE in the whole world. Now come, bellezza, let’s choose your new favorite flavor.”
He was absolutely right. It was delicious. We were back on the square, sitting on the edge of the canal, eating ice cream and talking about stars that just appeared in the darkened sky.
“I would have never guessed astrophysics,” he admitted with a smile.
“Why?”
“I dunno. I thought you looked more like an art student, maybe…? Or history. Something like that.”
“You think girls can’t do math?” I frowned.
“Oh no! I totally do! Totally. I just… you just look so… gentle.”
I mustered all my willpower not to get offended by that. I was sure he meant it as a compliment, because he didn’t know me yet. However, I couldn’t suppress my defiant little bitch completely. “What about you? Why are you here? You look a bit too old to be a student.”
Josh’s eyes widened at the remark and he pressed his hand to his chest while sighing theatrically in mock offense. “Ouch! Like an arrow straight to the heart, my lady. Is it really that bad?”
“No, I mean… it’s probably the facial hair,” I replied hastily, trying to soften the blow a little. He looked fantastic, to be honest; just not like my usual schoolmate. And to be even more honest, his behavior wasn’t really that mature either. “But really… How did you end up here?”
“Well, my own story is pretty fucking romantic, actually,” he sighed and swallowed the last bit of his cone. “I followed my lover here, like a horny pup. But sadly, it didn’t work out. And… then I just decided to stay, because I fell in love with the place.”
“Oh… Did she leave you?”
“He… actually. His name was Andrea. We met in The Big Apple, and when it was his time to go home, I decided to go with him.” I didn’t really know what to say to that at first. The information settled like cement at the pit of my stomach. He was truly an adventurous kind. Meanwhile, Josh seemed lost in his own thoughts, as he pretended to be interested in the busker who still kept singing in the middle of the square. “It was… uh… a family affair. The split-up, I mean. They didn’t like me,” he added bitterly.
“So… you’re into guys?” I was a bit afraid of the response, because I was really starting to like him, so you can imagine my relief when the cheeky grin slowly returned back to his face.
“I’m into people… of all shapes and sizes.”
He then told me how he worked briefly as a bartender before the pandemic and then kept changing jobs frequently so as not to lose the visa. I admired that. He was SO different from me.
“Do you wanna hear a secret?” I mumbled bitterly… and if he noticed the tone, he certainly didn’t show it.
“Absolutely. I love secrets! I hope this one’s naughty.”
“I wish. More likely embarrassing, actually. I’ve been here for almost a year, but I haven’t seen Venice yet.”
In response, Josh’s lips stretched into a cheeky grin.
“What?”
“Well… that means we’re definitely going to see each other again! Gimme your number!”
“What?”
“Gimme your number. I’m taking you to Venice. Are you free tomorrow evening?”
“I thought Venice was awfully crowded in July,” I tried to protest, but at the same time I couldn’t understand why I kept trying to sabotage it. This was exactly what I wanted. Deep down, the girl who wanted to glam up her make up a la Elizabeth Taylor roared in delight.
So it was settled. Josh would take me to Venice. It was a date. I still couldn’t believe it when he walked me home.
I lingered a bit under the streetlight right below my window, not really ready to say goodnight to him just yet, but it was getting chilly and I had already started to shiver. Josh hesitated too.
“Ya know, I wasn’t lying when I said that your lips are very kissable.”
The sudden change in both tone and volume of his voice surprised me. He sounded way less confident as he slowly turned towards me, yet he still dared to look right into my eyes.
Normally, I would avert them immediately, but Josh was like a living magnet, and his stare kept me hypnotized. There was also something about him that made me feel less anxious, too. He was a flirt, alright… but genuine. He bit his own plump lower lip while waiting for my response, rocking on the soles of feet with his hands still in his pocket. It made him look much younger than he actually was, and almost vulnerable, too. Almost.
I knew what I wanted; just the idea made my heart beat fast. I was too afraid to simply tell him, but suddenly daring enough to at least ask. “You want to kiss them again?”
“I really do, yeah,” he nearly whispered, almost sultrily… only to giggle and hunch his shoulders like a frolicksome boy a second later: “Preferably not against your will this time.”
“Do your worst.” I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know what got into me. It was stronger than me.
“Not yet,” he whispered.
The whole evening, I had been wondering what it would feel like if he cupped my cheeks in his slender hand. I didn’t need to wonder anymore. The world started spinning as soon as he touched me, and I wrapped my arms around his waist both to ground myself and to keep him close.
He didn’t do his worst. Allegedly. But it was still more than I could hope for. Unlike the first time, the way he teased me until our lips finally touched made me almost lose my mind. And when he deepened the kiss, slowly licking into my mouth while that cool hoop brushed against my lower lip, I lost it completely. I think I bit him, too. It was a completely unconditioned response. His soft, barely audible moan only stirred up the fire, making my whole body tingle.
Josh just made me hungry.
He tasted like dark chocolate this time.
“Are you fucking serious? And why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier?”
Amanda lay sprawled on her bed, watching me trying to flatten the wrinkles on my new long red sundress in front of the mirror. Yet another slightly impetuous purchase I made earlier that day and then quickly washed it. But because it couldn’t be put in a dryer, it was still slightly damp and creased below the knees. I grabbed the bottom hem of the skirt and waved it around frantically a few times, letting the breeze do the job.
It was no use and I had no time left to iron it. Josh was already late… quite fortunately, because I wasn’t ready yet, anyway. I let the dress be, quickly grabbed the lipstick and sighed before finally responding. “Because I knew you would try to talk me out of it.”
“Daaamn right I would! That guy is one big walking red flag.”
“Yeah hughing hih hoo harshly,” I frowned at her reflection while trying to put the lipstick on, only to make her raise her eyebrow back at me in a silent ‘oh really’. I smacked my lips together and then pouted slightly, admiring how they shone in the late afternoon light before I continued. “He’s actually quite nice. And funny. We talked a lot last night. And then he walked me home.”
‘Quite nice’ was a serious understatement. Josh had been occupying my mind for the whole day and ‘nice’ certainly shouldn’t be my word of choice to describe those visions. And now, as I recalled the events of the previous night in my head, my own reflection betrayed me. I had revisited the kiss while sleeping, but the dreamlike version of him hadn’t stopped there. I could already feel that tongue all over my body and I woke up determined to let it happen.
My cheeks reddened involuntarily and Amanda noticed too, so she immediately knew there was more to the story. “And?”
“And then he kissed me again.” Amanda rolled her eyes and exhaled dramatically. I knew what she was thinking, and she gave me a look that clearly said ‘I’m glad you’re still alive’. She had come back home after lunch and it wouldn’t be the first time I took advantage of her absence, though never with someone like that. “That’s all that happened, I swear! But Amanda, it was SOOO good!”
Her next response was swallowed by the sound of an engine coming from our open window. We exchanged a brief wtf look before she jumped out of her bed to take a look at the source of the noise while I remained standing by my toiletry mirror holding my breath, with my heart suddenly beating like crazy. It was probably him.
Amanda’s expression confirmed my suspicion, but there was more to it. Her lips tightened into a small ‘o’ and she slowly turned her head back to me, raising one eyebrow at me again. “I think you might want to change.”
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): Just talking about pain, sex and drugs.
👉 SERIES MASTERPOST 👉 TAGLIST
Welcome to my new AU series, which I hope you'll enjoy!
A special thanks goes to my dear @thewritingbeforesunrise who agreed to be my beta reader, advisor and fact-checker, and who's been patiently brainstorming with me so far.
Prologo: Sarah's Lament
Once when I was out with friends, we had this interesting argument about what hurts the most.
Some said it must be when you break a bone, while one guy argued that no pain can compare to having your teeth drilled without anesthesia. None of us could yet affirm it could be childbirth, but we heard about it, so we added that to the list too. I think I mentioned burns. I had scalded my hand once and it hurt so much that just imagining a greater wound or even burning alive was something absolutely terrifying.
But now I’m convinced none of that is true, because I don’t think anything can compare to the broken heart. I know it sounds like a terrible cliché, but there are articles supporting this crazy notion of mine, so I believe I can’t be completely wrong. Right?
Any other pain makes you aware of how much you want to live, and the relief feels like rebirth. But when your heart breaks, it can make you want to crawl in the ditch and die. It’s a long-lasting pain as well, and even when you think the wound has already healed, you can still feel the ghost of that ache every time you remember. I felt that way for a long while, and my chest still tightens whenever I think about it.
I also think it hurts so much because everything that precedes it is so fucking exhilarating. You miss the high, and how living feels different when you’re in love. It’s an altered state of consciousness. Love makes you want to sing, scream and shout.
Josh certainly did. Sometimes all at once. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still smell the scent of sweet amaretto powder that surrounded him like a cloud, I can see the Full Moon reflected in the water of the lagoon, and I can hear his moans that pierced the silence around us. He smelled like an angel covered in vanilla sugar, and he almost looked like one sometimes. That wicked little devil…
He made me feel alive, sharpening my senses and augmenting every single feeling and sensation I experienced with him. It doesn’t matter if it was the mountain wind in my hair or his tongue licking my pussy; he made everything memorable. Impossible to forget.
I clung to him for dear life. And quite literally so, with my arms wrapped around his slim waist as we rode down the highway or through the winding, narrow streets buzzing with evening life. We got high under the starry Italian sky and then we fucked like rascals right on that motorbike.
Good girl gone bad. God knows I needed to go through that transformation. It made me get rid of my metaphorical training wheels.
That kind of love seems meaningful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re destined to grow old with such a person by your side.
It doesn’t change the fact that I fucking wanted to!
However, Josh can’t be my haven. We both know that. The time spent with him was an eventful and dangerous journey. One hell of a ride!
Two souls, both alike in strive for freedom,
In fair Padova, where we lay our scene,
They fell in love while rushing high,
In pursuit of treasure gold and green.
The smell of fuel and candied almonds,
Clouded Sarah's judgment, maybe?
She cried and bellowed that it will kill them,
And Josh said 'it's just erba, baby!'
Prologo
Capitolo Uno
Capitolo Duo
Capitolo Tre
Capitolo Quattro
Capitolo Cinque
... and more to come...
Well, welcome to my new AU series, which I hope you'll enjoy! The prologue will be posted later today.
A special thanks goes to my dear @thewritingbeforesunrise who agreed to be my beta reader, advisor and fact-checker, and who's been patiently brainstorming with me so far.
If this caught your attention, feel free to join THE TAGLIST.
(Right now I'm using my old one, so if you're not interested in this story and you got the notification, just send me a message.)
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): I will be address each chapter separately, but overall this story will contain smut, angst, drugs, criminal activities, reckless driving, dub-con and some existential queries.
Let’s be clear about something: fanfic writers owe you nothing.
They take time, freely, to create for you. Hours, days, weeks to craft emotionally layered, narratively complex stories that they share FREELY. No paywall. No expectation. Just passion for a world, a character, a song, a band. They do it because they care, they’re inspired. They want to share something to the community.
In return? Too often, they get anonymous messages tearing them down. Accusations. Baseless claims. Condescension disguised as critique. The irony is that the people sending these messages never create anything of note themselves. They produce nothing, but feel entitled to demean and constantly shit on those who do.
The goal is never constructive feedback. Don’t pretend it is. The goal is intimidation, mean girl bullying. To make writers afraid to share their work. To shrink the space until only your voice is left echoing in it. Is this high school? I've seen too many master lists pulled, blogs taken down and brilliant writers second guessing themselves. What a fucking bleak outlook.
Fanfic is a gift. Every story shared is something someone gave their time, heart and mind to. If it’s not for you, that’s fine. Scroll past.
Let people create. Let them be proud. Or say nothing and move on.
Josh Kiszka x Tom + all his deranged brothers
1.800 words
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
BASED ON TRUE EVENTS. (Nothing to do with GVF.)
Warnings (are spoilers): almost none, except maybe tresspassing, some juicy language and one massive dildo
... and in case you wonder who the hell is Tom, wonder no more.
Josh was late that day.
And that, my dear readers, is such a lame first line that even I cringe while rereading it, because Josh is always late, am I right? However, he was so late that day that even his brothers started to worry.
… and that’s also a pretty lame description of the situation, because they weren’t worried at all; they were seething.
So, despite the previous collective agreement that the session should start at 2 pm, Josh arrived at the studio at half past four with the force of a hurricane destroyed by the mountains the size of Himalayas, both agitated and subdued by something that would no doubt make a very juicy story… if only he would be willing to share it.
So yeah, Josh stormed into the room hiding behind one of his ridiculous so-called sunglasses and a baseball cap so low profile everyone within the one mile radius could hear his curls scream for mercy.
One look at him told the rest of the band everything they needed to know. Forgetting how pissed they were by his super late arrival just a minute ago, their chests swelled with curiosity as they all took a deep breath, all getting ready to strike. In the meantime, Josh desperately tried to act like nothing was out of ordinary.
But he fooled no one. While this Incognito Josh styling made him look pretty cool in tiktok videos – or at least he chose to believe this self-imposed lie – it was quite unusual during the more mundane everyday activities, such as making Jake clench his jaw while counting to ten. He took the “White Mirror” monstrosity off his face eventually, but kept the cap on, while avoiding everyone else’s piercing gazes with a little help of the white visor.
Sam was the first one to get mean, I mean funny, and address the elephant in the room, but Josh tried to keep the stoic mask. Just to let off steam that threatened to suffocate him, he told his younger brother to ‘piss off’ and hoped it was enough to make them drop the subject. “All right, let’s get this done,” he cleared his throat again, already positioned behind his microphone.
Again, he fooled no-one.
Josh was hiding something.
Josh was embarrassed!
Daniel and Sam exchanged just one brief look before they attacked him like two hyenas. Josh was no fool, he sensed the danger before they reached him and started running around the room, looking more like a macaque than a gazelle. He nearly overturned a guitar stand, earning a very ominous sounding, guttural “HEEEEY!” from his twin.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he squeaked and – momentarily distracted – jumped right into Daniel’s arms with a strangled “ooomph”. Sam seized the opportunity, grabbed the cap by the visor and threw it across the room. Josh, still held tight by Daniel, let out a sigh of defeat.
The room fell silent when Jake and Sam finally saw it. Danny finally released him to have a look as well.
Even with Josh’s curls damp with sweat and plastered to his brow, it was still VERY visible: a huge circular bruise right in the middle of his forehead.
“Josh…?” Jake was the first one to break the stunned silence. He started rubbing his chin fiercely in a desperate attempt to keep a straight face. “Why do you have a MASSIVE hickey right above your eyebrows?”
The visual image that Jake implanted in Daniel’s and Sam’s heads with that remark made them both burst out laughing. They imagined Tom attached to Josh’s forehead like a suckerfish, but even though they almost pissed themselves, deep down they both knew there was probably more to the story.
Before any of them could ask any more questions, Jake continued: “Do you realize we have a photoshoot tomorrow?”
“Yeah, Jake, I know,” Josh spat back bitterly. “I already called Jen, ok? Now drop it and let’s go back to work.”
“Not before you tell us what happened.”
“Fine, I’m leaving.”
It was no use. Josh refused to tell them and they had to finish the song, so they dropped it… for a while. The very next day, Jake called Tom. His reaction – basically pretending he had no idea what Jake was talking about – told Jake more than enough… and nothing at the same time. It was time to take action. Thankfully, he still had the keys to Josh’s (and Tom’s) house.
Knowing full well Josh had yoga lessons on Wednesday evenings, the three of them sneaked into the house after sunset, hoping to find Tom in his workroom. “So what’s the plan?” Jake whisper-asked when they entered an empty, dim lit living room.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sam hissed back, pointing his weapon (a water gun) back at Jake. This was your idea. I thought you had a plan!”
“Shhhh,” Daniel pressed his hand over Sam’s mouth, shushing him instantly. “Look!” He pointed at Tom’s telephoto lens lying on the couch. One of his most treasured possessions, just felt there like that for the taking. Sam quickly grabbed it while others sneaked back into the hall, leading the way.
“On three!” Jake whispered again when they reached the door of Tom’s room and grabbed the knob.
They stormed into the room like Four Horsemen… three, technically… making Tom yelp. He turned around on his swivel chair to face them, but remained sitting. “What the fuck are you fuckers doing here?!?!”
His eyes immediately fell on Sam, standing in the middle with the lens in one hand, and pointing a water gun at it with the other. “Don’t do anything stupid, my brother from another mother! No harsh movements!”
“What do you want?” Tom sighed exasperatedly, eyeing Sam warily. He tried to keep calm simply to prevent Sam from accidentally dropping the lens. His eyes then traveled to Jake and Danny, both with their arms crossed, looking like they really meant business.
Jake took a step forward and leaned down until his face was just a few inches from Tom. “The truth.”
“I said no.” If Jake wanted a poker face staring match, Tom was game. Those two had proven to be true champions in this discipline in the past and this was no exception.
It led to nowhere, so before any one of Josh’s hot headed brothers could cause any real damage, Daniel took the reins, taking control of the situation. “Listen, Thomas…,” he cleared his throat and started pacing the room slowly. “Do you remember those Halloween pictures with the two of you dressed as Tom and Jerry?”
“What about them?” Tom’s deep voice remained calm and daring while his gaze followed Daniel’s movement.
“All of them? Including the midnight version with the collar?” Tom’s jaw clenched - a clear indicator that behind that cold mask, a storm was already raging. “You thought we deleted them, but the truth is, we did… not!”
Sam slapped his forehead in realization and – having forgotten he was still holding the water gun – yelped in pain. Jake’s lips just transformed into a silent o. It was true. They had assured Tom and Josh that Sam had deleted those photos from his phone, but a little brotherly betrayal never killed nobody. But…
Everyone was watching Daniel now, everyone thinking the same thing, until Tom finally said that aloud: “You’re bluffing. It’s not like you could use them anyway. He’s your singer.”
“That’s true,” Daniel sighed. “I can’t post them on main, true… but, remember how we met your dad and he and I had that nice little chat about golf? He’s been following me ever since.”
Tom’s face turned completely pale. “You wouldn’t…,” he whispered.
“See, Tom, desperate times call for desperate measures. And we’re really desperate to know!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you,” Tom tilted his head back and sighed in defeat, before he pointed his finger at Sam. “But put the lens down! NOW!”
It all happened the night before the studio session. Tom was just taking a hot bath with his favorite book after a long day, when Josh suddenly threw open the door and stormed into the bathroom with a ‘yeehaw’, making Tom drop the book in the water.
“For fucks sake! What the fuck is that?!”
“Well, a… UNICORN! Don’t you see?” Josh grinned at first, but – seeing Tom’s deadly stare – it slowly transformed into a disappointed pout. “It was supposed to be funny, but… you’re not laughing.” He looked like a sad puppy now.
Tom squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hand over his face, partly to hide the involuntary chuckle, and partly to assure himself that he still really loved the man.
The man with a huge pink dildo dangling from his forehead!
They had bought it a few months ago as a joke, without EVER intending to use it because it was SO massive. Tom had already forgotten they had such a monstrosity in the house. Apparently, not Josh.
He looked at Josh again and the corners of his lips twitched. It was funny. Not funny enough to laugh, though… yet. “That suction pad is pretty strong, huh?”
“Yeah, pretty impressive, right?” Josh shook his head from side to side, making Tom squeeze his eyes again. “Who would have thought? Geez, it’s funny. Just say it’s funny you fucker!”
Tom sat up and leaned against the bathtub. “Yeah Josh, it’s fucking funny, but aren’t you afraid?”
“Of what?” Josh asked absentmindedly while admiring his reflection in the mirror for one last time. Before Tom could reply, Josh got his answer as he grabbed the dildo with both hands and pulled… and nothing happened. “Oh!”
“Yeah… this,” Tom chimed in and bit his lip. Josh tried again, with more force, yet still the same result.
“Oh fuck!”
Now Tom finally laughed. After watching his lover swear and struggle for a few more seconds, he finally climbed out of the bath and gently swatted Josh’s hands away while still laughing. “Allow me.”
Josh’s eyes were now filled with dread. “It won’t come off,” he stated the obvious.
“I know, that’s why I wanna help you. Grab the sink. Don’t move.” Tom grabbed the dildo and yanked at it, feeling the suction loosed, though not enough yet. He had to try three more times before it finally came off with a pop, sending Josh staggering backwards.
“Josh…?” Tom muttered after staring at his boyfriend for a few more seconds. It was still funny, but Tom knew very well that he had to keep his face calm now.
“Yeah?
“Don’t panic, ok?”
Josh looked back at him in confusion before the realization hit. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took a few steps forward towards both Tom and mirror, and took a deep breath before he dared to open them to see his reflection. “FUUUCK!”
lovers to enemies to lovers; part four of miniseries
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): hard kisses, hair pulling, light choking, intense lust, very rough blowjob (I apologize if this is not your cuppa tea, but these scenes are necessary for full understanding of Blue's character.), gagging, panic, light sub/dom play, fingering, rimming, tender vaginal sex, angst; this chapter is basically just porn laced with psychoanalysis
Blue Masterlist
It felt as if he had never kissed me before, so urgent that the need to swallow him whole was almost debilitating. I opened my mouth wide like a drowning woman gasping for air, only for him to seal it with his and prevent me from taking that breath.
Don’t get me wrong, it was still a fight; one which I already lost, because Jake was everywhere again, invading and taking control of all my senses. I was clinging to him for dear life, certain that if he let go of me, I’d fall crumbling on the floor like a pile of withered bones.
It’s truly a curse to love someone so much that their touch makes you forget about not just the world, but yourself too. All those weeks spent trying to regain it all, he erased them with one flick of his finger. That’s no longer lust, that’s a primary need.
The urge to make him feel at least a portion of my desperation was just as strong. He came here to win again, but I would never surrender peacefully, determined to claw and bite my way through this route to hell. My fingernails pressing into the flesh of his upper back made him groan and in response, he forced his leg between my thighs. Our teeth clashed uncomfortably, but neither one cared. Only the necessity to breathe finally made us break the searing kiss, gasping for air.
“You’re shivering,” he whispered breathlessly against my still parted lips.
“Fuck off,” I breathed out, my voice trembling. I felt rather than saw his lips stretch in a smile, and I squeezed my eyes shut to keep myself from saying more. Please don’t hurt me.
He was free to destroy me physically though, and – as if he could read my mind – he grabbed a handful of my hair, forcing my head back to ravage the exposed skin of my throat, turning me into a whimpering mess. “I love being right,” he growled. “You’re desperate for this.” Past the point of trying to argue with him, I arched my back and pressed myself even closer to his exposed chest, rubbing my still clothed clit against his thigh in near desperation. Being close was never enough; I had to have and feel him inside of me again.
I don’t even know how we got into the living room. I was barely aware of my trembling fingers trying to unbutton his pants while his own were firmly wrapped around my neck as I kept stumbling backwards with him leading the way. I certainly cannot tell how I suddenly ended up on my knees, completely naked and with Jake’s cock deep in my throat, sucking hungrily and getting off on the lewd sounds that kept escaping his own filthy mouth. It’s all in a haze, as if it was me who had been drinking, and not him.
“Oh god, Blue, this is why,” he moaned with his head tilted back. “You’re the queen. No one can compare.”
No one? Really? Pushing my buttons even now? I knew very well what he liked, and if no one else could do that, so why did he let them even try? The new surge of anger made me ravenous, so I withdrew momentarily, only to offer him more of it. If the evening turned out to be a mistake, let him at least remember what he lost. I couldn’t be more ruined than I already was, anyway. Also, the masochist in me simply craved it.
“Shut up and gag me,” I hissed and he awarded me with a look that made my pussy clench around nothing. I had barely enough time to brace myself and place my palms on his thighs before he grabbed my hair with one hand and forced my jaw open again with the other.
“Alright then, beg for air,” Jake groaned before he showed his dick back inside my mouth, forcing my head down and keeping me there. My throat contracted around him and my whole upper body convulsed. But that was all welcome. Already feeling the onset of endorphin high, I stroked his thigh to let him know I was ok and his grip loosened in acknowledgement for a split second.
Yanking my head back, he allowed me just enough time to take another deep breath, heaving, before he started fucking my mouth with brutal force. It was my punishment as well as my reward, making me feel both exhilarated and lonely.
They all needed me for their selfish pleasure, but no one really, truly needed me.
At least Jake was also giving, making me feel like a queen during those precious moments when I seemed to matter.
It was just an illusion…
And all of the sudden, I couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how much I tried to relax, my heart rate went through the roof and my throat kept closing on its own, making me gag more than was desirable and sexy. I could already feel bile rising, and with it, fear. Panicking, I patted Jake’s thigh with acute agitation and he pulled out immediately.
I fell on all four and squeezed my eyes shut, trembling and trying to catch my breath. My head was spinning and the tiny shards that were once my heart were cutting through my insides. I hadn’t felt that way in years. Unwanted, abandoned, sometimes even blamed…
I didn’t notice Jake crouching down next to me until he gently pulled my chin up, urging me to look at him.
“Blue, hey, what’s go… please tell me those are not real tears.”
“No,” I lied, whispering. I tried to smile, because it was not his fault, but a sudden sob betrayed me. Jake quickly pulled me in his arms, cradling and rocking me like a babe. And that’s exactly how I felt. Vulnerable and weak.
“I’m so sorry, Blue. I’m an idiot.”
“No,” I repeated. We had done that many times before and I never went to pieces like that. It surprised me too.
The blinding passion that had clouded our minds earlier was suddenly gone, but neither of us wanted the moment to end. We kept sitting there on the floor in the middle of the room with our limbs entangled, like a sculpture or two lost souls.
I didn’t care how we got there. I didn’t care where we would go from there. Jake was here… and the distance I had really or allegedly kept, all the things he told me, as well as everything that was still left unsaid… it simply did not matter.
I could not think, only feel. His palm caressing my back; his lips planting gentle kisses on top of my head in between repeated, muffled apologies; his skin, warm and already damp with perspiration, pressed against mine. That was all I could focus on.
“Will you allow me to make this better?” Jake mumbled in my hair once my heart rate settled down.
“You can do whatever you want.”
“No, that’s not how it works, baby,” he huffed in exasperation and wiped the remains of saliva strings from my swollen lips with his thumb. “And not why I’m here. Come on, get up.”
I tried, still clinging to him for support. My knees hurt and my legs were wobbly. Jake slowly helped me on a couch, laying me down on my stomach. “A massage, perhaps?” He asked while running palm up my spine.
“That’s a bit of a letdown,” I mumbled into a cushion, fighting off a smile.
A second later, I felt him lean down, his hair tickling the skin of my upper back, before he whispered in my ear: “I didn’t specify where exactly I’m gonna be touching you, you brat. Or with what…”
It started with soft kisses at the nape of my neck and as the tip of his tongue traveled down, I felt him shift and spread my legs apart. “Now… ass up, Blue,” he ordered and bit my left ass cheek to strengthen his point.
Point taken; I was putty in his hands.
The said hands grabbed two of the larger cushions and stuffed it between the couch and my lower belly, leaving me completely exposed and completely at his mercy. And he showed none.
The first slow circle he ran with the tip of his finger around my clit was like an electric shock, and Jake took his time, first gathering enough wetness and then rubbing slowly. “Relax now. Take a deep, grounding breath?”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” I obeyed and he slid two fingers inside me, finding the secret spot immediately. I moaned loudly and he added a third one. It felt great, but still nothing unusual, until…
I barely felt the tip of his tongue at first, but it was still unmistakeable and my initial reaction was just trying to wiggle free from the touch. Not because it was uncomfortable – quite on the contrary – but it was simply beyond intimate. “Shhh, relax,” Jake whispered, trying to hold me in place with his free hand, before he turned his focus back to my butthole. Now I TOTALLY felt it. Soft, less intense than him just eating me out, but surprisingly pleasant. And I could feel it everywhere, like some secret switch that increased the rate of the whole experience. Even the familiar feeling of his fingers inside me suddenly felt brand new.
I yelped, startled by the intensity of this brand new sensation. He had never done this before, at least not in this combination. And not with his tongue. “Oh my god, Jake! Please…,” I panted.
“Please what?”
“Please don’t stop.” He squeezed my left buttock in response, but my mind was already filtering out everything except his fingers and tongue and the way it made me feel. I buried my face in a cushion to muffle my screams. It felt like… any second now… and then again…
Jake kept me on the verge of orgasm for what felt like several long minutes, and just when I thought I was going to lose my mind, the whole world collapsed around me, making my whole body dissolve into flittery fairy dust. It took another eternity for me to get back to Earth again.
By that time, Jake was already hovering above me once again and could feel his hot breath against my earlobe before he swept my dishevelled hair behind it and kissed my neck tenderly.
I was suddenly acutely aware of his hard cock pressing against my entrance, hesitating. “How are you feeling?” he mumbled with his lips still pressed against my skin and I could feel them stretch into a smile, because he already knew the answer.
“Could be better,” I chuckled breathily.
“Really? I still haven’t cast that brat outta you? Well that’s not good. Would you, perhaps, let me make you feel even better then?”
Instead of responding, I reached behind to grab his ass and urged him to fill me up. We both gasped when he did and he bit the tender skin of my shoulder blade to muffle his moan.
“Be loud, Jake,” I whimpered and he followed suit.
Who would have thought just half an hour ago when we were biting our lips and moaning into each other’s mouths hungrily, that the night would end like this. Rocking slowly and in synchrony with our breathing patterns, as if we had all the time in the world, because we were alone in it. I truly believed that, even if just for a while. Jake kept kissing my cheek the whole time, and I would have cried if I wasn’t weeping already on and around his dick.
He had been tender with me before, but never like this, and when I came for the second time, it wasn’t explosive; it felt like melting into him.
It took him just a moment to join me, shaking and whispering my name.
When it was over, neither moved for a while, until the silence grew loud. “Jake?” I whispered at last.
“Hmm?”
“What did we do?”
He exhaled raggedly and I felt him shift and pull his softening cock out of me carefully. “Do you want me to bring you a towel?” His voice was soft, but strangely muffled. It was also not the response I hoped for…
“No.” I slowly scrambled back on my feet and excused myself to use the bathroom as the feeling of abandonment came slowly creeping back. And if I couldn’t escape it, at least I didn’t want to be seen. But he called after me.
“Blue?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t be too long. Let’s talk about it.” He smiled softly, albeit reluctantly, but it DID reach his eyes, so I reciprocated.
When I came back, I heard him talking on the phone with someone. The anger and annoyance in his tone startled me, so I hid behind the door frame.
“…no… at Blue’s… listen, I can’t really talk now… uh..yeah, we did…,” he sighed. “… Stop. I know… for fuck’s sake, Josh! I KNOW!... but it’s my mistake!”
He didn’t get the chance to finish the call. He barely had enough time to put on the discarded clothes that I kept throwing at him. “A mistake, huh?!?! Yeah, it truly was, you fucking asshole!”
lovers to enemies to lovers; part three of miniseries
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): Yearning, heartbreak, unrequitted (?) love, alcohol consumption, language, sadness, vague allusions to old trauma, jealousy, plotting, a lot of angst, vengeful and toxic behaviour, mild violence, intense kissing
Blue Masterlist
“What do you wanna do, Blue?”
That was all Lucy managed to say – her words laced with genuine concern – before her brother shushed us. I squeezed her hand in a weak reassurance and she continued to hold it during the whole ceremony that started just seconds later. Sometimes she acted more like a mother than a friend, except my mother would never do that.
It was no doubt beautiful – the ceremony, I mean – but I hardly paid any attention. I tried with all my might not to look over my shoulder, but my willpower had suffered too, under his influence. I had to know what she looked like, even though it was not important and I had no right to be so curious, much less jealous.
Jake didn’t replace me; I walked away.
And yet I was also the one that couldn’t move on, no matter how hard I tried… while he didn’t even have to try. I walked in chains, and he was free.
After all those weeks, the idea that I had been nothing more that just one of many was still ripping at my insides and Jake acted as if he knew about my struggles, using it to torture me for refusing to play that role.
She was pretty. Younger than me, with kind, clever eyes, rosy lips and shiny hair. I expected nothing less. She whispered something in his ear and he smiled kindly back. That’s when our eyes met. It wiped that smile off of his face abruptly and I turned back just as quickly and with a beating heart, feeling like a thief that just got caught.
“What do you wanna do?” Lucy repeated once again when it was over and the newlyweds excused themselves briefly to take a few sappy photos with bridesmaids and groomsmen. She grabbed me by my elbow and ushered us both back inside the kitchen where we resumed our tireless efforts to reduce Lucy’s secret wine stock. Neither of us was that much into champagne that now dominated the main catering table outside.
“I don’t know…” Which was true. I had no plan, only that growing feeling inside my chest that threatened to poison my insides if I didn’t let it out one way or another. “I just can’t let him do that to me. I was the one who ended it, and he keeps treating me like some stalking bimbo that’s just obsessed with him. They all do,” I added bitterly, referring to my previous brief encounter with Josh.
Lucy took a sip and huffed into her glass, obviously thinking. “Blue…,” she sighed at last. “I know this will sound harsh, but… if you don’t want him to treat you like that, stop acting like you are. And, no, stop looking at me like that. If you don’t wanna be here, then leave. That would be more than understandable. But if you stay, please don’t do anything stupid. Ignoring him is the best you can do in any case. Know your worth. You are not your mom, Blue.”
The last sentence felt like a direct blow to the chest. We hardly ever talked about that, and for a reason. “I don’t need reminding.”
“There are still times when I really think you do,” she countered swiftly, ignoring my aggressively defensive tone. “So? Should I call you that Uber?”
I knew Lucy was right – about all of it – but the idea that I had more than one option to choose from was foolish. Leaving would give him the pleasure of knowing that he still could get under my skin, and I couldn’t stomach that. “No, Lucienne, I’ll stay. And I promise I’ll behave. But speaking about promises, you said I’d have a good time, so I’m still counting on you to keep your word.”
“Good!” she grinned. “Have you seen Thomas’ friends? A handsome lot, all of them. And some of them are here alone, just as I had expected. So, let’s go meet those, shall we?”
With a sigh, I followed her to where Dave or Jim or Marcus were already waiting, and as much as I previously hadn’t cared, the idea of flirting with someone new right in front of Jake suddenly seemed quite appealing.
It worked for a while. Lazy, warm evenings are perfect for mindless chit-chat and I was tipsy enough to be able to pretend I somehow even enjoyed it. Melodious laughter, soft touches, rustling leaves and singing birds under the setting sun... True rom-com shit. Sadly, Lucy lied about the interesting people and neither of them could distract me enough to stop me from searching for Jake in the crowd.
And I swear almost everytime I did, my eyes met with his sulky stare. He could not ignore me. The nasty creature residing deep inside my chest roared with vengeful satisfaction, only to poison my mood with my own venomous intentions as the evening progressed.
Tired of that farce at last, I excused myself and found my way back to our empty table where I sat down to observe the merrimaking from a safe distance, willingly dissociating. Even a wine stain on the white tablecloth right in front of me suddenly seemed more exciting.
“Fancy a dance?” I looked up to see Josh smiling softly at me with an offered hand. “I’m sorry about earlier, so… I don’t know, consider this to be an apology or something.”
I raised my eyebrow at him and he immediately mirrored the gesture. “Come on.”
“Don’t you have anyone else to dance with?”
He sighed but remained hovering above me patiently, immune to my standoffishness… or at least willingly choosing to ignore it. “He doesn’t dance, but you look like you’d love to.”
I’d rather walk on broken glass than be dragged back into the bustle, but this was Josh – a human anchor – so I reluctantly took the offered hand and let him lead me to the makeshift dance floor. I guess he sensed my unease, so we stayed by the edge, just swaying lazily into the music.
“I didn’t let you finish the sentence earlier,” I broke the awkward silence after a while.
“Uh?”
“You wanted me to listen, but I did not.”
“Ah, yes. I think I wouldn’t be able to formulate the words properly, anyway. I like you, Blue…,” he frowned, looking over my shoulder restlessly.
“And what’s that supposed to mean, Josh?” I stopped and pulled away from him, but he refused to let go of my hand.
“I… it means… I just think you should stay away from Jake. For everyone’s sake.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed, trying to keep my voice down, because his clenched jaw told me that me making a scene was exactly what he feared. “Did you see what he did?”
“Yeah... Yes, I did, but…”
“Then I’m afraid this dance is over. Please, let go of me.” Josh took a deep breath and finally let my hand slip through his fingers. I simply turned around and walked away slowly, drowning in the familiar feeling of my chest tightening as a sudden wave of sadness hit it. I no longer felt anger, only dejection… and that was dangerous. I had to find Lucy.
With my mouth so dry it was suddenly hard to swallow, I stopped by the main table briefly to grab a glass of champagne which I emptied with two gulps. Still in haste, I turned abruptly towards the way that led to the kitchen and collided with her. She yelped in surprise and spilled her drink all over my cleavage. “Fucking hell!”
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I just wanted to say hi, but now I completely ruined it. And your dress! Please, oh my god, let me.” She grabbed a handful of napkins and started patting my chest clumsily, rendering me speechless. But, honestly, the high cadence with which she spoke would stun even a caffeinated meerkat.
“You… what?” was all I managed to stutter in response. I wanted to hate her. I needed her to be a bitch, which would justify the cold rage that kept creeping back, but I couldn’t see any ingenuity in her wide eyes.
“I just don’t really know anyone here, so I felt a bit left out among the guys the whole evening, but I saw you talking to Josh and Jake saw you looking your way, so I just wanted to say hi. I will pay for that dress. Sooo beautiful, by the way. Once again, I’m so sorry… uh…?”
Something snapped inside me. I knew I had promised Lucy, but it was the opportunity I had been hoping for and the girl basically presented it to me on a silver platter.
“Y/N… but everyone calls me Blue.”
“Oh, that’s nice… I’m…”
“Just another cunt.”
“Excuse me?!?!” I watched with secret pleasure how her face transformed from an awkward smile to the mask of utter, undiluted outrage.
Ready to twist that knife, I continued, my voice cold and calculated. “Jake’s words… from about two hours ago. That’s what he whispered in my ear when he was squeezing my tit and kissing my neck… You’re just “another cunt to entertain”.
She blinked and opened her mouth, but no sound came out of it.
“Yeah, I’m not happy about that either, so don’t be mad at me. I didn’t ask for this. I already dodged the bullet. You should probably do the same.”
She dropped the napkins and took a step back, then looked around and hesitated, obviously unsure what to do. “You should probably go,” I continued calmly. “See, we can’t be friends.”
Poor girl. But the truth is that I did her a favor. And better sooner than later, because while being humiliated by Jake really sucks, loving him is much worse.
Lost in my own thoughts for a fleeting moment, I watched her stomp angrily towards their group before I recovered enough to realize that I should make myself scarce. It was time to find Lucy.
“I’m afraid I’ll need you to call me that Uber after all,” I blurted out, already breathless.
“What did you do?”
Before I could say anything, the girl’s high-pitched screaming coming from outside answered at least some of her questions. We both hurried towards the door to see what exactly happened. “Oh for fuck’s sake Blue,” she whispered at first… and squealed in surprise just a split second later when the girl grabbed a bowl of punch from a smaller catering table and emptied the contents on top of Jake’s head.
“You know what? Forget it. I’m already almost sober,” I said as I started rummaging for car keys inside my purse. “Tell your brother that I’m sorry for… whatever this turns into.” I kissed her cheek hastily before I turned on my heel and I ran through the entrance hall and towards the now empty front door – the quickest way to my car.
It would be foolish to think that Lucy would let me go so easily and without protest, and surely, I soon heard the clacking of her heels right behind me, following my own footsteps on a stony path.
“You can’t just make a mess like that and disappear,” she hissed when she grabbed my elbow and tried to turn me to face her.
“It’s gonna get much worse if I stay, Lucienne. Besides, I didn’t do anything! It was him groping me out in the open where literally anyone could see us. So I’d appreciate it if you'd all stop acting like this is all my fault!” By the time I finished, I was already almost shouting, but that was still nothing compared to Jake’s voice when he emerged from behind the corner, drenched in orange, and started running towards us. “BLUE!”
“For fuck’s sake! OK, go, get lost!” Lucy snapped and pushed me towards my car. I jumped in and managed to slam the door shut just a millisecond before he reached me, slamming the window like a madman, seething with rage. I flipped him off before I drove off.
The first half of the ride home was exhilarating, but my revenge-induced high proved to be short-lived. As I should have expected.
I had never done anything like that before. And Jake had known that; he had been counting on it, no doubt.
And while I managed to take him by surprise, to enrage him even, he was still the winner. Surely, he’d just find someone new before the end of the weekend, leaving the poor girl humiliated… and me? Still the same miserable fool, trying to get over him, but only getting worse.
Still chasing that feeling of retaliation, I drove with my windows rolled down, feeling like Nina Persson singing My Favourite Game, only to realize I was indeed still losing. Deep down, I had desperately wished for him to see my hurt, to realize what he was doing to me, but our silly games only resulted in anger on his side and resentment on mine. Resentment that was slowly transforming to self-hatred, because I simply couldn’t let go. The evening wind did not dry my tears, it just made my eyes sting more.
I was turning to a person I never wanted to be. I could no longer recognize myself. All because of him.
Jake was an asshole with a capital A. I had let him prove that way too many times before, so why did I keep loving him?
I hated him for that. I hated him in the silence of my bedroom until at least 3 in the morning when my traitorous brain finally gave in and stopped torturing me by replaying the scenes from the previous day again, and again, and again.
But even then, my brain and heart showed me no mercy. In the dreams that followed, he kissed me in a way that had made me endure his assholery for months. Just like the first night, tender and healing, before his growing aloofness and open infidelity ruined me.
I spent the whole Sunday in my sleeping shorts and tank top, surviving through the day on microwaved popcorn and strawberry ice cream, too distracted to read a book and stupid enough to keep wasting my time on reddit. ‘What are your methods of getting over someone?’ I don’t know why I thought I would find any answers or advice there, especially when everyone kept saying that it ‘takes time.’ The only problem was, time seemed to slow down without Jake. Minutes kept dragging on with no relief.
Lucy called in the early afternoon to assure me that I hadn’t ruined the party. Good to know the only ruined thing was my soul. In retrospect, I admire her patience with me when I said those words aloud with venom in my voice. I had no right to blame anyone but me for what had happened.
I just desperately needed someone to understand. Just for once.
To be fair, she did ask me how I was or whether I needed anything, but those words could not really penetrate the wall of my self-hatred. Yes, I was completely ok (even though she could hear me crying). No, I didn’t need anything.
Apart from wishing to be left alone, that is. But I didn’t tell her that.
“I’m sorry, Lucienne,” I finally sobbed. “You were right and I didn’t listen, and I broke the promise and you should hate me.”
“Oh please, not this again. I’m mad at you, I’m not gonna deny that. But I don’t hate you. I love you, Blue. For fuck’s sake, just learn to accept that.”
Overcome by exhaustion after a nearly sleepless night, I think I dozed off on the couch before the sun came down, only to be woken by someone pounding frantically on my front door.
The house was already shrouded in darkness and at first I just lay paralyzed by confusion and fear for several seconds, until I heard his voice. Slowly, I switched on the lights and pussyfooted towards the door.
“Go away.”
“No. Open the fucking door, Blue! I’m sick of you running away from me, and I’m not going anywhere.”
This time he opted for the doorbell, holding it until I couldn’t take it anymore. With a pounding heart, I opened it just a crack. “What do you want, Jake?”
“I need you.”
I expected him to say all kinds of hurtful things, especially after what I had done, but definitely not this. However, knowing him, this hurt too. “No, you don’t. Go away.” I tried to close the door, but he outstretched his arm to stop me, and staggered slightly while doing so.
“Are you drunk, Jake?” I sighed.
“I had just a few drinks.”
“A few too many. Just… go home.” It came out almost as a whisper. I was no longer angry at him. To be honest, I’m not really sure how I felt. Exhausted, probably. Emotionally drained. His presence still made my heart go crazy though, making me feel slightly nauseous. I tried to close the door again, pushing back against the leverage of his own palm pressed to the other side of the solid wood. I was sure that if I just let go, he’d fall forward right inside my hallway. “What you need is some sleep, not me.”
“I need YOU,” he repeated with a painful look plastered on his face, completely disregarding my concerns that only kept growing. “And I know you need me too! Come on, Blue, this is just stupid… this… this fighting… this pretense.”
“Jake, no…,” I whined, unsure what I was pleading for. For him to leave me alone? Consciously, yes. That’s what I chose to want. But deep down, I had been yearning for him to come and tell me exactly this.
I knew how foolish it was. I had grown immune to his false words, but not to the unspoken litanies behind his eyes that were now looking directly into mine, as if searching for something. They fooled me again. I took a small step back and opened the door slowly before it even became a conscious thought.
Jake lowered his gaze, looking at the tips of his boots still safely behind the threshold, as if he didn’t really believe that I really budged, before he finally took a step in and clumsily pinned me against the wall, while switching off the light above us accidentally.
And I let him do that, relapsing again.
It wasn’t rough, not even overly lustful. He just cupped my cheeks with his warm hands and looked into my eyes once more. “See? You don’t want me to go. Just say it!”
Sadly, that was true. I didn’t want him to stay either. I felt like drowning, but at the same time it felt… nice. A gust of evening breeze reminded me that this was all happening with my front door still open, leaving my exposed vulnerability in the open and for everyone to see. Even though the street was completely empty, I felt naked. Jake traced the tip of his thumb across my lips and I let them part involuntarily, making him smile and whisper: “You need this, Blue. Just like I need it.”
His own breath grew heavy and I scrunched my nose as the distinct smell of tequila and rum flavored tobacco hit my nostrils. I should have felt appalled by that, should have pushed away that heathen. Instead I felt hopeful. In vino veritas, right? “No, you don’t,” I whispered, opting to continue to fight back. Valiantly, but feebly. He already knew I was giving up, and pressed himself even closer to me, making me feel that he indeed did.
I whimpered and at the same time, a dog barked, making me jump and turn my head in search of the source of the sound. My neighbor Molly was just passing by my house while walking her yorkie Ben. Our eyes met and I noticed sudden deep concern in hers.
“Everything ok, Blue?” she asked loudly, alerting not only Jake, but anyone else behind other closed doors who could possibly hear us.
I panicked. “More than ok, Mol,” I shouted back and finally closed the door with my left foot, sealing my fate with a loud bang.
Jake chuckled triumphantly, making me raise my chin in defiance. This battle wasn’t over yet. “You heard her. You’re one high-pitched scream away from her calling the police. Don’t do anything we’d both regret.”
Those dark eyes were still boring into mine, full of danger and outrage and also something else that quenched my worries, but not my agitation. Without the porch light, we were suddenly shrouded in semi-darkness, the only remaining source of light now being a reading lamp in the adjacent living room. It made his features look almost sinister. Almost. “I’ve never done anything you wouldn’t want… or anything you’d regret afterwards.”
“That’s a lie!” I spat back fiercely and loudly. “You humiliated me. Many times. I never wanted that. It’s not all just sex and pleasure, Jake! You HURT me. I regret ever letting you do that.”
It felt as if something inside me snapped and I was fuming by the time I finished speaking. My hands, pressed submissively against the wall behind me up until that moment, were now squeezing his shoulders with the same urgency as those words I finally forced through my mouth. With his palms still cupping my cheeks, I could feel the words reverberate through him.
Even though I had never wanted him to know any of that, even though I had dreaded him knowing that, saying it all aloud at last was such a relief! I wanted to add that I also regretted knowing him, but that would be a lie.
Maybe we really needed that conversation, even if it was meant to be one sided, even if he would never say sorry. Which he didn’t do. However, I still felt victorious as I watched his eyes widen. His jaw dropped and I waited for him to say something. Anything.
When he didn’t, I added, averting my eyes: “I wanted to believe you just couldn’t see that, but now I know you never cared.”
He finally let go of my flushed cheeks and ran his fingers through his hair instead, sighing in frustration. “Unbelievable,” he whispered at last, shaking his head.
“What?”
“You’re the distant one!” he spat and he smacked the wall next to my head, forcing me to look into his eyes again. I gasped. The ferocity I found in that otherwise familiar darkness was brand new. “Ever wondered why everyone calls you Blue? It’s not just your eyes, babe!” He grabbed me by my forearms and pressed me against the wall again. I thought he would continue, but he just pressed his lips together, fuming.
“Are you done?” I hissed back defiantly.
“No… You want people to crawl back to you, want them to beg you for mercy. Feeding on it. Bitch!”
If one swift motion, I pushed him away with all the force I could muster. Surprised, he let go of me and staggered backwards, and without really thinking, I slapped him across that bewildered face. I regretted it immediately and my hand remained hovering in mid air, frozen in time and waiting for retribution.
After a few excruciatingly long seconds, filled only with the sound of our synchronized breathing, he finally moved and grabbed my wrist without breaking eye contact. He looked completely sober now. And strangely calm. “She cried, you know? I guess I deserve your anger. And hers, too. But she didn’t deserve to cry. Do you even care?”
“Do you? Do you care I did, too? Where I come from, ex-lovers don’t casually grope each other when they accidentally meet. Why did you even do that? What do you want from me?” I tried to wrench free from his grip, but there was no need. He just let go.
“I shouldn’t have come here.”
“And yet, here you are. Why?”
It happened so fast I gasped for air. His fingers, entangled in my hair, pulling. His lips, pressed against mine. His tongue, forcing its way into my mouth. I whimpered and melted into the touch. My visceral response to it was so overwhelmingly intense I wanted to cry. Moaning loudly, I grabbed him by the nape of his neck to keep him close, scared he’d pull away again. All reasoning be damned. All I could feel and focus on was that insatiable and unsatiated hunger.
AN: I was stricken with the thought after reading this Wild Wednesday submission, followed quickly by this follow up.
Then a dear friend of mine @tripthedharmadivine shared the post with me again and we spiraled for a moment into daydreams of our own before I finally couldn’t shake the idea, and well…. that is what this is.💜💜💜
Special thank you to @katuschka for beta reading and making sure this was up to par to post! 💜💜💜
And a HUGE shoutout to @writingcold for helping me choose my cover photo without even getting to read the story first 😂 She is such a trooper! 💜💜💜
Warnings: brat activity, dominance, submissiveness, use of a throat (for purposes other than eating, drinking, or breathing), lots of smut, oral (male receiving), p in v sex, lots of filthy talk, choking, biting, slapping, overstimulation, and the list goes on as I am sure I have missed something, somewhere.
Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 3.5k
You’d been pushing his buttons all day, provoking him since breakfast - mocking, teasing, acting like every word out of his mouth wasn’t worth listening to. The way you brushed past him without so much as a glance. You knew exactly what you were doing, and so did he.
Jake’s patience frayed slowly - like a matchstick bending, splintering - but you weren’t done. Not until you got what you really wanted. That flash in his eyes, the shift in his posture, that moment when he stopped trying to be the composed, perfect boyfriend and snapped.
Jake had let it slide once, twice, three times. But you saw it, that little tick in his jaw, the glint of warning in his eyes each time you smiled a little too sweetly after pushing him. You were testing limits, dangling the thread like a challenge.
And he was done playing nice.
It came when you scoffed at him under your breath and turned away mid-sentence. He caught your wrist as you passed him, spinning you with a force that left no room for doubt, your back hitting the wall with a muted thud.
A heartbeat later, his hand was wrapping around your throat - not enough to hurt, but more than enough to make your breath catch. His face was close, lips parted, eyes dark and wild with the control you’d just handed him on a silver platter.
“Watch your fucking attitude with me,” he growled, voice nothing but grit and fire, “it’s getting real fucking old.”
Your breath hitched, lips twitching into a grin you didn’t bother to hide this time. You wanted this. Had been begging for it with every bratty little jab.
Jake’s eyes dropped to your mouth. He saw the bite of your lip, the hunger in your eyes masquerading as defiance. A spark lit behind your eyes as you looked up at him through your lashes, your smirk curling like a dare. He saw it. And it pushed him further. His grip shifted, palm sliding to your jaw, thumb pressing your chin up until your lips parted on instinct.
“You think this is cute?” he asked, voice low and dangerous. “You think mouthing off gets you what you want?” He tilted your face, examining it like something he might ruin. The second you smirked again, he snapped.
“You don’t get to speak to me that way,” he hissed, voice sharp and deliberate. “Get on the fucking floor, and open that bratty mouth.”
You hesitated just a second - enough to let him know you were still playing the game - before sinking to your knees, head tilted up, breath shallow with anticipation, heat blooming between your legs like a goddamn wildfire.
You were already squirming, barely keeping still, even before he stepped closer, towering over you with a look that promised destruction.
He leaned forward bringing his face level to yours and turned his cheek to you, tapping slowly with his finger as his lips pursed, waiting. “Give me a little sugar,” he growled.
His words were venom-laced, but the moment his eyes swept down your body, the twitch in his jaw betrayed him - he was as undone as you were.
He paused for half a second, almost like he was checking himself, wondering if he’d crossed a line… until he saw you shifting on your knees, thighs pressing together.
That was all it took. The hesitation vanished as he stood back up.
“Look at you,” he muttered, pulling his cock free with one hand, the other knotting tightly in your hair. “So fucking eager. So cocky until you’re on your knees with your mouth open.”
He slapped the head of his cock against your lips, just once, watching the way your tongue darted out before you took him in. He filled your mouth with himself, slow and deliberate, inch by inch.
The way you moaned around him, the way your eyes watered and you still took more - God, it did something to him and he groaned low in his throat as your lips sealed around him.
“That’s it… that’s the only place that bratty mouth of yours is useful,” he growled “And don’t fucking look away. You wanted this.”
You moaned around him, loud and wet, letting him push deeper. He didn’t hold back, using your mouth with a pace that bordered on brutal, but you loved it - loved the way he lost control, the way every sharp thrust was laced with tension from every time you’d rolled your eyes at him, every time you made him clench his fists instead of grabbing you like this.
His fingers dug into your scalp as he rocked into you, head tipping back, breath getting ragged.
“God, look at you choking on it,” he rasped, “So much fucking attitude until I stuff your throat full.”
“You sound so pretty with your mouth full of me,” he groaned, head falling back, hips rocking into you. “Such a fucking brat… You know how much it turns me on, putting you in your fucking place.”
The taste of him filled your mouth, and you let out a muffled moan, lost in it.
You gasped when he pulled back, saliva and need dripping from your lips. Your thighs pressed together, desperate for friction, but he caught the movement and grinned.
“Oh, you’re squirming?” he mocked, grabbing your face in his hand, squeezing your cheeks until your lips puckered. “What’s the matter, baby? Get yourself all worked up running that mouth and now you want relief?”
You nodded, wide-eyed, panting, and desperate.
He crouched down, his mouth brushing your ear as he growled, “You don’t come until I say so.”
And then he was dragging you up, throwing you over the back of the couch, chest pressed into the cushions as he yanked your panties down in one rough motion. No teasing. No time.
“You wanted a reaction?” Jake spat as he lined himself up. “Here’s your fucking reaction.”
The first thrust stole your breath, and the next made you cry out. He didn’t ease in - he punished. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise, pulling you back onto him as he slammed into you again and again.
“Is this what you needed?” he hissed, bending over you, his voice wrecked. “Needed me to lose my fucking mind?”
You tried to answer, tried to moan something, anything - but all that came out was a sob of pleasure, your fingers clawing at the couch cushions as he drove into you.
“You act like a fucking brat because you want to be ruined,” he panted against your neck, “and baby… I’m happy to ruin you.”
His grip on your hips tightened until it bordered on cruel, fingers digging in like he was trying to leave a permanent reminder - his mark, his claim. Each thrust was brutal, unforgiving, rocking your body against the cushions, spine arching under the force of it.
“You think anyone else gets to see you like this?” Jake growled, teeth grazing your shoulder as his body slammed into yours. “Think you can act like a brat with them and get away with it?”
Your moan came out ragged, incoherent.
He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back, forcing your spine into a harsh curve. “No, baby. You do this to me. You push me because you want to see what happens when I finally break.”
He bent closer, breath hot on your neck. “And now I’m fucking broken.”
You didn’t even recognize your own voice anymore - just these ragged, broken sounds falling out of your mouth as Jake fucked you like a man possessed. There was no rhythm now. No restraint. Just his body hammering into yours like he meant to split you in half.
One hand pressed between your shoulder blades, pinning you down hard while the other slipped around your throat again, tighter this time. “I could keep you like this for hours,” he whispered, voice thick with obsession, possessiveness bleeding into every word. “On your knees, on your face, bent over any surface I want. You’d let me.”
He paused just long enough to let that sink in - his cock buried deep, his palm tightening around your throat.
“Say it,” he snarled. “Tell me who you fucking belong to.”
Your voice cracked around a gasp. “Y-you—”
“Louder.”
“You! I belong to you!”
Jake growled low and vicious in your ear, a sound almost inhuman as he began to move again, thrusting so deep it knocked the breath from your lungs. You choked on a sob, pleasure and pain blurring together in a dizzy, burning haze.
“You’re mine,” he snapped, each word punctuated by another thrust. “Every fucking inch of you. That bratty mouth. That soaked little cunt. Mine.”
Your body started to unravel, clenched tight around him, every nerve set alight. You could barely hold yourself up anymore, your legs threatening to give out with each brutal drive of his hips.
He felt it, your body starting to quake - and he let out a sound that was more animal than man. “Go ahead,” he growled. “Fall apart for me. You want to be ruined? Let me destroy you.”
And when you came, it was a wrecked, sobbing mess - his name falling from your lips like a prayer and a curse all at once, your body convulsing beneath him.
“You still cocky now?” Jake snarled, voice barely more than a growl behind you. “Still got that mouth on you, or did I finally fuck the fight out?”
Your only answer was a desperate, helpless moan as you writhed under him, mouth hanging open, eyes glassy. And it lit him up - that look of surrender, the way you were still trying to push back into him even as your body started to go limp.
“Fuck, look at you…” His hand fisted in your hair again, dragging you back just enough to speak into your ear. “So full of attitude a minute ago. Now you’re drooling on yourself, grinding on my cock like a needy little slut.”
He reached down and grabbed your jaw again - his favorite place to anchor you. You were a wreck, lips parted, spit smeared across your cheek, eyes dazed. He loved it. Loved that he did this to you.
“You love being used, don’t you?” he hissed. “Don’t fucking lie. You waited all day to piss me off. Wanted this. Wanted to be wrecked.”
You couldn’t answer - not with words. You just whimpered, thighs clenched together, trying to find friction.
But that wasn’t enough for him.
Jake grabbed your hips and lifted you, dragging your back flush to his chest without even pulling out. You were fully impaled, his cock throbbing inside you as your legs hung weakly with the new angle.
“Keep running that mouth and next time, I’ll fuck you in front of a mirror,” he hissed against your ear, voice wild with lust. “Make you watch what you turn me into. You’d love it, wouldn’t you? Seeing yourself fall apart like this.”
You were already close again, already trembling - and he knew.
“You want to come again?” he snapped, hand slipping between your thighs, fingers brushing the soaked mess he’d made of you. “Then earn it. Take everything I give you and don’t fucking hold back.”
And you did.
Body shattering, back arching violently as you cried out, shaking in his grip while he kept you wide open on his cock.
But Jake wasn’t done.
“Not enough,” he growled, pushing you forward again, bending you in half over the couch. “You want to make a game out of this? Then let’s fucking play.”
He didn’t stop. Not when you begged. Not when your body shook. Not even when your moans turned into sobbing, stuttering gasps. You were soaked. Fucked open. Ruined.
And Jake was starving for more
Your body was shaking. Your throat was raw from the sounds he'd pulled from you, your skin marked in red and purple where his hands had claimed you, your legs trembling and too weak to hold you up. You couldn’t even cry out anymore. Just small, breathless gasps as Jake fucked into you like he was chasing obliteration.
And god, he was so close.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, voice hoarse, desperate. “You feel like heaven - just fucking ruined for me.”
Your head lolled against the couch cushions as he rammed into you, and all you could do was whine and let him take you. You were long past the edge, twitching through the aftershocks of your orgasm, your body slick and flushed, flushed with heat and raw need.
Jake’s hand gripped your throat again to anchor himself, to feel the frantic beat of your pulse as he chased his own end. His hips stuttered. He cursed, low and guttural.
“Gonna fill you up,” he growled, teeth clenched. “You want that? Want me to come inside this tight, messy little pussy I just ruined?”
A broken noise scraped from your chest and that was all it took.
He snapped.
With a broken moan, Jake buried himself deep with one final thrust - so hard your vision blurred - and came with a strangled, gasping groan. You felt the heat of him spill inside you as his fingers sank into your skin like he couldn’t stand the thought of not holding onto you.
His whole body trembled against your back. He stayed there for a moment, cock still buried inside you, panting like an animal as your body twitched beneath his.
And then…
Everything changed.
He moved slowly - so slowly, like he was afraid you’d break if he touched you wrong. He pulled out with a soft groan, then immediately dropped to his knees behind you, his hands smoothing down your thighs, your spine, your sides.
“Shhh, baby… fuck, look at you,” he whispered, his voice shaking now.
You whimpered, barely able to hold your own weight. Jake caught you before you could slump, pulling you effortlessly into his arms and holding you close against his chest.
He held you for minutes - hours - who knew anymore. Your body was limp in his lap, a bundle of boneless whimpers and fluttering heartbeats, and Jake couldn’t stop touching you. Couldn’t stop brushing your hair back. Couldn’t stop kissing your cheek, your neck, your shoulder.
When your eyes fluttered open again, glazed and dazed, he tilted your face up and studied you like you were a sacred thing. Marked up and fucked out, covered in him, barely able to focus - and he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
“Look at me,” he whispered. “You still with me, angel?”
You blinked at him slowly, lips parted, throat raw. “Mhm…”
“You okay?” he murmured. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”
Your lips barely moved. “… ruined.”
Jake let out a shaky, reverent laugh and kissed your forehead again, cradling your face in both hands. “Yeah. You are. My perfect, messy, ruined girl. You don’t even know what you fucking do to me.” His thumb brushed gently over your bottom lip, still swollen from the grip of his hand and his cock. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this. All wrecked from me.”
He looked unhinged - eyes still dark and wild, but now burning with something softer. Like he couldn’t believe you were real. Like he didn’t deserve to have you like this, in his arms.
“I’ll clean you up,” he whispered. “I’ll take care of everything. Just let me… just stay here with me for a second.”
His hands moved constantly. Petting, stroking, checking every inch of you like he needed to reassure himself you were okay. He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around your bare shoulders, tucked you into his lap tighter, pressed his cheek to yours.
“You pushed me today,” he murmured against your skin. “And I fucking love you for it. But next time, baby… I’m gonna go even slower. Make it last. Make you cry in a different way.”
A shaky, breathless laugh escaped your lips.
He gathered you up, and carried you through the apartment with single-minded purpose. His arms were strong and steady, but his voice had gone soft. Too soft, almost broken.
“I’m gonna clean you up. Gonna make it all better now. You were so good for me, baby. So fucking good.”
The bathroom was dimly lit, the air warm. Jake set you down gently on the counter and turned the faucet, running a steaming bath with slow movements, like he was in a trance. You tried to speak, but he hushed you immediately, kissing your forehead.
“Don’t talk. Just feel. Let me take care of you now.”
When the tub was full, he lifted you in like you were fragile glass. The water stung at first - your skin too raw, too sensitive - but he held your hand the whole way down. He climbed in behind you, pulling you between his thighs, your back resting against his chest.
His hands didn’t stop moving. Rubbing soft circles into your thighs. Massaging your hips. Washing you gently.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, voice cracking around the edges.
You shook your head, breath catching. “No… I loved it.”
Jake’s breath hitched.
Then his arms were around you again - tight, too tight, like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting go. His nose buried in your neck, lips dragging over your skin like he was starving for it all over again.
“I need you to know something,” he whispered, barely a sound. “When I get like that… when I lose it… it’s because I’m so fucking in love with you, I can’t think straight.”
Your chest cracked open.
He pressed a kiss behind your ear. “You drive me insane. You push me, you tempt me, you ruin me. And I want it. I want all of it.”
His hand slipped between your legs again, just to rest there, possessively, like he was reminding himself you were still his. Still warm and full and trembling in his arms.
“I made a mess of you,” he murmured, almost proudly. “And I’ll keep doing it every time you test me. Every time you get that mouth. Every time you look at me like you want to be broken.”
He kissed your temple, then your cheek, then your shoulder, then lower.
“I’ll keep breaking you, baby. And I’ll always be the one to put you back together.”
You made a soft, helpless sound in the back of your throat. His arms only wrapped tighter around you, pulling you impossibly closer.
“Now sit here and let me worship what’s mine.”.
Jake washed your hair next, his fingers massaging your scalp with the kind of careful, slow love that made your eyes flutter shut. You could feel the tension melt from your limbs, from your ribs, from your bones.
“Still with me, baby?” he murmured, lips against your wet shoulder.
You nodded, too blissed out to speak
Once you were clean, he kissed the back of your head and shifted you gently to the side so he could wash himself - fast, efficient, never letting go of you for more than a few seconds. His hands moved with purpose, but his eyes were only on you, like you were his center of gravity.
When he was done, he pulled the stopper and stood, lifting you with him as the water drained. You whimpered, legs useless, body soft and pliant in his arms. He dried you off with a towel, then wrapped it around you before grabbing another for himself.
Without a word, he carried you to bed.
The sheets were cool, but Jake was warm - so warm - pressing himself against you, pulling the blankets over both of you before wrapping himself around your body like he could fuse you to him in your sleep. His chest to your back, one arm tucked under your neck, the other draped possessively over your waist, one thigh wedged between yours like he still wasn’t ready to stop touching you.
“You good?” he whispered, voice low and gravel-rough against your ear.
You nodded. Barely able to speak. Barely able to move.
He kissed the edge of your jaw. “That’s my girl.”
And then softer, barely a breath:
“I love you when you’re a brat… but I live for when you fall apart in my arms.”
He tightened his hold, letting his fingers tangle with yours, your breath finally syncing with his.
And as your eyes drifted closed, he started humming.
He hummed something soft and familiar, voice low and warm, like a lullaby only meant for you. His hand stroked your back slowly, his lips resting in your hair, and the words eventually slipped out between his breaths.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you. I love you.”
Over and over. As if saying it enough times would thread it into your skin. As if it could become the rhythm of your sleep, the pulse beneath your dreams.
You’d been ruined, yes.
But here, in his arms, you’d also been worshiped. Loved so fiercely, so completely, that not even the marks left behind could feel like anything but sacred.
You realized: Jake didn’t just ruin you. He rebuilt you in the aftermath - piece by piece, with every soft murmur, every kiss, every fierce touch that said: you’re mine, and I’ll never stop showing you.
And as you slipped under, safe and whole, you heard him one last time-
“You’re mine. You’re home.”
.
.
.
.
AN: If you made it here, thank you for reading! 💜
I don’t know about you, but the image of Jake Kiszka getting face to face with me and pointing to his cheek while saying “give me some sugar” sent my spiral into oblivion 😵💫
Characters: Jake Kiszka x Fem!reader
Word count: 2k
Warnings: Smut. Sex. Penetrative sex. Oral sex (f receiving). Fluff. So much tooth rotting fluff. Pregnancy. Angst. (as always, let me know if I missed anything so I can add it.)
A/N: Difficulty sleeping results in 4am story writing. I hope you enjoy!
It was only supposed to be that one night. He made that clear. I agreed, because I didn't know him at all, just his name and the feel of his body against mine. He was a sailor, making a stop for a short time before continuing on his way.
I don't know why he chose me. I wasn’t one of those women at the port waiting for sailors to sleep with. We bumped into each other on the street. He caught me before I hit the ground, guiding me back up with his arm wrapped around my back. I could feel his body heat radiating through the half buttoned shirt. He smiled down at me, chuckling as he apologized for not paying attention to where he was going.
The sun was beginning to set, casting the warmest glow across his face. “I’m Jacob,” He told me, holding out his hand for me to shake.
“Y/N.” I told him, shaking his hand.
“Y/N…” He pondered on my name as if he were tasting a new bottle of wine. “Pretty.” He’d say with a smile.
He had asked if I was busy tonight. I could have lied and said ‘yes’, but something in his eyes made me tell him ‘no’. Something drew me to him, something I couldn't resist. I knew of the tales of sirens. Was he mine? At that moment though, I didn't care. He was leaving soon anyway. That’s what sailors do. I made the bold choice to invite him back to my place.
We had barely made it through the door before his lips were pressed against my neck, kissing and sucking. His lips were so soft and they felt so good. He was skilled at removing the few layers of clothing I had on. He knew his way around which indicated to me that he’s done something like more than once. I didn't care, he wasn't staying.
I laid there in bed, letting him roam my body with his lips and his hands touch me wherever he wanted. His hands weren't soft like his lips. They were tough and calloused. As expected. Though they were soft, they were gentle. He used them in a way that made me feel safe, comfortable. He never used them roughly, even though I told him he could. I saw the glimmer of mischief in his eyes but he rejected. Instead he continued treating me like I was the greatest prize he had ever won. A delicate one at that.
His name slipped from my tongue so easily as he brought me to the edge..twice. His lips were soft but his tongue was skillful. He never used his fingers, which was different from the other lovers I’ve been with. It didn't matter to me though, because he made up for it with other means.
He was still gentle as he entered me fully. He wasn’t large but he was definitely bigger than the others. I hated to compare him to them, but I couldn't help it. He was better and he definitely set the bar too high.
Once we both got adjusted and more acquainted with each other, he started thrusting his hips. Gentle at first until I told him that if he felt the need to, he could use a little more force. At first he hesitated but then he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Okay”. His hands went from gentle to slightly rough, holding me firmly in place as he pounded himself inside of me. He thoroughly enjoyed it, having found the perfect pace. I met my bliss before he did, swiftly pulling out and spilling all over my stomach.
He wasn't done. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted more.
The night was still young. So why not?
I asked him what he wanted to do next. His gaze traveled to the vanity. “As much as I enjoy fucking a woman from behind, I enjoy watching your face as I make you unravel.” He says it close to my face, sending shivers down my body. At that moment, I was glad I lived alone.
He positioned me the way he wanted me in front of the mirror, holding my hips in place. He got both things he enjoyed at the price of one. His hands wrapped around my hips once more as he pushed himself inside of me. I was already used to him so he didn't waste a second getting straight to it. Our eyes locked in the mirror for the duration until I could no longer keep my eyes focused. My vision blurred as my body gave in again to the intense wave of pleasure. I could feel his warmth spill on my back as he finished himself.
He wiped both of us clean with a cloth he found in the bathroom before settling into bed beside me. I had to keep reminding myself that he would be leaving in the morning. He very well could be gone before I even wake.
I wouldn't call it love, but there was definitely something there. I had a feeling he knew it too, because he kept his eyes focused on me as he massaged small circles with his thumb into the curve of my hip. It was as if he were trying to memorize my face.
By morning, I woke up feeling his body pressed up against my back. He hadn't left yet. He must have known that I was awake as his fingers curled into the skin of my hips and he pressed his lower half against my ass. I could feel him, hard and needy.
“Just once more..” He whispered in my ear.
I turned over to lay on my back. I agreed and I could see his eyes light up as a smile tugged at his lips. He didn't fuck me this time. He wasn't rough. Instead he took his time, slow and deliberate. As if he wanted to make this last. His kisses felt full of passion, the complete opposite of the lust last night. Truthfully I was accepting of it. Something inside of me longed for him to stay, though I knew he wouldn't–couldn't.
He had to leave and I had to accept that. So when he finally did, I walked him to the door and we bid our farewells. “I’ll see you soon.” He chose to say instead of ‘goodbye’. I watched him walk away, adjusting the burlap sack of his things on his shoulder. I watched him until he was gone from my line of sight and then I retreated back inside the house.
Six months had come and gone. I had a few lovers after him, but none of us were as good as he was and I found myself searching for that feeling, chasing it, but never finding it. But I knew I had to move on, yet the invisible string kept me tied to him.
It wasn’t until one morning, I was taking a stroll along the shoreline when I saw a figure standing off in the distance. I couldn't quite make out who it could have been until I got closer. That’s when I saw his hair, flowing freely as the ocean breeze blew past. He was turned away, his back to me as he watched the tide come in and go back out.
“I don’t know if this is real or if I’m imagining things.”
I could see his cheeks rise as he smiled. He turned to face me and his smile grew. “Y/N..” My name flowed so easily from his lips, as if it were honey.
“You came back?”
“I couldn't stay away.” He says. “I had finished my job and gone back home.. But all I could ever do was think of you.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets, casting his eyes down to the sand. “I thought it was a one time thing.. That’s all I wanted it to be.. But every woman I was with when I arrived back home,” He sighs. “None of them were you… I-I don’t know if you’ve been with other men, or currently are, but I understand if this feeling isn’t mutual..”
“I will be honest with you, Jacob,” I say as I take a step closer to him. “I have been with other men, just as you were with other women.. None of them were like you and I chased that feeling and I could never find it.”
“Which is why I came back and I don't intend on leaving.”
“Jacob, you have a home already.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve learned that my home is here. From the moment I met you all that time ago, my soul found its connection.. You.”
“But your family..”
“I can always write to them.” He says. “But if you’d allow me to, I’d want to make you my family.”
“You don’t know me..” I say. “What if, as you do get to know me, you decide that you do not love me?”
“Impossible.” He stepped up to me and reached his hand to hold the side of my face. “I may sound dramatic, but I will love you until my last dying breath.”
Again we never made it through the door before he was kissing me and tugging at the strings of my dress to untie them. We made love again, slow and deliberate, just as he had before he left prior.
He did in fact make his home here. He wrote to his family often, keeping them informed of his new life. We married a few months after he had come back. He was now my husband and I was his wife. Sure we had our shortcomings, we had arguments, but yet we still came back to each other as if none of it had happened.
A year after we had wed, I bore him a son. It was perfect timing because his family had arrived on a passenger ship for a visit. Turns out, they sold everything to join Jacob here. I knew he was missing his family, so I felt this was a blessing in disguise.
Our family grew from three to four within two years. Another son. Jacob was overjoyed having two boys to raise. They were his pride and joy. That is until our little girl came along just a year after our second son. He still cherished his sons, but there was something different between a father and his daughter. Their bond was unbreakable and she definitely had him wrapped around her finger.
Time went on but our love remained the same. The love making definitely remained the same. He made sure to make time where he’d send the kids off to his parents’ home for the night. He joked about getting me pregnant again. I knew it was a joke because we both agreed that three children was plenty. Still, he fucked me as if he were going to.
As years continued to pass by, and we grew older, our love still held firm. He went before me. I think he knew it was going to happen, so he spent that time constantly reminding me how much he loved me. He held me close in bed that one final time. “We won't be apart for long.” He whispered to me. I knew he was gone after that when I spoke his name and he didn't respond. He looked so peaceful. It was at that moment that I was transported back in time to when we first met.
My time came shortly after. I knew it had because suddenly I wasn’t old anymore and I felt youthful again. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself standing on a beach somewhere, feeling the warmth and the peace. His voice called out to me and I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face. I turned around and there he stood, looking as he did at his young age. He laughed when I barrelled into him, hugging him tightly.
“I told you we wouldn't be apart for long,” He said before kissing me. “Now come on, there’s so much to show you. I think you’ll love it here.”
And with that, he connected our hands and we walked off into what would become our happily ever after.
_____
Want to added to the taglist? Just ask! I'd love to add you! @losfacedevil @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @katuschka @josh-iamyour-mama @sammysstolenbirks @asendingtothestarsasone @hollyco @musicislove3389 @its-interesting-van-kleep @katiegvf @tinydancer40 @gretavangroupie @lizzys-sunflower @fleetingjake @takenbythemadness @godly-sinsx @psychedelectable @dancingcarbon @cheersdannyx2 @piratejtk @katuschka @musicislove3389 @takenbythemadness @wildbluesorbit @hollyco @vintage-heaven @deadzlol
General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / Intense Rivalry and Conflict / Sexual Tension / Emotional Manipulation / Pressure and Anxiety / Family Drama / Alcohol and Marijuana Use / Explicit Sexual Content
Series Summary: In the high-stakes world of professional tennis, you and Jake are rivals forced into an uneasy partnership under the same coach. Your fiery animosity spills over both on and off the court, where biting sarcasm and tense encounters define your relationship. However, as you’re paired for doubles matches and begin climbing the tournament ladder, the line between hate and something far more complicated starts to blur. But the closer you get to your shared goal, the harder it becomes to deny the tension that threatens to upend your careers and personal lives. Will their undeniable chemistry lead to victory—or destroy everything they’ve worked for?
I've loved this story from start to finish! The tension between those two and the game rush kept me on my toes in every chapter. I internally screamed when they finally let their need for each other win. And that ending... beautiful! 🔥🫠👏
