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THE STORY THAT ARRIVED WHOLE AND FULLY FORMED IN MY FEVERISH MIND AS I STRUGGLED THROUGH COVID FOR THE FIRST TIME, (ABOUT A TYRANNOSAURUS THAT ARRIVES INTO MY HOME BONE BY BONE AS A SURPRISE)

FIRST ONE BONE APPEARED. AND THEN ANOTHER. A MYSTERY, BUT NOT YET INCONVENIENT. BUT THEN EACH NIGHT ANOTHER BONE ARRIVED. FRIGHTENED, AND CROWDED, HE MOVED INTO THE ROOM NEXT DOOR

ONE MORNING, AFTER SEVERAL NIGHTS OF IGNORING THE UNIGNORABLE, HE GREW CURIOUS, AND PEAKED IN

AN ENORMOUS EYE GLARED BACK OUT AT HIM

HE COULD SEE SPIDERY SINEWS AND FLESHLETS BEGINNING TO APPEAR ON SOME OF THE BONES AND, CROWDED THOUGH THEY WERE IN SUCH A SMALL SPACE, THEY HAD BEGUN MANUVEURING INTO THEIR MORE FINAL ARRANGEMENTS. WHAT HAD BEGUN AS PIECES/PARTS WAS INEVITABLY GOING TO ELABORATE ITSELF INTO THE GREAT BEAST OF HISTORY!

HE REGARDED THE EYE AND THOUGHT OF WAYS TO KILL IT.

BUT HOW DO YOU KILL A PANDIMENSIONAL DEMON WHO HAS APPEARED TO WASH CASUALLY INTO THE SHORE OF YOUR REALITY?

LIKE DRIFTWOOD FROM PREHISTORY

DOES HE HAVE ANY VULNERABILITIES?

HE SAW THE NASCENT WORM OF A TONGUE GENTLY THRASHING IN ITS CAGE AND AN IDEA STRUCK

HE GAVE IT CANDY!

A FIRELIGHT CAME ON IN THAT HUGE ORB, THE MOMENT THE SUGAR HIT THE TONGUE

HE HAD MEANT TO USE THE CANDY TO LURE THE BEAST SOMEWHERE

TO ITS DOOM PROBABLY (EX. CLIFF. OTHER EX. TAR PIT)

BUT NOW THERE WAS A PROBLEM

THE BEAST LIKED CANDY

AND THATS A BABY'S BEHAVIOUR

AND BABIES CANNOT BE BAD

THEREFORE THE BEAST CANNOT BE BAD AND SHOULD BE SPARED

AN INCONVENIENT ENTHYMEME!

ANYWAY THATS HOW I INVENTED THE 80 LB JAWBREAKER AND MADE MY FIRST MILLION IN THE CIRCUS

#POEM POETRY DINOSAUR EXTRADIMENSIONAL BEASTLET CANDY

LESSER KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ME AND ALSO MAYBE MY BONES:

I WAS BORN INTO A LITTER OF PUPPY DOGS, A PERFECTLY FORMED HUMAN BABY, BUT SMALLER

ONLY AS BIG AS MY DOG-BRETHREN

MY MOTHER LICKED ME, GRIMACED, THEN CEASED TO PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME

FAVORING INSTEAD THE WELFARE OF HER OTHER PROGENY

LUCKILY I WAS ABLE TO MARSHAL SAID PROGENY TO MY WILL

I MAY HAVE BEEN THE RUNT, BUT I WAS KING RUNT

THEY DID EVERYTHING FOR ME

CARRIED ME AROUND, STOLE FOOD AND BLANKETS FOR ME, PROTECTED ME WITH SMALL, EAGER BARKS

IN RETURN I TOLD THEM TINY STORIES THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND BUT NONETHELESS SEEMED FASCINATED BY

MANY OF THEM COULD NOT SLEEP BUT THAT I WHISPERED THEM MADE UP TALES OF MY EXPLOITS

AND SO IT WENT UNTIL I BECAME AGILE AND CUNNING ENOUGH TO SCALE ANY OBSTACLE,

OVERCOME THE COMMON HOUSEHOLD ADVERSITIES AROUND US

AND WENT LOOKING FOR NEW SPECIES OF THEM OUTSIDE THE HOUSE

I BEGAN TO TRANSFORM THOSE BEDTIME ADVENTURES I EARLIER USED AS LULLABYS FOR MY BROTHERS

INTO MEMOIRS FOR THE AGES...

ONE TIME A CAT TRIED TO EAT ME BUT I REMEMBERED MY TRAINING

I GAVE SUCH A FIERCE IMPRESSION OF A BARKING DOG

THAT HE INSTANTLY RESPECTED ME AND GAVE ME SOME OF HIS FOOD

LATER WE BECAME FRIENDS AND TRAVELLED TOGETHER

BUT THAT FIRST MEETING WAS MARKED BY THAT SPECIAL CHARACTER OF CONFLICT

WHICH DEFINES DOG AND CAT RELATIONS

ONE TIME I WAS CLIMBING A TREE BRANCH AND HAD SCALED A GREAT HEIGHT

WHEN SUDDENLY I WAS LIFTED BY THE TALONS OF A PREDACIOUS BIRD!

I'M EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THE MORE SOBER AND REASONABLE RESPONSE: FEAR

ESCAPED ME AND THAT INSTEAD I FELT ONLY AND IMPOSSIBLY THRILLED

HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME WAS THE WHOLE WORLD BEFORE ME!

A MIRACLE TO BE LIFTED FROM THE VANTAGE IN WHICH ONE HAS BEEN TRAPPED THEIR WHOLE LIFE

AND PROVIDED WITH A NEW, MORE EXPANSIVE SCOPE

AND IN THE END THIS WAS JUST WHAT I WANTED WITH THE CLIMBING OF THE TREE, ONLY BETTER

OF COURSE THE BIRD MEANT TO EAT ME

WHICH I COULD NOT ALLOW

SO I BEGAN TO TICKLE HIM

A LITTLE EARLY AND WITHOUT THE NECESSARY FORETHOUGHT EITHER

FOR, AS I MENTIONED, WE HAD ASCENDED A GREAT DEAL INTO THE SKY

WELL THE BIRD, AS CAN BE EXPECTED, RELAXED HIS TALONS

AND I, ARMED WITH NOTHING BUT A LEAF I HAD HASTILY GRABBED RIGHT BEFORE BEING SNATCHED

BEGAN MY DESCENT

LUCK IS LESS CRUCIAL WHEN YOU'VE MADE FRIENDS WITH PHYSICS,

AND I THOUGHT FONDLY OF MY LONG HOURS SPENT READING TEXTBOOKS

ENCYCLOPAEDIAS AND THE LIKE BY FLASHLIGHT

AS I HELD THE LEAF SUCH AS A PARACHUTE

AND FLOATED AWAY TO FREEDOM

IN MY EXPERIENCE IT CAN BE USEFUL TO CULTIVATE A LITTLE LEISURE INTO YOUR TIME

AS A ROUTINE

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT INVENTIONS BOREDOM MIGHT MOTHER OR WHEN

WELL THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

I GUESS ILL TALK ABOUT MY BONES AND THEIR SPECIAL PROPERTIES NEXT TIME

tphd

IN 2018 OPTIMISM FEELS BOTH RECKLESS AND NECESSARY

eurobenvolio

2021

ROMANCE

ROMANCE I FEEL LIKELY TO COMMIT A ROMANTIC CRIME FOR YOU SUCH AS BUST YOU OUT OF TINY JAIL WHERE YOU WERE PUT FOR THE CRIME OF BEING TINY OR STEAL A SNAKE'S HISS RIGHT OFF HIS TONGUE SO I CAN TICKLE YOUR EAR IN A BRAND NEW WAY I COULD ARRANGE A PARADE OF FINGERS DOWN YOUR BACK OR AN OILSLICK OF TONGUES I COULD PAY A WOLF TO TEACH ME HOW TO HOWL AT THE MOON BUT I DO IT AT YOU INSTEAD I LEARN TO HOWL IN SUCH A WAY IT LOOKS LIKE IM RELEASING THE HOWL FROM INSIDE ONE OF MY BONES (I KEEP A SPARE HOWL IN MY BACK LEG AND A TINY SCREAM IN MY TAIL JUST IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY WHERE I NEED TO EXPRESS MY LONGING FOR YOU) I FEEL CERTAIN THERE IS AT LEAST ONE DOG ON THE MOON HE LIVES THERE AND ONE DAY MAYBE I WILL TAKE YOU TO VISIT WE CAN SEE IF HE KNOWS ANY TRICKS AND HAVE A PICNIC ON THE MOON WHICH SOUNDS NICE I HAVE GODZILLA FEELINGS FOR YOU IM GOING TO LAY AN IRRADIATED EGG AND REST MY HAUNCHES ON IT AS A TYPE OF FLIRTING ONLY YOU AND I CAN UNDERSTAND AND WHEN THE IRRADIATED EGG HATCHES OUT WILL COME OUR NEW GODZILLA SON WHO WILL EAT US FOR BREAKFAST BEFORE STOMPING BOLDLY OFF INTO THE IRRADIATED SUNRISE OF HIS NEW HUGE LIFE

#LOVE #POEM #POETRY #ROMANCE #GODZILLA

WRETCHED INVENTION: A TOMATO BLOWPOP WITH OLIVE OIL IN THE CENTER

DREAMS DREAM ONE, WHICH ARRIVED DURING A SHORT, HOT DAYTIME NAP OF ONLY 15 OR 20 MINUTES THE CAMERA IS ABOVE ME, FRAMING A PRETTY SCENE: A CLEAN TABLE, WITH A PLAIN CLOTH AND A BOWL OF SOUP. I AM THERE, AND I AM VERY METICULOUSLY SPOONING OUT THE SOUP, BUT NOT IN THE REGULAR WAY. INSTEAD I DIP A SPOON INTO THE BOWL, FILL IT WITH SOUP, THEN PLACE IT PRECISELY BUT TENDERLY ONTO THE TABLE. I HAVE ACQUIRED SPOONS, THE NUMBER OF WHICH IS SEEMINGLY SUFFICIENT TO DETERMINE EXACTLY HOW MANY SPOONS OF SOUP ARE IN ONE BOWL, AND I AM FEELING A POWERFUL URGE TO WITNESS THIS ARRANGEMENT, SO THAT I MIGHT MORE FULLY UNDERSTAND THE BOWL'S VOLUME, THE SPOON'S NATURE, AND THE DELICATE NEGOTIATION THAT OCCURS BETWEEN THEM DURING THE PROCESS OF: LUNCH. I SPOON OUT ENOUGH TO EMPTY THE BOWL. THE TABLE IS COVERED IN SPOONS OF SOUP, ALL PRECISELY LAID OUT WITH RESPECT TO ONE ANOTHER, ALL READY AND WAITING. SOME LATER SPOONS STILL STEAMING. I BEGIN TO PICK UP THE SPOONS AND CONSUME THE SOUP. I FOR SOME REASON FEEL LIKE I AM PLAYING A CHURCH ORGAN BUT THERE IS NO SOUND. I EAT THE TINY SOUPS, ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE MOSTLY GONE COLD. DREAM TWO ARRIVED IN THE DRUNKEN NIGHTTIME I'M UP IN THE HIGH, HIGH BLEACHERS. THERE ARE A LOT OF RECURRING VENUES IN MY DREAMS, AND HIGH BLEACHERS IN VARIOUS PUBLIC AMPHITHEATRICAL SPACES IS ONE OF THEM. THERE IS A STAGE DOWN BELOW AND A FRIEND IS ON IT, DOING STAND UP. HE TELEPORTS SUDDENLY UP INTO THE BLEACHERS AND BEGINS LAUGHING MADLY, WITH A HALF-BROKEN VOICE. EVERYONE IS ALARMED, AND HIS DISTRESSED, MANIACAL OUTBURST HAS WHOLLY CAPTURED OUR PREVIOUSLY SOMEWHAT DIVIDED ATTENTION. HE SEEMS TO BE IN FITS AND AT THE APEX OF THE CYCLE, HE TELEPORTS AGAIN TO A WHOLE NEW SPOT IN THE BLEACHERS. WE SWIVEL OUR HEADS, FOLLOW HIM AROUND THE ROOM, COLLECTIVELY STUNNED. I WAKE UP FEELING CONCERNED.

TWO MONTHS OF SHELTERING IN PLACE HAS RELEASED ME FROM A POSTURE I'D BEEN HOLDING FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS WITHOUT FULLY BEING AWARE OF IT I CAME BACK TO MY JOB TO REALIZE: I DO NOT WANT A JOB JOBS ARE BAD INSTEAD OF A JOB I SHOULD INVENT SOMETHING WHAT COULD I INVENT? THE OTHER DAY I INVENTED A SMOOTH WORM THAT'S THE SAME DIAMETER AS A SLEEVE OF OREO COOKIES--HE OPENS HIS LIL WORM MOUTH AND SLIDES ONTO THE COOKIES AND THAT'S HOW HE GETS SEGMENTED UMM...WHAT ABOUT A DIFFERENT WORM THAN THE FIRST WORM, HE'S GOT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT QUALITIES EXCEPT THAT HE'S ALSO A WORM SO THERE ARE STILL SOME THINGS HE HAS IN COMMON WITH THE COOKIES WORM SUCH AS: TUBE, WIGGLING, ETC HE COULD...UH....HE COULD CHEW DIRT LIKE A NORMAL WORM BUT HE DOES IT WHILE FROWNING THAT'S A NOVELTY ARE THESE GOOD YET CAN I LIVE PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK TO MY JOB I HATE IT (YES I KNOW I AM LUCKY TO HAVE A JOB)

#JOBS #JOB #NO THANK YOU #NO THANKS

AN ALPHABET

#ALPHABET #LETTERS #HAND DRAWN

SMALL COMIC

#STINKY MAN #STINKY DOG #COMIC #DOG

nostalgebraist

I live right by the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone in Seattle. For those reading from further away – it’s important to keep in mind what the past week has been like in this area.

Every night, the cops would attack peaceful protestors after it got dark. The violence was apparently pointless, was often completely unprovoked and massively disproportionate when provoked, and seemed almost perversely dedicated to eroding any remaining public trust in the police.

Day after day of events like

- “tear gas is wafting into nearby people’s apartments, it made someone’s baby wake up foaming at the mouth,” or

- “you know how, after people were furious about the tear gas, the mayor and police chief declared the police would not use CS gas for 30 days? well, it’s been less than 48 hours, and they just used CS gas again”

- “out of nowhere, a guy drove madly into the cop/protestor standoff and shot someone, and the protestors did more to stop and apprehend him than the cops” (see also here, etc.)

Events of this kind became almost surreally predictable, not in their details, but in their shape: no matter how badly the police are behaving, they’re going to hit a new low tomorrow. If they seemed indefensible today, they’ll somehow make themselves into even more clear-cut villains tomorrow. (Example: the night after the “tear gas ban,” they used OC gas, whereas technically the ban was limited to CS gas – and the night after that, they abandoned all pretenses and used CS gas again.)

No one understood why the cops did what they did. In press conferences and the like, the mayor and police chief contradicted themselves from day to day and sometimes seemed to be unfamiliar with the basics of the previous night’s news. The city council was baffled, everyone was baffled – the cops even found an odd, tangential way to piss off the Seattle School District in the process of doing all this other stuff.

When the cops left the precinct two days ago, all of that stopped. I don’t mean to sound like the protest isn’t important anymore, or something like that, but “a continuous peaceful protest is happening in your area” is … well, a lot more compatible with ordinary life and work than than “you now live in a warzone where the city attacks its citizens every night.”

Right now it doesn’t feel like some new group has come in and “taken over.” Really, it’s the opposite. The very unwelcome group that “took over” last week – “took over” in terms of their new aggressive behavior if not in terms of literal physical presence – is finally gone.

curseworm

the fact that i am constantly saying strange and unpleasant things is just part of my charm

HERES A POEM I WROTE WHICH IM NOT GOING TO EDIT OR REVISE BECAUSE I DONT CARE ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING ELSE: I WANT LESS ACCESS TO INFORMATION ALL MY SKIN IS COMING OFF EVERY NEW FACT THAT TOUCHES ME CAUSES ME TO SCREAM OUT WITH TERRIBLE JOY I TELL MYSELF I LOVE THIS EVEN THOUGH IM PRETTY SURE IT ISNT TRUE HOW MANY FACTS DOES A PERSON NEED TO BE HAPPY 7? I SQUEEZE ALL THE EXCESS FACTS INTO MY PINKY AND CUT IT OFF A DOG EATS IT AND GETS POISONED WITH KNOWLEDGE AND BECOMES THE WORLDS FIRST SAD DOG I WISH I WAS A PIGEON THEY ARE COMPLETELY HOLLOW ON THE INSIDE EXCEPT SOMETIMES THERES A CHEETOH IN WHAT A WONDERFUL FEELING TO BE COMPLETELY CLEAN OF THE WORLD ABSENT OF ANY REFRACTIONS IDEAS OR OPINIONS FACTS ARE JUST OPINIONS SOMEONE CAST IN BRONZE SO THEY WOULD WEIGH DOWN THEIR BEARERS COLLECT ENOUGH FACTS TO GET ANCHORED AND THERE YOU ARE FOREVER ID RATHER BE A CHEETOH'S HOME ON THE WIND

#POEM #POETRY #TPHD #EPISTEMOLOGY

MOLECULAR EMPLOYMENT

AN AC UNIT IS A GREAT MOUTH THAT SCREAMS IN YOUR AIRBNB UNIT AT INTERVALS IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT STARTLING BUT NOT UNWELCOME AS IT IT HOT IN TEXAS AND YOU'VE BEEN ALONE IN YOUR THOUGHTS FOR SOME LONG AND UNMAPPED SERIES OF HOURS MY ONLY FRIEND IN THIS SPACE IS A MOUTH THAT SCREAMS ON MY SKIN AND I LUXURIATE IN THIS SCREAMING IM AN ORGAN IN A CELL WITH A SINGLE POROUS POINT AND ALL I WANT IS THE COOL AIR FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE TO TOUCH ME (I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS; AC UNITS DO NOT STEAL COLD AIR FROM ELSEWHERE, BUT ALLOW ME ANYWAY TO IMAGINE THE COLD AIR COMES FROM SOMEWHERE ROMANTIC THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ALMOST ANY SECTION OF SPACE CANADA) EVERY BODY IS A DISPLACEMENT WE ARE ALL IN THE TUB BETRAYING VOLUME AT EVERY MOMENT WE ARE PUSHING AGAINST THE WATER OF THE WORLD DRINKING IT IN TOO, OF COURSE WE ARE NOT MUCH, IN THE END BUT A SERIES OF MICROSCOPIC MOUTHS GULPING, SCREAMING BUT WE SHOULD FEEL PROUD ANYWAY THAT'S MY FEELING MOST MATTER IS INVOLVED IN LESS EXCITING BUSINESS AT THE VERY LEAST YOU ARE AN EXCITING JOB SITE FOR ATOMS WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

#POEM #POEM I DO NOT REMEMBER WRITING #TEXAS #AIR CONDITIONING #ATOMS

IF I FELT LIKE IT I COULD GROW ONE HAIR AS LONG AS A MILE OR MORE THAN A MILE AND IT WOULD BE A BIG PROBLEM EVEN FOR ME BUT WE'D ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT MAYBE IT'D EVEN BRING US TOGETHER REMIND US WE ARE ALL HERE NOW IN THIS MOMENT AS A COMMUNITY EVEN IF WE DON'T FEEL THAT WAY OFTEN IT'S NEVERTHELESS QUITE TRUE THAT OUR PHYSICAL BODIES PERSIST ALL WITHIN THE SAME LIGHTNING STRIKE OF TIME ARRIVED IN A FLICKER AND GONE IN A FLASH AND IF IT TAKES ME GROWING A NASTY HAIR SO LONG IT TANGLES MY NEIGHBOURS INTO A RAT KING SITUATION I'LL DO IT WITHOUT HESITATION OR COMPUNCTION BUT I MIGHT NEED TO UP THE AMOUNT OF PROTEIN I EAT IT ISN'T EASY AND I DON'T EAT THAT MUCH TO BEGIN WITH I'M NOT A MUSCLES MAN THAT SEEMS EXHAUSTING EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD THOUGH SOMETIMES I FANTASIZE ABOUT POPPING THEIR BODIES LIKE BALLOONS I'D USE A BROADSWORD I FEEL OR A TINY PIN WITH A MISCHIEVOUS GRIN ON MY BEAUTIFUL FACE WHILE I PUSH IT IN OK THANK YOU FOR READING

#long hair #dont care #poem #poetry

HERE'S A WORD I LEARNED THE OTHER DAY PASSERINE IT'S A TYPE OF BIRD. ACTUALLY IT'S A BROAD CATEGORY OF BIRD. ANY BIRD WITH THREE TOES FORWARD AND ONE TOE BACK. A SONGBIRD. MORE THAN HALF OF ALL BIRDS, REALLY. ALSO CALLED "PERCHING" BIRDS. WHAT A WORD THOUGH! PASSERINE SOUND LIKE A CITRUS FLAVORED ASPIC DISH FROM 1953. SLICES OF LOCAL ORANGE VARIETALS TRAPPED IN GORGEOUS JELLO--SHIVERING BRAVELY IN THE MIDCENTURY SUNLIGHT PASSERINE SOUND LIKE THE NAME OF A FRENCH YACHT, THE LETTERS ALL IN GOLD AGAINST THE WHITE OF THE HULL, BUT THE SAME GOLD IS CARRIED THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE ENTERPRISE TOO, IN FREQUENT BUT CONSIDERED ACCENTS, THE TILEWORK, THE INDENTATIONS OF THE WAINSCOTTING, THE CAPTAIN'S PEN, GLIMMERING WHILE HE SIGNS SUBSTANTIAL CHECKS TO THE CONTRACTORS WHO'VE HELPED BUILD HIS FLOATING MONSTROSITY, ETC PASSERINE SOUND LIKE A TYPE OF BLUE ONLY THE OCEAN COULD PRODUCE, IN THE BEAUTIFUL BUT DEADLY PARTS, THE INCONSTANT SHALLOWS, THE PART OF THE OCEAN CLOSEST TO SHORE BUT WITH THE HIGHEST BODY COUNT WORDS HAVE MEANINGS MORE OR LESS DETERMINED BY CONSENSUS BUT NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM APPENDING YOUR OWN RIDERS IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT. IT'S NOT EVEN ILLEGAL PASSERINE AN ANCIENT BOARD GAME WHICH USES BITS OF COLORED GLASS AS BEADS, THE EXACT OBJECT OF WHICH HAS NOT BEEN PRESERVED. ATTEMPTS HAVE BEEN MADE TO RECREATE THE GAMEPLAY BUT IT'S ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE LARGELY GUESSWORK GO AHEAD AND INVENT YOUR OWN IF YOU LIKE

#passerine #poem #false definitions

THERE'S A NEW SPECIES OF URGENCY INFORMING ALL OUR MOMENTS WHA, CLIMATE CH--NO IT'S THOSE HUGE GHOSTS THAT HAVE MOVED INTO THE TROPOSPHERE TO LEER AT US LIKE LECHEROUS CLOUDS WET, DIFFUSE, GHASTLY HUGE UNWANTED EYES WE SCURRY BENEATH THEM EAGER TO GET TO OUR NEXT APPOINTMENTS TO ESCAPE THEIR GAZE

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