Hi J! I saw that you requested submissions about what it feels like to be a plus-sized rider. Or a rider who is critiqued for their weight who ISN’T plus size out of the saddle. Here’s my take. Attached is a photo that I have been afraid to publish. No one except my family has seen this photo of me, even though there’s so much joy and excitement in my face, and my horse looks perfect, and it’s because all I can look at is my stomach… This photo was taken at the only horse show I’ve taken Red to. At the end of the day, we walked away with a first place in Intro A, a second place in Intro C, and the Intro Level Adult Amateur Grand Champion ribbon.
I’ve been riding since I was 3. That’s when I learned how to do a posting trot. I start taking serious lessons when I was 6 and I showed horses until I was 15 and decided that horseback riding competitively isn’t what I wanted to do. I’ve always been fat. Always and forever. Sure, I was a more athletic fat when I was dancing competitively, on my middle school swim team, track team, and a select softball team. But I was never slim or muscular or even averaged sized. Every activity I did, I did pretty well in, including horseback riding lessons. I took lessons at a small dressage barn before moving up into the circle of A and B rated hunters. I showed and trained with one of the biggest names in Nebraska hunters. Not once, EVER, did they tell me that I was too fat to ride. Never. They said a lot of other mean things, but they never degraded me because of my weight. When I quit showing hunters and adopted Red, I was happier in the saddle than I had ever been.
But it was only when I joined Tumblr that I learned that anyone could be too _____ to ride. Too fat, too tall, too young, too old, too stupid, etc. As soon as my blog gained a little steam, I had people anonymously messaging me telling me that I was killing Red, that I was hurting him and that he was unhappy and that he deserved better. I refused to believe it. Sure, I’m fat and I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds, but my horse wasn’t unhappy. My horse was (and is) still able to do everything I’ve ever asked him to do, and then some. But it killed me that people could look at once photo, at one instant, and tell me that I wasn’t good enough. Especially since my life, from the age of 3 till the current age of nearly 21, had been dedicated to horses. (Side note: Yes, I’ve always had other passions and I am not currently pursuing an equine-based career. Music saved me when I thought I realized being an Olympic equestrian wasn’t going to happen. I want to be a music teacher because that’s a community I am accepted in).
For those straight-sized riders: think about this. For most fat people, we have been told our entire lives that we are not good enough. We do not fit the societal standard of beautiful. We do not deserve to be good enough because we are not skinny. For most of us, we’ve been stuck shopping in one or two stores, where as straight sized individuals can go into any store and find something. Most fat people have been told they are not worthy of attention, love, admiration, in any aspect of life. And most people know that they are fat - you do not need to tell them that they are or are not fat. It is a part of who we are, and we know it.
Now think about this: Most fat people are putting themselves out on a limb when they do anything athletic (which we all know horseback riding is). If you see fat riders who are learning, do not harass them for being bad for the horse. Us fat people know what it feels like to sit on something and worry about it breaking (chairs, benches, beds, everything). But people who are learning anything need a time to learn. With the help of the right trainer and the right opportunity, let a fat person learn on their own without any “helpful” comments about needing a bigger horse/saddle. If you see a plus size rider who is riding at higher levels, just realize that they have been doing everything that you have been doing to get where they are. We all start somewhere, and we’ve all done through the same things to get there. Fat people work just as hard to be good as skinny people do. We face different challenges in the saddle, but we still face challenges.
On my blog, I’ve gotten so many critiques and so much hate about how I’m killing Red. My fatness, my weight, my ineptitude is going to kill him. But then, when people watch the videos of me and Red’s championship dressage ride in April, I get comments about how we work together and how we look effortless.
I’m fat, but I’m a good rider. No, scratch that. I’m fat AND I’m a good rider. I’ve got a 15.2 hand 25 year old off-track Thoroughbred. We compete in lower level dressage and hunter under saddle. And we’re an amazing team. End of discussion.
TL;DR: Fat people are just as capable as skinny people of riding. We have different challenges, but we work with what we have to make our situations as good as we can.
(Publish this or not, I’m all good. I just wanted to get some words out there. This is something I have dealt with for the past two decades. I’ll be 21 in April, and I’ve accepted that I’ll never be skinny, fit, thin or even average sized. But what I will be is funny, smart, articulate, caring, loving, passionate, and a damn good horsewoman with my boy).
