anyway im thinking about this post again!
I feel like a very important detail you're missing when you're making your point is that the phrase "trans men are hotter because they're trans" has very different meanings and connotations when a trans person says it vs. when a cis person says it.
Cis people fetishize trans bodies in a way that ostracizes us and reduces us to our bodies, "abnormality", and sexual appeal. Their fetishization hinges on the fact that they don't think we're like them; to a cis fetishist, we're not men, we're trans men, and that's appealing to them. In this fetishization, they draw a line between us and them, separate us from our genders, objectify our bodies for not being like theirs, reduce us to the traits they want us to exhibit, and then use this all as jack off material. What that basically says to us trans people is "the only worth trans people have to me is whether or not I find them sexually appealing" and that is a shitty message to send, whether they intend to send it or not.
This is how cis people who think of themselves as "allies" can justify being transphobic towards trans people they find unattractive or treating trans people who don't fit their mental image like shit. This is something I, and pretty much every trans person ever, is super fucking uncomfortable with. So when a cis person says "trans men are hotter because they're trans" it should DEFINITELY set off alarms in your head.
But, that cis fetishization is NOT there when a trans man says "trans men are hotter because they're trans" which is why alarms DON'T go off in my head when I hear them say it.
While I will definitely admit that there are some trans people who fetishize other trans people (usually with identities that aren't their own, look at what rcdart does to trans men and what some trans men say about trans women, for example), that is generally not what's being implied, especially since when we say the phrase "trans men are hotter because they're trans" it's usually in a joking context or in a context where we put ourselves above cis people in a way we usually aren't allowed to be. The meaning of the phrase isn't meant to be sexual; it's meant to be empowering. You can replace hot with any word and the meaning is the same.
Trans men are smarter, trans men are better, trans men are cooler, trans men are stronger, trans men are braver-- these are ALL phrases I've heard in trans spaces and they all carry the same amount of weight when they're said. For a group of people of people as unrepresented and ignored as we are, it can be empowering to call ourselves hotter. So often, trans people are written off and ostracized. When we're not being reduced to our individual sexual appeal, we're scoffed at, told we're wrong about who we are, called deluded, treated like monsters, and far worse shit. To turn around and say that we're hotter, smarter, better, cooler, stronger and braver for being trans men-- for simply existing-- is meant to be an act of love for both ourselves and our community.
By saying it, we're trying to empower both ourselves and other trans men who may be reading. When we say it to ourselves, it's meant to be assurance; It's a way of saying that we can be these things even though cis people seem to believe we can't, and that there is merit in our existence. When we say it to other trans mean, it's meant to uplift; It's meant to say that you're great for existing in a society trying to kill you, and you're better for it too.
It's pride at it's purest.
I understand that some trans people would still be uncomfortable with this language, though, as the phrasing of it is similar to cis fetishism if you're unaware of the intent behind it and, even if you're aware of the intent, you may still be uncomfortable with it. That's fine. It's not my job to tell you what you can and can't be okay with. The trans experience is deeply personal and while some trans people may find the language empowering... it's perfectly okay if you don't.
But, what I can't stand for, is you lumping prideful trans men in with the cis people oppressing and fetishizing them. It's a harmful misunderstanding at best, and purposeful maliciousness at worst. You're helping no one, not even the trans people you deem "valid". By saying that forms of pride you personally are not comfortable with are comparable to our oppressors objectifying us, you separate yourself from large chunks of the trans community, large chunks of the trans community from you, and lots of trans people from each other which... is just yikes. What can I say other than this isn't it, I'm looking away, that's real cringe fail of you buddy, and it's really not a good look?
I know you don't agree with every trans person (hell, I don't agree with every trans person either, reading your posts makes me cringe real hard) but I don't think arguing with fellow trans people is going to do anything for any of us. There's power in numbers and we have a LOT more reasons to stick together than we do to push each other away. We all face a lot of the same issues, y'know? Getting caught up in the little details keeps us from getting anywhere. To make posts that create a divide in the trans community, whether you intend to or not, isn't really... a good thing to do? I feel like this should be obvious, but solidarity with those suffering the same pain as you, with other people combating a transphobic society, is almost essential. So just. idfk. think about that or some shit. Just because you disagree with people doesn't mean you have to treat them like shit.
Anyway, all that shit being said, trans men are hotter because they're trans lmao
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