Custom Ferrari

26 she/they

[orange-catsidy]

happy birthday to the greatest promo in wrestling history

[tearsofrefugees]

Massachusetts governor signs law limiting ICE access to courts, schools, hospitals

Massachusetts Gov. Maura Healey signed the Protect Act into law Wednesday to limit ICE agents' access to schools, hospitals, and courts in t

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[brynnamonroll]

I'm so endeared by the French term for a stray cat being "chat errant." This implies the existence of a stray knight. Or that a chat errant is searching for noble purpose.

[bruntalism]

[bruntalism]

we kill the bat man

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[finndamerons-archive]

castle // halsey

[bugmuscle]

beautiful, sexy, powerful and smart women named SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING are attempting to contact me

[bioniclechicken]

My stupid contribution to Petra Parker

[infectiouspiss]

dj physical therapist wants you to put your hands in the air !!!! now slowly lower them !!!!! now repeat 8-10 times !!!!! stretch those muscles !!!!

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because my parents joked so many times about returning me to the child store I decided to void the warranty.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was my dad complained about women in golf so much I knew it was a sure fire way to make him stop trying to teach me golf.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because I'm really supportive of my wife but I wanted to make shopping for their tampons feel less awkward.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was to prove to a point about the ending of the Scottish play to my 8th grade English teacher.

[cipheramnesia]

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because slutty shorts for men went out of style and I couldn't give them up.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

Have you considered doing standup comedy?

[cipheramnesia]

I prefer to sit.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Well then have you considered sit down comedy?

[cipheramnesia]

For sure, every time I stand up for open mic night, they says to me "sit back down."

[mrsterlingeverything]

Okay

[orcboxer]

[podcastwizard]

every day i walk into work and my manager says “here is the rule you must enforce” and i go “got it bossman” and i spend a couple days enforcing the rule and then my manager comes up to me and says “why are you enforcing the rule? we changed the rule yesterday and didn’t tell you” and i go “ok bossman new rule it is” and then a customer comes in asking to break the new rule and i say “sorry you can’t it’s the rule” and they say “but you don’t understand the rule doesn’t apply to me” and then my manager comes out and says “they’re right the rule doesn’t apply to them” and i ask why and my manager says “it just doesn’t.” and then the next day we get rid of the rule entirely and no one remembered it existed in the first place.

anyway this sounds like a metaphor for neurodivergence or something but it’s not this is just my fucking life

[magicalastronomies]

[glitterdustcyclops]

i do so sincerely love that the second you take an improv comedian and put a giant ridiculous marie antoinette style wig on them they immediately become possessed by the spirit of a deranged 18th century fop without needing to be asked

10/10 no notes

[beemovieerotica]

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

[beemovieerotica]

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

[despazito]

[crazysodomite]