sources: probably from the Duck News Network

I'm pretty sure these quotes were definitly in the game at some point. Submissions are open for quotes, headcanons, and anything else Epic Mickey related!  

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Hi? Are you alive?

Me? Yeah

This blog rn? Not so much, sorry bout that.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Look what I made.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Prescott: Why do you always have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?

Gus: I do not.

Prescott: Yes you do, and do you know what I end up with? Wet dreams!

Prescott: I heard it as soon as I said it, lets move on.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Imagine a scenario where Mickey’s trying to be buddy buddy with Oswald, but how he does it is based on this:

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

[After the Blot escapes and Mickey gives up his heart]

Mickey: This is all my fault...

Oswald: No. [pats his back] No, no, no.

Oswald: [to Gus] I’M LYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER.

Mickey: [cries harder]

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Mickey: Yeah? What makes you so sure?

Oswald: Because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right.

Mickey: No it doesn't.

Oswald: It totally does.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Oswald: Don’t say a word.

[silence]

Mickey: Fergulous.

Oswald: Mickey, I said no words.

Mickey: Oh I see how it works. Two weeks ago we’re playing scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it’s a word, because it’s convenient for you.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Clarabelle: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Fanny: Yeah, break their bones, they have 206 of those.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Horace: What's upsetting you?

Ortensia: He's always using common phrases wrong.

Oswald: Oh, cry me a table, Ortensia.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence.

Oswald, probably.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Ortensia: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Prescott: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Don’t be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Blotworx Army!

The Mad Doctor, probably. 

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Ortensia: [holds up leg] Feel my leg. I shaved.

Oswald: [stokes it] Holy shit.

Gus: Guys. We. Are. Under. Attack. This. Is. Not. The. Time.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

I know bad ideas. Jamface is one

Prescott, probably.

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Ortensia: 99% of the time when random crap happens, you're somehow involved!

Mad Doctor: Can't you have a little faith in that last 1%?

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. 

[totally-accurate-em-quotes]

Jamface: So I was talking to Hyperion, and I said you should have heard the argument that Markus and I had about preheating the oven.

Gus: That’s what you two were arguing about?

Markus: No! He doesn’t understand that you have to let the oven heat up before you put your stuff in!

Gus: Wait. Do you do that?

Jamface: …It was just a pizza.

Markus: He just clicks preheat and throws it in! Like, what kind of monster are you?!

Prescott: Wait, Jamface…do you do that?

Jamface: …It’s just a pizza!

Prescott: That’s not how it works!

Markus: Thank you!

Prescott: 20 minutes at 450 does not mean put it in before it’s 450 then wait 20 minutes. That’s not how it works.

Jamface: But it comes out perfectly fine!

Markus: But it would come out even better if you just wait!

Gus: That’s not how that works, you little shit.