A Journey From Phat To Pfit @thisphatgurlcan-blog - Tumblr Blog

Cant wait to start

Happy New Year!!!

Ahhh so that’s why!

Adventures in dating

How to start with a heading like that? 🤔

After 4 months of “dating” and by dating I mean texting, sexting, video calling and going over to houses. Not one man wants to date anymore, they go straight for sex. WTF!

I’m not a prude but at least woo me for one date at least, but as soon as I ask for that its like wooosh and they vanish.

Normally I’m very independent and enjoy my own company. However, recently I have been feeling lonely 😞.

The last two men I dated were not born in the Uk, one said I was too fat and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. And the other said he wanted to see other women as he was worried I might not conceive and have kids due to my health.

Any excuse to not be with me. Then they get with someone else. Rejection hurts far too much these days, especially as I’m working hard on myself.

I’ve decided to have a week off the gym over xmas. My current 30 mins gym and 30 mins swim are ok, I’m firming up nicely. However, in the new year I’m really gunna have to get pushing harder. I want a better body by summer, one I can show off. May even have a cheap holiday away somewhere and have a holiday romance. One can dream I suppose.

I’m currently only chatting with one bloke at the minute, and hes hard work. I ask if he thinks we should be exclusive and he comes out with “Well you know what to do”. I’m like, erm, nope no idea, please tell me. And he then continues to say that I should know. Omg why can’t a man take charge ffs!

I think I should just accept that there isn’t a man out there for me anymore. I’ve given it a good try, short of speed dating which makes me cringe. Maybe next year, when I have a banging bod so I can pick and choose rather than scrape the barrel.

This may be my last blog of the year, oh joy! Hope you all have a good one. 🤗

#adventure #dating #mrwrong

When I miss you

I hate that I miss you

And you don’t care.

I hate that I think of you

Every day.

When I miss you I feel so empty

Like you stole a piece of me.

A piece that I could never take back.

I want to forget you but at the same time I dont.

Was it all in my head?

Or am I really that flawed?

Exercise helps, but not as much as I wish it could.

I want to cry

And scream and shout.

I gave you my soul

And you spat it back out.

I am human. I am unique.

You will never find another quite like me.

My friend and unrequited love

I’m hollow and can float high above,

My body and see all the things

We have done.

One day I will smile

One day I will be gone.

#fleetwood mac

living-fitness

thisphatgurlcan-blog

Yup

Why do I still want to fix people?

I decided to take a new class today. One of those Les Mills ones. Body balance.

Got me a mega sweat on.

Normally a workout wouldnt get me to blog but today was something different.

At the end of the session we did a ten minute cool down and meditation. And I went somewhere. Somewhere I haven’t been for a long time.

Ingleborough hill on a bright and breezy day, right on the summit. It was beautiful. I took photos, but can’t find them.

A man I recently dated was there. The one I ended it with because I was feeling more than he was. Originally it was just me and him. Then his son, then his daughter and then his wife.

We were all smiling. We were all happy.

We were all fixed.

I had to hold back my tears. A few came out, but I couldn’t believe how much it affected me.

I’m still a little confused with it all and I dont know how I really feel about it.

My initial thought was, I had helped them, fixed what was broken. Even though I hardly know them, my desire to help them was really strong.

Likely this comes from my thoughts of when my parents split up and how I felt. I dont want their kids to have to live their lives without their parents together.

And I’m gunna leave it there, cos I dont know what else to say.

Other than I really need to move on and find someone else to think about, this will help a great deal.