smile

@EliijahMalik; Howdy, howdy. I always liked that word. Heh, hi, I'm Eli. I'm 20, twin to mister Zayn Malik himself, and I love photography. Pose for me?

[4gifs]

[theycallmemaliik]

Me and Zayn.

[zaynsxo]

[littlegreygust-blog]

[his frown deepens further as Eli snarls about who Grey assumes to be his father, and shifts a little, pulling the boy closer and squeezing the shoulder opposite him. He wishes so badly that he could say that everything was going to be alright, but he wasn’t inside of Eli’s mind, he didn’t know what was happening with Brayden and he couldn’t promise something like that. So instead, he nodded slowly] Don’t thank me. [his voice was quiet, but then grew] Look, I … I don’t know what’s going on with you and Brayden and I won’t ask, but … I really just think you need a break from everyone, and everything. Don’t give up on this school just yet. Apply to other magazines, other companies, anything that interests you, be single for a while. [he bites his lip] I’m sorry that it feels like you’re drowning, but that might be the way to bring you up for air.

[theycallmemaliik]

[despite everything, Eli had been hearing the same advice--perhaps worded differently, but him standing alone seemed to be the only solution. He hated blaming Brayden, especially when he'd come into their relationship knowing fully what to expect] Yeah.. yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.. I don't usually like this whole self-pity thing. [maybe it wasn't the wholly right answer as far as their discussion went, but he knew it was what Grey probably wanted to hear. Wiping wearily at his eyes, he silently weighs all his options, fingers migrating up through messy black locks] But.. [he sighs, voice quieting] this might sound bad, but I don't really know how to be alone.

[brayden-tomlinson]

Sorry.

[theycallmemaliik]

Don't be. Just wish I'd done more.

[queen-tommow-blog]

Is everything still shit, or?

[theycallmemaliik]

It could always be worse.

[brayden-tomlinson]

You can count on me without me getting worse. Pressure doesn’t freak me out. Stress doesnt lead me to drugs. Just because something’s upsetting you doesn’t mean I’ll turn to them or some shit. I just wish you felt like you could come to me about stuff, like I always thought I could with you.

I relapsed because I was alone and upset.

[theycallmemaliik]

No, but this is what happens when I get upset, Brayden. This whole thing with your relapse was my fault. You need to get better otherwise I know this'll just keep happening! I'm not mad at you about it, I just have a lot on my mind and it scares me even more when you do this. What if you OD and wind up in a ditch on the side of the motorway somewhere? I think about this stuff all the bloody time.

[yozaynie-deactivated20130831]

…Because.

[theycallmemaliik]

Because..?

[brayden-tomlinson]

What I did was pretty shit.

[theycallmemaliik]

Bray, I knew what I was getting into when I got with you. I knew about your drugs before most everybody else did, remember? Maybe I'm just stupid and cliche, but I really wanted to help you, and I still do.. 'S just times like these I wish you w-weren't.. like that.. and I could count on you without being afraid of you becoming worse. You aren't a bad boyfriend. You're just.. you.

[yozaynie-deactivated20130831]

Hai… Wait, that is how you say yes, right?

[theycallmemaliik]

Why would you do that?

[littlegreygust-blog]

[frowns deeply as Elijah continued to speak, blinking back his own tears as he listened to the boy pour his heart out. He doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t know what to say, what to do to make the situation better and somewhere deep down he knows that cutting him off and pressing or trying to understand or even trying to prove him wrong again would only frustrate Eli further, so he keeps his mouth shut and lets him vent, silently reaching over and placing a hand firmly on the small of his back as means of comfort] Don’t. [his voice was scratchy, nearly silent] Don’t say you’re sorry, because you shouldn’t be sorry about something like that. [he swallows again] I won’t … what happens between you and your parents is none of my business, I know that, and I might be stepping out of line here but your father needs to step back and figure out what the hell he’s doing because whatever it is he sure as hell isn’t doing it right if one of his sons feels the way you do. [his face hardens] That’snot parenting, is favoritism through fame and if he was smart he’d know that that’s no way to be a proper father. [bites his lip] Please, Eli. Don’t let him or anyone get you down, ever, because if they can’t see what an incredible person you are, they’re not worth your time. That’s something I can promise. That’s something I know.

[theycallmemaliik]

[wordlessly, he leans into Grey, quietly comforted just by the presence of another, someone who didn't expect anything of him. Admittedly, it was a nice change, one he hadn't even realized he'd missed until he experienced it again] Oh, I think I could write an entire book on Yaser Malik. [he spat bitterly, face contorting in obvious disgust. Quieting for a while, he draws in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out in a slow sigh, eyes slipping shut] It's just this 'what now?' thing that's terrifying. Honestly, what do I do now? Do I drop out? I never thought about what to do if this didn't go through. And then there's Brayden and all that's going on with him.. I feel like I'm drowning. [biting his lip, he looks out over Isis again, voice softening] Thanks, though, Grey.. All this.. It means a lot to me. 

[brayden-tomlinson]

For being a shit boyfriend? You’re welcome.

[theycallmemaliik]

You're not, Brayden. Stop it.

[yozaynie-deactivated20130831]

Fancy dish name for blowfish.

[theycallmemaliik]

The poisonous fish?

[brayden-tomlinson]

Okay…fine.

[theycallmemaliik]

Just.. Thanks.

[yozaynie-deactivated20130831]

Well, Rome wasn’t built in a day. We’re back already, but it was fun; the Disneyland there is amazing. Oh, and I got to eat Fugu and the best part is that I didn’t die!

[theycallmemaliik]

Fugu?

[littlegreygust-blog]

[lights his own cigarette as Eli starts to talk, not following the boy’s line of sight but instead staring at the side of his face, of his unfocused eyes, not trying to grab his attention but to try and understand what might have been going on through his mind; then, he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach as he took the crumpled piece of paper into his hands] Eli … [it came out as a whisper, mumbled around the cigarette, his eyebrows drawing together as he read through the rejection over and over again, trying to mentally rearrange the words into something positive and nearly cursing in frustration when they refused to budge, the harsh reality, sitting there in black and white, taunting him] … Screw them. [he shook his head roughly, resisting the urge to toss the paper over the balcony and instead snatching the cigarette from his mouth and crushing it over the single line of rejection, watching as the ash smeared hotly over the words] Okay? They don’t know what they’re missing, Eli, they’re overrated idiots. [looks up] You are so much more than just someone’s shoulder to cry on and person to fall back on, you have to know that by now. [swallows thickly] Look at how many people love you, and that love your work. You’re brilliant, Eli. You have to know that.

[theycallmemaliik]

[the faint sound of crumbling ash and the brief flare of crimson from the tip of the extinguished cigarette is what initially drew his attention, and all he could really do for those few short seconds that seemed to drag on for an eternity is stare, silently mesmerized by that streak of black just beneath the words 'Dear, Elijah,'. Grey's voice cut through the blackness, but slowly his head begins to shake somberly back and forth] But this... this was all I wanted. From the second I picked up my camera, I knew I wanted to make a difference in the world, even if people only knew me as a copyright stamp on the bottom of some photograph. I don't even know why I'm here anymore! I don't need a bloody degree anymore than an artist needs one to paint or a singer to sing. No.. No. [his voice darkens] I knew why I'm here. My parents. My own father won't even look at me anymore because of the path I chose, because I'll never be Zayn, and I know I'll never be as successful as him, and I'm okay with that, but if I'd gotten this internship.. If I'd made something out of this.. [figures he's simply rambling by now and quiets, sitting back again in his seat] Sorry. 

[brayden-tomlinson]

I want you to be able to tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been there for me all the time. I should at least return the favor.

[theycallmemaliik]

I just.. I really don't wanna talk about it right now, okay, Brayden?

[yozaynie-deactivated20130831]

Maybe that’s because you’ve never tried? I’m not always right, though, and you don’t have to listen to anything I said. I’m just going off personal experience. It’s your choice, your life. You do what you feel you need to do. And always remember if you wanna talk, watch a film, or just laugh at me while I try to play Just Dance, I’m always in my room.

[theycallmemaliik]

Yeah, I don't know. I've just got a lot of stuff to think about. How's Japan?