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19 y/o bisexual cis girl with isssueees babyy [active: September 2021]

[starving-trash]

My ED to me after realizing I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago

[thxnspo-princess]

Damn I just realized my stepmom is where a majority of my eating issues and guilt stems from.

[too-fat-to-be-pretty]

Do you ever feel too ashamed to visit Tumblr cause you ate so much

[thinmin]

periods of inactivity are due to this

[vodkaswitchblade]

And I call it ‘recovery’

[parental-issues]

🤡🤡 that’s me

[lillymarie-ana]

called me out

[moonlionn]

me posting nothing but incoherent nonsense and still having some sort of following

[modottis]

Honestly luv u guys sm

[deermemoriesarchive-deactivated]

I get on tumblr dot com, reblog 100 posts in less then 5 minutes, then i leave

[relovur]

green witch thinspo 🌳 💫

[mintyfinx]

[dolefuldolly-deactivated2018121]

[icedcoffeebby]

@ my family

[wanamore]

@myfriends

[sk1nnyw1tch]

@literallyeveryone

[flower-tea4-blog]

[thinight]

[stabilises]

Izzy Lou

[ststthth4]

[sevimliucube-deactivated2021051]

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[thxnspo-princess]

I think I lost more weight than I know, then gained some back. Last week was a week of unloved calories. I kinda went numb? I dunno. Didn’t really give no fucks about anything. But all things come to an end, and I could feel the numbness going away. I feel guilty. I feel so guilty. I wish that never happened. The week of unlogged calories and little binges were triggered when I was pressured into eating pasta by my mom at my cousins bday party we threw her, and then I had cake. And then, I had wine. And then, I had nothing but coffee the next day. And then I binged the next day after that. And it’s just been... down hill, food wise. And then today I snapped back into it, and all the food guilt came rushing back.

Things didn’t work out with my ex btw. Got to meet him in person and he wasn’t really what I was expecting. I don’t want to get too into it on here, or shame him or anything. But he didn’t match up to my expectations nor my standards. Any and all feeling I had for him, were instantly gone. Which, ya know, cool. Cause I’ll never have to wonder again what it would be like if we ended up together. It would suck lol. Not the type of guy I want to spend forever with... ugh, my hopeless romantic shouldn’t have even been thinking about forever. I think I rushed things tbh. Gotta take things slooowwww!!! But hey, I learned my lesson.

Got a job, I knew one person there already (the manager), and I met some of the other workers and they were all really cool, nice, and quite funny tbh. I think I’m going to really enjoy working there.

[sadnsxinny]

[thxnspo-princess]

So this relapse... is sticking. Which, in my twisted thinking, feels like a good thing, cause damn I wish I never recovered in the first place. Never would have gotten at this weight. But some considering the ed is taking over again, some... unpleasant urges, that I thought were finally gone, are coming back. It took years, to get rid of the urge to purge. Like, 4 years, I think. But it’s coming back. And idk what to do about it, but I find myself reaching for the toothbrush. I haven’t done it yet. And I haven’t even binged lately?? But then again I never did b/p back then. Idk the first time I got sick, I don’t remember actually binging. I would eat more than I was “supposed to” and then purge it. I really don’t want to get into the habit of purging again, my teeth are already fucked (and I’m scared of the dentist), and I don’t want swollen glands/puffy cheeks. But idk if I will be able to stop myself tbh.