Nina @thisisshemsnina-blog - Tumblr Blog

Literally every single day I see “LGBTQ” media call a bi person “an advocate for LGBT rights” or “LGBT” or “gay/a lesbian”. No matter how many times they get contacted about exactly that.

Like. Y’all need to hire someone to specifically check for this because it’s every. fucking. day.

bi-trans-alliance

shout out to:

-bisexual nonbinary folk

-bisexual trans women

-bisexual trans men

You are not alone. Keep being awesome! 💖💜💙

bideas-blog1

Shout out to bi people who are attracted to all genders ✨

Shout out to bi people who are constantly told bi means two and they “should actually” identify as pan ✨

Shout out to bi people who have struggled to find the correct label ✨

Shout ✨ out ✨ to ✨ bi ✨ people

bi-trans-alliance

shout out to:

-bisexual nonbinary folk

-bisexual trans women

-bisexual trans men

You are not alone. Keep being awesome! 💖💜💙

softcore-revolutionary

@ bi and pan girls, you’re allowed to openly express attraction towards men if you’re attracted to men. It doesn’t take away from your sexuality. It doesn’t water down your gayness. You don’t have to pretend to be a lesbian, being bi is enough.

fatimagic

“what is this heterosexual mess”

HALSEY IS OPENLY BI YOU STUPID FUCKING BIPHOBIC ASSHOLES.

just because she’s attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean she has to express that in each and every video. the entire song “strangers” is about her being open with her experiences with women. she’s kissed lauren while performing the song live multiple times. just because we see her with her male love interest in the video doesn’t make her any less bi/queer.

first rita ora and now this. can people stop fucking policing and erasing the self-expression of bpq women?

like…apparently it was fine when janelle monae came out as pansexual because her only love interest in dirty computer was another woman. but the minute a bpq woman expresses an ~unconventional~ attraction to girls, or any attraction at all to other genders, she’s labeled a “heterosexual mess.”

okay. i see you.

bi-trans-alliance

I see a lot of posts saying bisexuality has only recently been ‘redefined’ to include nonbinary folk, so I want to be clear:

The bi community has been inclusive of trans-including nonbinary-people for decades.

Bi organizations have defined bisexuality as attraction to more than one gender or attraction to the same and other genders since at least the 90s, well before mainstream society (and many parts of cis gay society) began to even consider that trans people might be anything other than, at best, a punchline.

From the Bisexual Manifesto, published in 1990 in the bi magazine Anything That Moves:

“Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have “two” sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”

Bisexuality has been inclusive of nonbinary people for decades.

The idea that it hasn’t been is a myth, created by a misinformation campaign starting in the late 2000s. We were constantly harassed for our ‘transphobic’ sexuality, online and off. This was even encouraged by major ‘LGBTQ’ orgs. It lead to many bi activists quitting and uncountable suicide attempts within the community. An already largely-closeted community was constantly silenced, supposedly in the name of ‘trans inclusion’, by people, usually cis, who just wanted an excuse to hate us and seem ‘progressive’.

The myth also comes from the fact so-called ‘LGBTQ’ orgs, who were and are mostly run by cis gay and straight folk, have only recently begun to update their definitions. Until recently, these orgs constantly excluded bi and trans folk, in name and in deed, often actively encouraging discrimination.

But, since these orgs are now ‘LGBTQ’ and, in fairness, have started to include bi and trans folk more, they are assumed to have always been ‘the voice of the LGBTQ community’. This is not the case. They ignored bi activists for years and even now often just tokenize us.

tl;dr Bisexuals have been inclusive of nonbinary people for decades, and many of us are nonbinary. It’s just that now, more people are listening to us.

bi-trans-alliance

@profeminist a history on how claiming ‘bi is only two genders’ is extremely biphobic and especially harms bi trans folk

stilesisbiles

tbh I feel like bisexuality is going to die out due to constant and deliberate misinformation about what it means.

Every time I think of that I get sick to my stomach, knowing that bisexuality might never be truly accepted and will probably just die out.

And no, accepting other labels but bullying bisexuals into killing themselves or staying closeted until bisexuality is ‘eliminated’ as so many have told me to my face is their goal is not accepting bisexuality.

But no one seems to understand why that upsets me. Everyone just lectures me on how I’m not allowed to be upset about it. And I’m tired of no one getting it. I’m tired of constantly being told to just shut up and be grateful bisexuality is even talked about the tiny amount that it is (and often incorrectly…if they talk about it AT ALL, even spreading misinformation that it’s ‘transphobic’ and ‘not inclusive’ I’m supposed to bow at their feet and act grateful).

I’m tired of feeling like I’m alone in feeling this, like I’m not allowed to feel it, like I should just shut up and be happy as ‘lol it’s just a word, it doesn’t matter, who cares if biphobes deliberately force it out of existence?’

It fucking matters to me. I care. But no one else thinks it’s a big deal, no one seems to listen when I talk about it, and I’m tired of feeling alone.

stilesisbiles

Thanks for the positive messages you’ve sent in response to this ❤️

I still feel…very Off, especially since I had to debate my sexuality with multiple people today (as usual) and I have what’s likely pneumonia, but knowing some people support me means a lot.

stilesisbiles

It’s pride month and people are still telling me I’m ‘wrong’ about my sexuality constantly. I am extremely depressed and already exhausted.

I’m so exhausted, so tired. I’ve been waking up from night terrors frequently, directly related to this.

Please stop yelling ‘bi means two!’ every time I tell you you’re hurting me. Please stop openly laughing at me being upset.

Just let me live and stop telling me I’m ‘wrong’ about my sexuality. I’m bisexual. No matter how many times you scream at me that I’m ‘wrong’, you can’t change that. So stop trying to.

stilesisbiles

Y’all the white stripe on the trans flag literally is for nonbinary folk, so maybe stop yelling at nonbinary folk that we’re using the ‘wrong’ flag for ourselves.

Also the trans flag was inspired by the bi flag, so miss me with your ‘bisexuality is transphobic’ bullshit. Here’s more of a history on why that shit is ahistorical.

ellorgast

If somebody tells you how they self-identify, it’s not your place to tell them they’re wrong.

A few weeks ago, I saw somebody respond to a personal comic about being bisexual and nonbinary with “but aren’t they actually pan?” And a few days ago, I saw an almost identical comment on a list of celebrities who have come out as bi. These seemed to be well-meaning people who were genuinely concerned about misidentification and erasure (one of them actually saying that it was pan erasure for a NB person to call themselves bisexual). But they were saying this in reference to real people’s own self-identification, not in reference to other people mislabeling them.

A person’s reasons for identifying as bi or pan are extremely personal and nuanced. To an outside observer, bi and pan folks may appear indistinguishable, but that does not mean the distinction is not meaningful or valid to us who are bi or pan, and that we do not have the right to choose for ourselves which fits us best.

And if you think that the way somebody identifies doesn’t fit the definition that you read on a post somewhere? Those definitions are over-simplified for your sake. They’re so that you have some better understanding of what bisexuality and pansexuality mean. And those definitions are constantly shifting and being revised and rewritten, because how we understand and define ourselves is an ongoing conversation. They’re not meant to box us into one label or another based on some vague wording. They are descriptive, not prescriptive.

People are not fictional characters whose sexualities we can speculate on based on what we can observe. If somebody says what they are, you don’t squabble with them. And if your understanding of the difference between bi and pan boils down to “bi means two, so only pansexuals are attracted to NB people,” then you are wrong, and the definition you’re working from is harmful to everyone involved.

bi-trans-alliance

Since it’s 2018 and y’all still want to scream ‘bi means two!’ constantly, here’s a word you should learn the definition of: etymological fallacy.

Bisexuality=attraction to more than one gender.

Here’s a post with more on that, with multiple links to actual bi orgs, many that have been around for decades.

No, that doesn’t ‘make pan and ply meaningless’ any more than there being over 50 words like ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ that mean similar but not exactly the same things make those words ‘meaningless’.

Bisexuality has been inclusive of nonbinary folk since at least the 90s. Read the 1990 Bisexual Manifesto, which contains the line “In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”

Here’s a video by a bi trans person on how bisexuality is inclusive of nonbinary genders. Here’s a history on how claiming bi means ‘two genders’ has been used to harass bi folk, especially bi trans folk.

Personal note: As a nonbinary bi person, I felt included in the bi community long before the rest of society even considered any trans folk at all were more than just ‘monsters.’ Also, the trans flag was literally inspired by the bi flag.

My best friend is bi and nonbinary. So is my life partner. So is my cousin. So are countless people I love. When you tell us we’re ‘wrong’ about our sexuality, you aren’t ‘helping’ nonbinary folk, and you aren’t ‘helping’ pan and ply folk, as you don’t need to tear down a sexuality to uplift another, and doing so is completely counter productive. Solidarity > bullshit infighting.

Respect what label(s) a person uses for themself, if any. I’m bisexual and nonbinary, and telling me I’m not over and over won’t change that.

bi-trans-alliance

“But the type of biphobia that I personally encounter the most in my nice queer little bubble is people saying that bisexuality is transphobic…bisexuality is not transphobic…there are tons of inclusive definitions of bisexuality, whether you definite it as being attracted to two or more genders, or being attracted to people of the same gender as yours as well as people of different genders than yours. ”

-Jackson Bird (video)

bi-trans-alliance

-Jackson Bird (video)

stilesisbiles

Biphobes yelling ‘bi means two!’ like:

Me, a bisexual:

intersectionalfeministkilljoy

I️ might get hate for this, but honestly, I️ get a little sick of the LGBTQ+ “community” sometimes. Someone please tell me why cis gays and lesbians are allowed to be aphobic, biphobic, transphobic, etc. but the communities being affected by their prejudice are not allowed to call them out on it.

I️ was 12 years old when I️ came out as bi. At first, online communities made me feel better. They showed me that there were a lot of great, happy, and successful queer people. That was until I️ found so much negativity that made me feel unwelcome in this community. I️ felt like I️ didn’t belong with the majority and that I️ didn’t belong with this minority either. So, in the end, do you know who I️ had? No one. I️ was in middle school. I️ was insecure and scared and I️ had to feel alone and hated too.

So, honestly? Screw your hate, your exclusion, your prejudice, your division, your discourse, whatever you wanna call it. It affects real lives and real people. It is not just discourse. No ones identity or right to exist is just discourse. Inclusion is vital to so many people, so maybe the LGBTQ+ community should start acting more like one rather than being a hierarchy dominated by white gays and lesbians.

facts-about-bisexuality

Fact: Bisexuality isn’t limited to women. There are bisexual nonbinary people and bisexual men. The stigma attached to bi men needs to go: you are no less of a man if you are bisexual.

jewishmagpie-deactivated2018092

The reason that it seems like so many bisexuals end up in opposite-sexed relationships, generally speaking, has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that there are more people out there attracted to just the opposite sex than the same sex, or both.

Let’s play with some hypothetical, overly simplistic – and LGB exaggerated – maths.

Let’s say that Bisexual Barry has a list of 100 men and women that he could potentially date.

80 are heterosexual, 10 are homosexual and 10 are bisexual. 50 men, 50 women, where each sexuality is equally represented.

Since 40 of those men are heterosexual, now Bisexual Barry only has 60 people left that might be interested in him.

5 of those women are lesbians, so now Bisexual Barry only has 55 people left.

Out of those 55 hypothetical people, Bisexual Barry now ends up with:

40 heterosexual women

5 bisexual women

5 bisexual men

5 homosexual men

So Bisexual Barry only has an 18% chance of ending up with a man, and an 82% chance of ending up with a woman according to this overly simplistic set of maths.

That’s before checking for compatibility through looks, ambitions, personality and seeing if the other person is just as interested, too. That’s also pretending that none of those original 100 people are biphobic.

Bisexuals don’t automatically end up in opposite-sex relationships for “privilege” or any other of that biphobic nonsense.

Most of the time, it’s basic maths.

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