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And vice versa
How to know Jesus
William Wilberforce
How to know Jesus
āThrough it all Iāve tried to keep my faith. Especially when things go wrong. Like when my dad died, or when my mom died. My mom was the hardest. I was an only child, so she was like three people in one to me: my mom, my sister, my best friend. She was a Honduran immigrant, and she had such a calm spirit. She only had to put her hand on my shoulder and she could bring me down from wherever I was. Sheās the one who taught me the importance of faith. She had a thing for Psalm 23; itās the one that starts with: āThe Lord is my shepherd.ā Itās kinda clichĆ©. But it was her favorite. So when she was in her hospital bed, and she asked me to āread her something good,ā I read Psalm 23. She was swollen from the cancer and the chemo, but she recited it along with me. I could tell she was almost at the point of surrender. And for the first time I realized she wasnāt going to make it. I had prayed so hard for her to live. Iād prayed and prayed and prayed. But it didnāt work, and I went to a really dark place when she passed away. I felt like an orphan. I almost didnāt want to live. And it would have been so easy to turn to unhealthy habits. An extra glass of wine. Just one more pour, to get me through the next hour. But I held on. I held onto my faith. And it wasnāt easy, because I felt abandoned. And ignored. But maybe it was time. Maybe Iād relied on my mom too much. Maybe I needed to grow. I do still turn to her when Iām having a tough time. Just a couple days ago I was sitting on the edge of my bed, asking Mom for help. And when I went back outside I saw a nun walking down the sidewalk. Growing up my mom had always told me, that you can always ask a nun for a blessing. But Iād never done it. I donāt approach people like that, Iām too shy. But yesterday I did it. I was so nervous, Iām sure it was word vomit. But the nun replied: āDo you have time for coffee?ā We found a table and talked for an hour. She was Colombian, so we spoke in Spanish. She let me talk. She let me cry. Ā She broke everything down. She said āyou are protected,ā and āyou are loved.āThen at the end she gave me a rosary bracelet, and her phone number. āCall anytime,ā she said. āIām here if you need me.āā
Iām holding fast to this: When nothing else is good, God is the only one who is. At rock bottom, the bottom can keep dropping, but God is the one rock that stays.
My faith feels like a shred these days, but Iām holding. Even if a little. Donāt tell me to pray harder or read more Bible or look more to Jesus. Donāt tell me āIf you really believed then you wouldnāt be so depressed.ā No. Itās my tiny shred of faith thatās keeping me alive.
When I ask if God is good I see a cross, an empty tomb. What He writ large in the stars is writ small for our wounds. From the sky to my sin He is re-making us again. When nothing else is good, He is the only one who is. ā J.S.Ā
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Hereās to:
- working on your mental health
- developing your confidence
- drinking more water
- not allowing others to walk over you
- getting your fitness routine going
- incorporating healthier foods to your diet
- setting realistic goals and expectations for yourself
- working on being a better communicator
- believing in yourself
- being kind to yourself
- just taking care of you
You got this. āØāØāØ
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