She Doesn't Even Go Here

[ovur]

When its your birthday month you should be able to do whatever you want and spend as much money as you want throughout the month and it doesn't count since your birthday is on that month so it's okay

[averagefairy]

being at work while your personal life is falling apart has to be among the top 3 worst human experiences. You’re at your absolute lowest and someone wants to circle back on an email…… unreal

[the-scottish-bae]

[thewuzzy]

i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now

[brainrotdotorg]

ideal woman to me and i am not kidding

[poisonedcure]

SHE SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB

[lastoneout]

I don’t think the club could handle her

[ostolero]

people use their blinkers at the last second as if it lets you parry a hit like street fighter

[aviculor]

yes thank you for signaling. but it’s also a meaningless gesture when you’re weaving through traffic like you’re fighting Sans

[ash-rigby]

"We need more unapologetically weird folks!" you guys can't even handle furries

[girlwithmanyproblems]

I think we need more normal people.... everyone wants to be special and weird. well guess what? u are normal.

[cloevr]

it is foretold on the freaky slab

[scumbagsblog]

where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

[snailkites]

Working on a dataset of roadkill reports. state agency personnel CANNOT spell

[snailkites]

come ON

[snailkites]

Also appearing:

red fax

ficher

porkpine

porky pine

[wizardpostsdotorg]

in order to catch a break you have to think like a break

[thenatsdorf]

Friends forever (via)

[rainbowchibbit]

[un-monstre]

I understand that museums have to be dark because light can destroy fragile artifacts. That said, I’m always afraid to walk around the blind corners because what if there is a skeleton

[un-monstre]

Okay yes sometimes there’s a skeleton, I understand how museums work. But I mean what if it gets me

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Don't worry, that's only a risk after hours when the Ancient Tablet™ activates :)

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[sexygaywizard]

[a-sentient-cup]

[ID: tags reading #slaying absolute penis]

[catchymemes]

[everlastingrandom]

got blood work done today and i just remembered a time i got blood work done as a teen. after the nurse drew like 6 vials of the stuff, i asked him “is all that mine?” and he said “not any more” and walked off

[100493503004422]

growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess

[csny]

you are NOT my “passenger princess” get off your phone we are Under attack!!!!!!!! you are my gunner; man the weapons and defend our vehicle with your life!!!