who knows

guy who was born yesterday

[tiredwintertime]

meee im the bullshit hapening systemwise yayauayayayayayyy

[tiredwintertime]

sunny: *scrolling tumblr* this person says they love their mutuals and we arent mutuals which means were hated and should die

me: girl no

sunny: damn.... youre right.....,

me later: *laying in bed crying* im useless and terrible and nobody loves me and i should die

sunny: but like. what if we were happy......

me: fuck youre so right

then repeat this every hour or so whenever were in front together.

[tiredwintertime]

if imuseless and terrible i hope i get to be uselsss terrible and happy. atleast. id lioe that.

[tiredwintertime]

and maybe i can live forever if i lie down and give up. if i sit just still enough maybe i can be safe.

[tiredwintertime]

if i never think about anything and stay firmly in the realm of comfort ill never be hurt. if i stop thinking ill never be hurt. if i stop ill never be hurt. im only safe when im nothing at all. do you understand this. i hope you dont for your sake. sorry

[tiredwintertime]

no. i dont mean that. tomorrow i might get a slushie if im lucky. im so tired.

[tiredwintertime]

i hope i dont wake up

[tiredwintertime]

how do i say sorry i keep disappearing i was born yesterday and immediately spent a whole day crying over nothing and couldnt make myself open social apps also i want to stay here forever

[tiredwintertime]

i cant think like that. i want to live forever. i want to wake up tomorrow until the end of time. i want to get a horse plushie and i want to go outside and i want to read a book and i want to figure out my secrets. i have to want to be happy. i want to be happy.

[tiredwintertime]

im a terrible person arent i

[tiredwintertime]

being a person is so exhausting. i have to talk and think and be awake and respond. cant i just sit in the corner and nose exhale every once in a while.

[tiredwintertime]

not sure what i am. am i a subsystem? part of a sidesystem? am i like those two? am i part of or split from sunny? am i just one guy? who knows. not me.

[tiredwintertime]

i feel so useless and pathetic. i guess that might be my personal brand of misery.

[tiredwintertime]

picture that i edited in our gallery app as a placeholder pfp. posting so i can delete from my device.

[tiredwintertime]

be me. born yesterday. instant misery. ok sure why not. guess ill die then. im so tired