billioniare genius playboy philanthropist

(Indie Marvel RP Tony Stark. Spare the snark, spoil the world. Muse and Mun both over 21 and prone to get sassy. Be warned.)

[tonystarknekkid]

"No.  No, no, no -- and hell no."

"I'd throw in an 'over my dead body' for good measure, but why tempt fate like that when fate's enough of a capricious bitch all on her own?"

[and-insanity-blog-blog]

"The laws of hyperbole? If things could be invalidated by the laws of hyperbole then like every other sentence out of your mouth would be negated, Stark. I don’t think you really want to start invoking the laws of hyperbole."

Stark. A sure sign that the little patriot was getting riled up. For we had moved away from Uncle Tony…or just plain Tony…to Stark. And oh how he sounded like his father when he was annoyed.

"And Phil? That’s who you’re going to try and throw me under the bus to? Phil? The man who like hero worships my entire family? I really don’t think he’s going to believe you. Like at all."

[tonystarknekkid]

"Okay first of all, that's Uncle Tony to you, small child.  Uncle Tony is the one shifting blame to you.  Not Mr. Stark or the Roguishly Handsome Tony Stark or Iron Man.  Uncle Tony is selling you out."  There's a twinkling gleam in his eyes that's almost certain to annoyJames even more than he already it, but he can't help it.  He's revved up now and having fun -- much more fun than he'd been having trying to revive SHIELD's horrorshow bit of technology before oh so casually schooching it onto the floor.  "And as a small child I'm not sure you can be a good arbiter of any laws, let alone those governing such a delicate subject as hyperbole."

He quirked an eyebrow at James, the corner of his curling into a self-satisfied little smile.  "Ah, there it is.  So you think Phil's the ace in your back pocket because he's got a man crush on your dad?  That' -- that's like a get out of jail free nepotism card right there.  I don't know how I feel about that being put into play.  It feels like -- it kinda feels like cheating."

[cornfedtrouble]

"The really bad thing is they’d believe you because I break shit all the time."

[tonystarknekkid]

"Precisely why I chose you to be my patsy.  In a way it's a compliment.  Or, it could be a compliment if you sort of tilt your head to the side and squint at it."

"In very, very dim lighting."

[and-insanity-blog-blog]

"Until you call it a piece of crap! Pretty sure your cover is gonna be blown then."

Hush, Tony. Don’t bring his mother and uncle into this. We all know that his mother would have actually broken the…whatever that was. Unlike him. And therefor he is not taking the blame for it. Too fucking bad.

"You! Absolutely 100,000% you! Because you try to modify things. And many times the path to your modifications is littered with broken tech. Like this one."

[tonystarknekkid]

"Obviously I'm not going to call it a piece of crap to Phil's face.  What, are you new?  Oh wait -- you are.  Pretty much still in the factory packaging.  Most of your new-car-scent still wafting off of you.  So I'll that one go, kiddo, since it's the right thing to do to try to stamp out ignorance in the youth of today as we com across it instead of letting it fester like a boil of stupidity."

He stops, making a face as his brain catches up with his mouth.  "Nevermind.  Anyway, I'm obviously not going to cal it crap when Phil comes in to see what happened. Then I'm going to tell him that it is -- was, since it's in the past tense now what with you're having killed it and all -- was a fairly good initial prototype retro-reactor trajectory adjustment monitor, even though it was a little bitch about counter-cailbrating yaw in relation to roll, though to be fair that can be tricky in the early stages with propulsion systems for non-aerodynamic flight masses with multiple inertia foci."

He flashes a wicked grin.  "Was, but now it's a doorstop at best and modern art at worst, thanks to pretty much anyone else other than me.  Like you."

"That's not even a real percentage.  Therefore, by the laws of hyperbole, your argument is invalid by a matter of degree."

[and-insanity-blog-blog]

"Barely. Barely touched it. Like maybe put one finger on it. Which, probably, in most cultures, doesn’t even count as touching."

"Plus, I’m betting that if I told people you were the one that broke it, they would believe me. I’m a Rogers. I exude goodness and morality. Surely I would not lie to them."

[tonystarknekkid]

"Good thing that this isn't one of them.  Barely touched it counts in the court of law just the same as barely legal.  Good enough for government work.  I don't even have to lie, I can straight-faced and with perfect joy and self-righteousness in my heart swear that you did, in fact, touch this piece of crap.  And from there extrapolate that your touching it is what caused its unfortunate demise."

"Whatever, kid -- you know that whole upright boy-scout image's not only kind of a bit hyperbolic, but not actually inheritable?  Plus, I could just point out that it's 'Barnes-Rogers' if you want to get technical and invoke your maternal legacy instead, and it'll even things pretty quickly.  Also, please, who would you think more likely to actually break something?  Me -- or you?  The answer, in case you decide to get cute, is you."

[and-insanity-blog-blog]

"What? But I —"

"I barely even touched it!"

[tonystarknekkid]

"But you did touch it."

"Just enough for me to find a bus, throw you underneath it, and then stand to the side shaking my head sadly and muttering about how I did everything I could do save you while you take the fall for breaking this now extremely useless, extremely expensive bit of SHIELD techno-business."

[tonystarknekkid]

"If anyone asks --"

"I'm telling them you broke it."

[tonystarknekkid]