Be Awesome thanks Movies

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

Wtf : what happened at the end ? (Spoilers)

Yesterday I was talking about the movie Grease, the famous musical. Let's forget the songs because it's part of genre (weird genre, imagine you have to sing any situation of your everyday life! Am I  the only one who finds this weird?)

Let's get to the story. Everything goes well, Olivia Newton John falls in love of the bad boy Travolta, and in order to make him fall in love of her she dresses herself like a rock girl from the sixties. They start dancing and singing the You are the one that I one song, everything goes well until the car scene. Seriously guy? A flying car? Have you seen just one fucking car in your life? Guess what car can't fly. The point is you can't make a car flying in a movie. Films are not reality everybody knows it. The point is all along the films there was no magic trick, no fantasy, no paranormal thing, why did you make this car fly?

When you're watching Back to the future, you know since the beginning that the car can go back in time. When you're watching the fifth element you know that the cars can fly. But in Grease from the beginning to this fucking scene all the cars are on the ground!

I have only two reasons to explain this situation.

First one, the director took a fucking pill before shooting.

The second one, Steven Spielberg was on the next set in the studio and decided to train for the future scene of E.T.

All this stupid topic to make you understand a thing. Since the beginning of my blog, I insist on your entrance but remember to make your exit memorable because it is the last people impression will have about you ! Bye bitches (not good sortie) ! Bye motherfucker (better) !

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

To be a movie guy, live like it

In think that the best way to be a pro is to live like if you are in a movie.

When you wake up, check the alarm clock in order to verify in you’re not stuck in the same day like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Breakfast time ! Breakfast as the Dude : just a white (you can cheat and eat something if you’re a pussy).

going to work, three possibilities:

- Listening to music through your headphones and dance in the street like Jake Gyllenhaal in Demolition (swagg decision!).

- Driving your car with style like De Niro in Taxi Driver.

- Taking a cab, staying silent and staring at the driver like Pacino in The Godfather. (powerfull decision !)

When you will arrive at work. Only one thing to respect: always being efficient but funny. Some names to refer for your comic part: Peter sellers, John Cleese, Steve Martin, ... (and not Kad Merad please!). You could use the humor of the touching and weak Roman Polanski’s characters.

Then after-work at the Cocobongo club as Jim Carrey in The Mask, and I hope you will have Cameron Diaz to dance with you. If you need dancing lessons, i advise you to watch Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder.

Bye and have a nice movie day!

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

The  sequence shot

For my next movie I will shoot the entire short film in one sequence shot. However what is a sequence shot? For you I will give you three levels of comprehension : the dumb one, the smart one and the genius one.

First: the dumb one. 

When you're going to talk about sequence shot, analyze the mental level of your interlocutor. If the guy hasn't invented the warm water, use the basic approach of the sequence shot. The sequence shot is an entire scene or sequence in a single shot : the sequence begins you roll on the camera and the sound and you'll shut it at the end of the sequence.

When the guy is smarter (only if he really is, you could provoke several mental troubles if he thinks too high for his capacities).

You can discuss about sensation provided by this kind of thing. In Cuaron's films it gives you a privilege, a proximity with the characters : there is no filter between the audience and the fiction. In De Palma's, the camera gives you the sensation to create a new character. Many of his sequence shot adopts subjective point of view and makes you feel to embody a fictional character. All the director uses this directing process in their way : feel free to see their bests.

Last approach : genius one. Can be used with intellectual persons or simply to impress girls (the both situations work, but I prefer the second one).

 This approach of the sequence shot is more theoretical and implies notions of aesthetic. If you think about the sequence shot two big deals appear. The first one, the refusal of editing. In deed using the sequence shot implies a big commitment by avoiding editing. Godard used to say there are three films in one, the one from the script, the other from the shooting, and the last from the editing. The second one is about directing. Normally you choose the shot  and you change to another shot to create your movie. Here in only one shot you have all kind of scale of shot. As you have understood, the sequence shot is a big deal not a random film technique.

I fucking love you!

Kiss

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

How did Cannes festival make a shitty selection ?

Everyone has seen the results from the last Cannes Festival, and many people like me (I hope you too) have been disappointed by the last jury choices. So many creative movies were present in the official selection and none has been awarded: such a shame (and I try to keep calm and polite).

Historically this festival has awarded audacious and revolutionary movie such as apocalypse now by Coppola or Scarecrow by Jerry Schatzberg .

For those that hasn't seen this two masterpieces, please stop following my blog now and forever or I would like to propose to you a little recap. Apocalypse now is the best example of commitment for art. The first sequence is the most expressive of the genius of Francis. By overprinting frames and sound, the director introduce the experience of penetrating in the character's mind, idea led by the journey all along the film. Jerry Schatzberg directed a magnificent and moving story questioning the space in the frame and then the role of this two characters in U.S.A. 

This year many different directors were selected as usual but the results could have been better. For instance the last Refn Neon Demon appeared as a real artistic bomb, with an audacious directing and all of this with the intelligence to use the entire medium not only the dialogue. You always have to remember that cinema is not theatre shot. I, Daniel Blake a beautiful story about Daniel's fight against the British social organization. The only problem is if you don't pay attention to the plot the movie is empty, a movie is a script but it also is frame, sound, editing, ...

Same thing with the last Dolan. Dolan is the most overestimated director in the entire world. Everybody seems to be astonished by his films. Come on dude ! Stop kidding ! The most consensual films I have ever seen with only a “deja vu” directing process. Some people will say that mommy was unbelievable. Unbelievable? Amazing? Serious? I prefer unacceptable!

On my opinion, the golden palm needs to quickly  be saved !

P.S.: Here the poster of the movie who had to be awarded in Cannes!

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

Tips for Cannes festival

Last week, I spent my time in the famous Cannes Festival: a festival based only on BE WELL PERCEIVED!

Now you’ve read my blog you know how much I don’t care about it. If you agree with my last sentence I have the evidence that you haven’t read one fucking word of mine! Be well perceived is essential when you’re not famous, it is an art so keep reading you fool! Remember only Emir Kusturica can dress as he wants to make “la montée des marches” in Cannes. Are you an artist or a fucking genius? The answer is NO, so follow my rules.

Rule number one: the dress code, suit at night and shirt all day. Please people who wants to wear a short, Quit my blog now! We are here to look pro and a being pro starts by dressing yourself well.

Rule number two: the way you’re walking. To things to remember. First, walk as you have a Cucumber stuck in your bottom. This is a metaphor, you don’t have to do this with your imaginary power, but if you want to make it concrete: it’s your concern and I don’t want to hear any words about it (good luck). Second thing, when you’re walking you must concentrate all your energy in your balls. Some directors use this technique when they’re directing tough characters.

Now Third rule, the way you must talk. First of all, going to Cannes is a privilege, a gift so remember Uncle Ben’s sentence: “With great power, comes great responsibility”. Before arriving in Cannes make researches about films and directors selected. And if in a discussion your memory is playing tricks on you, fold your eyes to look as interested as Di Caprio in Inception.

When you talk in Cannes festival, try to emphasize the end of your words, it looks more theatrical. Add a little bit of condescendence in the tone of your voice always avoiding having your lips as a chicken ass-hole. If you want to train yourself, the best sentence to use is, with no doubt, “Vous avez pris vos billets pour La Rochelle”.

My lesson ends here. To conclude, if you want to melt away in the masses in Cannes be a prick as 80% of the participants. Cannes festival is not a festival of Cinema, it is a festival to show off (On Uber Application you can take an Uber Copter, True fact). So please be yourself and keep passionate about Cinema and only on it, because films are art and not a meeting of egocentric masturbation.

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

Can I base my Strategy only on Actors Studio method?

Last day, I was invited in a party and as I am a cool person I have talked to many persons and guess about what? Cinema of course.

When you are a doctor, you know that everybody will come to you, soon or later, with their health problems asking of the origins of the new pimple in their back. When you work or simply study in the film industry: same shit. Of course people doesn’t talk about their pimples, it would be creepy but about the basic knowledge of Cinema they have. All happened well, talking to one person to another until the one who drives me crazy because I only swore by one thing. What topic makes me anger: the actors studio method.

Actors studio method was invented by the director Elia Kazan in the sixties. Based on an entire embodiment of the character some actors made it famous by their unbelievable involvement in the building process of their characters. The most known is the preparation of De Niro for Taxi driver. Indeed, Rob (he is a friend) decided to work as a cab driver for a certain time in order to understand the feelings of the main character. Even if this method is famous you must know about it in order to avoid qualifying a simply loss of weight as a process of the actors studio method.

First of all, this method was produced by a Russian director Constantin Stanislavski and then revisited by Lee Strasberg and after Elia Kazan. Second of all, this one of a several method and it is not necessarily the path of the truth. There are several different methods, please keep you inform to avoid being tricked by a person more knowledgeable than you.

Trust me If you want to impress, you can’t only stay to the basics, that’s the same for this topic. If you’re not a pro don’t try to look like it. I don’t understand anything about general accounting, so if I speak with an accountant I won’t show off about its job. Bluffing is an art only Patrick Bruel (and me obviously) can win by bluffing with shitty cards.

To conclude gentlemen don’t try to impress people with a topic that you’re not comfortable with. Work on your weaknesses in order to avoid being a fool, and if you’re not at ease during the discussion remember the old Chinese proverb: you have two hears and only one mouth … so SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN, YOU IDIOT!

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

Shine in movie theatre?

What a great subject to start discussing about Cinema! You will enter in a temple, a sacred place: The screening room. Remember Godard’s Quotes Dude, Cinema is the truth 24 times by second*. So when you enter in a Theatre you must adopt an adequate attitude: be outstanding.

First do not buy popcorn. Eating popcorn is the most unbearable practice in a movie theatre. If you want to look like a “movie guy”, you must pretend being annoyed by all the bothering sounds. So scream against popcorn eaters, and don’t hesitate to turn over and stare at the people who chat (you can fake being patronising. To succeed watch Edward Norton ‘style in Birdman).

The choice of the movie is your call. Please stop to enrich Shitty blockbusters, and support first film director movie. Sometimes it happens, you want to play cool with a girl and you decide that making appears your artistic face could be an advantage in the race of love. You're right and nobody is going to say the opposite. As a movie guy you have to be different than common people. Be strong, don't capitulate for a romantic comedy (never, but if it is the only way that she offers take it, we love Cinema but you still are gentlemen).

Just a tip for the Parisians guy, if you want to set apart from the common people and play it cool like a movie guy I invite you to look around the “Quartier Latin”. There, only little screening room (not as the little screening room in Pigalle) with eclectic movies. Documentaries, old movies, Masterpieces, independent films …

To conclude, seeing a Scorsese movie in La Filmothèque du Quartier Latin must be more enriching and can provide you the golden medal of Cinema given by your friends but also by your … future loving conquest.

*You can also use this quote during a meal or a party, it makes is effect but don’t forget that Brian De Palma said the contrary: Cinema is lying 24 times by second. Remember this in case someone tries to trick you.

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

Defines yourself and your interlocutors.

When you discuss about Cinema, be aware of your position and the expectations that come with it. If you are not related to the film industry, expectations of your audience will be less high; to simplify you can impress people more easily than a guy in a master course in aesthetic of Film. The simply word “aesthetic” implies that you must deliver specific knowledge more specific than: “You know that the expression Old Sport is said 55 times in The Great Gatsby”. 

By the way, flirting with a girl or a boy who likes The Great Gatsby is the only and valid reason to use this anecdote, no extensive use! Trust me fellows, this is and would be the only reason to use it.

Rules to follow before beginning. 

First, you enter and check around, localize your target. Smile (not too much to avoid looking like an idiot), make eye contacts with people (but not insist to avoid being considered as a psycho!); open your ears to define topics of discussion.

 Always remember before starting a conversation, choose an appropriate level. Don’t fly up high to soon. Best example to consider is Sean Bean’s example. When Sean Bean starts in a movie or a Tv show he wants to do it in big steps.

Result? He dies  because of a large arrow shot by Gerard Depardieu disguised in Uruk Hai.

Be yourself and when you are enough confident: let the show begin !

[thoughtfulthoughtsaboutcine-blog]

How becoming a social success thanks to Cinema?

Since the invention of the seventh art (French invention obviously), Cinema has become the most used topic of conversation. Indeed, in your everyday life you will discuss the last movie you have seen more often than the Principe of polyphony by Bakhtine. You don’t know Bakhtine? Don’t worry, you’re just uneducated, but I am not judging you (maybe a little bit now … of course not, I’m kidding … or not). So why don’t you make this most used topic of discussion an asset?

All is in the title my friends: this blog is made for you!

Helping you to be the centre of the attention in a party, succeed in a flirt or simply be known as The “Movie guy”. But as uncle Ben says (not the guy from the rice ad, the real Uncle Ben dude!): “With great power, comes great responsibility”. Talking about Cinema requires knowledge about it, and knowledge is your concern. I’m here to give you tips, directors’ names, concepts, and many other guidelines, but finally you will have to check this information by your own.

So, get your notebooks, open your ears (eyes or mind; I don’t care, do what you want it’s not my business …) and let’s shine bros!