Things Overheard at Camp

Things campers say. Things staff say. Things the wildlife probably wish they could say. Submissions always welcome.

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Overheard in a conference keynote…

“At some point in the summer, counselors will need to clean up camper vomit. This is phenomenal practice for college.”

[deer-knight]

me, to the kids i worked with last week: welcome to medieval camp everyone! can anyone think of any fun medieval activities we might do here at camp this week?

kid: well, they used to do this thing where they would take your body and make it into four pieces and i think it was called quartering.

me: that’s called torture! we will not in fact be participating in torture this week! …anyone else?

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

9 year old: “You haven’t eaten your Oreos yet!”

Director: “I haven’t finished my dinner yet.”

9 year old: “This is camp—there are no rules!”

Director: “Well if you insist.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

12 year old: “A mosquito bit me on the butt and I’m NOT happy about it.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Camper: “Can I use that porta potty over there?”

Camper parent: “Yes. It even has hand sanitizer in it. So you know what that means…it smells like tequila!”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Staff 1: “Your hair is so cute! Why don’t you ever wear it down?”

Staff 2: “I literally look like Lord Farquaad right now.”

[girl-scout-camp]

Child: *glances at the fire’s ashes*

Child: “oh hey grandma’s here”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Staff 1: “This fork only has three prongs.”

Staff 2: “That makes it a trident!”

Staff 1: “…I was going to say it’s a threek…”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

At the end of week debrief when prompted “What did you learn this week?”…

Staff member: “I learned all about high ropes activities. Specifically, that I’m afraid of heights and have trust issues.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

7 year old camper to counselor: “Can I speak to your manager?”

Counselor: “What for?!”

7 year old: “We didn’t sing the underwear song!”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Camper 1 *singing*: 🎶 “I’m so excited to showerrr!” 🎶

Camper 2: “‘Shower’ is a blessing word for me.

Camper 1 *still singing*: 🎶 “I haven’t showered since Tuesday and then I went in the lake and horseback riding and I’m sooooo dirttttyyyyy and now I get to showerrrrrrrrrrr.” 🎶

Staff: “We need to send that one to a recording studio.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

7 year old: “I’m kind of missing my parents right now.”

Other 7 year old: “I literally already forgot I even had parents until you said that.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

7 year old, super casually: “Those are second class cabins.”

Staff: “Excuse me, what?”

7 year old: “I read a lot about the Titanic and they had first class, second class, and third class. And those cabins are definitely second class.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Assistant Director to Camp Director: “Oh, PS—should I be concerned that you keep a knife in your sleeping bag?”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

A brief summary of questions asked by the children at camp open house:

Do I get to go swimming?

What happens if I throw up?

What food do we eat at camp?

Which way is north?

What kind of suitcase should I bring?

Can I bring my iPad?

Is that the lake?

Do you have a credit card?

Where can I go hiking?

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Q: What is your favorite part of camp?

A: “Being surrounded by bugs reminds you that you’re not really at the top of the pyramid. It’s humanizing for so many people to be freaked out by bugs…except for the Australian counselors. And that’s why they terrify me.”

[thingsoverheardatcamp]

Camper: “What does your tattoo say?”

Lifeguard: “‘I refuse to sink.’”

Camper: “Oh, so you’re basically a pool noodle.”

…and then she just swam away.