This Isn’t Normal! Incorrect Quotes

[thisisntcorrectquotes]

Sami: I hear you, I hear you but consider

*Hands Anderson a piece of paper*

Anderson: This just says “I do what I Want.”

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Anderson: I’m having a bad day

Lily: I’M ABOUT TO MAKE IT EVEN WORSE

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Anderson, walking inside Cheese and Tobert’s apartment: Hey, I wanted to talk to you about some campaign specifics and-

Anderson: why are you drinking coffee out of a measuring cup?

Tobert: Cheese got anxious and reorganized the kitchen again.

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Rose: I think I’m in love with Anderson

Atticus: Anderson? As in my brother?

Rose: Yes, thoughts?

Atticus: and prayers, Jesus Christ.

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*Cheese texting Tobert*

Cheese: Hey do you know if Anderson and his family have any allergies?

Tobert: sunflower oil and dog hair

Tobert: wait why

Cheese: I accidentally made 200 cookies and figured I could at least share

Tobert: WHA-

Tobert: How do you Accidentally make 200 cookies!?

Cheese: I was stress baking and the stress kept coming and so I kept baking and all of a sudden there were to many cookies and something NEW to stress out about

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Cornelius: I don’t think a therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during a first session, but here we are!

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*During the Sandland Arc*

Cornelius: wait. Did you just flirt with me?

Nancy: I have been for the last three years, thanks for noticing!

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Atticus: do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off, even at little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking? 

Phoebe: I think that’s called sensory overload? It’s really common in people with anxiety.

Cornelius: It can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or even dehydration. 

Atticus: Thanks, I thought I was just a bitch.

[thisisntcorrectquotes]

Cornelius: Why ‘Live Laugh Love’ when you can “Procrastinate Yearn Overthink”

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Phoebe: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Atticus: What the hell Phoebe?

Phoebe: Oh sorry, my bad

Phoebe, whispering: Do you wanna help me commit arson later?

Atticus, whispering: Of course text me the time.

[thisisntcorrectquotes]

Cornelius: if you ever need anything, I’m available 24/6

Phoebe: Don’t you mean 24/7?

Cornelius: No, Saturdays are for date night with Nancy.

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Anderson: What’re you doing?

Teenage Boo: Rebellion

Anderson: Fuck yeah, stick it to the old people.

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Adam: Were having a moment aren’t we?

Phoebe: if by “a moment” you mean me not wanting to strangle you since the first time we met, then I guess we are.

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Atticus: I made a map of all the demonic activities in Sinsabaugh

*steps to the side revealing a map filled with pins*

Atticus: There’s so much why does anyone live here?

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Adam: Don’t ask me what I’m going on about, I don’t know okay? I’m just the vessel, the message has been gifted. I’ve moved on

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Nancy: You’re not in any pain are you?

Cornelius: I’m fine.

Cornelius: I mean, I’m fine physically but emotionally I’ve lost all grip on reality.

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Atticus: Do you guys ever get so tired you start to see The Spiders?

Phoebe: Me, after I’ve taken seventeen Benadryl and start seeing The Hat Man.

Cornelius: the WHAT?

Phoebe: oh, so suddenly this isn’t a safe space?