It's been a while. I've just been so busy with everything...
America is beautiful! I feel like I belong here. And the people are so fucking friendly! Adam won't believe it when I tell him, but I've spent the past 2 weeks chilling with celebrities I've only seen on TV before. It's so fucking surreal. I don't even know how I've made it here. How the fuck do you go from drinking and fighting in shitty pubs to hanging out on a beach with Dita von Teese in California! That doesn't just happen!Â
Adam...damn I haven't spoken to him in a while, now that I think about it. He refused to come with me, saying his delicate skin would burn right off of his perfectly firm white ass. Well, his loss. At least I tried.Â
I'm landing in a few minutes. Back to the cold and windy England. I don't even know why I left America in the first place.Â
Ok, I do know why. But don't tell anybody.
It was snowing heavily when I stepped off the plane. I was sore and tired from trying to sleep on the unbearably long flight to England. Times like these, I wished America wasn't so far away. Then again, most of the time I was freaking thrilled it was. It was like stepping into another world completely.Â
I hunched my shoulders when I stepped out of the airport, trying to stand with my back to the wind to keep the snow out of my eyes. There's nothing like icy water in your face to remind you you're not in Kansas anymore.Â
Adam had promised to pick me up, but seeing as he didn't have a license, I was skeptical Plus, the promise had been made weeks ago, before I left. He had probably forgotten about it the next day. And as I had suspected, there was no Adam in sight. I hailed the first cab I found and told the driver our studio's address. I knew I'd find him there. He was always there these days.
"Adam?" I called as soon as I was safely inside the building, "Adam!"
There was no answer, Adam was probably sat behind his trusted computer again, headphones in, dead to the world in every aspect that mattered.
"Adam?" I said hesitantly, opening the door to the studio.Â
All I got was his back, shoulders frigid and wound up, giving off vibes that clearly stated he didn't want to be disturbed.
"Adam, how long have you been sitting behind that thing this time, huh? Have you even eaten? You know, one guy dropped dead from sitting too long behind his computer once. Some american dude, or german...I can't really remember anymore.."
"I'm fine. I ate an hour ago," came a grumpy answer, Adam's back still facing me, "You sound like a yankee."
"That's because I've been surrounded by them for the past 2 weeks, dummy."
I hesitated before closing the door behind myself and taking off my coat. I eyed Adam's unapproacheful  shoulders while moving to the couch. Adam was rarely like that. He didn't sulk or hold grudges. He usually just smiled through it, tight-lipped but still, and moved on. I didn't know this Adam. The only time he had ever been like this was...
"Adam, are you alright? Did something happen?"
"Yes, nothing happened," Adam mumbled in response, clearly trying to relax his muscles to look less reluctant.
"I don't know...you seem upset," I wrinkled my brow in thought. The last time Adam talked to me like this was after he had broken up with his last girlfriend. But that was forever ago. Surely he was over her cheating on him by now...
"Upset? I'm not upset," Adam said in clipped sentences. I still hadn't seen his face and I was thoroughly sick of it.Â
"Come on, man!" I tried to joke it off, extending my toes and pushing the computer chair Adam was sitting on, "Snap out of your sulk! I can almost see the raincloud over your head."
The chair turned just a fraction, but it was enough for me to get a glimpse of Adam's tight lips and angry eyes before he rotated himself back around.Â
"God damn it," I muttered, moving off the couch and grabbing the handles of the chair, bringing us face to face, "stop deflecting and tell me what's going on."
That's when I realized how close we were, faces only inches apart, and I remembered how we had left things.Â
I went to America a few days after we had fooled around on our bus. Well, fooled around was the wrong thing to say. It was more than fooling around, that much had been made clear.Â
"Adam..." I licked my lips, trying not to stare at his too obviously.Â
"What? Nothing to say? That's a first," he snarked back, face distorted into an ugly glare.Â
"It's you who has to say something, not me. I'm not a mind reader god damn it. Just spill it!"
Adam stared back, clearly debating whether he should say something or not. His need to get it out of his system won eventually.
"You wanna know what's going on? Why don't you tell me? It's not like I've heard from you in the past weeks. Except for the trashy  magazines of course. Tell me, how's Dita doing?" he glared daggers at my face, still impossibly close.Â
"Dita? What...," I was confused, until I remembered, laughing it off "Oh! you mean that thing about me dating her?"Â
"Yeah, that thing about you dating her!"Â
"That was just...are you jealous, Adam?" I smirked, pleased with myself, "I didn't know you cared so much."
"Stop throwing that damn Casanova shit at me. I fucking know you. Drop the act and give it to me straight!"
I chuckled, amused by the pun Adam had made without realizing it. If he only knew, we wouldn't even be having this argument right now.Â
"Come on, mate. That was just some publicity stunt. We got exposure in America and she got some in England in return. Nothing to worry your pretty little head with-"
"Well you'd think my pretty little head was important enough to fucking inform about our marketing stunts! I haven't heard a word from you since you took off on that god damned plane!" he was breathing hard now, his usual cool exterior replaced by a seething madman.Â
"Oh come on, babe," Adam turned his head away at the endearment "it was just something Matt cooked up in that twisted little brain of his. You know how it is. I rarely agree with his methods but they work. Eventually."
Adam's eyes softened only a fraction.
"Hey..." I said softly, moving my hands from the chair to his face, caressing my thumbs over his cheekbones, "I'd never do that to you. You know I wouldn't."
"I don't know anything anymore, that's the problem," he mumbled in return, visibly deflating before my eyes.
"What don't you know? That I want you? I thought your dick in my hands took care of that."
"You still want me?" he muttered, so quiet I wasn't even sure I heard him right.Â
"What the fuck...of course I still want you! What did you think? That I'd just...what's wrong with you?" I was hurt now. Didn't he trust me at all? After all these years? I stood up straight, removing my hands from the chair, retreating back to my coat.Â
"Okay, I'll leave," the hurt clear in my voice, "just...call me when you're ready to talk, yeah?"
Adam's eyes flickered up at me as I shuffled towards the exit, probably looking like a puppy who'd been kicked one too many times.
"Wait," a soft voice stopped me before I could close the door behind myself, "I don't...I didn't really think you'd do it. I was just hurt, and alone. I'm not used to being alone anymore."
"Me neither," I stopped at the door, not knowing whether I should leave or go back.
"You just never really said what you wanted out of this thing so-"
"Don't call it that!" I growled, only now understanding how bad it sounded, more than I had when I'd said it myself.
"Adam...that’s just how i am, you should know this by know. Remember Freddy? I couldn’t even commit to a fucking goldfish without him dying on me a week into our relationship. And you expect me to known how to deal with a real live person?”
“Not just any person. Me! You should know how to deal with me. Cause I do remember. I was at his funeral for fuck sake. A funeral for a bloody goldfish…you were mad then and you’re even crazier now," he almost smiled at the end.
“is that a smile, Adam? Are you smiling?” I teased, trying to coax another one out of him.
“No,” Adam reassembled his grumpy face and went back to his computer, long fingers running over the keys until I couldn’t even follow what he was doing anymore.
“Come on, man,” I sighed, “you know…you know it’s you. It’s always been you. Why do you think I gave you my e-mail address in front of that shithole they called a club? And why do you think I made you sleep on the couch all the time when we lived together?”
“Cause you’re a princess?” Adam gruffed, his tone a bit lighter but still skeptical.
“No, that’s you Adam, remember,” I smirked, “No, I made you sleep there cause I was hoping you’d get fed up and join me in the bed. Cause I was too shitscared to do anything myself. Cause you’ve always been the brave one in this…whatever this is we are to each other. And I’m the one who talks too much about unimportant things and never shares anything meaningful, that’s what you’re meant to do. But you didn’t do it, so I left.”
“Never share anything meaningful? That’s a bull, judging by your little speech…”Adam smirked, turning towards me just a fraction, still not fully though.Â
He sighed, fidgeting with his fingers the way I always did.Â
"Picking up my habits there, mate?" I smirked.
Adam lifted his head in confusion, following my gaze to his hands, smiling unintentionally after he realized what he was doing.Â
"Don't change the subject," he snarked with a smirk before growing serious again.Â
"I said what I could. Now it's your turn."
He fell into a deep thought before opening his mouth, closing it again with a frown. He looked at me, my open expression, hand still on the doorhandle. He pushed himself out of the chair and crossed the floor, stopping only when our toes were touching, noses almost brushing.Â
"You wanna know what I think?" he muttered, his hot breath ghosting over my lips, "I think you've been away too damn long. And I don't like those Californian girls."
He paused before saying what he really meant, "It think you should kiss me."
I turned to face him, slowly, throwing my coat back on the couch. I pretended to seriously consider his offer, a little payback for the speech he had forced me to make, before practically attacking his face.Â
I grabbed his head between my hands and captured his lips in one, deep, wet kiss, putting everything I couldn't say into my actions. We parted with a soft wet sound, my eyes opening to a breathless Adam in front of me, his tongue running over the spit that was still clinging to his lips. I smiled and relished the fact that his eyes never left mine. I went back in for a softer kiss this time, pecking his lips, waiting for him to take the lead again. He did so with an annoyed grunt, his hands flying to my waist, immediately finding my skin underneath the dress shirt I was wearing. He was right. It really had been too damn long.Â
"I'm so sorry," I muttered between kisses, walking him backwards towards the couch.Â
"For what?" he sounded so deliciously out of breath.Â
"For not calling," my lips worked against his, "for hurting you. For giving you the totally ridiculous idea that I didn't want you."
I emphasized the last part. Cause let's face it, it was borderline insane. Adam chuckled in return. Oh how I'd missed that sound.
"You sound like a chick."
"Make up your mind, boy," I drawled out a hillbilly accent some actor I didn't remember the name of had taught me, "am I a yankee or am i a girl?"
"Both," he bared his teeth in a broad smile, biting my lip.Â
"Bastard," I growled, pushing him down on the couch, falling on top of him.Â
It came so easily back to us, like the previous weeks hadn't even happened. His hands caressed my back, nails scratching lightly at my skin, raising goosebumps. I left soft kisses on his jaw, the corner of his mouth, finally capturing his lips again. Our legs were tangled, bodies flush together, leaving no doubt we were both very into it. I hooked a finger behind his suspenders, dragging them off his shoulders, snapping one back just for fun, getting a startled "Ouch, you bitch!" out of Adam. I laughed against his mouth, getting rid of my own jacket in the mean time. I huffed in annoyance when I lowered myself back onto his chest. The layers between us were infuriating. I wanted to feel every inch of him, count every freckle, maybe even mark him. A couple of bitemarks where no one but me will ever see them?Â
"Fuck this," I gruffed, sitting up and almost ripping off his shirt and pants. I did the same to myself, feeling Adam's eyes on me the whole time. It reminded me of the time on the bus, the time he had practically forced me to strip while he watched. I winked at him, sporting the most shit-eating grin I could manage, faltering as he answered with biting at his lips. That was just evil.Â
I dove down again, sighing in contentment when I felt the hot softness of Adam's skin against mine. He pushed one of his legs between mine, applying pressure on my cock, his hips hiking up in search for the same. The boxer briefs that separated us were nowhere near thick enough to keep us from feeling every inch of each other. I buried my head in the crook of Adam's neck as we rutted against each other and smothered the little moans that threatened to breach my lips. There was no one here to hear us, but I was embarrassed. I felt like a teenager, able to get off just from rubbing myself on someone.Â
Adam hugged his arms around my neck, his lips brushing my shoulders as his hips twitched up into mine. I caressed my fingers down his sides, gripping his hips and grinding down harder, letting our a muffled moan against his skin.Â
"Too much..." I mumbled, incoherent even to my own ears.Â
Adam stilled underneath me, making me whine in frustration.Â
"D'you want me to stop?" he sounded as breathless as I was.Â
"Stop? What a...no you st'pid bitch! I want you to take those d'mn shorts off!" I growled out, clawing at the flimsy piece of dark cloth.Â
Adam chuckled, untangling his arms from my neck and shimmying out of his briefs. He grinned up at me, blushing a little when I couldn't concentrate on his face for longer that a few seconds at a time, his bare body taking up most of my attention.
"Why don't you take a picture, it will last longer," he grumbled out, his freckled forehead frowning up.Â
I managed to drag my eyes up to his face to answer, "can I? Cause that would be amay-"
"Don't you dare! I know how nosy your mother is. And she's the only person in your family who I actually like. Don't ruin it for me!" he looked scandalized, starting to move his hands to cover himself before I grabbed his wrists and pinned them on his stomach.
"But you like me too, right?" I murmured, nuzzling his neck, a content smile adoring my lips.Â
"I absolutely hate you right now," he said with a serious face, making me raise my head with a frown. That's when he burst out laughing and twisted his arms free of my grasp.Â
"You are so easy to fuck with, babe. It's not even a challenge anymore," he laughed out loud, infecting me as well, before his searching fingers found the waistband of my boxers and swooped them down with one bold move. I had to drag them over my knees myself because I was reluctant to let Adam out from under me, therefore constricting his reach remarkably.Â
"Shut'up," I muttered, wrapping and arm around his neck for better leverage, sighing at the first contact. He was soft and hard at the same time, silky skin sliding against me as we moved together. Soft sighs filled the room, never travelling much further than the brush of our lips. I tried to hold my eyes open, to watch as his expressions changed, content to thoughtful, pained to blissful. I could almost see his pupils dilating and constricting according to every little mood change, like he wasn't quite sure if he should be intent or letting go.Â
"Stop thinking," I huffed, driving the thought home with a hard thrust.
" 'm not!" he whined, his back arching a little off the couch.
"I can almost hear it," I said, suddenly sure on getting his brain to get with the program. I was usually the one whose mind couldn't shut up, I knew how it sucked when you couldn't stop analyzing every little detail, every touch. Is my hand in the right place? Did I do that too hard? Did he even like that?Â
For once I acted without thinking, lifting my hips and guiding myself between his thighs. My cock slid down between them, touching places we hadn't discovered yet, forcing Adam to catch his breath.Â
"Holy f'k!" he grunted, his eyes squeezing shut, his hips stuttering up in reflex. I wasn't much better myself, my mouth gaped open, little buffs of hot air hitting his chest where my head had fallen. I tried to be gentle, not pushing the boundaries even more than I already had. It was weird, being pushy with him. Until now it had always been him, kissing me, touching me, ever the initiator. He seemed to like losing the control for a change though, if his eager whines were any indication. He wrapped his legs around my waist, bringing us closer together, his cock trapped between our stomachs, getting friction with each of my thrusts.Â
He was so close, closer than I was, and he noticed, even through the haze. He brought his legs down, grabbing my ass to keep me close as he closed his thighs, trapping my cock between them. I choked at the sudden pressure I had been lacking until now, buckling into the heat surrounding me, revelling in the feel of his blunt nails digging into my ass. If his plan was to make me come, he was well on his way to succeeding.Â
I sped up, moaning shamelessly, finally letting go. My mouth found the closest thing to it, my teeth pressing down on his nipple, my tongue darting out for a taste. His fingers pulled at my hair, pushing me against him at the same time.Â
I lost my rhythm, my hips stuttering randomly, twitching as electricity ran through every nerve in my body.Â
I sat up abruptly, moving to straddle his hips, bringing our cocks together and bumping them, my numb fingers fumbling on every upstroke. Adam was startled but collected himself quickly. Although...collected was not the word I would've chosen to describe him at the moment. He was spread out under me, his light skin blotched red in places, his hooded eyes darting between my face and down to my hand. His wet tongue slipped out to lick his lips, my eyes tracking its movements.Â
"Ad'm...I'm..." I couldn't even construct a proper sentence anymore. So I just conveyed what I meant by thrusting into my own hand, sliding against him, his nails digging into my hips borderline painfully. He nodded sharply, his eyes closing, his head tilting back, baring the wide expanse of his neck to me. I dove in, latching onto his pulse that was thudding rapidly, leaving one mark in a place that couldn't be hidden so easily.Â
Adam's body went rigid underneath me, hot liquid pouring over my knuckles as he came between us with a whine. My hand spread it over us both, the thought sending me over the edge as well, adding to the mess. I bit down on the spot I was sucking on, pushing all the hopes of it not leaving a mark out of the freaking window.Â
"Holy shit," I mumbled against his skin when my brain finally resumed it's normal functions.Â
He huffed in response, patting my ass, chuckling as I let out a protesting grunt.Â
"You missed Christmas," he said quietly, his hand sliding over the spot he had slapped.Â
I sighed, feeling the guilt return with a vengeance.Â
"I know...I'm sorry. I planned on at least calling but...I don't know what happened. Maybe we should make our own Christmas party," I suggested, raising my head and settling my jaw on his chest, looking up at him with a smile, "like, exchanging presents and drinking that awful eggnog that other people love so much, and then have sex under the Christmas tree."
I winked at him, smirking my dirtiest smile.Â
"Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that sounds? The thorns would get everywhere and.." he shuddered in mock disgust, not quite able to swipe the smile off his lips.Â
"Well, in front of the fireplace then. I have lots of blankets," I waggled my eyebrows at him. He slapped the back of my head, laughing out loud, something I had tried working towards since the first time I stepped into the studio earlier. I grinned from ear to ear, but growing serious suddenly.
"We don't have a shower here, do we?"
