❝ —Boo! ❞

Kiana Khansmith
Xuebing Du

★

Kaledo Art

Discoholic 🪩
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@thxiiirteen
❝ —Boo! ❞
fearfulfortitude:
So much was happening all at once. Mutsuki blinked down at Suzuya groggily before his request finally registered. “O-oh! Oh! Um–” He reached out a hand and pulled the both of them to their feet.
“I wasn’t snoring that much…was I?” Embarrassment colored his tone and he blushed slightly. Like a grizzly bear? Surely Suzuya was only playing with him about that…right?
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault you missed eating. I…you could have just left me here! You didn’t have to stay. I’ve taken your whole day.” There was still a slight rasp to his voice but he felt much better overall after resting so much. “Next time, don’t worry about me! Just go take care of yourself. I’ll always be fine! Really!”
He took the hand— palms, cold with perspiration, rejoicing in the insulated cocoon of much toastier ones— and set about ironing himself back out; joints clicking rheumatically as he did so (with more than one gurgle of complaint).
❝ S’okay. I’m not really that hungry. ❞
His sense of sight might’ve been a little foggy and his nose might’ve been clogging up, but he wasn’t deaf— and could tell that Tooru still sounded ill.
❝ You haven’t eaten either, hmm. Why don’t you come with me? Food is the best medicine, an’ Hanbee’s cooking is pretty good. Not as good as Haise’s and sometimes there’s a hair in it... but it’s better than the microwavable stuff. ❞
i will literally try to pet any cat i can don’t doubt me
fearfulfortitude:
Okay, he could work with this. So Suzuya didn’t know what a binder was? That was fine. That was to be expected, really. He had no real reason to know what that was. And if Mutsuki wanted to tell him about himself, he would have to explain that. It was okay. Everything was okay.
Still, his heart pounded in his chest so loudly and incessantly.
“Y-yes,” He stumbled, hands curling around the hem of his sweatshirt nervously. “I do wear it. Every day, actually.” It was hard, but he kept his tone even and informative. It wasn’t as if he was well-practiced in this conversation. But he was trying, because he wanted to have this conversation.
“A binder um…helps to compress my chest.” Suddenly he was years younger, sitting stock-straight in that chair as the men with faces that he couldn’t remember asked him to join the CCG. His heart beat heavy, just as it had then. But he had something he didn’t used to have. He had self-belief. He knew who he was and what he wanted to be.
He sighed, allowing himself to look down at his hands and gather the courage to look back up at Suzuya. “When I was younger, I had only unpleasant feelings about living as a girl. I didn’t know why.” He looked back up at him then, face set in determination. “But I do know why now. It’s because I’m a boy. I’m not a girl and I never was. I’m a boy, Suzuya.” He explained, hoping he was making sense. Hoping beyond hope that somehow he would be understood –that he would be accepted.
That he wouldn’t regret giving away his first kiss.
Tooru was doing the thing again— the thing where he fidgeted his hands and fiddled with his clothing as if it was nothing more than cellophane and he was exposed— voice projected at the ground. It was as if he expected to be told off. Juuzou couldn’t imagine why… you’d have better luck finding a philosopher’s stone than shocking him. He didn’t get it— him— at all.
A binder to compress his chest…?
Juuzou unfolded the garment and, experimentally, held it up to his own chest… trying to understand what, of the cartilage and calcified bone, there was to flatten until—
Girl.
There was no tact in the way he looked Tooru up and down— not to objectify him… not intentionally; but in the same way he’d rather refer to the illustrated instructions on the back of a noodle packet than read.
❝ Tooru used to live as a girl. ❞
And then, internally—
“ ...Juuzou used to live as a girl... ”
Now, their experiences might not have been identical, but they still related... and for him to relate was an entirely new and entirely terrific phenomenon. Excitement filled him all at once. He had questions. He had so, so many questions that’d gone unsaid to a world that would surely be judgemental. But now... now he had an opportunity to speak about it and the feeling of freedom was incredible. With a hopeful grin, he hopped over to the table and took a seat— inching so close that their knees touched; eyes huge and inquiring.
❝ What was it like?? Does anyone else know, or is it a secret? This thing— binder you wear... isn’t it too tight? It’s so teeny...! How do you breathe?! Can I try it on—? ❞
PSA to ALL followers
tae-indie:
Okay So if ANY OF YOU THAT I RP WITH leave to go rp else where please let me know. I don’t want to throw away what we have because of internet running jerks <3 <3 Please tell me. I have Skype, Email, and Kik for a reason okay
invow:
ron is here to not take this shit seriously bc it’s my thing and i deserve to say somethings that aren’t mature. ( melost’s fuck you PTA plays in the background ) in ashley’s voice: ok listen, besides all of that, thanks for being around from the start when i first made my old yuu back in may. that’s pretty *puts shades on* cool. after all that hard work on getting people listening to my mixtape, i met some hella great shitheads. im really tired god damn you guys better see this shit when i post this. ok anyway here are a list of cool people i like and they should probably share handsoaps with me.
[8:52:47 PM] reenass: suicidel
Keep reading
fearfulfortitude:
Mutsuki rinsed and spat into the kitchen sink, using an extra toothbrush Suzuya had dug up –still in the package, even. He felt guilty for it, a waste, he supposed. But still it was nice to begin to feel a little fresher. He splashed cool water on his face, wishing for a shower himself. He could still hear the water running in the bathroom as he leaned against the kitchen counter and a wave of sleepiness tugged at him once more. The couch looked awfully inviting…
Before he knew it, he was curled up on the couch once more, somewhere halfway to sleep. Waffles weren’t enough to distract him from what had happened. They’d kissed. And then what? What was supposed to happen? Were they supposed to just act like nothing had happened? He’d never had to deal with anything like this…but…
He’d done it for a reason.
Even if he was drunk, he had clearly been inspired by something. Some feeling inside of him that he had been able to mask while sober. When had this happened? And h o w? He couldn’t keep pretending. But if he was going to be honest with Suzuya…he had to be wholly honest, right? Maybe…he should tell him about himself. They’d been through so much together that it was the next logical step, right? Or maybe he was just too tired to think straight. If he reacted well, then maybe…
It was that thought that was interrupted by Suzuya’s arrival. Mutsuki sat up again, startled by the sudden noise. Suzuya was always so boisterous. How he could keep that up under the circumstances was beyond Mutsuki. “A–ah!” His heart leapt into his throat at the sight of the binder in Suzuya’s hands. His first instinct was to l i e. To make up a story that would shift attention from him. To deny all knowledge of what was going on. Suzuya would believe him, too. He trusted him so much that he wouldn’t think it was false information. Mutsuki had control over the situation and he could run from it.
But–
“I-it’s mine.” He admitted, voice too serious in contrast with Suzuya’s joke. “I…I was thinking about telling you.” Fingers gripped at the too-loose sweatshirt fabric and he swallowed hard. “It’s a…it’s called a binder, Suzuya. Have you heard of those?”
❝ A binder... ❞
Hands, still pruney like his unironed shirt— stitches puckered and wooly in places (he’ll need to replace them soon)— rotated the funny doughnut of cloth. It was no bigger than a handkerchief, really, when he let it’s elasticated self crinkle back up. It wasn’t something he’d ever seen before, and so he shook his head.
❝ What’s that? ❞
He might not be well-informed in the way nitty-gritties, but Suzuya did know that not everyone identified as the gender they were born into. The gourmets were an eclectic group— and the more rococo, flamboyant side of things had not been closeted to him. He knew that you didn’t need to have ‘boy-bits’ to be a boy or ‘girl-bits’ to be a girl. He himself had crossdressed; his genitals had been neutered— but he was a boy... and why? Because he said so. Because that’s what made him feel good. Because he’d been Rei and been uncomfortable for far too long.
❝ Do you wear it—? ❞
Adds ‘rollerskates’ to the list of inventions he DOES NOT TRUST, right under ‘vacuum cleaners’.
what is your opinion on my portrayal?
magiciantofool:
You can tell me on or off anon and I happily accept constructive criticism.
✣
SEND A SYMBOL FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION TO YOURS: ✣ bringing them food
Of all the things that could’ve hospitalized him… of all the ghouls, enemies made, the gymnastics he did as if he were elastic from top to toe, and even his diet… of course, of course it would be a pair of rollerskates. He’d never used them before— but with everything else he could do, you wouldn’t think it’d end in injury. Even Hanbee— the perpetual killjoy who’d joined him that day— hadn’t expected him to hit a rock, and then the gravel with his face. And so, here he’d found himself— in a cot, nursing a fractured jaw, concussion, and the loss of a tooth. But that wasn’t the worst of it. No… by far, the most upsetting thing was the fact that he COULDN’T CHEW.
There were only so many purees the doctors could give him before he got testy. Fortunately, Haise had delivered to him just what he needed in the nick of time.
❝ Haitheeee—!!! S’that a milkthake?! ❞
It was, and as he grabbed it and puckered his lips around the straw, realized that it wasn’t just any flavour— but cookies and cream, from the doughnut shop. He tilted his head back and grinned.
❝ You’re th’ betht. ❞
send one for a kind gesture;
rpmemesstash:
♖ comforting after a nightmare ♘ kiss on the forehead ♣ wiping away tears ♝ holding hands ♡ hugging ♦ picking up your character ♤ bathing your character ♠ my muse taking care of your muse when their sick ♛ shoulder rubs ☮ stroking/ruffling hair ▽ patting/rubbing their back ☽ dressing your character ☺ my muse helping your muse fall asleep ❮ my muse comforting your muse as they grieve ♋ my muse fixing your muse something to eat ✍ my muse teaching your muse ∞ my muse reading to your muse ♒ my muse giving yours a message
fearfulfortitude:
“Ah…S-suzuya…?” He recognized that body language. It was the language of someone paralyzed in pain.
“Suzuya…if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. But please, is there anything I can do for you?”
❝ Can you just—... ❞
Go? Definitely, if Tooru wasn’t Tooru. But Tooru was Tooru, and Juuzou was Juuzou— not Rei— and he was GOOD. He was. Wasn’t he?
❝ ...Say it? Once? That I’m not bad? ❞
fearfulfortitude:
“Suzuya?” He fretted quietly, approaching with his gentle type of caution when he realized that Suzuya didn’t seem to be in a good state. “What’s…what’s the matter?”
❝ —Don’t. ❞
...Don’t lose your head. He pinched at his thigh; at the itchiness under the flesh. Hooks. Hanging from the ceiling. A human chandelier.
❝ Don’t touch me... please. ❞
❝ Am I still a good boy...? ❞
Shinohara wouldn't be proud of you. You're just a pawn, doing whatever you're told by the CCG without another thought. And do you think even the CCG trusts or likes you? You're still a freak and you always will be. Everyone only puts up with you because you're such a systematic ghoul-slaughtering machine. You're a tool to them. You make everyone nervous. You're far more ghoul than human. Do you think anyone could actually love you? Not even your Mama did.
Go on Anon and attempt to make my Muse cry! (STILL ACCEPTING)
Three years ago, the reaction would’ve been explosive— a feral eruption of the most primitive rage and knives and kill-or-be-killed determination to hurt the other as they’d hurt him. And he’d have done it. He’d show them a FREAK, and make them regret fucking with someone as intolerant… as homicidal as they described.
But this wasn’t three years ago, and a lot had happened in that time. His vocabulary had grown; only he hadn’t used a dictionary to learn what it meant to love and grieve and how it felt to have every last artery, vein, capillary filled with guilt. It was hard for him to believe that humanity was such a good thing when it made him feel so bad.
The words avalanched, and he lost himself in the fray.
He felt bad. He’d been bad. He was bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
—Apologize, Rei-chan.
❝ I’m sorry. ❞
strigidxe:
HOLY COW, THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!! Seriously, I didn’t expect Seidou to get so many followers, especially being the giant shitpost he is, but here we are! I just thought I’d make this post to let those of you who constantly bother the owldog know that I love you!
Those who are never getting rid of me
ofbeingsecondbest - PI I LOVE YOU AND OUR OWLDOG TWINS!!! You’re such a great pal and RPer and we have as much fun ooc as we do ic. We’ve been talking since I started my Kaneki blog and I’m just really happy that we haven’t left each other alone since!
t4ruhi - Avi, okay I adore you like seriously. You’re fantastic and we talk so much ooc lately that I just feel like we’re getting close and I love that. Plus you put up with my disgusting headcanons and my disgusting owldog which means that you’ve indulged me once so GOOD FUCKING LUCK GETTING RID OF ME.
welkerose - Layne, you ship Kanae with three of my fuckboys and I love it. You’re one of the best Kanae RPers I know and I completely adore all of your headcanons for him. and the disgusting fanart you send me B)
twistedxworld - HI MISTY, WE DON’T HARDLY INTERACT ON HERE BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ILU. Plus, your Amon is fantastic and so is your writing and the time travel verse already gives me so many feels.
mourniingdove - DEAN DEAN DEAN HI!!! Letting you know that you’re my favorite Akira and that I love you and your birb videos okay? ok.
People I love and need to interact more with!
s-rated-nxtcracker shinxhara tataraxx thxiiirteen vesuvus noxyge (i love you rin, talk to me more) erasvre riddlcd lovely-prehnite fractioxs cirqueduitori