Things Walt Wolfram Says

spoken words from our favorite linguist

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"That's the difference between you and Erik. You see a bird, and he sees a specific bird." - Walt

Walt on the difference between you and ERT

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"He's on that show, Wait Wait Don't Listen" - Walt

Walt on NPR

[thingswaltwolframsays]

Amy: Can the ass-intensifier go in the predicate? e.g. "this interview is long-ass" Walt: Yes, but then again, my ass is pretty expansive.

Walt on the intensity of ass-intensifiers.

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"I love me some BJs!

Walt on his favorite warehouse membership store

[thingswaltwolframsays]

Who turned the light on?" "I did because you said it was like death in here." "Yeah, I was feeling comfortable.

Walt on turning on the lights

[thingswaltwolframsays]

When I die, I want you to bury me under this couch.

-Walt on being a chair

[thingswaltwolframsays]

Does anyone know diddly? Well here comes squat!

Walt on Pedagogy

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"Today you will learn because this is the shit that's happening in the world."

-Walt on real life

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"I volunteered us for LAVIS ten years ago when I gave the plenary because I didn't know how to end my talk. I figured I'd be dead by now.

Walt on death

[thingswaltwolframsays]

"That's really retroflex. That baby's curled!"

Walt on babies

[thingswaltwolframsays]

There is something about putting beans up your nose

Walt,  telling kids not to put raisins in their noses, which results in them immediately putting raisins in their noses.

[thingswaltwolframsays]

“I was born…  a black man.

Walt on his birth

[thingswaltwolframsays]

“You can’t write ‘cleavage,’ dude!

Walt on cleavage.

[thingswaltwolframsays]

That's the thing about class, I never really know what I'm going to talk about

Walt  on class

[thingswaltwolframsays]

Though his influence obviously extends way beyond us students, I wanted to start the discussion among this group as you all are familiar with the Wolframian paradox of craving being the center of attention while simultaneously being uncomfortable with being honored.

-Jeff Reaser on Walt

[thingswaltwolframsays]

Erik ate all of my nuts!

-Walt on hunger

[thingswaltwolframsays]

*runs into Walt in the hall* Walt: “Hello, young gentleman.” Me: “Oh, I’ve been promoted from BOY!” Walt: “Well, that happens sometimes, boy.”

— unsustainableoptimism