I created this blog to express the millions of emotions and thoughts that ruled my mind for years. I gave my thoughts power over me. I gave them power because I loved them. I enjoyed them. They comforted me. They boosted my ego and made me feel wanted.
I didn't expect them to use the power to destroy me. How can your own thoughts turn against you? I didn’t foresee how they would change my life beyond recognition. My thoughts didn't work alone. Oh, no. They had some help. Once I got older, my thoughts became more real. My thoughts became more like desires, and in time, my desires now seemed achievable. This must be the freedom that adulthood brings? I was curious. This is the curiosity that eventually brought me to my unforgettable moment in the women's bathroom crying out in anguish.
So who was the partner in this crime? Yes, I am calling it a crime because I was robbed. I was robbed of countless beautiful moments many people pray for. The second half to this dynamic duo, were my emotions. Be aware people, your emotions can screw you too! Oh, yes- the two working together was like a beautiful harmony of lies and your personal choice of feel good drugs.
Once they joined forces, I felt something change in me. I felt a craving that needed to be satisfied. It was more than an itch that needed to be scratched. A strong minded person can ignore an itch. I felt my thoughts growing, accumulating size and strength each day. It made it hard to talk, difficult to walk and became too loud to ignore.
I looked in the mirror one day and saw a different person. I changed. Something inside me switched and no one could ever find out about it.