i love you, i'm glad i exist

Hi, I'm Lauren! 29, and probs two secs away from losing my keys and my phone (she/her)

[beemovieerotica]

"why is my mental health so bad" -> oh yeah I haven't gazed fondly at a large body of water in a month

[clonerightsagenda]

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall

[chzdavmpr]

Welcome to a little thread I like to call "is that blue?". The rules are simple: I will give you a color any you must vote on if it is blue. Let's start easy.

Hex code #0000FF, common name: "Blue"

That is blue

That is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 50 minutes

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #00FFFF, common name: Aqua

That is blue

That is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 52 minutes

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #FF00FF, common name: Fuchsia

That is blue

That is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 54 minutes

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #00FF00, common name Full Green

That is blue

That is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 57 minutes

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #800080, common name Purple (specifically Patriarch)

This is blue

This is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 59 minutes

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #000000, common name: Black

This is blue

This is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #000010, common name: Midnight Black

This is blue

This is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #FFFFFF, common name: White

This is blue

This is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[chzdavmpr]

Hex code #F5F5FF, common name: Blue White

This is blue

This is not blue

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[beardedmrbean]

Make a mans whole retirement here why don't you

[fl-man]

I have, like .... seventeen uses for this. Where do I get one?

[beardedmrbean]

Didn't even know this post was moving till it hit my dash again, I put it in the replies too but it is called a "chompsaw" and it's by Chompshop

They've got all kinds of patterns and such on their site for different creative projects, it does appear to be limited to cutting cardboard so if you want to do wood you will need something beefier.

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[theswisscheeserag]

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

[theswisscheeserag]

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

[feldfrog]

Limos are such a stupid status symbol. Like yeah I'm rich. Did you see how long my car

[baddywronglegs]

Slow train journeys in rural England sure are an experience. You're going ten miles and it takes a day and a half because it stops at every lamp-post and the announcement says "The next station stop is Ferretley" or something and you think "I didn't know that was a place" and you get there and it isn't

[baddywronglegs]

Last stop was literally a picket fence, enough chopped wood to build another picket fence and, briefly, a train.

[baddywronglegs]

My guy Ferretby was barely builded here

[baddywronglegs]

Two clarifications:

Ferretby's name has been changed to protect the identities of it and its resident(s)

I specify slow trains to distinguish from the other two types of train in England: Delayed and Cancelled

[jodiefoster]

i love the moon. i trust her. i’m glad we have her

[velvetys]

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

[duncebento]

maybe women are stronger than you think

[velvetys]

Sorry listening and learning here

[petitelappin]

This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because "a lot of houses these days don't give you a fruit flavor option." She was very solemn about this.

[txttletale]

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

[jelloapocalypse]

Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.

[manny-jacinto]

🌸 Peter Parker, flower boy 🌸

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

[what-even-is-thiss]

I don’t think Crusty and Bread would try to give me a tongue bath and run to be in the same room as me to hang out if our relationship only boiled down to me providing food for them. Yeah maybe that’s how it started but we’ve also earned each others trust in other ways since then.

[lafey]

One of my cats (she died, will forever be missed) used to make my mom open EVERY SINGLE DOOR in the house so she could check if I was in one of them whenever I went on a trip.

[what-even-is-thiss]

One of my grandmothers friends has a cat that will knock over one potted plant for every day that they’re gone on a trip even when they have a cat sitter lol. Kitties miss you when you’re gone.

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[cumdumpstiel]

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

[queer-as-in-fuck-12]

drug addicts deserve housing, food, water, and healthcare btw