to tell a lie.

When all else fails.... deny, deny, deny.

[totellalie]

The Grieving Period: part 1

Just as I entered the gym, I noticed Angela already sitting with a small group in an oval, discussing their feelings. I sat directly across from her.

“And you are?” asked some strange man.

“Where’s Ms. Whitt? I’m Naomi. Joy’s best friend.”

I could feel Angela’s stares growing more intense; whatever I could do to piss her off.

“The school board felt Ms. Whitt was too invested in the situation with you kids, so they appointed me to help you guys through the grieving process. My name is Mr. Sanchez.”

It really didn’t matter. I sat down and listened to all the people who were also missing Joy. Finally, the counter clockwise rotation had reached Angela when I decided to cut her off.

“Joy and I were going through a rough patch when she passed two weeks ago. But I knew her better than anyone, she didn’t deserve to die.”

“Often the premature nature of death leaves us feeling like we could do more, but I’m sure you were the best friend you could be Naomi.” assured Mr. Sanchez.

“I do, Joy was falling in with the wrong crowd. I was tying to let her find herself and look where it got her..”

“Are saying it was Joy’s new friendships that caused this? That’s a huge accusation Naomi.”

“Not when it’s true,” I rebutted.

“I think that’s enough for today, lets meet again Wednesday, same time.

As soon as the last utterance left Mr. Sanchez’s mouth, Angela was fleeing the gym. As I rushed to gather my things and follow her, I noticed something. A small book, Angela’s diary? No. Joy’s. Angela got away this time…

[totellalie]

7th period

It seemed like 7th period was never ending, and i would be trapped in class forever.  I don’t know what the sudden rush was to leave school.  Yea, i do.  It was Noami.  She was asking a lot of questions, sooner than I could think of lies to answer them.  I didn’t expect anyone to miss Angela, at least not this soon.

My biology teacher was ranting on and on bout mitosis, something I knew nothing about.  Maybe I shouldn’t skip this class as much. The principal came over the loud speaker requesting me to come straight to his office, it was like a God send.  I gathered my things and darted out of class.  No Mr. Dubois, I will not get the notes from my lab partner.

I took my time walking down the hall, I passed by Angela’s locker.  My curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to stop.  Her combination wasn’t hard to figure out:

Left, 1. Right, 29. Left, 4.

It was a mix between our birthdays, she really had no other friends.

Inside, were some text books, a sweater, and what looked like a diary.  This’ll make for a good read later.  As i grabbed the book a piece of paper fell from her locker.  It was a letter. From Ray.  Was this George’s friend Ray? 

I ran through my mental roladex.  There was no one in our class named Ray, I have to further investigate.

I got to the principal’s office 20 minutes later, he seemed anxious to speak with me.  My heart dropped into my lower intestine.  I had no idea what this could possible be about…

"Angela, I’m sorry for your recent loss.  Joy was sweet girl, lots of your classmates feel your pain," said Principal Morris.

"Thanks sir."  I tried to keep everything as brief as I could.

"With that said I think you should join our guidance counselour for some grief conseling."

"I think I’ll pass sir."

"No, you don’t seem to understand.  This isn’t an option.  It is mandatory that the school board sends students to counseling when they suffer a tremendous loss."

Where was the school board when I lost my mother??

"And when exactly does this counseling start?" I asked.

"Today, 3:45.  Right after school."

Just great, another person who I had to lie to…

I left the principal’s office feeling eerie.  I knew no good could come of these meetings.  Just as I turned the corner I ran into Naomi.  And with a smug look on her face, she said:

"See you in counseling later…"

Just great….

[totellalie]

what does Naomi know? I need to stay away from her…

Angela

[totellalie]

I have a feeling...

I saw on the evening news, last night that Joy was dead…  Suddenly I felt really bad for how things went over the last few months.  I hate how “into highschool” we had gotten.  I instantly wanted to talk to Angela because I know Joy had become the low-life’s shadow. 

I haven’t the slightest clue as to why I would want to talk Angela— but my mind was yelling ‘Naomi, do it’.

She had been absent the last few days of school, I know because I have 5th period gym class with her.  That Friday she finally showed up.  I was going to approach he after class in the locker room, but she had dissapeared once the bell rang.  I felt like she could sense the conversation coming…

I was almost late to 6th period, looking for Angela.  On my way to class I felt an eerie feeling and voice chanting my name… 

 na- omi… Na-omi…. NA- Omi… NA- OMI…

I followed it to the end of the west wing that was under construction.

NAOMI!

I was frightened so hard I fell onto a plastic curtain leading me to a part of the school that I didn’t know existed.  The voice suddenly stopped.  Then a light began to flicker down the dimly light hall way.

I ran to the source and I heard my name again,

Naomi!

…but it was just a safety officer calling me.  He informed me of the obvious, I wasn’t allowed in this part of the school.  He escorted me back to class.  Five minutes after I settle in, guess who’s getting excused from class to go to the principal’s office?  You got it.

I rushed out into the hall, when Angela grabbed me…

"So why were you looking for me?"

"How do you know what I was doing?

"I know a lot…" smirked Angela.

"Well not as much as I do…  When’s the last time you saw Joy?" I asked.

"Two weeks ago in school…" she claimed.—Little White Lie #2

"Are you sure?"

"Stay away from me," she warned.

I could tell that wasn’t going to happen.  I needed to find out what she was hiding.  Good thing I knew just who to ask.

[totellalie]

flash back

The next morning I woke up numb.  I had gotten no sleep, from the night before.  I wish I could say I cried myself to sleep, but it was more like until I passed out…

Strangely, all I could think about was my mom, and not Joy.

It would be two years since the accident, but it still feels like yesterday.

My mom and dad were on their way back from the Italian Bistro off Main street, they were celebrating their 20 year anniversary.

As lovey dovey as my parents always were, they had their secrets.  Secrets they had no idea I knew about.

Well as the police report states, my dad’s phone kept ringing on the way back.  Approximately four times, until my mom finally reached over to answer it.  My dad instantly reacted by swatting her hand away.

My mom had no idea about his affair with  Ms. Marshall, my english teacher, and I don’t think he wanted her to find out… not on their anniversary.

He couldn’t keep the phone away from her and drive at the same time, eventually she got a hold of it and answered the suspicious phone call.

Sure enough it was Ms. Marshall

Hey babe, are finished up at the Bistro? I hate waiting on you….

She dropped the phone and just stared at my dad.  The phone was on speaker phone, so there was nothing my dad could say or do to deny it.

He slowed the car down to try to calm my moms nerves, she had severe anxiety and he knew that.

Oblivious to the fact that he had stopped right on the railroad crossing, the 10 p.m. local came right on time, slamming into the passenger side of the car.

That was the last thing he remembers.  I didn’t even get to say good bye.  I replay the night over and over, trying to find things I could have done to keep it from happening.

My mom didn’t deserve to die, neither did Joy…

Damn.

[totellalie]

[continued]

Dying was nothing like I thought it would be.  It was a long and drawn out process that makes you wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?”

It felt like memories were escaping me, leaking from my head.  But after the first blow I realized it wasn’t memories flooding, but rather it was blood.

You know how in movies and on television, near death experiences are described like your life is flashing before your eyes, but hard as I tried,  I couldn’t remember all the things I swore I’d hold onto forever.

It was like a higher being was telling me to let go.  Let go of the life I had created. Let go of the people I loved.  Let go of everything that reminded of what I use to have.  It was intense.

I guess your all wondering what happened to me.  Well, all will reveal itself in time.

I wouldn’t wish death on anyone.  But i’ll have my hand in Angela’s…

-Joy

[totellalie]

little white lie.

I didn’t mean for things to get out of control.  In fact, I thought I had everything under control…  Now. Joy is dead.  But that’s not my fault, or atleast that’s what I’m going to tell people.

I had been texting Joy all day when I suddenly got this text from George.

What chu doin tonight?  Wanna meet on the peir?

George was a hot older guy I had met while visiting my cousins in Boston.  He thought I was 20, and I had every intention of keeping him under that impression.—Little White Lie #1

What could it hurt?  We were just going to hang out.  What’s the worst that could happen?  I had conned Joy into going with me by promising to help her with her French homework.  I said what I needed to get what I wanted which was something I do on the regular.   It seemed like the night would go great.

My dad let us borrow the car with no objection; I could always guilt him into anything.  I still blamed him for my mom’s death, and he will never forget it.  So I took his keys without bothering to tell him where I was going or why.  I rushed to pick Joy up around 9;30.  I remember because George texted me right as I pulled up in her drive way.

The peir was all the way downtown, by the new highway which was about a half hour away from Joy.  She could be a bit of a wet blanket so I had  something to loosen her up, a duobie.

She was reluctant at first, but I assured her all the college kids smoke weed and she wanted to shed that good girl image, this was the way to go.  So she did.  She got chatty and really started to annoy me.  When I think back now, I can’t really remember why we would hang out in the first place.  We were nothing alike, luckily…

We pulled up behind an old factory right beside the pier and I finished the doubie.  I freshened up and sent George a text.

We’re here… by the factory.

A few minutes later, a car spun around blaring music and four guys got out. George, Ray, Aaron, and Mike.  I thought George was only bringing one friend, but its not like I have enough friends to accommodate his.  I’m sorta a bitch and not many people can handle that.  Which is cool, less bullsh*t to tolerate.

George and I walk off.  To handle business.  He had threw me down on the ground and laid on top of me.  We talked for a while.  I had to end the conversation because I couldn’t think of lies fast enough.  Besidess I didn’t plan on seeing him after tonight.

So I pulled him close and began to kiss him, hard.  I could tell he liked it because he kissed back.  Just as things were going my way, who but Joy starts screaming my name.  Then an eerie silence.

I ran back to where we had parked the cars, but I didn’t see Joy.  I crossed over to the pier to find George’s three friends standing over Joy.  She wasn’t moving.

George ran over to his friends terrified.  They sort of stood their while he screamed at them.  Then they all ran to the car and pulled off.  I was stuck.  All I could do was cry.

There she was, half naked with blood leaking from her head.  What did they do? What was I going to do?  I grabbed her phone and sent my self a text message:

You were right, he is really cool.  Go ahead with out me.  He’ll give me a ride home.

I dropped her phone beside her and got in my car and left.  I know it was wrong, but what about me?  I’m not taking the wrap for this, I did nothing wrong.

The drive home seemed to take forever.  I pulled up and ran inside.  I locked myself in the room and cried.  I’m not sure why I was crying, that’s the weird part.  So I rocked myself to sleep.

I didn’t mean for things to get out of control.  In fact, I thought I had everything under control…  Now. Joy is dead.  But that’s not my fault, or that’s what I’m going to tell people.

[totellalie]

The guilt is killing me. But it’s best I keep quiet…

Angela