Thoughts.

A blog for my thoughts which may appear as a mess, but then again, that's how thoughts are, aren't they?

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

So since I last posted, months and months have gone by. I am now a week away from graduation and due to leave on my grad trip in just a few hours. To think about how quickly high school has flown by is crazy and it's mostly all a blur. I've done so much and grown a lot as a person over these past 4 years. There were moments when I was curled up in a shell, waiting to leave the people I know and start fresh in uni. But I managed and managed to love my high school experience. I even cried on the last day of classes. It's now time to move on in life. Time to learn more about myself, the world--everything that surrounds me. It's my time to gain more knowledge, travel the world, and have unforgettable experiences

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

I just saw this video and I'm so in awe. These couples are so young and clearly love each other so much. They are all so cute together and it just makes me wish I could be in a relationship like theirs. I'm coming to the final stretch of high school, with only a few months left, and I feel as if I missed my chance of having a cute fluffy romance that these teens have. College relationships are just so much more serious and have a different dynamic and I don't know, I want to have the cliched high school romance. I feel like I'm missing out.

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

I can’t handle the negativity that comes from me when I’m surrounded by some people.  It bothers me so much when people think they are god’s gift to man and the most relevant therefore they get/need to take control of every situation they are put in. It is actually the most irritating thing to know that they think they u are the shit and other people treat them like that to. Just because I’m quiet and more reserved doesn’t mean I’m not relevant. I can guarantee that in life they may think they are successful but the fact that they constantly upset people over their NEED to be the boss will not get them far in the hearts of others. They unintentionally hurt others with their bossiness and stuck up and thinking they’re the mediator when they are causing the problem. People may think I get dramatic and annoyed easily but some people just bother me so much and you know, I stand up for what I BELIEVE IN and usually, it’s not what they do. Naturally, my opinion doesn’t matter but I hope they look back on themselves one day and realize what a shit person they were.

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

7:34 pm | tuesday september 9th | currently babysitting

So it's been a while. 3 months to be exact. I've done a lot in this time and being honest, it was a pretty good summer. I made many new friends, tried out new experiences all alone and you know what? I managed. I thrived. I'm proud of myself. 

Here is a photo I took in late July. I crept onto a nude beach to take a picture of the west side of my city. It's truly beautiful, especially in late afternoon.

 Currently listening to Daylight by 5 Seconds of Summer

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

So last night, I attended the MMVA and I got a wristband so I was quite close to Ed Sheeran and Lorde and the Jenners and a ton of other relevant people. After the show, I went to the exit where a ton of celebrities were exiting from and I saw so many people up close. and I died.

It brought the thrill and want back for meeting my favourites. I don't think people understand the extent of how much I want to meet some people. I don't want a quick hello and a picture or an irrelevant conversation that they won't remember 5 minutes later. I want to be their friends and be somebody they want to keep in touch with. But that's nearly impossible and you have to be super hot and a little older to do that, which I am neither.

Kinda sucks that I have no luck as well.

I just want to be somebody that these people will still be friends with a year after meeting. I want to be relevant to them.

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

It's decided.

I need Cher Horowitz's wardrobe. I mean, not all of it cause some was a bit too quirky for my liking, but c'mon, her style was on point. And the nineties are back in style so why not try to emulate her in my everyday wardrobe? 

It's too bad all the vintage stores are downtown or else I would be shopping everyday trying to recreate Cher's outfits. I mean, I'm glad my parents saved all their old jean jackets, t-shirts, and dresses because my vintage collection has been growing ever since I was young. Thank goodness it's summer because I can actually wear cute vintage outfits without covering them with a bulky winter coat.

Point of this post is that I love vintage and the nineties and Cher Horowitz maybe my fashion inspiration currently. 

(jamming to Love Runs Out by One Republic)

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

I always question why even though I know that procrastination is bad and I shouldn't be doing it, I davka do it anyways. It brings me great stress and not enough sleep and it sucks to not listen to your own mind telling you to stop. I honestly can't help it and I don't know why. It's probably all this social media I'm apart of. I need to just stop, breathe, and disconnect from the internet and electronics for a while. *Disconnected by 5sos starts to play in head* But I know I can't and I know I won't. This post clearly isn't helping matters. Sigh.

[thoughtsbeyondthestarss]

well this is my first post.

don't expect much, I'm not someone who knows how put their thoughts into a nice flowy sentence. I do not have a way with words and though I wish I did , that currently isn't a trait I posses. Oh well.

Currently trying to study for exams while listening to a Sticky Fingers playlist on 8tracks.