These are so funny dude youâre actually funny as fuck, I canât believe I missed these Iâm so sick. Unmatched meme making skills, every single one is comedy gold. My favorite is absolutely the âI love youâ and âIâm very grateful for youâ one because god if that idiot Celine could get her shitttt together I stg. Thank you for these, truly đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝
This, like literally all of the art you've made for the fic, is absolutely incredible and I'm so so grateful every time you send something! Everything is so amazing, especially the absolute agony on their faces, the way the colors bleed together and the empty space between them, and just how well I feel like it captures where the pain is described to come from in the fic. Just so carefully and thoughtfully done as always! Thank you so much for making this and for sending it my way, such a gift for the holidays!
Hi everyone! I really appreciate everyone's patience and support for I Want to Die Like a Citrus Tree (But That's Not a Milkweed's Fate)! The last time I really posted or interacted with anything I was deep in getting ready to move to a new country for grad school (per my last author's note) and I feel like I definitely missed a lot of people's art / memes / posts so if there was anything anyone made that I didn't respond to, if you could please @ me so that I can see and respond I would really really appreciate it! Everyone's care for the fic means a lot to me and I hate the idea that someone made something that ended up getting buried in my notifications. I will try to respond individually or comment or like but still trying to balance being home for the holidays, school work so will get to them hopefully soon!
Also, working on the next chapter now but will be a minute before it's out!
Got these Death tarot cards ideas from the Huntrix Blackroom discord server, thanks alex, void and finn for this amazing drawing idea for milkweed.
@dremenec @void-raven @finnnnn15
And thanks to @toastywarmhappyhats for the awesome fic! if anyone who sees it and hasnt read it yet, its I want to die like a citrus tree (but that's not a milkweed's fate)
warning of gore and suicide drawn under the cut
It is so unbelievable to see the final product for these! I am so incredibly blown away and I canât even begin to describe how talented and amazing you are for being able to create such detailed and moving art. As soon as you sent me the first few drafts I got so excited, and genuinely cannot say enough how much this has met and exceeded any expectation!
The flowers trailing around the borders, the brightness of the red against the green and her purple hair, the way you depict violence with just enough detail to be unsettling but not enough to be voyeuristic or hard to look atâthe entire set is stunning. So grateful that you made these and shared them, wow. Thank you, seriously.
Have been losing my mind over @toastywarmhappyhats 's fic I want to die like a citrus tree (but that's not a milkweed's fate), so I composed a couple of rough tracks. This first one: "Fate of a Milkweed" happened after reading Chapter 6. The second one: "Test 21- The Clearing" , if you know, you know. The cover art for both is from @dremenec, who's done incredible art for kpdh and this fic especially!
These are so so amazing!!! I cannot express enough how insanely talented you are and how unbelievable it is to get a music composition inspired by this fic. It means so much to me that so many people feel connected to this work and that the love and time being poured into the writing is felt on your end too!
Fate of a Milkweed really tore me up. The violin, it feels so much like itâs crying and screaming and begging. The short pulls of the strings underneath the main melody too remind me of breath catching or hyperventilation. Itâs so somber and melancholy and such a perfect tune for the fic.
The Clearing. Oh man, The Clearing. So scary and full of dread. The sharp back and forth of the strings reminded me immediately of buzzing flies, an ominous swarm of some scavenger or another. I would absolutely love to hear more about what your process was and what you were thinking about while you were creating these! So amazing and moving! Thank you so so much for sharing!
Question: what would have happened if Celine had read Rumi's suicide journal in milkweed?
Hey! Honestly I have no idea because that quite literally would throw off the entire story and I can't conceptualize how I could have possibly progressed to where I want this story to end if that had happened, but I imagine she'd cry a lot and freak out and be very Helicopter MomTM about it forever. The guilt would almost kill her. Thanks for the question!
Iâm tearing up right now, oh wow. This is literally exactly the way I imagined this scene when I wrote it. Young, desperate with hope Rumi and tired, ashamed, guilty, canât-even-look-at-her Celine. The pop of the speech bubble was genuinely such an amazing way to visualize the language in the fic too, the sense of deflating and a heart literally bursting. You have such a delicate art style and itâs so amazing how you can so accurately and efficiently capture the characters and their emotions. Your art genuinely is making me like the scene more. Wow. So grateful for you making this and tagging me in it, so sorry it took so long to let you know how amazing this is!!
This is absolutely insane!!! I was so amazed when you sent this to me and I am even more blown away by the finished product!! The colors are crazy intense, and the horror in her eyes was so perfectly expressed! Wow, you really captured That Sceneâ˘ď¸ so perfectly and Iâm so so glad you sent it my way with the version pre-coloring and this one. I can just see the terror and misery in her expression and the framing of the scene, to draw it from the bottom up like that, placing the viewer on the ground level looking up at Rumi, absolutely God-Tier choice. So amazing, you are so freaking talented!
Working on the next chapter, a little slow going but itâs coming along đ
Oh my gosh! This is so heartbreaking but so cute, Iâm blown away by the concept and I love how you draw!! Literally such a fun way to capture the mechanical, process based way Rumi thinks at times in the fic and how sheâs so initially out of sync with Mira and Zoey. (-10 on all ends, NOOOO)
Like, wow! I loved reading the way you recreated this, legit laughed but also went RIP when I saw this đ
So sorry I think someone tagged me in this a while ago but Iâve just started grad school in another country so Iâve been missing like 90% of my tumblr notifications and Iâve been super super slow responding to things while I try to get my life together but thank you so much for tagging me so I could tell you how much I loved this!!!
Here's a lil ramble for chapter 5 of I want to die like a citrus tree (but that's not a milkweed's fate) by @toastywarmhappyhats. This has been lingering in my drafts for a while, made right after I read the chapter (and again, and again). I completely forgot about it until recently. Cleaned it up the best I could but its still a mess lol
Fic spoilers under cut, obviously!
The thing that gets me about this chapter is Celine's whole spiel on demons and how they're desperate creatures of shame who only take, take, and take. Take the souls of the innocent, take the image of the ones you loved, take away the life you could've had with them. Only to see this juxteposed to the scene right after with Rumi's spiral of want, want, and want. She wants to be held and taught gently, wants to be harder to hate, wants to die be easier to love back.
(This is my favorite line in the fic so far, I love it so much)
Idk there's just something about the things Celine has said, and how Rumi takes it all and flips them over.
Rumi takes, not as a demon, but as a human. A child. She takes in the closest thing to affection Celine gives her (the gifts, the tiny praises), she takes after Celine's habits (the sticky notes, gardening, emotional suppression), and she takes all the love in her heart and pour it on the only things that are willing to accept them (her plants).
There's something about the way Rumi embraces her love and devotion to Mira and Zoey so readily. The way her mind waxes poetry towards them ("your voice is like the sun"//"you make everything look beautiful"). The way she was willing to carry their exhausted bodies back home after training. The way she lets Mira in and help tend to her garden despite their negative interactions. And then after that night. The way she never rates them less than 10 in their closet fashion shows, the way she guides them through the pressures of becoming a public figure, the way she introduces her beloved plants to them, the way she fully embraces their antics and noise.
Something about once the girls start returning that love back to her, once Rumi finds herself breathing a little easier, feeling a little lighter, she starts wanting something for herself aside from dying (a proper birthday celebration).
But when we see that wish dashed away at the dinner scene, there's that desperation at the front of her thoughts. We've seen how desperate she is for Celine to love her, and we've seen how desperate she was to make Mira and Zoey like her. But there's also how she starts becoming desperate for the girls' presence, for them to fill in the silence she's known her whole life.
So then, there's something about Rumi's desperation in the dinner scene and the way its written that makes it painful. Her reaction/thoughts to finding out that Mira and Zoey won't be with her just feels so forlorn and visceral.
There's this desperation laced with jealousy that it feels so begging. Rumi is conditioned to think she's underserving of them and yet, she pleads for them not to leave (just internally, for now). She was so desperate to not be alone again.
Idk how to describe it, these feelings and actions from Rumi feels so intrinsic and innate, like its just part of her nature to love and beg for it.
Just something about how Rumi is a desperate creature of love who only wants to give. To give her heart to those destined to embrace her, to give everything she has for them to keep her, to give out her invitation cards for them to celebrate her birthday together.
Mira used the phrase "well actually" and Rumi made fun of her for an hour straight and repeatedly brought it up randomly for the rest of the day, made her contact name "achuallyâď¸đ¤"
In response, Mira stole Rumi's phone and tweeted shit like "Mira is smarter than me" "Mira is so cool" "Mira is hot" "Mira is soooo much better than me"
In response to that Rumi told her, "Wow, do you need a minute alone with yourself? These seem intimate."
Rumi will randomly get Mira with deez nuts jokes.
Rumi will act impossibly stupid, just to piss off Mira,
"i dont get it, sad face" "THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE ON THE FUCKING SCREEN?" "...did you just say sad face out loud"
Rumi and Mira are neck & neck when it comes to spice tolerance, it just fits Mira's branding better. The doesn't stop Rumi from insisting hers is higher
Just gets into a bunch of "i can do it better than you" contests.
Runi will argue something balantly false like I dont know "water and soda are the same thing" just to fuck with mira.
Rumi will consume diabolical food and drink combos just for the horror on Mira's face
Made tea with room temperature water as Mira called her insane and stupid
Rumi targets Mira in everything. Mario kart, Uno, Monopoly, ect ect
Because of this last one, Zoey gets to win at almost all games because her girls are fighting too much for them to realize she owns half the board because they kept bribing her with shit to get her to not trade with the other. Itâs honestly like therapy at this point for her.
Inspired by a sequence from So we were liars - arendellesfirstwinter
Full context under the cut (minor spoilers)
Swatting Rumi lightly, Mira teases, âYouâve been painting and havenât thought to show us?â
Rumi blinks. âNo, Iâwhat makes you ask that?â
Zoey points casually at Rumiâs shorts and the tiniest splotch of color poking out from underneath. âYou missed a spot of paint when you cleaned up! Ooo, is that purple? Are you painting a chrysanthemum?â
In a flash, Rumiâs hand is covering where Zoeyâs pointing. Rumi starts laughing loudly. âHow embarrassing! Silly me!â Sheâs smiling super wide. âThanks for pointing that out Zoey, Iâll go get that cleaned upâactually, weâve been out here for a while, I think I might call it a day here!âÂ
[...]
The next time Rumi sees Zoey, she makes sure to thank her profusely for telling her about the âspot she missedâ while cleaning, and yeah, actually, she has been painting, does Zoey want to see it? And then Rumi pulls out the very hastily slapped together canvas of a chrysanthemum, a rushed product featuring old paints from the back of her closet and the guidance of a Youtube tutorial with 57 views, which she tells Zoey sheâs so impressed she guessed, and Zoey coos over it and compliments it and hugs Rumi and says that sheâs so glad Rumiâs not, like, mad at her, and Rumi chuckles awkwardly and says that no, she could never be.
I don't think there's much more that can be said about this that I didn't ramble on about on discord, but I really can't thank you enough. This was such a genuine, stunning surprise when I woke up this morning; blew me away in the best way possible and left me positively vibrating all day long.
Can't ever say it enough, but I love love love your art; there's something so unique and striking and lively about how you draw the characters (what struck me the most early on when I first found your art was how you drew Rumi specifically in your Ride with Me set: she's goofy and silly and smug in a way I want to see so much more of).
I actually remember thinking, when I first followed your blog, that I was bummed I didn't see anything about commissions, because I thought it'd be incredible to see you bring something I'd written to life. The fact that you're just....doing it??? Has blown my mind in a way I just feel like I can't ever express enough.
Adding discord thoughts and one more bit under the cut:
Last thing, because it's so much easier for me to do here than in discord, haha, but you have been so stunningly kind and welcoming and supportive from the very start, and I can't thank you enough. You've been wonderful to get to goof around with on discord, and I'm so grateful you plugged that discord server in the first place, because it has genuinely made my past month (which, by all accounts, given that I just recently moved to a foreign country where I'm still learning the language, should've been very lonely) so bright and exciting. It's become such a highlight of my day to talk to you and everyone else on that server. Thank you. <3
Just wanted you to know I would wait literal months for the next chapter of 'I want to die like a citrus tree (but that's not a milkweed's fate)'. Your Rumi is so precious and I keep rereading this fic over and over again (I'm sure a few hundred of those hits are me, honestly). Especially the last three chapters though? Oh- oh my God I literally can't get enough of that specific type of angst. It's yours (among many other good Polytrix stories) that actually inspired me to write a full fledged fanfic for the first time myself! Thank you for your Polytrix writing, it's literally sooooo good, I cry each time I read. You are truly an inspiration, and I'm so glad your work is getting the recognition it absolutely deserves. Everyone should bear witness to your masterpiece, really.
Hey! Thank you so much for sending such a kind note about my fic, and Iâm so glad to hear that itâs inspiring you to write a work of your own! Iâd love to read it when youâre done, please shoot over the link if you can! It really means a lot to know that what Iâm writing is having such an impact emotionally, because I really try to pour a lot into every line, every scene, and every chapter. Looking forward to publishing the next one, I think Iâm about half-way done with it by now! Thanks again and wishing you the best!
NOT three eggs in a trenchcoat @toastywarmhappyhats - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
