ONE TREE HILL ( 2003 - 2012 ) ↳ season 1, episode 4
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@tilyoutryit
ONE TREE HILL ( 2003 - 2012 ) ↳ season 1, episode 4
toast your dilemma, baby
shane/ilya | 21.3k | rating: E
When Shane wished he was born without a dick, he meant to wish for a lot more. Another lesson in short-sightedness. Wish genies are very cruel.
Five times Shane doesn’t know what to do with his newly acquired pussy, and one time he comes pretty close to figuring it all out.
Alternatively, Shane’s Magical Pussy Haunts the Narrative
Chapter 6/6
The gentle, reverent touches are somehow more dizzying than the bullying ones he’s gotten more used to, soft lips biting into him like teeth, their marks invisible but searing hot, like a brand. It reminds him of the first time, the way Ilya had handled him like a precious artifact he was afraid to break. He thought all sex was like that, back then. Shane had forgotten how, at one point in time, this was the dirtiest thing he’d ever done. It somehow feels the same now. “You save this nice guy act for all the virgins you fuck?” It’s mostly the nerves talking, but his voice still drips with undeniable fondness. Ilya smiles against his leg. “No. Just you,” he hums, low and throaty. His lips ghost the curve of Shane’s belly, the sharp point of his hipbone. “I take special care of my favorite things.”
Louis at the How Did We Get Here? Tour in Atlanta (via LTHQ's instagram stories)
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
“If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” Quickly, Ilya adds, “Don’t say that you want to know if you win the Cup.”
“Why not? What if that’s my answer?”
“Is so boring, Hollander. Of course you want to know this. But Ilya Rozanov and Boston Raiders exist in this world, so crystal ball says, so sad, but no.”
“Fuck off. What are these questions even for, anyway? Are you interviewing me for something? Wouldn’t you have to, like, tell me if you were?”
Ilya is quick to assure Hollander before his paranoia takes him right out of this phone call. “It is not for interview, Hollander. I am just wondering. Answer the question.”
“And I can’t say that I would want to know whether I win the Cup.”
“Yes, other than that.”
“I guess… I guess I would want to know, like, am I happy?”
Have some crack treated seriously! This is a silly idea I came up with while procrastinating two (!!) other WIPs I have in the air. Fans of the column/podcast Modern Love will maybe get a kick out of this one.
DUA LIPA via Instagram (July 21, 2026)
We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.
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Whatever you do Whatever you say By now you should know I'll love you the same
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