spöklikt kattunge @transcendentdreamerdeer - Tumblr Blog

Posts

lessthan1000notes

The NEW tumblr

coolkid-702

What if from now on instead of porn I post things that hint at porn 😂

sincerelysir

On the Subject of Vulnerability

To whom it may concern,

Doms are painfully aware that they are imperfect. Shocking, I know. It can be a tricky thing to maintain the illusion of total control, and worse to utter those three terrible words- “I need help”. Ultimately because to accept assistance (especially from your submissive) is to allow a crack in the armor, to display…. vulnerability.  Something that Dominants, in my experience, are utterly unaccustomed to doing.  I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. Part of the experience of owning another human-being completely. I mean, It’s called “power exchange” for a reason people. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This problem is propagated in part by the myth that Dominants can’t be vulnerable, or worse, that because they are, they must not really be dominant. I couldn’t disagree with this perspective more, and it’s tied in with a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be in a power-exchange relationship. So I’ll start simple- What does it really mean to have a slave/submissive? The easy stereotypical answer is something like: “Well, I tell someone what to do, and she/he has to obey me.” Not even fucking close. Seldom do people consider beyond that most basic point. With a perspective like that it’s no wonder that some members of the community have trouble wrapping their heads around the idea of a vulnerable Dominant. Some follow up questions to put the simplicity of the (admittedly strawman) response above in perspective: -What if what you tell someone to do is dangerous, or wrong, or counterproductive? -What needs of your submissive are you fulfilling? How far do you have to go to fulfill those needs? They are presumably with you for a reason after all. -On that note! How do you meet their emotional, financial, social, physical, intellectual, or educational needs without draining yourself? A true BDSM relationship places a disproportionately heavy burden on the Dominant member to be a leader, teacher, provider, mentor, planner, and problem solver; and in exchange for their obedience a submissive is cared for. This is a relationship with a lot of moving parts. You cannot afford to refuse help, or to be dishonest about your occasional vulnerabilities (sickness, failure, fatigue). If you don’t recognize the dedication and hard work that it takes to have a submissive, and instead you deny the very real responsibility to be completely honest with your sub. Well, then all you are doing is role-playing. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just that kinky role-play is much simpler than a BDSM relationship, a “Dominant” in a short session or kinky sex can’t be vulnerable, it would spoil the mood… But, the Dominant in a real BDSM power-exchange relationship cannot maintain an impassible wall around him/herself forever. Not all problems have solutions, and life does not conform so easily to a simple bedroom-fantasy of a helpless sub and a powerful infallible Master. This is a hard thing to accept, but as far as I can see it is nothing more or less than the absolute truth of owning someone. Eventually a sub will need to be able to handle a Dom’s vulnerability, and the Dom will need to be able to express it. It strengthens the relationship rather than undermines it. So for my puppies, submissives, kittens, and slaves out there… prick up your ears. If a Dominant allows you to help him, in even the tiniest way, it’s an honor. If they shows that they are human, be amazed that your Master realizes that your BDSM relationship requires honesty and that he trusts you will remember your place in the face of it. In doing so, they have revealed a something in themselves that they would rather not be confronted with, much less reveal to others. But it is something that cannot be denied for long. Sincerely, Sir

sincerelysir

A new series that pairs classical Disney princesses with thematically appropriate fetishes. Promoting sexual inclusiveness, female empowerment, and positive kink! The intention is not to make porn, rather these pop-culture heroines are being used to demonstrate how conventional notions of sexual performance can be turned on their head. There is nothing shameful or inherently pornographic about ostensibly vanilla princesses in sexually expressive or traditionally masculine positions. ______________________________

Cinderella lived her life under the unfortunate care of her cruel stepmother and jealous stepsisters, who forced Cinderella to work as a scullery maid in her own home. The story, however, has a happy ending. She finds herself a prince charming who is dedicated to making her every dream come true.

________________________________

Servitude in BDSM is characterized by a submissive performing personal tasks for their partner.

Typically, in domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant. The submissive may serve as a butler, houseboy, assistant, or sometimes even slave.

The satisfaction of servitude is often combined with other fetishes, such as the pleasures of humiliation. A submissive may rub his or her dominant’s feet because the sub enjoys providing the service, has a foot fetish, or enjoys being “lower” than the dominant.

As with all fetishes you will see during the duration of the Disney Domme series, servitude falls on a broad spectrum of sexual orientation and gender identity. Please do not make unfair assumptions in the comments as to the sexual preferences of Cinderella or Prince Charming. They are fictional characters, and it’s just silly, really.

“Whatever you wish for, you keep.”

Find me on Twitter- @TopherStoll

w0lpert1nger-blog

‘There are no women in video games!’

‘Women in video games are always sexualized!’

‘If their main outfit isn’t sexualized, their alternate costumes are!’

‘Women in sports games never wear appropriate clothes! They just wear sexy outfits!’

‘Women are always damsels in distress and never know how to fight!’

‘Women in games are never allowed to be feminine!’

‘Women can never be main characters in games!’

‘And if they are, the ratings are never good!’

‘Women in games can only be masculine, they can’t use feminine attributes to their advantage!’

‘Women are never valuable party members!’

‘Women in video games are only interested in male partners or friends!’

‘Women in video games always dress as men, but men in video games never dress as women!’

‘No one ever likes a woman in a video game!’

‘Women in video games -’

Princess Peach has got you covered.

wantcookie

#Peach began as a basic damsel in distress #but over the years she’s become an iconic character in her own right #and I love that

the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202

In this house we stan Peach

wtpyrofreak

The closest she ever had to a sexy costume was in the Mario Strikers series, but even then it was pretty tame with just showing her midriff.

micaxiii

Fuck yeah, now we just need like a couple hundred more female characters this great to actually even out the playing field in any significant way.

lencore-deactivated20150427

what do you call a frog on a secret mission

derp-kitty

infrognito

medusabraids

i’m losing my fucking mind (x)

kscotter

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

newyorkcityhomo

THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME I CANNOT IM DONE

fourglasseyes

parparin-deactivated20230711

A man who used to be my Master attacked and beat me last night, after I left him. There were many reasons for my decision to end the relationship, but they are not important for what I would like to say here. I used to wear his scars on my skin with love and pride, devotion and great pleasure, just as I wore the collar he gave me. They were signs of our connection, my belonging to him, and complete trust with which I gave him my body and my soul. But before he could have my everything, he had to earn and receive the most important gift of all: MY CONSENT. That is something he did not have last night, the small detail he chose to forget. After I broke up with him, I told him very clearly that I did not want to see him again, and that I did not want him to ever touch me or contact me in any way. Last night he texted me an order to meet him outside to be punished. I refused and told him once again that we were over and that I did not want to see him. He found me when I was walking my dog. I was in a park, sitting on a stone wall, and was feeling really bad because of everything that happened. I felt scared, alone, and also quite week because I hadn’t eaten last days because of the stress of the brake up. He drove fiercely with his car, rushed to me, grabbed me by my throat and started choking me while leaning his face close into mine and saying: “Why are you doing this to us?!” He did choke me before, but it was from a calm and loving place when we were together, and never this hard and aggressive. I got really scared, because I couldn’t breathe, or even say anything. I felt how fragile the bones in my neck were under his fingers, I could feel him pushing on them. For a moment I thought that he would kill me by accident, and I thought of the people I love. He stopped when a women with her dogs passed by. Then he grabbed me by the face, squeezing my mouth and lips hard, and twisting my head. He hit me on my thigh with his fist several times, then ordered me not to move, as he run to his car to get the rod, and a rose branch to hit me. The thing is, something happened to me. I could not move. I could not speak. I lost myself completely, but not in a good way. He was my Master for a long time, he knew me more deeply than anybody in my whole life. He led me, healed me, hurt me, took care of me. He also loved me, and I loved him. When he ordered something I would obey. He took me to places from which I would not find my way out by myself. He was my love, my lover, my teacher, my master, my everything. I would write this in capital letters before, but now I can’t anymore. So I did not know how to make him stop, or how to behave to make it stop. In the days before this attack, he used against me every single secret, fear, uncertainty, shame that I opened for him, to hurt me, and he succeeded completely. I felt very broken by what he did, although the strong and brave part of me knew that it was wrong and that his words had no power in damaging me inside. Only hurting deeply. And I was determined to get over it, and start loving and respecting myself again. That was also the reason why I was in such a strange place when it all happened last night. When he came back form his car, he asked me to open the palms of my hands. The entire time this was happening, I could not look at him. I was completely frozen. I don’t think I even knew where my hands were in that moment. So he took my hands and opened them on my lap and started to hit me. I felt no pain. I just felt my tears running down my face and to my palms. I think it angered him that I did not scream, or fight, or flinch. He was saying, “Open them” Open them!”, and because I couldn’t, he hit me also on the bones of my thumbs, and it did hurt immensely, but only later. Now. When he was done, I stood up, I think I tried to go home. I took one step, then fainted. When I came to, I was in his arms on the ground, and he was crying and calling me. I wrestled out, and pushed him away. In that moment blood come rushing back into me, and I felt more alive, perhaps because I felt such great disgust for what he did to me. I then felt I would throw up, and was heaving, but could not, because my stomach was so empty, then started crying in sobs. My hands were trembling violently from the aftermath of the rod, my throat hurt, and my voice was harsh from the choking. My hair was full of leaves and grass, my pants were torn up, and my leg was bleeding. I then said that I wanted to go home. I asked him did he plan on beating me more, and he said that he wanted to take me to the emergency room. I said I wanted to go home, and he said that he would take me. I refused, so he said that he will walk behind me, only to make sure I was all right. My dog was so scared. She used to love him, but now she just ran around us lost, like me. He was going after me, but he kept talking and talking. His words were killing me, and I tried running, tried asking him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Then I was yelling, pleading that he would leave me alone, but he wouldn’t. When he continued, I grabbed the rose branch from him to hit myself with and told him that I preferred that to his words. Then he grabbed me tightly, and I struggled to get out of his arms. He was squeezing me and would not let go no matter what I did. I bit him, and pushed him, and then he hit me in the face, and I went down again. He helped me up, and I run home. I just run and run. What he did to me last night was abuse and violence. It is important that every Master/Dom, and every slave/sub understand that this what we go into is a relationship based on consent before all else. We belong to you completely, and are Yours to do as You please, but only because we give ourselves to You. You have no power over us other then the one we give to you. That is the beauty of it, and within this lays our safety. We can take it back.

fortheloveofasub

CONSENT IS MANDATORY AND NON-NEGOTIABLE

I am reposting the following with the express permission and consent of the author/victim who is a follower of mine. I feel compelled to do so partially out anger but also out of a sense of duty to those among my followers who are new to BDSM and/or the D/s lifestyle. I hope that by sharing this woman’s heartbreaking experience and my thoughts about it, you might be better prepared to guard against some similar future emotional and physical pain. And to Doms and wanna-be doms, take note, what follows is absolutely unacceptable and illegal behavior and an utter disgrace to the D/s community.

ON CONSENT

Consent, by its very nature, is at the core of Dominance and submission. Submission is an act of giving, not the act of having something taken. Submission is not subversion. Submission is earned, not coerced. When a submissive gives herself to a Dom, she is making a choice and exercising her will to give that same will over to another. It is a conscious decision and one that can and should have limits and boundaries attached to it. Most importantly, it is a decision that can be amended or rescinded at any time and for any reason.

Consent is also not black and white or all or nothing. Consent has many limitations and boundaries. When a submissive gives herself to a Dom she often does so completely but only within the confines of hopefully previously discussed boundaries, hard limits, and at all times with the escape clause of a safe word which MUST be respected at all times. Not everyone is as meticulous about understanding boundaries and limits as perhaps I am but there are some steps that I recommend partners take to be sure that the limits of consent are first and foremost understood.

I personally use a generic pre-scene questionnaire with a partner early in our relationship to help identify likes and dislikes, preferences, areas where things start to get a little murky and caution must be exercised, and hard limits. Without taking this step in any D/s relationship it is virtually impossible to know where the limits of consent actually are.

Dominance, by its nature, is a position of leadership and challenge to a submissive. A good Dom leads and draws out a submissive into wanting to follow through respect. He does not coerce, manipulate, or force. The problem is that Dominance has all the APPEARANCES of non-consent. It is play acting in a sense. Frequently, the partners in a D/s relationship are playing at seemingly non-consensual activities but within the confines of previously agreed to consent. No matter how much the “villain” lashes out at and takes advantage of the “damsel in distress” it is always with the complete consent of the submissive and within the confines of previously agreed to limits. The moment that consent is withdrawn via a safe word, or any other means, all pretense of power exchange or Dominance and submission STOPS INSTANTLY and the partners must approach one another as people and equals to address the matter at hand. Anything short of that is violence, assault, and battery.

This is especially important because when a submissive gives herself to her Dom, something inside her mind changes and her resources and ability to stand up to her Dom become somehow very different than with anyone else she encounters in life. This can be easily taken advantage of and abused by an unscrupulous or unstable “Dom.” Once a submissive gives herself over to a Dom the sound of his voice, the direction of his commands, can have a profound effect on her even when she does not want them to. When a Dom commands his sub, something inside of her snaps and she goes into submissive mode almost involuntarily. This is a phenomenon that is well understood in the D/s community and is at the core of why consent, safe words, and well-understood boundaries are so crucial and must be respected.

Most important of all though is the attitude, empathy, and stability of a Dom. If a “dom” is not completely in control of himself or has any sort of violent tendencies, anger or control issues, he is a danger to his submissive and no amount of withdrawal of consent, use of a safe word, or other socially understood efforts to remove oneself from his presence or the relationship will be respected. This is the same man who would be an abuser, a wife beater, or worse, in a vanilla relationship. The most frightening thing in the D/s world is the abuser who uses BDSM as a justification and cloak of respectability for their unacceptable attitudes and behaviors. These are not Doms; they are abusers, and must be avoided at all cost.

Tumblr and the online D/s world at large is full of submissives desperate for a Dom and wanna-be doms seeking submissives. In all the fervor, basic tenants of relationship building, of feeling one another out, getting to know one another, and the fundamental cautions anyone would apply to face-to-face dating or relationships seem to get thrown out the window. I personally have had followers virtually (digitally) throw themselves at my feet in a desire to submit. I find this very odd and more than a little scary (for them). My response is always more or less the same, “You don’t even know me…why would you propose to submit to me or anyone under those terms?”

Through all of these words I am saying to any prospective submissive or Dom, get to know one another. Build a level of understanding between you. Develop, over time, a level of trust and assurance that limits will be understood and respected. And above all, be sure, to the best of your ability, that there are no hidden personality flaws that could lead to loss of control, violence, and/or outright abuse, even in times of stress such as a breakup in the relationship. Submission is by its nature a supreme act of vulnerability, both emotional and physical. Be damn sure you are placing your heart and body into the hands of someone who will respect and care for you; even when they may be angry, hurt, or otherwise do not get their way.

What follows is a sad and tragic example of what can happen when consent is withdrawn and that withdrawal is not respected. It could just as easily be a description of the thousands of abuse cases that go unreported daily in plain vanilla relations between boyfriends and girlfriends or husbands and wives seeking to end a relationship. What makes it all the more scary is the added dynamic of Dominance and submission; where there is a known imbalance of power and authority and where the “Dom” fails to turn that imbalance off when appropriate and necessary. Worst of all, because of the added D/s dynamic, the submissive finds herself powerless to fight back both because of the physical imbalance of power but also her innate, almost involuntarily, reflexive tendency to submit or freeze before her “dom” even when consent has been withdrawn (which, by the way is not abnormal).

This is the scary stuff folks and this is what the legitimate D/s community goes to great lengths to avoid and prevent through careful communication between partners, expressed consent, and clear avenues for withdrawal of that consent. The emotional darkness and isolation this woman is feeling brought on by her “dom” when she tried to end the relationship goes far deeper than the physical scrapes and bruises that cover much of her neck and body. I am so very grateful that the situation did not end up worse. It could have been much, much worse. Fortunately, the physical scars will heal in short order, but the loss of trust and feelings of isolation at having been abused by one whom complete trust and submission was given will take far longer and is the true tragedy.

Please read the following and let it guide you in your decision making as you approach your own experiences in the realm of D/s. Above all, please be careful. Be loving. Be respectful. And at all times be consensual. Play hard, but play safe, sane and consensual.

Text © For The Love of a Submissive, 2012

dominantlife

–-

more articles in the Library For Kinksters.

usemythroat

Important information for those who find connection online. It may be long, but remember that submission requires consent, and once it is given, the submissive is extremely vulnerable. Emotional vulnerability may be endlessly attractive to some, and it is very easy to take advantage of. Remember that there is a real person out there in the ether you are affecting. As brutal as you may be in play, be just that kind and loving when the play stops. Otherwise, you’re not playing at all.

Retraumatizing someone can be extremely cruel and unfortunately, once conditioned, a trauma survivor can sink into a very deep well that you will probably not be able to handle, especially as they will most likely run or freeze, neither of which can be easy to address. The last thing I want to engage with is someone who knowingly tries to terrorize me outside of play. It’s hard enough *in* play.

Thank you to the men who respect these boundaries. That is when true connection occurs. You give me faith in a faithless world.

Your First Time. Jimmy Darling x Reader

This one was requested by @stellaholland, thank you so much for the request, I’ve realized all I write is smut so this was right up my alley :-)

Request: Could I request a jimmy x reader imagine where the reader helps/stays at the freak show n feels friend-zoned by Jimmy. She talks to maybe eve or Bette and dot about how she’s still a virgin and wants to b intimate w someone, and they bring up Jimmy n his second job and the reader says she thinks ab it because she likes him but she’s scared he wouldn’t want to do anything with her. AND JIMMY FINDS OJT AND LOTs of SMUTT. Sorry if this is too much or something I never request for these loll

Warnings: this is real graphic lol, losing virginity, dom!jimmy

“I don’t know it’s just so embarrassing.” You sighed, looking down at your hands in your lap. “(Y/N), please don’t worry too much. It’s really not that big of a deal.” You’d wandered onto the Freak Show fairgrounds by accident when your car broke down. You were immediately welcomed into the family though. Not as a performer, but just as a stage hand. You helped set up shows, choreograph routines, things of that nature. You, Bette and Dot were having breakfast underneath a white tent, where you’d confessed to them that you were still a virgin. This is something you’ve been extremely insecure about since you were roughly 16. Now, a few years later the closest you’ve come was a small kiss on the forehead after a bad date. You looked up and saw Bette glancing over at Dot, like she wanted to say something.

“Y'know…(Y/N)…” Bette started, “Bette, no! Not him!” You looked between them quickly, extremely confused. “Jimmy has a second job. He’s a…he’s a sex worker.” Bette said quietly, glancing around to make sure nobody was hearing this conversation. Bette explained Jimmy’s side gig to you, Dot’s face twisted with annoyance. “You don’t want to lose your virginity to him, though.” Dot shot in harshly. “If that’s what he does for a living, it won’t be emotional. Sex isn’t seen as intimacy for sex workers. It’s their job. You should have some kind of emotional investment with whoever you’re losing your virginity to.”

Your heart was racing. You’d been attracted to Jimmy since you stumbled to the grounds. He was tall with beautiful deep brown eyes and broad shoulders. To be honest, you wouldn’t mind him seeing you naked. “I-I don’t know.” you shrugged, trying to not let Dot see your interest in Bette’s suggestion.

“Good morning ladies.” The three of you were greeted by Paul, Jimmy following a few feet back. Your cheeks flushed and you looked up at Paul, unable to look at Jimmy after your conversation previous. “Hi, good morning.” You said quietly, forcing a smile over your lips. “Good mornin’ (Y/N).” Jimmy said, taking a seat on the table top, his hand traveling down to playfully take a piece of bacon off of your plate. You giggled a bit, forcing yourself to look up at Mr. Darling. Your brain was immediately flooded with images of him pressing you against a wall, his lips pressing firm kisses against your neck. “You guys ready for the show tonight?” He smiled at you, the bacon between his smiling teeth. He looked from you to the twins and Paul, relief flooding over your body once his eyes weren’t locked on you.

Everyone conversed about tonight’s show, giving you an outlet to excuse yourself and walk back to your caravan. You closed the door and sighed loudly, feeling as if your whole body was overheating. Not Jimmy. Dot was right. Sex wouldn’t be intimate with Jimmy if he views it as his job. And your first time was supposed to be special, right? But maybe because he’s experienced he knows how to make a woman feel special. And what if he liked you too? Your angel and devil fought for awhile but your thoughts of Jimmy kissing your neck returned. You imagined his hands caressing your hips, his beautiful lips pressing against yours.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on your door. You opened the door to reveal the man of your fantasies.

“Miss Elsa told me it’s time for you to come help everyone get ready for the show.” he had a kind smile on his face, his eyes looking down into yours, You nodded and closed your door, walking side by side with Jimmy to the large red and white striped tent. “I know a secret about you…” Jimmy whispered at you, a cocky smirk stuck to his face, his fingers brushing yours gently before giving you a wink and walking through the flaps of the performance tent.

Keep reading