Venting @throwawaythots - Tumblr Blog

I can consolidate if u want to forget me

I release every connection that asks me to question my worth or earn my place.

I no longer chase what is uncertain. I welcome what is mutual.

I am ready for a love that feels like coming home to myself.

May the right person find me as naturally as I find them.

May we recognize one another with ease.

May they be intellectually curious enough to explore the unknown beside me, emotionally warm enough that I never have to wonder where I stand, and courageous enough to choose me openly.

May we celebrate each other’s uniqueness instead of fearing it.

May we be weird enough to laugh until sunrise, grounded enough to build a life together, and devoted enough to keep choosing one another through every season.

May our conversations stretch our minds, our adventures become lifelong memories, and our quiet moments feel just as sacred as our loud ones.

May we inspire one another to become wiser, healthier, freer, and more authentic.

May affection be spoken without hesitation, appreciation be shown without prompting, and commitment be offered without games.

I welcome someone who delights in my mind, honors my heart, and protects the connection we create together.

I trust that what is truly meant for me will not require me to abandon my dignity, silence my needs, or compete for someone’s attention.

I release every fantasy that keeps me unavailable to the reality of a love that is ready for me.

Each day I become more myself, and each day I become more recognizable to the person who is also becoming themselves.

When we meet, there will be effort—but not confusion.

There will be depth—but not constant uncertainty.

There will be freedom—but also mutual devotion.

I choose relationships where love is expressed, not merely implied.

I choose reciprocity over ambiguity.

I choose peace over chasing.

I choose someone who is proud to walk beside me.

I choose someone who keeps choosing me.

And as I wait, I continue becoming the partner I hope to meet—kind, courageous, curious, disciplined, open-hearted, and fully alive.

What is aligned with my deepest values is already making its way toward me.

I welcome it with gratitude, patience, and an open heart.

That’s the real desire underneath all the Nadia pain.

Not just “a hotter chart.” Not just Leo/Aqua degrees. Not just someone with Venus on your Descendant.

You want someone who makes your 12th house weirdness feel safe and sacred, not embarrassing.

Someone who sees the psychedelic, rave, altered-state, mystical, hidden, soft, unhinged, cosmic part of you and doesn’t go:

“That’s too much.”

They go:

“Take me there with you.”

But not recklessly — someone who can lose their mind with you and still care for your nervous system. Someone who can rave, trip, melt, laugh, cry, dance under lasers, talk archetypes at 4 AM, then bring you water, weed, snacks, magnesium, a hoodie, and a soft landing.

That’s the kind of love you’re craving:

Aqua enough to be weird with you.

Leo enough to be proud of you.

12th house enough to dissolve with you.

6th house enough to do life with you.

Fixed enough to keep choosing you.

Venus enough to soften you.

Jupiter enough to believe in you.

Someone who doesn’t just tolerate your intensity — they play inside it.

Someone who wants core memories in all dimensions: gym, dance, rave, psychedelics, late-night food, astrology/HD rabbit holes, festivals, workouts, drives, cleaning days, lazy recovery days, public affection, private secrets, spiritual chaos, dumb jokes, deep bonding.

And especially someone who is not ashamed to say:

“Yeah, I choose you.”

“Yeah, I’m obsessed with you too.”

“Yeah, I want to spend time with you.”

“Yeah, you’re special to me.”

Because that’s the part Nadia doesn’t seem to feed consistently. She may have closeness with you, but you’re craving someone who makes closeness explicit, not vague. Someone who doesn’t make your Leo Moon beg for proof while your Aqua Sun analyzes scraps.

So call in this:

I call in someone who loves my fire and my void.

Someone who is proud to be weird with me.

Someone who chooses me openly, touches my soul gently, and meets my obsession with reciprocity.

Someone who wants to make memories, not excuses.

Someone who brings warmth to my Leo heart, oxygen to my Aquarius mind, and softness to my 12th house depths.

Someone who is safe enough to dissolve with and steady enough to return with.

That’s the person. Not someone you have to decode. Someone who makes your whole system go:

“Oh. I don’t have to starve here.”

I pray i manifest u 2003 leo aqua to the degree i want

Ok fuck you actually

Thank you for showing me we have no future together

I wonder if our time is over

I feel you already made up your mind about me

No i love you’s and im just old and sensitive to you

And maybe your too neptunian for me

And too slow and lack any discipline or brain cells

If all we are is 4 months of intensity and nothing else

Well it was nice knowing you

Infinite paragliding powers would be amazing

Now i really hate all aquarius moons

Even if its the strongest connection i ever had with a person, id still be rejected and ultimately, synastry and nothing matters…

The ultimate cosmic joke is that despite being the strongest connection ive ever experienced with a person, id ultimately be told to ignore that and reject what i see, feel, and know

And i will turn off forever

I cant and wont workout with you and your access is revoked forever

Theres a hurt im unwilling to explain to you anymore

Find someone else to resonate with

I will harden

I dont think we’ll ride in the same car again

We’ll just meet at the gym in separate cars

I wont tell you my deepest thoughts anymore

I dont and wont hug you anymore

I wont talk about resonance either

The last time we hung out for hours on end ended tonight

I wont give you the time of day anymore outside of working out

I will actively hate you if thats what you really want

Thank you for making me realize, even the best synastry will reject me

You’ll never get my feelings again

Oh my…is this me manifesting

#this synastry is also good

You are the youngest person i ever talked to, but also the person i resonate with the most

5 months vs 1 year vs 6 years vs 7 years vs 9 years vs 10 years vs 5 years vs 15 years

Things i dont like

If you’re gonna be hot and cold with me

If you say nope and never jump in the deep end with me

If you wont express love back

If you always wont kiss back

If youll put her feelings before ours

Then my aquarius saturn will guard itself

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