I sub the blog toxic tik toks. in an accessibility

way not a gay way seriously though if you're hearing impaired and you have tips for how I can do it better please let me know!

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Now is a good time to mention I won’t sub anything DDLG or anything else pedophilia related.

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[A beat plays in the background, over which the person reads out the names for boobies] Person: Breasts, honkerz, bazongers, knockers, bongos, tatas, titties, tits, rack, papas, bosom, bazookas, boobers, tatas majores, mammary glands, bazooms, baps, tig ol’ biddies, chesticles, bazoombas, cha chas, hunka hunkas, awooga boogas, badonkers, dobonhonkeros. hadonkadonkas, milkers, tetas, titty tity boing boing. I said titty tity boing boing.

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[Funkytown plays faintly in the background]

Narrator: So one of the things I hate about my brother is that he hogs the bathroom in the morning, (probably because it takes so long to wash and dry his Skrillex hair). So I decided I wanted to change that. So in school we learned about this guy who was able to train dogs to drool to the sound of a bell by ringing a bell each time he showed food. So I decided I wanted to try something similar on my brother. So basically my plan was to place this Perry the platypus thing in my bathroom every day before he woke up, and then I would hide somewhere in there to scare him, so then eventually he’d associate Perry the platypus with getting scared, and he wouldn’t come into the bathroom as long as it was there. So I actually only had to do this for a couple days and, good news! As long as Perry the platypus is there, my brother won’t even set foot in there.

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“POV: you’re an artist drawing in class”

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Person, in monotone, deep, voice: Woah, you’re an artist? You draw? You should draw... me. [suddenly angry] In fact... you have twenty seconds to draw me. Your compliance is-

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Person A, lipsyncing to Jules Vaugn from Euphoria over a beat: What a fucking pussy.

Person B, lipsyncing to the instrumentals: [Horn noise]

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Person behind camera: What are your thoughts on LGBTQ plus rights?

Kitten: [The most adorable little meow followed by another one after grabbing the camera]

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[No audio until the phone opens the rhythm game, at which point “We Are Number One” from lazytown begins playing]

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Person in flannel: Hey, oh my gosh why are you crying? [pause] Your boyfriend broke up with you? [Neighs] Don’t worry, I’ll handle him. Don’t worry, I have the power of Star Clan on my side!!!! [To someone off camera, loudly] ARE YOU HER BOYFRIEND???? [revs like a horse and then screams]

[emergency-broadcast-archive]

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Kid on far left: You know what the fuck it do, what it do baby?

[intense, fast music as the middle person dances]

Kid, shocked: I keep doing that.

[Sad music as person on left sits sad in blue lighting]

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[6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj’s TROLLZ plays in background]

Both people lipsynching to Minaj’s verse: Dollar, dollar bill, come get her Even your man know Nickis do it better

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Voices in their head: Race to the coffee table, if you don’t make it in five seconds you die 1 2 3 4- oh, girl!

Person, in a pleasant tone: No, I made it!

Voices: No, you didn’t-

Person: You just counted fast, I made it!

Voices: Ok, may- Yeah, maybe, alright.

Person: Ok.

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[When Veruca Says from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Musical plays]

Mr Salt: What did sweet Veruca say?

Woman, lipsynching to Veruca: Daddy?

Salt: yes?

Woman, lipsyncing: Buy me North Korea!

Salt: Ugh... When Varuca says...

Woman, lipsynching: Buy!

Salt: It’s like a battle cry! And when Varuca says...

Woman, lipsynching: Mine!

Salt: I've jelly for a spine... And if Varuca said...

Woman, lipsynching: Please?

Salt: I’d know it

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the serotonin this gives me..........immaculate

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Cosplayer, in a Miss Frizzle impression: Oh my gosh, hi! You’ve made it to Frizz talk. Nice to meet you, I’m the Frizz. You’ve probably seen me before. Uh, if you haven’t, nice to meet you! This is Liz. You look so nice today! Has anybody told you that already? Well, I’m telling you now. Take a snack for your journey, it’s Cutie, high in vitamin C, also fun- fun sized, ya know, just like you! Ok, well, happy scrolling, uh, see you later, if I don’t, have a beautiful day! Goodbye!

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yeah this ain’t it at all

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Narrator: 24 hours ago, I not only announced the official name of our cult, but I also asked you guys to change your profile picture to this. And in just 24 hours, we’ve had thousands of people change their profile pictures, including Reiter Grace, and we even already have enemies. Not to mention, we’ve confused thousands of strangers. Words cannot describe how proud I am of our power. The devil works hard, but step-chickens works harder.

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poisons my sister for the sake of creating clickbait for three year olds

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Woman: Lunch prank on my sister! This PB and J might look real, but really, it’s one slimy meal. So Jelly! Time to spread on the bread. This is one rude food!

[babyfairy]

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[Silence until dragonfly lands on her nose, followed by splashing and the woman attempting to blow away something from her face]

[babyfairy]

the way her thighs peeled apart .

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Woman, lipsyncing to audio of a man: I just wanna FUCK... ing cuddle with somebody. Oooh!