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i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

jigglypuffsvevo

h0odrich

all I want in my life is peace

tomfordvelvetorchid-deactivated

Hold……..the……queso

bombing

we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere

cybergata

memeufacturing-deactivated20161

me: good morning linda linda, who has backpacked across europe: not nearly as good as the morning that i experienced as i saw the sunrise across Barcelona,

spacebattles

I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”

redfurniture

You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!

roachswallower

Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??

empathy3000

I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong

toolusingmammalgirl

I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy

sigmaleph

I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated

pluspluspangolin

In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances