This Is Why I'm Single NYC

I created this Tumblr for two reasons and two reasons only. 1. So I have somewhere to direct all my non-New York friends who repeatedly ask me how the dating scene in "NYC" is... Answer: bleak. 2. These screenshots are chewing up my iPhone storage.

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Spot The Difference. 

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My dating life be like... 

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Not meating William would be a huge missed-steak... 

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Hazmat Potter

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READ BETWEEN THE LINES PEOPLE!!!!

NYC finest

Visiting Baku

I am: Confident, Smart, Strong. 

I am not: lazy, boring, fat. 

I will: beat you in chess, buy you a dishwasher, mop the floor.

I will not: betray you, break own promises, do dishes. 

5'10"

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This is Anthony.  Anthony is really into sport. 

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Let's make one thing clear, I'm not really after a guy at all. 

I'm after a dog. 

And if dating a guy who has a dog is what it takes then so be it. 

Soz not soz

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If you think covering yourself with a litter of tiny puppies will make you more attractive to me... You're absolutely right. 

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You may think you're happy. 

But are you as happy as this guy riding his adult-sized inflatable dolphin? 

Probably not. 

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FUCKING NAILED IT!

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6 more words to define Simon:

1. It’s 2. Not 3. Rape 4. It’s 5. Forced 6. Pleasure

#IfLooksCouldKill

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Christoph, 

Lose the beard... IT'S FUCKING TERRIFYING!!!!

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I'm not too sure why Seth feels the need to even be on Tinder, he seems to have no problem picking up chicks.. 

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Things that keep me up at night: imagining all the possible duo Halloween costumes Peter and his brother have worn and will wear in the future. 

Also whether or not the duo costumes will extend to a threesome costume (talk about a creative challenge) if Peter does, indeed, find love on Tinder.. 

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"You can wear my helmet"... but only if you beehive yourself.

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Gee, I don't think I Noah more arrogant guy than this guy..