Last night was a rough night.
An old friend hit me up, to talk about something that was extremely serious, and well we talked it out and it just got me really emotional because i thought i disappointed him greatly, but he assured me i didn’t.
i’m not happy about my past, and i’ve been on a road of self improvement, rediscovering myself, and surrounding myself with positive energy. I believe that positive change starts with the people you choose to surround yourself with, and i quickly realized that most of the people i did surround myself with, just wasn’t my crowd. So i had to make the decision to just no longer talk to them. No hard feelings, it’s just i had to take myself away from them because i no longer think the friendship was good for me. A lot has happened, and i’ve tried so much to change, from therapy sessions, to self-evaluating what i needed to do to become a better person. I wanted to right the wrongs to those i’ve wronged, some of them were ready, some of them aren’t.
I’m truly sorry for all those who were hurt in the process of me learning about myself. It sucks that, that is a part in living life. You’ll hurt the people you care about, maybe intentionally maybe accidentally. However it may be, it’s apart of living and learning more about yourself, about myself. We do a lot of dumb things and i’m sure anyone can think of something they’re not so proud of. Some may be worse than others, but the important thing is, when you slipped and fell, what was your actions afterwards? Did you continue on not caring about it, or did you try to learn “how you slipped” and what can you do to not let it happen again.
You. . . haha you know who you are.
You’re so strong.
You’re so kind.
You’re so caring.
You’re the sweetest person in the world.
You’re authentically weird and you’re scared of scaring me off but i love tyour weirdness so much.
You’re so dazzling stars would be jealous of your bright energy.
You love so deeply that the oceans would be jealous of the depths.
You’re just so amazing to me, and i want tell you everything, and finally, last night, i genuinely thought i was going to lose you. i know how hard it was. (pp hard LMAO i’m sorry, i was serious about every time the would hard comes up i just hear you saying “my pp hard”) and i can’t begin to describe the amount of disappointment and sorrow i may have caused to you. my voice began to shake, because i didn’t know how else to prove to you that i’m not that person anymore, all i have is who i am today to show for. This is who i became, this is who i grew up to be, and it just, i- can’t begin to explain how warm it makes me feel that you see how much i’ve grown. you know i’m trying, more importantly you trust me. I swear i will do everything i can to not betray that trust. It feels like you literally gave a part of yourself to me, entrusting me to care for you, nurish you, love you. . . and i will. i know i’m up for it. i know i can, because with you, you make everything feel possible. Loving has never felt so easy, and they say, the right one will cause you to love them as if it’s 2nd nature and I feel that way about you.
Thank you so much for your support my love, i will do everything i can to not let you down. you mean the absolute universe to me.
i love and care for you so much♡♡♡
사랑해♡♡♡
나는 니꺼야 ♡♡♡
romaincrisis
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
