my place, my escape

this is MY place. where i will express what i feel. where i will not hold back. where i will let go of what i've held on to for so long. this is the place. where my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and memories will become words. follow if you please. but just a fair warning....this is my place, my escape...i will post whatever the hell i want. express whatever the hell i feel. and be whoever the hell i want to be. WELCOME TO MY LIFE...ENJOY.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

it is useless.

to try to base this huge choice on you.

it is useless.

to hang on to this thread of hope.

you and i will never be.

never.

and as much as it hurts, i must admit the truth.

as much as it hurts.

it is useless.

so as i take this next step is say goodbye.

but fear not.

you will be forever in my heart.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

i am starting to get over you.

i think it's a good thing. 

i hope.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

why am i so emotionally attached?

i feel like i care about certain people more than they do about me.

i don't know why.

it doesn't bother me.

but it does make me think.

what if i was in their shoes and them in mine?

would they feel the same?

i hope.

[iwaslostsoi]

[killthaturge]

[alittlefragile]

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

heartbroken.

for the wrong reasons.

injustice.

i honestly cannot believe this is happening.

i honestly cannot believe you have to go through this.

i don't know what to say

because nothing would make it better.

nothing.

but know that i will stand here beside you at all times.

know that i will be there in the background.

i may not be a huge part of your life

but that doesn't matter.

i will be there.

no matter what.

if you need me...just ask.

[yeahthathappened]

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

you looked happy today.

i loved that.

it may not have been because of me.

in fact, i'm sure of it because of the day it is.

but you looked genuinely happy.

and that makes me happy.

i may not be able to spend the day with you.

or share that happiness.

but if you are happy

i am happy.

i was happy today. 

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

today i realized.

how much i love you.

the fact that i cry for you.

the fact that i feel your stuggles.

the fact that i wish i could do something to fix it.

the fact that i can't do anything about it but i am still willing to try.

today i cried for you.

today i prayed for you.

today i expressed what i felt for you to God.

today i begged that you are happy, that your dreams come true.

today i realized that what i feel for you is more.

more than a simple crush.

more than an infatuation.

today i realized

i truly love you

it's a shame you will never know.

[lovequotesrus]

[audrenamarie]

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

thinking of you.

no matter what. 

i can't get you out of my head.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

i pray for you

every day. every night.

that your dream come true.

that you are happy.

that you are able to achieve all you hope to achieve.

i pray for you.

i will always pray for you.

the power of prayer is incredible.

i will always be here for you.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

it's weird

because when you're around me i think you act differently. you try too hard. i try too hard. what does this mean? to me, it means one thing. hope. hope that perhaps you feel the same way i do. that perhaps you look at me the way i look at you. 

people can say that maybe that's just the way you are, but i know it's not. i have been around you enough to realize that. to realize that you act differently around me. to realize that perhaps in your eyes i am...special.

i hope so.

i hope this is not just another scenario that my brain has convoluted into a reality. 

i just wish we could talk. you & me. no one else. and tell each other how we feel. i wish.

i wish...that my wish comes true. someday.

[thoughtswordsfeelings-blog]

i wonder.

if you feel the way i feel.

if what i'm feeling is also something you feel.

if what i'm hiding is also something you're hiding.

if you think of me as often as i think of you.

if deep down, you also have these thoughts cross your mind.

if we both know that the connection we have is a special one.

if we are meant to be together.

i wonder

if you smile when you read my texts or think of me.

if you struggle to find the will to text me, just like i do.

because you're not sure

of what you feel about me

knowing that our love

could never be.

but miracles happen

and i wonder

will we be a miracle?

i am willing to fight against adversity

it it means being by your side.

i wonder

if you're thinking about me at this very moment.

i wonder.

[asoows-deactivated20130617]