Tophat's Hair

HIII HI HI HII!!! Um i've been on tumblr for a bit, I really want to post my art on here! :PP ko-fi.com/tophatxp

[tophat123]

Its so stupid im crying over a god damn movie. But I worked so hard this year just for my mom to cancel it. I dont blame her. And I cant be mad at my dad because he was at work... there was no way to contact him but through email because our phones were off. But im still so sad, I was so excited when I showed my mom my grades, when she told me I could get the special stuff from the theaters that would most definitely be sold on ebay for so much money. Im so sad.

[tophat123]

GOD hes so malewife coded, i need to put a child in him 💔

[tophat123]

I watched Hoppers a few days ago. I cannot stop drawing the absolute babygirl, Jerry. He's so pretty, and such male wife material... he treats his mom right. He's so beautiful.

[tophat123]

I was meant to watch a movie yesterday day with my sister yesterday. However my dad was late to come home, so my mom refunded the tickets and said. "welp, sorry. Don't be upset, its your dad... don't know what you expect." In a nonchalant tone. It made me sad because its one of the two things I looked forward to this year. The only two things, now one of them i cant even see. I worked so hard this school year to maintain A+'s in all of my classes AND be number one in the whole grade. My sister too, she literally got two awards from the teachers, and was placed into an advanced class. Me and my sister were so excited I even made costumes for us, thinking we would wear it to the movie we'd see the movie. Not only being great with academics, i watched my siblings most of this year, my parents spent their time arguing, trying to fix the relationship, and just hanging out with their family. While I was stuck at home playing mom for my younger siblings that are younger than 11, one of them being 2 years old. I also cleaned a lot. I can't take all of the credit, my younger sister helped out a bit aswell, I'd ask her too keep an eye on the baby when I needed the bathroom, and swept the floors for me. I might sound spoiled, but I think my sister and I deserved to see that movie, I was so excited. Now im sad, one of the reason to be out of this stupid bug infested house just for my mom to refund the tickets and act so normal about it. I literally have nothing other to do than draw, even then that gets boring. I even tried negotiating with my mom, asking if we can go another day and I'll pay for my ticket, and me and my sister's popcorn if she only paid for my sisters ticket. She just gave me the look that told me to shut up. So I did, that got her mad, and said, "why are you upset? What, are you depressed? You can't be. I went through worse at your age and I wasn't depressed." Your sisters can say otherwise, mom.

[tophat123]

Kai cenat did NOT deserve to die bro, nor did shaqueal... 💔💔

[tophat123]

I love when my mom doesnt want to cook, nor does she want to go out and buy fast food and she just says, "eat whatevers here" because like... I CAN EAT ANYTHING?! I can eat noodles and a SANDWICH at the same time without being told no?! Thats so cool. And especially when me and my family all didnt eat anything for dinner so we just raid the kitchen eat snacks and whatever and go back to do whatever we were doing before. Its amazing. My mom ate some pepperoni last night around 2, and she gave me some. It was awesome sauce.

[tophat123]

Literally crying right now. Im so stressed out and cant do nothing about it, I cant tell my parents anything because even though they say, "you can tell us anything!" The next time I do they end up saying how much of a, "snowflake" i am. I have like 200 assignments in total to finish by tonight and its worse that my rooms a mess and my mom saw it. She came in suddenly when I was waking up from a 30 minute nap I really needed... and she got mad at me and said things that made me feel embarrassed of myself. I feel like a mess and cant take this anymore. I don't know what to do and I cant necessarily talk to anyone about it because its either, "well when I was your age..." or, "oh! I think I should tell a trusted adult about this." Like dont tell when I tell you, you tell me when you almost killed yourself and told me to keep it a secret, just keep it a secret that I have missing assignments, please. But they do it anyway and my parents get a call and my life ends, my phone, tablet, and anything I use to entertain myself is taken away only for me to clean when I'm bored. And then my mom goes and tells her sisters that, "oh yeah! (Name) cant even do her school work, its embarrassing to have a daughter who's lazy."

I hope when I'm older and if I did have kids, they never will feel like this. Having to sit in the bathroom typing out sentences that shouldn't be written unless it was apart of a story they've created. I don't want them to feel bad and have to cry silently in the bathroom because they're scared that if they show the slightest amount of vulnerability has their stuff taken away and them feeling shit about themselves because of things I blindly said.

Anyways, here's a drawing i made recently. I decided to try a more cute look to my art style... aren't I adorable?

[tophat123]

Im finishing this year of school, fun. I can get a job. In my language arts class we had an assignment. Record yourself for a minute, talk about an achievement you're most proud of whether it'd be a complicated drawing that was finished or getting straight A's. I had me think for a while, it made me feel disappointed and sad. What do I have to be proud of? I don't really do anything. I don't finish drawings, I do a half ass job with my school work, and I certainly haven't made any friends other than regular "hi, how are you?" With a classmate. I have A's and B's in my class, a brighter contrast to the last 4 years of me getting F's and C's in my class... but, thats what's expected of me, a student who's in classes I most shouldn't be in, Classes 2 years above what im meant to be in for my age group. Im meant to be smart. I never finished the assignment, I didnt know what to say, and I didn't want to make something up. Im so disappointed in myself, I can't even get out of bed without scrolling for hours just to leave my room to go use the bathroom, and come back to do the same cycle until one of my parents calls me out to eat.

[tophat123]

I AM SO GOD DAMN HUNGRY AHHH... my fatass wants noodles and a big vat of it, im so hungry... im craving noodles but we dont have noodles because my brother made the last noodle a month ago and we haven't gotten noodles since then i Want nooodlesss

[tophat123]

I literally just got done changing after killing a GIANT ASS cockroach in my pants. We moved 4 months ago to get away from the cockroaches. The day we moved out we saw just how much there were, loads of baby and regular sized cockroaches crawling in and out of the outlets, windows, cracks in the wall. and just more... Now there are just really big cockroaches. I blame myself and my dad. When me and my family were moving me and my dad were given 3 days to pack the whole place we lived in. The last day of packing my dad dropped me off at the house with my mom and siblings and said, "i'll finish the packing" and he jsut threw stuff in bags and boxes without checking for any cockroaches. I shouldve been faster and we couldve gotten it done and might not have brought any cockroaches. but we did.

[tophat123]

Using ClipStudios doodle mode trying to figure out if I want to pay for it or not :]

[tophat123]

Guys, remember dont mate with a dinosaur!

[tophat123]

My two beautiful trauma babies in love~! :} Merry Easter too those who celebrate it.

[tophat123]

Drawing I made because I finally bought a new pen!

[tophat123]

"uh that ish is yag, uh that ish si yag"

[tophat123]

In the second five nights at Freddy's movie Mr. Berg, or the rude robotics teacher... looks like my old robotics teacher, only hes mean. My robotics teacher was the exact opposite. He was kind, and very funny. So I call mr. Berg evil mr. (Insert my teachers name)

[tophat123]

I love the first episode of Danganronpa. Specifically The last few minutes where Maizono was crying in Naegi's arms then Monocuma Fake cries only to erupt in laughter,