dear luna,

all these, i dedicate to you.

[to-my-luna]

[to-my-luna]

our existence is the outcome of exponential coincidences, and it was pure coincidence that we even met at all. it could have been a little too early or a little too late, but here we are.

thank you for being born. happy birthday, my love.

[for-my-sol]

i was 7 when i wondered about what love would look and feel like. the love songs all told about this emotion so passionate that it would touch the hearts of anyone who would dare to listen to the love letter. they sang about the high you’d feel and the breeze through the clouds. they sang about the electricity that treads through each nerve of your body. they sang about their own hearts and how they’re willing to unguardedly hand it to their lovers, “whatever it is that you want to do with it. it is yours.”

it used to bring sparkles to my eyes and made me daydream about it constantly.

“who will it be? what will be our story? how will i know if it is love?”

i was 12 when i vaguely understood what it meant. by this time, i thought it was a little stupid. i had examples of love (or what i thought it was) around me and i thought it is what only meets the eye.

“but if they keep doing you wrong so bad, why keep forgiving?”

i was 13 when i thought i lost the chance to experience it. i was told that the longer you knew the person, the more you’d love them. and i knew this boy for so long and thought, this is the love that they always talked about. but we parted ways; i genuinely believed that it was all i ever got and all i ever will. i had love in the palm of my hands and it slipped away before i knew how to grasp it gently. it took me long enough to understand that it was not the case (and i was glad to have been proved wrong.)

“i will never get the chance to know; how unlucky are the stars this time.”

i was 16 when i didn’t know that love would come hurling towards me and this time, i wouldn’t have a clue.

looking back at all of these, i could laugh at how silly little me was. if i could meet her, i would look her in the eyes and confidently say i could now tell her what love actually looks like.

it looks like the brown eyes that bore into mine when i saw them for the first time. it looks like the reddish-brown hair that i twirl between my fingers when she tells me that she looks forward to that vacation her family have been meaning to have. it looks like the delicate fingers that are weaved between mine and the tan skin that reflects gold when the light hits just right. it looks like the smile that lights up the room as if it had every right to blind everyone with it.

and i would tell her what it actually feels like, too.

it didn’t feel like the fireworks that they described and the sparks that flew when we touched for the first time. it didn’t feel like i was on cloud nine and was living as if everything was a dream. it didn’t feel like i was putting on a show just to keep their eyes on me. it didn’t feel like sand between my fingertips and i have to do everything i can to not let it slip from me. it didn’t feel like butterflies were fluttering in my tummy or making me so nervous that my cheeks turn red. No.

because instead of butterflies, there was this inexplacable warmth that spread from my chest and all throughout of me when we told each other i love you for the first time and meant it. it felt like i could lay my soul bare and she would tell me how beautiful it was instead of pointing out its flaws. it felt like falling and for the first time, instead of the ground hitting me square on the back, a pair of arms wrapped around me and kept me safe.

they did not tell you about this side of love, little one, so i will be the one to tell you.

i am 19 when i already knew that this is the kind of love that i’d want to feel for the rest of my life. it is the kind of love that never let me wonder whether or not it is real. it is the kind of love that clears all my doubts and silence all the voices in my head telling me that i do not deserve it. it is the kind of love that i will wish for my friends to experience as well. it is the kind of love that makes me thank my stars for leading me towards it.

“i’m certain that i have met you in more lifetimes than one because my soul told me that they have finally found you.”

[guud-night]

bath time :3

[to-my-luna]

if i am ever forbidden to smell your hair washed with your favorite shampoo, the soap you use that lingers on your skin, your perfume that blends with the sheets, or the smell of us when our hearts and bodies meet, then i might as well not breathe.

i am miserable at the thought of being incapable of producing you're beautiful and i love you's, of not getting to taste the food you cook or the drinks we can share, and of being unable to savor and experience the flavor of your kiss.

the thought of going deaf and not being able to hear your voice anymore, to hear i love you mores, to hear about your day, to hear your reassurances that everything is going to be okay, to hear you in the middle of the night as we talk about our life—it is unbearable.

losing the ability to see your smile, your laugh, and your pretty little face is just as painful as saying goodbye; i am not afraid of my growing age, but i dread the day when my eyes can no longer see your beauty clearly.

but what i fear the most is the day when i can no longer touch you, hold hands with you, hug you, write about you, make gifts for you, bathe with you, eat with you; oh darling, i do not fear death, but what terrifies my very being it is the loss of you and being uncertain of when i will ever see you again.

so in this little and short life of mine that i shall make it a mission to make sure that i use my senses, my body, my brain, and my heart to the fullest, so that when the day to part ways come, i shall leave no regrets, and take all that we have done—from the scents we have smelled, the flavors we have tasted, the things we have talked about, the sounds we have heard, the sights we have seen, to the touches we have made—and all the memories we have created to my grave, or to whatever place that awaits.

[for-my-sol]

you are the most patient and understanding lover there ever is and i am incredibly lucky to have always been on the receiving end of your love. i’m sorry if i take your kindness for granted, my love. i wish you still have it in you to keep loving me through my worst days. i will give you the world if i have to; pluck every single star from each galaxy and hand them to you. i appreciate you so much. the universe knew i needed someone like you. i thank all my lucky stars for leading you to me. i’d give them to you too.

[for-my-sol]

happiest birthday to the love of my life. forever grateful that the universe let me have you in this time and age.

i hope someday, we can celebrate it side by side. i can’t wait for the day that we’ll sing happy birthday to the other softly to wake them up and have such an intimate moment to be ours.

i can’t believe that years are already passing us by. it’s as if it was just yesterday when we met. time really does fly when you’re spending it with someone you love. i hope to spend the rest of my years with you; and i hope you want the same, too.

i love you so so much, my sol. happy birthday :]

[for-my-sol]

i yearn for the day that i can come home and melt the day’s stress away the moment i lay in your arms

[for-my-sol]

the amount of love i have for you cannot simply be conveyed through words, and i fear that i have never told you enough. oh, how i envy poets. they knew what to do with their hearts.

to love you is to find the right words to say. to love you is to realize how incredibly lucky i am to have crossed paths with you. to love you is to love the sun. to love you is to welcome the warmth my heart radiates for your soul.

darling, may our love persevere. may our love be stronger than us and for us, on days we cannot be. may our hearts continue to choose each other, and our souls continue to intertwine. may each star on the sky empty their wishes on us. may each galaxy write our worlds to always collide.

i must have loved you in every lifetime, for this love i have for you in my heart surely surpasses this one. still, i’ll say these words over and over again until it is enough (it will never be). i love you so much, my sol. in this lifetime and all the other ones.

[to-my-luna]

a playlist with what scene i thought of in each song.

wherever u r - umi, v

slow mornings. hiding under sheets. walking in our garden. basking in sunlight. sharing coffee. see-you-later kisses before work. i-missed-you kisses after work. cooking dinner together. holding each other before falling asleep.

it's you - max, keshi

good morning kisses. sleeping in. going out to visit our favorite cafe. buying each other flowers. a picnic. cool breeze. eating sweets in the afternoon. golden hour. painting the sky and the clouds at sunset.

love. - wave to earth

long cold days apart. video calls every free time. wearing each other's hoodies. watching anime and movies together through gmeet. sleepy i love yous. hugging stuff toys to sleep. looking forward to being together again.

ligaya - mrld

stay at home dates. baking cookies. whipped cream at each other's faces. kissing on the kitchen countertop. building a fort in the living room. cuddling while watching tv.

you'll be safe here - adie

waking up after a nightmare. one waking up to the other sniffling. tight hugs. forehead kisses. gentle caresses. talking under the moonlight. quiet i love yous. humming a lullaby. falling asleep in each other's arms.

off my face - justin bieber

reading books together. stealing glances at each other. discarding them anyways to kiss and kiss and kiss. listening to music while napping on the couch. one waking up first and staring at the other, admiring.

urs - john-robert

coming home to find petals scattered on the floor. dim lighting. a table with candles lit and our favorite meals. early evening with indigo skies and city lights. cold wind. warm lips.

bloom - the paper kites

weekends and early mornings. birds chirping. sun peeking through curtains. pancakes for breakfast. watering plants. soaking in the warmth of sun and coolness of the air. sketching. painting. writing.

everlasting summer - seycara orchestral, hikaru station

a hot morning. popsicles. colorful wind chimes. taking a bite from the other's ice cream. sharing a milkshake. watering plants turns to water fights. sprinklers. hose. water balloons. laying down on the grass in the afternoon.

my love mine all mine - mitski

winding down in the evening. white bath robes and wine. facials. masks. bubble baths together. slow dancing under dim lights. midnight snacks. matching silk pajamas. cuddling in bed.

you'll be in my heart - niki

a week before parting. staying in all day. cooking. taking polaroid pictures. playing guitar and singing together. making bracelets. late night talks. breakdowns. promises. "i'll be back before you know it."

v - razz t, thomas rydell

seeing each other again. tight and long hugs. out all day eating everywhere and talking about anything under the sun. feeding each other. updating each other about everything they missed. holding hands and reassuring squeezes.

afterglow - leila milki

slow and intimate moments. undressing each other, taking our time. feather kisses. soft touches. quiet moans. silk sheets. pink cheeks. rose-colored marks. making love.

love wins all - IU

a bouquet. walking down the aisle. two long white wedding dresses. veils. exchanging vows. two rings.

easily - bruno major

honeymoon. drinking wine. house by the beach. night swimming. coconut trees. cocktails. drinking together and getting drunk. laughing, dancing, singing at the top of our lungs. messy makeouts.

naturally - sydney maxine

cold, strong winds blowing our hair everywhere. the beach at night. a bonfire. walking by the shore, hand in hand. hanging out watching the waves. sharing a tent. stargazing.

tingin - cup of joe, janine

spring in japan. strolls in the park. long coats and foggy air from our mouths. hot chocolate and coffee. taking the train. sharing earphones. eating local snacks from stalls. vintage cameras. cherry blossoms.

it could only be us - beyond the sun

roadtrips. singing with the speakers blasting. sun in our veins. shades, shorts, summer outfits. floaties. mango shakes. playing in swimming pools and splashing water at each other. funny inflatables.

nahuhulog na sa'yo - noah alejandre

getting ready for date nights. doing each other's makeup. going out later than planned because we looked too good, iykyk. arcades. window shopping. just walking, letting our feet take us wherever. ramen for dinner.

every summertime - niki

getting our own place. moving in. working. grinding. saving up to open a bakery, cafe, bookstore, flowershop, or whatever we want. vacations and trips. pets. our dream life

?

[to-my-luna]

a letter to my beloved.

my darling, i long for you as the sun yearns for the moon. thankfully, my path can cross with yours whenever our hearts desire. however, due to the universe trying to test us, our circumstances forbid us from freely doing so. despite this, i hope you know that you will have my heart, always and forever, in this life and the next.

my lover, i love you continuously, endlessly, unconditionally. i shall do my best to make you feel it.

it was not long ago when i shared such an intimate moment with you, and since then, i don't think i could ever go back to how i was before.

my lips can only ever long for yours and solely yours. my body craves to feel a touch only your hands can give. my mind, body, heart, and soul feel ill, and only you can cure me. it's really as if i'm completely and utterly under your spell that i call love. and i love you, my dearest rae.

happy 26 months, luna ko.

[to-my-luna]

happy 25th, smol eepy baby.

i hope i can wake up to see your eepy face soon. and kiss you eepily. i'm looking forward to the day we can be eepy together.

i love you, moonrae.

[to-my-luna]

happy 23rd sweetheart.

i'm sorry i can't spend it with you right now, but know that you're always in my heart. thank you for the unending understanding that you give me. major exams really just had to be today >:[

i hope to see you soonest, my pretty baby. until then, i hope my hoodie keeps you company. until then, please keep on smiling, for me. may the distance never hinder you from feeling the beat and warmth of my heart.

love, your sol

[to-my-luna]

i saw 1,411 and then suddenly smtg clicked.

our anniversary is on the 14th of november!

[to-my-luna]

go color me like you, and you did. now all i see is hue.

white is your pure heart. it's the paper i fill with words that attempt to convey what my heart so badly wants to say. the color of the clouds. the feeling of being at peace with you.

gray is the gloomy weather when it's about to rain, and i am reminded of the distance between me and you. it's the hoodie of mine that you have. the fog that blankets some of my days where i miss you even more than yesterday.

black is the darkness that holds the stars within the pupils of your eyes. it's the one who envelops us and hugs us to sleep every night. the hat that you gave me. the color of the cat i wish we can someday keep.

brown like chocolate fills your irises. it's the dessert or snack that we both adore. the color of my hair on our first meeting, on our first date, and on the same day that we had our first kiss.

pink occupies your whole room. the room that i long to enter and see; to sleep in with you beside me. the color of the lipgloss i want to wear when i finally paint your skin with my lips.

red reminds me of your lips that i long to kiss. the nail polish you had on for our second date. the blood that rushed to my face on our little escapade. the jersey that i keep in my drawer, wanting for only you to see it on me.

orange for the sunsets i've watched with the thought of witnessing it with you. the hour when i wake up from a nap and hug my pillow, wanting to have woken up to your sunkissed face and gentle touch.

yellow is the sun that cannot compare to the shine when you smile at me. the light that leaks through the windows in the morning when i imagine waking up to you and shower you with soft kisses.

green surrounds me with pine trees. it's the forest that i picture my life where i'm hugging you while we bask in the cold breeze before the day turns to dusk and we have dinner in our cabin, our home.

blue is i, the color that will always be beside you. the waves that turn to indigo at night when your darkness embraces me. the sweater that you gave me. the dinosaur plushie i hug to sleep. the sky on that one summer day that, once again, reminded me of you.

purple is you, my love. ever since you came into my life, i could never see purple the same as before. it's now accompanied of the thought of you. i can never go back; i can never see violet and not think of you.

i wish for nothing but for you to fill my thoughts, for your ink to seep into my soul. so would you take my hand and paint this universe like you?

[to-my-luna]

to me, your existence makes a difference. to me, your existence made a difference. as selfish as it is, please keep on existing for me.

happy birthday, luna ko. i love you always, in all ways.

[to-my-luna]

y'know. if you keep on looking so cute and cuddly like that, i'm afraid i won't be able to keep my hands to myself.