Tobi's Secret Diary

Dear diary, sometimes I feel like a material girl in a material world....but don't tell anyone!

[tobis-secret-diary]

Sunday

Dear Diary,

Today Pein made me go with him to get a piercing. It took hours because he and his Paths couldn’t all decide on the same stupid piercing. It was honestly worse than the weekly Akatsuki grocery shop.

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Thursday

Dear Diary,

Today me and Kisame went to synchronized swimming class together. I think I wore the flowery cap best.

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Wednesday

Dear diary,

I stupidly challenged Deidara to a pie eating contest. I forgot he had four mouths....I did not win.

- Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Can I have some Ice cream ? •w•

dear anon,Do you think i'm some sort of wizard who' gonna wingardium leviosa that shit to you? Cold things melt in my presence because i'm so hot. Not to mention i'm on a diet and everyone knows you gain like 2 pounds if you touch a tub of the stuff.-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Wednesday

Dear diary,

I think I might have died but i'm not entirely sure but i sure as hell lost my left eye AGAIN like seriously how do you just pop and eye out your socket? aren't eye sockets smaller than your eyeball?

Hope I really have died, then I can go ask God for some answers about this because i swear it's like a battlefield out here, literally.

-Tobi/Obito/a ghost idefk anymore

[tobis-secret-diary]

Follow Back? Im new :)

dear anime-freak-lover,

If villains 'followed' they'd never become villains.

Don't follow the crowd kids. Go lose someone you love, don't deal with it and then set some shit on fire.

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Thursday

Dear diary,

Zetsu's pollinating and it's setting off my hayfever, like how am I supposed to look cool and evil when I have to carry around Pireteze in my man-satchel?!?!!?!?

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

You turned into a long loopy turd. Then into a handsome butterfly. How did you do that so fast? I'm still waiting to become attractive and it's been six years!

Dear anon,

Maybe I was born with it. Maybe It's maybelline!

its definitely maybelline have you seen my face

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Hey Tobi! How do you feel now that you're the Jinjuriki of Juubi now? =3

Dear anon,

feelin ten times the beast I was before

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Tuesday

Dear diary,

Do you know how hard it is to water the God Tree?

DO YOU?

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Hi! You're awesome! Will you be mah best friend?!

dear cutelilakatsukigirl,

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Wednesday

Dear diary,

Today someone asked me "Why do Akatsuki wear rings?"

Why?

Because if you like it then you should'a put a ring on it!

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Wednesday

Dear diary,

This must be why I have religious people knocking on my door trying to convert me all the time,

becasue i'm

hole-y

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

What do you think of sasuke choosing Konoha over you?

dear anon,

I mean, it's not like I NEED him or anything, I mean, I totally deleted him on snap chat and the 'World Dominantion' group chat on whatsapp so i'm pretty sure he'll come crawling back soon anyway.

But whatever, he totally lost his coolness when he gained those 3 extra pounds the other month. I told him to stop going to Taco Bell but he wouldn't listen.

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Thursday

Dear diary,

Today I'm pretty sure that when i went to check on Yamato he hit on me (he was doing the 'Sleeping Beauty' routine - as if that would EVER entice me) so I said 'Yo, mokuton man, you're barking up the wrong tree!'

Even in times of war I can come up with these brilliant one liners, i'm such a genius!

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Wednesday

Dear diary,

You might have Sasuke and my sensei and his crew on your side but I still have my hostage Yamato, U LIL BITCHES, SO SUCK MY TAILED BEAST.

-Tobi

[tobis-secret-diary]

Monday

Dear diary,

Sometimes I wish I was a magical girl and not a ninja

-Tobi