Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
2016 has been a long and bumpy road, especially for those of us who have been active in politics for a while regardless of which side of the partisanship you side on. I’ve always tried to hold my deeply held political views to myself so as not to “step on anyone’s toes,” so to speak, but now more than ever I feel that I need to. I regret my cowardice.
I have always espoused that knowledge and open discourse are what we direly need in politics (I know, I know, I’m guilty of not practicing what I preach), and in that vein I feel that understanding is rooted is a key element to productive discourse. This is why I feel it’s important to try and convey exactly where I am coming from when I am suddenly vocal about these views.
I’ve always been a pretty guarded person, except for those of you that are closest to me, so forgive me if this is disjointed or incoherent as I’m not used to opening up -- why talk about the past when we should be focusing on the future, right?
Growing up, my mom put herself through nursing school while working full-time to support her two daughters -- utilizing the government’s social safety nets such as federal student loans and childcare programs through the school (as well as a helpful dose of grandma stepping in to act as baby-sitter -- thanks, gramma!) Because my mom was a single mother, most of her income went to school, food and bills. We were poor. It was because of those social safety nets I was able to watch my mom work diligently to provide for us and make something of herself -- she became an RN. All the nurses I know have said just how competitive nursing programs are, which only bolsters the respect I have for my mom who was able to work so hard, sacrifice so much of her own time for us.
From school, my mother went on to become an on call, traveling nurse for Hospice -- sacrificing even more of her time and life to provide for her family while also helping others in need. I do not deny my privilege my mom’s hard work has awarded me, and I have not once taken it for granted. Through Hospice, I had the unique opportunity to travel and meet people I would otherwise have no contact with at such a crucial and formative time in my life. There are only a few moments that really stick out in my mind that made a major impact on my life -- the time a kind elderly artist saw potential in me and offered me her own art supplies when I was only around nine years old and the elderly native chief that passed along his peoples’ stories and culture to a wide eyed young kid.
These all were such tiny gestures of acceptance and kindness, yet they speak volumes with how starkly they stand out in my mind’s eye. I am thankful for these experiences for helping to shape me into the woman I am today - a self journey that is far from over, yet has been wrought with a lot of personal struggle. It is through these acts of kindness that I derive my deeply, sacredly held belief that everyone deserves the same chance given to my mother - a hard working American woman that put other’s needs before her own.
The part I’m not as open about regarding my past is the dysfunctional aspect of it - the years of emotional, psychological and sometimes physical abuse while living under my tyrannical step-father. From the very beginning he projected his own fears and flaws onto the rest of us - from feelings of inadequacy to racist and misogynistic rants. It was a constant bombardment of always being made to feel less than, worthless. It was a harsh dichotomy I was living in -- living with my mother, a respected RN that worked to help everyone and believed in me and saw potential and the hate filled narcissist that put everyone down to make himself feel better. He made me feel so worthless, so ugly and that my existence was pointless. I never pushed myself to achieve anything, because if I failed that would just mean everything Kenny said about me was right. So I did poorly in school -- I knew my mother worked hard to achieve it, but if I did and failed I would never be as good as my mother, I would be everything that Kenny told me I was.
I started skipping school, because it was a stark reminder of all the impossible expectations I felt were on my shoulders, of reaching the same goals my mother did. I ended up in juvenile hall for truancy - a truly humiliating experience for the shy, terrified and insecure good-kid that was confused and hurting. Because of the truancy, I had to repeat a grade. Because I had to repeat a grade, according to Kenny, I was absolutely a failure and stupid. He was right. I failed. I was nothing. I was worthless.
I still struggle with these projections, but again I looked to my mother for strength -- she endured the same abuse that me and my sister did, yet there she was working her ass off to provide. Putting herself before others - I would be okay if I just focused on the future. Educate myself now and it will all pay off in time... right?
When I moved away from home, I did what I believed was the right thing -- I stuck my nose to the grind stone and got to work. I needed some help with motivation, and I was privileged enough to have support in gasp my *social* network. I had a job, I paid my own bills and I paid for my own schooling -- right out of pocket for community college.
Only problem was, this when the recession hit of 2008 -- a recession that is traced back to the ass-backwards tax cuts imposed by the Bush administration/republicans.
I worked my ass off to try and afford tuition prices that kept inflating while my wages stagnated, my yearly increase frozen for years while the economy tanked. I was able to hold my head afloat still, thanks to those same opportunities and privileges awarded to me, yet I was forced to watch while my classmates in college - all the working, single mothers that struggled to afford childcare- had the school provided childcare gutted and removed. Welfare was unjustly targeted as well, and all I was hearing were cries of “I worked for mine why should I try and help them get theirs? They’re nothing but lazy moochers!”
Having lived under a man that unjustly lobbed false accusations at me for years, now having those same dishonestly false accusations lobbed at these hardworking Americans was absolutely disgusting -- but I still didn’t waver. Instead, I got politically involved, I started voting in local elections and I helped to collaborate one of the first Occupy Wall Street rallies in as more and more of the money that should be supporting our middle class and our poor, money that should be going to help our sick and our elderly -- the very same people my mom worked so hard to help.
Looking back through history, there are very clear things that seem to be doomed to repeat themselves repeatedly, and the fight for civil liberties seems to be one of them -- and I will fight for civil liberties be it against republicans or democrats -- had Hillary won, make no mistake that I would be an activist to get money out of politics because I focus on looking forward, on working towards fixing things in the here and now to ensure the future not just for me, but for everyone on this planet.
So bring us your sick, your weak and your poor -- we the people, for the people. E pluribus unum -- out of many, one.
It is because of these deeply held beliefs that I am absolutely opposed to the hateful rhetoric used through the election campaign, I am absolutely opposed to sheer disregard for American voters that our President-elect has shown through not only his actions in the past (bullying, sexism and fraudulence).
kianamaiart
origamiaround
stormborns
titsay
dededos
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
izzy806
