Transgender Q&A

Any and all transgender questions answered here! Keep in mind that I am one guy, and some answers may not be universal for all trans people, and by no means am I trying to represent all trans people. About Me page is available. :) I'm also a roleplayer here on Tumblr, so feel free to ask trans questions as they relate to the rp community.

[transgenderanswers]

Hello world!

Though I am not new to the Tumblr scene, this is a new blog based entirely around questions submitted to this blog, and the person behind the blog (aka me) answering them in the most truthful way I can. Keep in mind I am just one guy, and in no way am I trying to represent the entire transgender community, just trying to spread understanding and education around a thing so many people are trying to learn about. I am also part of the roleplay community here on Tumblr, so feel free to ask transgender questions as they relate to the rp community, too!

Hit up my ask or about me pages and let’s get this blog rolling! Also feel free to reblog to get the word around!

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

I’ve used the men’s bathroom since August of 2013. I started college for the first time that month, and started taking testosterone the month before. It wasn’t uncomfortable as much as it was nerve-wracking at first, just from the fear of someone finding out I wasn’t a biological male, but after a few months I relaxed a little about it. I just go in, do what I need to do, and leave. The same with locker rooms, now that I’ve started going to the gym.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

NSFW descriptions under the cut - nothing too graphic and NO pictures, all medical terminology and no crude words.

Of course I have more hair and it’s thicker now; instead of just between the legs it’s now grown over my butt cheeks and everything in between, and over my breasts, too. The biggest difference is the size of the clitoris; I wouldn’t call it huge, but it’s maybe an inch long now, and thicker. Internally, everything is very tight now, and drier. But that’s about it, honestly.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

Yes!!! I believe the mentorship program that helped me start my transition, The Evolution of Man, is now either down completely, or has moved to another domain that I can’t locate anymore. But!!! Depending on your area, there is probably at least one LGBT support group if not an actual transgender support group. Often, your gender therapist can point you in the right direction of these groups, or even directly to groups that help you obtain binders, wigs, packers, etc. I was lucky enough to afford my own binder (with birthday money, ha), but I know of several binder support programs: - In A Bind offers new or used binders to youth 18 and under living in the US - Big Brother’s Binder Program offers new or used binders to those over the age of 18, for just a small donation of $5. - Replace The Ace offers used binders in order to help reduce the amount of trans individuals using unsafe binding methods (never use ace bandages or duct tape or anything that is not an actual binder!!!). Their site is currently down, but their facebook page is up. Most of these programs have long waiting lists and it could take a few weeks or even months to get a binder from one of these sites, but if you can’t afford one, it’s worth the wait! Again, something more local could help you in this department as well.

The same can be said for wigs, though honestly the cheapest wigs I’ve found were actually on Amazon! Not horrible quality, either, just shop carefully to be sure you’re getting a quality product for the price.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

Oh, man. Such a simple answer, but so complex.

I changed for the sake of my own happiness. Before my transition, I dealt with depression, daily. I often had suicidal thoughts. I hurt myself - so regularly that I’m embarrassed about how often I did it or thought about doing it. I had no self-worth, no confidence in my body or my voice or anything about my physical self. I changed because, even though I knew a lot of people in my life wouldn’t be happy about it, I chose my own happiness and well-being over the happiness of those people. For along time, I felt that I was selfish for making that decision. But eventually I realized that putting my needs over the wants of someone else is not selfishness - it’s caring about yourself.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

The short answer is no, I’m not technically still a girl because I can’t change my DNA.

The long answer is that I haven’t had my chromosomes tested, so I can’t tell you for sure what my chromosomes are, since there are in fact mutations of chromosomes and even disorders where the chromosomes don’t match the appearance of the person. Intersex people? Hermaphrodites? Who knows what their chromosomes are? The simple fact of the matter is you wouldn’t know an intersex person or a hermaphrodite just seeing them walking on the street. You would see whatever gender they were presenting as; ie. a guy or a girl. It’s the same for transgender people; you see what they want you to see, and most of the time you don’t know the difference or what they have in their pants.

Yes, my biological sex is female right now. Yes, for government forms and anything official, I indicate that my sex is female (though I am considering changing that, now that I’ve had my first technical sex reassignment surgery). But even that will change somewhere down the line. And even until that time, the technicalities of what I am and am not do not matter in the grand scheme of who I am and the gender I identify as.

If you found out tomorrow that your chromosomes (your DNA) were the opposite gender of what you thought, would you automatically change your life to match the gender of your DNA, since you would technically be that gender instead? If your answer is ‘no’, then you’ve just answered your own question.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

Personally, I don’t have any interest in wearing any of those. Even pre-T and before knowing I was transgender, I was always more of a tomboy. But aesthetically, I can appreciate how they look on other people, and I don’t have any issues saying ‘that’s a pretty dress/skirt/whatever’.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

How I came out to people/would come out to people varies based on who it is. My close friends, who I knew would be unbothered by it, I came out to very casually and very early in the process. It was important to me to come out to my most likely supporters first, to start building that support group around me so when I came out to someone I knew wouldn’t be happy about it, I had someone to fall back on and help me through that.

As for coming out to those that you know won’t be supportive, or at least suspect that they won’t be entirely happy about it, here’s a few tips: - Try to make a time to talk to them about it when they aren’t busy or distracted. One on one attention is definitely needed here. - Be straightforward and confident (even if you don’t feel it), but try to keep in mind their point of view and that the change will be hard for them, too. - Their reaction may hurt - and that’s okay. Crying or saying this means their child is dead is a common emotional reaction, and it’s easy to let that make you angry or unsympathetic. Try to soothe them, but don’t budge on the fact that you are transgender. - Don’t be hesitant or unsure. Some people will latch onto this hesitance and use it to fuel their denial or their insistence that it’s just a phase. - Be open to questions! Especially for people who don’t know much about it, the more you can help someone understand, the more likely they are to support you! 

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

I wouldn’t say ‘worried’ is the right term to use here. I don’t generally have surgery or doctor anxiety, so I would say I’m eager more than anything else. I had my breasts removed on December 1st, 2016, and was not really afraid going into that (except for actually being in the pre-op room, which I think is normal for any surgery). 

I do have a little trepidation about bottom surgery, just because the technology around it is not fantastic just yet, where my gynecomastia surgery is pretty common now. For now, I’m comfortable enough with my lower parts to wait until the phalloplasty surgery is more advanced before I get it.

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

These two sort of related, so I put them together.

I was 16 when I finally was able to put a word to the feelings that had been slowly building up. For me, there was no single ‘moment’ of not being a girl, or being a boy instead, there were just feelings of unhappiness and inadequacy related to my body. A lot of people summed it up to ‘oh you just wish your breasts were smaller’, or ‘you’re just unhappy you’re a little overweight’, or ‘everyone your age feels that way, you’ll grow out of it’, and while all of those were true, I knew it was something bigger than that, though I didn’t know what.

I don’t remember what I was researching when I came across the term ‘transgender’, but the more I read about it and the more stories I read from people going through the exact feelings and struggles I was, the more I began to count myself as part of this community and started counting the days until I could finally start to transition and put an end to the feelings I was having. Or at least quiet them and make them manageable, anyway. 

[transgenderanswers]

These first few questions were asked to me through an anonymous Google Doc (which you can find here if you wanna), to help get this blog up and running!

I’d have to say the only thing I actually preferred about being a girl was my singing voice, and even my opinion on that has started to change. I used to be the highest singing part in school choir, and while my voice was changing I was really unhappy with my singing voice. Now that it’s completely changed, though, I’m starting to enjoy it more.

Other than that, I think the only other thing I preferred when I was pre-T was society’s acceptance of my height. Being 5′2″ as a female is 100% fine, but most of society looks down on or makes fun of guys my height, so that can be frustrating.

[transgenderanswers]

Hello world!

Though I am not new to the Tumblr scene, this is a new blog based entirely around questions submitted to this blog, and the person behind the blog (aka me) answering them in the most truthful way I can. Keep in mind I am just one guy, and in no way am I trying to represent the entire transgender community, just trying to spread understanding and education around a thing so many people are trying to learn about. I am also part of the roleplay community here on Tumblr, so feel free to ask transgender questions as they relate to the rp community, too!

Hit up my ask or about me pages and let’s get this blog rolling! Also feel free to reblog to get the word around!