don't open this

[mournfulroses]

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Trapeze: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1947-1955

[wetheurban]

I love you when you’re grieving.

I love you when you’re sad.

I love you when you’re unlearning.

I love you when you’re overwhelmed.

I love you when you don’t know what’s next.

I love you when you can’t be your best.

I love you exactly as you are.

[thirteenblueseas]

There is a particular kind of grief

that comes from surviving

the same person

more than once.

The first wound

belongs to them.

The second

is born from believing

they returned

to heal it.

You traced your fingerprints

over scars

you were still creating.

And somehow,

I apologized

for bleeding.

I carried your storms

like they had my name on them.

I watered every part of you

that insisted

nothing beautiful

could ever grow.

Then one day

you looked at the garden

I built with my own hands

and walked away

as if it had always belonged to you.

Do you know

what haunts me?

Not that you hurt me.

But that I made myself softer

every time you did.

I became gentler

with the hands

that kept closing into fists.

I loved you

like someone trying

to prove

that enough mercy

could rewrite another person’s nature.

It can’t.

Mercy cannot teach someone

to treasure

what they only know

how to consume.

A

[thirteenblueseas]

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[wetheurban]

May you heal so deeply that you remember what it feels like to be excited about your future, your creativity, and your life.

[thirteenblueseas]

[love-romance-relationships]

[thirteenblueseas]

[thirteenblueseas]

[wetheurban]

Being wanted and being valued are two very different things.

[thirteenblueseas]