The Not So Secret Life Of Us

Grace. 25. Australia. Student Doula. Mother to Leo and Mother to Maya Step-mother to Josiah Miscarried April 4th 2015 Breastfeed. Baby wear. Bed share. Co-bathe. Don't circumcise. Do vaccinate. Don't practice CIO. I don't care/judge if your parenting style is different to mine.

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E has been hitting the drugs too hard. She just rang me to ask what time she's meant to pick Josiah up from preschool... How can you forget that!?

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Josh and I are separating but he actually moves out next week and I seriously just feel so drained. I don't think I'm ready for it all to be real but it is and ugh.

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It's been a good day! We went to Ruby's for morning tea with some friends, went for a walk and had a lovely lady say "you're doing a good job, acknowledge yourself everyday" though I think she may have thought all 5 kids that were with us were mine haha. Finished off our outing with McDonalds for lunch and now the kids are playing with the water table. Here's hoping they have a nice big nap for me soon 😉

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Life lately

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Yay for replies being back. I might actually start using Tumblr regularly again!

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Happy Easter!! 🐰🐰

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Off to the chiropractor today. I've been having a lot of problems with my upper back involving excruciating pain. I'm being referred to a neurologist but in the mean time I'm seeking any kind of relief possible.

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Today

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I made these 😁

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Cuddled up in bed with my babies and can smell rain for the first time in well over a month ☔️💙

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Today was spent mostly at the hospital :( Leo has croup and a nasty case of it. When he woke this morning he was really struggling to breathe. His little chest was sinking in with every breath, scared the hell out of me so we rushed to the hospital. He was given a big dose of steroids and has been a million times better since! The nurses were so wonderful. One took Leo for a walk to paeds to get some paper and pencils so he had something to do. There was also an old woman there who kept staring at Maya while my mum held her and her daughter ushered mum over. Apparently she say dying snd wanted to say what a beautiful baby she was. Maya grabbed her finger and smiled at her. Maya isn't a huge fan of anyone that isn't Josh or I so it makes me wonder if babies can sense things like death. Who knows but I was glad Maya made her smile.

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Blue eyed princess 💙

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Love his sweet face 💕

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My three loves 😘

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How is this comfy :/

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My best friend dropped this card up for Maya and an adults colouring in book for me. She's so sweet :)

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Maya woke up at 9am yesterday after 11 hours sleep. It took a bit for me to get her to rouse. When she finally did she wouldn't nurse and was really lethargic. I noticed she was warm so I took her temp which was 37.5 and gave her some panadol. I rang my mum and told her and she said because she's lethargic take her to hospital. We came up here and her temp was 36.5, so totally normal. Two hours of waiting later we finally had obs taken again while waiting on the doctor her temp had jumped up to 38.5 which is bad for a two month old. Very quickly things started happening. She had to have a lumbar puncture, a needle into her bladder to withdraw urine and a cannula placed. She has had blood drawn, is on IV antibiotics and just had a chest x-Ray. They are basically testing for everything and treating everything and then we wait for the test results to come back to see what it is. It's been a pretty traumatic experience for all of us. I couldn't be in the room with the lumbar puncture etc so Josh stayed. I still heard her screaming and it took almost 40 minutes to do it all. She had been asleep on me since and every time she stirred and opened her eyes she looked terrified and screams until I calmed her down. It was horrible. We are still in hospital and will be until at least tomorrow. Last night her temp stayed at 38.8 but seems to have broken this morning. Her temp has dropped and she has been more alert. We won't have any test results until tomorrow but it's looking like a virus.