transsexual swag

my neighbour who plays the tuba every sunday strikes again :]

wait it's saturday.... well i guess that's okay too. but i expect more tuba tomorrow

#it's very quiet so i don't mind. i quite like it #bants rants

my neighbour who plays the tuba every sunday strikes again :]

this is the summer of constantly getting my kimono stuck in the wheels of my desk chair

every once in a while my body forces me to be grateful for the fact that i don't get my period anymore. but it does so by seemingly randomly giving me pain that feels just like period cramps, for an amount of time (dispersed through a couple of hours usually). which i'm pretty sure isn't normal. but i can't do anything about it right now because of the stupid beef i have with the insurance company over my gynaecology procedures

but i will call the new gynaecology on thursday (they're not available on other days) and see what happens. i guess worst case scenario i'll just have to pay for the ultrasound at least and hope they can cure me

i hate this place (the flat where my mom lives in my hometown. i can't call it home because it's not.) it makes me want to curl into a ball and die. and you're telling me i'm gonna have to spend 20 consecutive days here??

every time i'm forced to spend time here i understand why i was so depressed and suicidal and developed the way i did and i'm amazed at how i made it through

AND THERE WAS MOLD UNDER MY PILLOW FOR MONTHS!!!!! AND I AM STILL PARANOID ABOUT IT BEING THERE!!!!

i hate this place (the flat where my mom lives in my hometown. i can't call it home because it's not.) it makes me want to curl into a ball and die. and you're telling me i'm gonna have to spend 20 consecutive days here??

every time i'm forced to spend time here i understand why i was so depressed and suicidal and developed the way i did and i'm amazed at how i made it through

#bants rants #it's sucking the life out of me and i've only been here like 12 hours #the 20 days in question are from the tenth of august not now thank god. i still have some time to enjoy being alone and in a place i like

i hate this place (the flat where my mom lives in my hometown. i can't call it home because it's not.) it makes me want to curl into a ball and die. and you're telling me i'm gonna have to spend 20 consecutive days here??

i want to jerk off but i just (re)did my nails and if i don't leave them alone for hours i'm sure something will slightly bump the clear nail polish on top and ruin it

#bants rants #can't even shower or go to sleep for that matter. i guess i have no choice but to watch my tv show oh nooo

this french manicure is like my jungkook

i've been dealing with the fucking insurance company for over a month now because they should pay for my gynaecology check but because i legally changed my gender, there have been problems. i would have to pay for an ultrasound and a cervix swab myself, at least that's what my doctor told me, since she's been dealing with the insurance company. but i can't afford that and i Know i have the right to get it covered by insurance but because my gender is male in my documents, it automatically declines the coverage. and it's pissing me off!!!!

but yeah i might have done something stupid because i was fed up and just wrote officially to the insurance company that i have a problem with this. but i also have an appointment on thursday with a different gynaecologist because i wanted to try and ask if they know if it could be covered at their place, since one of my trans friends doesn't have this problem, so some places should do it. but if i switch gynaecologists before i get a response from the company what do i dooo and ough what if i go to the new doctor and they tell me i'm wasting their time and since i'm not yet registered there it's not their business to check that idk idk

like worst case scenario there's a doctor who specializes in treating trans patients but they're pretty far from where i live.

and i need this check, especially the ultrasound, because i have some worries about something that's been happening to me lately

idk pray for me so it works out or something

#bants rants #my diary hashtag my diary

so the insurance company replied. said basically the same stuff, that there's only specific procedures they can pay for. it was also the same guy who talked to my doctor about it.

today i went to the gynaecologist and they did not kill me with hammers. the nurse was super nice and said she would call the insurance company tomorrow and let me know.

i fear it's gonna be the same guy who has been dealing with my shit for weeks now and he's gonna tell her the same.

i also sent an email to a czech trans support group so i'll see how that goes.

people who don't believe in trans ralsei baffle me. why would toby fox change their pronouns at the end of the chapter that's very focused on him holding himself back and not knowing what they want and going through more character development and also gets called princess, wants a pink and blue drink and wears a dress and talks about being a princess. like sorry do you have eyes. even if there won't be a scene where ralsei says "kris susie i am transgender. use she/her pronouns for me now" it's still very deliberate and ofc you could brush off all that other stuff but their pronouns changing. brother.

#bants rants #will be selling one bottle to a transfem aquaintance soon probably. just wanted to share the goss. yes it's the almost threesome one

as much as i love to bitch, i do love our very affordable healthcare. i did have to pay a LOT of money for hrt this year, but since i crossed a certain money threshold, from now on i will not be paying for it for the rest of the year ^_^ at least i think that's how that works. i should ask for one million hrt and give it to my friends as well

i've been dealing with the fucking insurance company for over a month now because they should pay for my gynaecology check but because i legally changed my gender, there have been problems. i would have to pay for an ultrasound and a cervix swab myself, at least that's what my doctor told me, since she's been dealing with the insurance company. but i can't afford that and i Know i have the right to get it covered by insurance but because my gender is male in my documents, it automatically declines the coverage. and it's pissing me off!!!!

but yeah i might have done something stupid because i was fed up and just wrote officially to the insurance company that i have a problem with this. but i also have an appointment on thursday with a different gynaecologist because i wanted to try and ask if they know if it could be covered at their place, since one of my trans friends doesn't have this problem, so some places should do it. but if i switch gynaecologists before i get a response from the company what do i dooo and ough what if i go to the new doctor and they tell me i'm wasting their time and since i'm not yet registered there it's not their business to check that idk idk

like worst case scenario there's a doctor who specializes in treating trans patients but they're pretty far from where i live.

and i need this check, especially the ultrasound, because i have some worries about something that's been happening to me lately

idk pray for me so it works out or something

ok so like i haven't given this much thought (that's why it's going here) but on the debate if kris is in love/fancies/likes susie or noelle more, it kind of reminds me of when i was younger and kind of had feelings for both of my friends. and if they were ever reciprocated, i would have gone with either of them. granted, my relationship with feelings is very alexithymia+aro+poly esque, but i think that's my personal headcanon for now. they just want to be someone's special person, and probably feel left out when susie and noelle are on their date. of course there's the possibility of a polycule but honestly i don't think that's realistic. it would probably be the best result (from what we know so far) but i don't think it will happen.

i would love to spam my entire (main) blog with dexter posts as that seems to be my newest obsession, but sadly most of the posts on tumblr tagged dexter suck ass </3 and i don't have enough tangible thoughts to make my own posts + my friends that haven't seen it all yet follow me and i don't wanna spoil it

just know that i am constantly rotating dexter in my head. he might get replaced by deltarune for a bit but i have a feeling he will come back