Amethyst

Your friendly neighbourhood trash panda🦝 👾28🎮She/they🥳 I do post NSFW content occasionally. Please be 18+ to follow I follow back most of the time PEDOS/TERFS/SWERFS/MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

[trashpandagamer]

I've thought about this for months and I'm finally ready to open up commisions for writing short stories for people. It'll start at $5 for 500 words and go up an additional $1 for every hundred words over that. If you're interested, DM me and we can work something out.

Serious inqueries only. I will write most topics but reserve the right to shut down anyone who makes me uncomfortable or if you're rude.

[voidgremlinrambles]

Add a song for each letter of your username and tag as many people as there are letters

Thanks @many-blogs for tagging me ^w^

V - "Virile" by Suzane O - "Open Arms" by George Rivera-Herrans & Steven Dookie, from Epic the Musical I - "I Lied to you" by Miles Caton, from Sinners (2025) D - "Don't Cry for your Daughters Eve" by Lydia the Bard

G - "Good Boy" by Paris Paloma R - "Resto Basket" by St Graal E - "Eat Your Young" by Hozier M - "Marche ou Rêve" by Suzane L - "Labour - the Cacophony" by Paris Paloma I - "I've No More Fucks To Give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. N - "Never Love An Anchor" by The Crane Wives

R - "Rule #14: Fiddler's Heart" by Fish in a Birdcage A - "A Hole in the Stars" by Maxton Waller M - "Mr & Mrs Human Race" by Seb Lowe B - "Bound by a Dream" by ReapeatTwiceDaily L - "Liberta" by Pep's E - "Enormous Penis" by Da Vinci's Notebook S - "Sleeping in the Kitchen" by Elio Mei & Addison Grace

That's... 18 letters!

@swagoraphobia @vagueshape @xxthornsxandxrosesxx @cherriemeeko @hell2electricboogaloo @momolady @funkily @aetherglade @wrenwrenwretchedwren @divine-knight-hand @the-stray-storyteller @agirlandherquill @lifenconcepts @sittinginstars @feralmelancholia @amalights @heavenflavoredfilth @trashy-kitty

(also no pressure to anyone i've tagged to do this, just do it if you feel like it :3)

[momolady]

Oh this is cute!

M- My Oh My by Aqua

O- Odysseus from Epic the Musical

M- More Than a Woman by the Bee Gees

O- Online by TWRP

L- Love Me Dead by Ludo

A- Assassin by Muse

D- Dare by The Gorillaz

Y- Yasahii Yoake by Yuki Kajiura

@frostsinth @wandering-shepard @smut-goblin @trashpandagamer @monstersandmaw @handy-dandy-monster-candy @rosen-und-mondlicht @willoryn

[trashpandagamer]

Oh, this is cute. I won't tag anyone though, that's a lot of people.

T - Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer

R - Ready for This from season one of Hazbin Hotel

A - Ancient History by Set It Off

S - Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy (feat. Elton John)

H - Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame

P - Pokémon Theme from Pokémon: Indigo League

A - Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer

N - Now or Never from Julie and the Phantoms

D - Danny Don't You Know by Ninja Sex Party

A - All Our Own by Radio Company

G - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

A - Alone Together by Fall Out Boy

M - Meant to Be Yours from Heathers: The Musical

E - Eyes on Me by Radio Company

R - Rocket Man by Elton John

[stubbornness-and-spite]

This user supports AO3

This user is anti-censorship

This user believes in “don’t like, don’t read”

This user believes in “ship and let ship”

This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character

[callmebliss]

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?

[macleod]

I've seen this passed around a few times, and I have one thing to say:

It's online. The book was carefully and wonderfully recreated online by hand. You can find it here. The entire book is this easy.

calculusmadeeasy.org

[callmebliss]

TIL the highest honor is to be consigned to the processing vortex

[mckitterick]

[rip-quizilla]

[what-even-is-thiss]

When I criticize jk Rowling do not assume I always hated Harry Potter. I knitted hogwarts house scarves. I got my first binder to dress as Draco Malfoy for Halloween. I reread the books multiple times. I read probably every pottermore article there was at the time.

I’m not here to validate your smug feelings about not liking a children’s book series 20 years ago. I’m here to discourage others from spending money on it and to give myself and others words and space to work through some feelings. I’m a trans person that made Harry Potter one of my cornerstone interests. One of my favorite things. I’m not some cis person doing cope.

Harry Potter was a big thing. Like. Big in a way that’s difficult to fully understand. It still is. If you were caught up in it during your formative years it’s normal to need to process all of the horrid things now associated with it.

Having to burn down the house you grew up in is going to be hard even if it turns out that the house was always rotten from the inside out. Even if it turns out that the foundation was made of straw. But the destruction and deconstruction must happen if one hopes to move on and move forward. That’s why I talk about it at all.

[sandmandaddy69]

[harzilla]

Reblog to cast healing for your homies.

[rylandsgrace]

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) dir. Henry Selick

[lelif]

on being yourself

@ brainsoupp_ on twitter// @stmichaelthearchangel// @ cybermrcury on twitter// @throughmy-eyez // @ shellerina on twitter// @caesarsaladinn// @ nelsoncj4 on twitter // @ heimberg_a on twitter// make your own kind of music by cass elliot// @ soledadfrancis on twitter// ? // @ sourcenectar on twitter// @superorganism

[flowercrowncrip]

I realised I’m using a new disability aid that some people on here might find helpful! It’s called a sixth digit from ActiveHands

ID 1: a photo of a Sixth Digit - a plastic stylus with a metal end with two loops to go over your fingers. ID 2: the same device worn on a hand with a wrist splint. The short stylus comes out perpendicular to the pinky finger /end IDs

It is like an extra finger to help people with poor hand function type and use touch screens. It slides on like a ring over your last two fingers so there’s no need to be able to grip it at all. They even work with my resting hand splints if anyone uses those.

VD: the sixth digit is used on a tablet to scroll the disability tag on tumblr /end VD

I’m struggling more and more with voice control at the moment because of my speech impairment so I’ve been looking for other ways of accessing technology and this has been huge. The biggest issue for me has been moving my arms accurately and reaching the device I’m using.

As well as touchscreens I’ve also used it for ATMs (I can type my own pin!), and as they come in pairs I’ve been able to use a mechanical typewriter (very slowly, but once I’m set up with pillows supporting my arms it’s weirdly easier for me than typing on an electric keyboard)

Sixth Digit 2 - The Active Hands Company

The sixth digit 2 is a wearable stylus for those with reduced hand function, enabling you to use touch screens and press buttons.

[disabilityaidpositivity]

Disability aid positivity post!

[orteil42]

animation seems hard i deadass can't tell the difference

[orteil42]

you are shitting me

[orteil42]

if i get my hands on the unscrupulous rapscallion responsible for this farce

[cipherexists]

(original if anyone actually wanted to see it)

[wildspringday]

gonna be a hater for a minute, reblog and put in the tags the last movie that you HATED like viscerally hated like 1/2 star on letterboxd HATED

[100493503004422]

I've gone fifteen years on this website without absorbing any information about homestuck and I'm not about to start now

[cacklingskeleton]

Human Husbandry Guide For Vampires

A guide on how to take care of your human friends, lover, and minions for vampires that are out of touch with humanity. (Disclaimer: this is not a hunting guide, this is for humans you intend to keep alive and healthy. See our companion book for hunting humans.)

Humans will not disintegrate in sunlight, and can be used for errands during the daytime. However their skin can still take damage on especially sunny days. Make sure they wear the proper protection cream if needed.

Humans can not be sustained on blood, and have much more varied diets than us. Most can forage for food themselves, but make sure to keep at least a little human food in your lair. (Note: human food can expire, canned foods, dried foods, and honey are recommended for long term storage)

Humans must bathe regularly to keep healthy and clean. Most can handle this themselves if given the proper facilities, but some might need reminders or persuasion if in a poor emotional state. Try to refrain from using hypnosis unless absolutely necessary to keep the humans trust.

Humans are much more delicate than us, and can not reliably survive long falls or extreme force. Refrain from doing anything too dangerous with your humans unless you're a skilled necromancer.

Humans can only lose about 14% of their blood before their health declines. Make sure not to feed on them for too long or else they will require a transfusion. Space out your feedings to every few days and help them recover afterwards. (Note: it is recommended that you either feed on multiple humans or drain one that is not yours between feedings to keep yourself well feed)

Most humans do not react well to death and gore even if they understand the nature of vampires. Make sure to keep your humans out of the room when you drain someone and dispose of the leftovers, unless they have stated they are comfortable with it.

Humans are social creatures that cannot withstand decades of solitude like us. Even the most independent of humans will require a little bit of affirmation. Make sure to regularly converse with your humans and tell them how much you care about them if they seem unhappy. It is also encouraged to keep at least two humans to keep them from getting lonely.

Humans might also require physical affection depending on the nature of your relationship. A human you're romantically involved with will usually respond very positively to cuddling and romantic affection. A human you're friends with might also respond well to physical affection but make sure to learn what they're comfortable with.

Humans can be easily seduced by the allure of vamprism. Ones you have only recently met might already offer themselves as potential blood dolls or fledglings. Make sure to throughly explain the ramifications of these decisions and state your boundaries, in order to prevent future emotional turmoil.

Humans do not have long lifespans, living to around 100 years if not killed. Prepare yourself for the emotional toll of losing a human you're attached to, as not every human will agree to be eventually turned or resurrected as an undead creature. Respect their wishes on this in order to prevent drama or vendettas being formed against you.

Turning a human is a huge commitment you will need to make sure you're prepared for. A fledgling will need a lot of guidance and reassurance once turned, and usually will go through some existential phases. Most won't be ready to be independent until about a decade, but will usually keep in touch if they don't stay with you. (See our Empty Coffin Syndrome book if you struggle with this phase)

Thank you for reading this excerpt, and congratulations on obtaining your human companion. Humans can improve the mental well-being of their vampiric companions and help them with their dark bidding if needed, even against their own kind. Plenty of humans will willingly betray their fellow man in return for vampiric companionship, and possibly make good potential fledglings. Our full book can be found at any cursed bookstore or dark library you can find, or that will find you.

[vampires-official]

official vampire post

[kiseiakhun]

My roommate thought she hated cooking and then she moved in with me and started using knives that were actually sharp and realized cooking is fun. Sometimes I wonder how many other situations are like this. It's not you, or your skills. It's just the lack of correct tools. Everyone knows you need a knife in the kitchen but no one mentions a sharpening stone.

[kiseiakhun]

Also you should probably sharpen your knife.

[kiseiakhun]

Speaking less metaphorically I literally do wonder how many people would realize Cooking Doesn't Suck if only they had sharper knives. Cutting vegetables is not supposed to be a workout. You're not supposed to apply force when you press down. If you have to force the knife down then the knife is dull! This is a fixable problem!

[kitten-kin]

[sarahthecoat]

<3

[juniper-tree]

Is the “fluffy one shot” pig doing whip its with those cans?  Cause that feels accurate.

[kitten-kin]

@skyholdherbalist Yup! XD

[valkyrien]

@frozensnares

Then… where do I go? I’m just at home muttering

into the void of an open word document.

[kitten-kin]

@valkyrien Oh but there’s more to this party than sugar and sweets~ ♥︎

Fluff Fest on RedBubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/kitten-kin/works/36582633

Dark Side on RedBubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/kitten-kin/works/36634358

[atlinmerrick]

THE PIG IS EATING PINE TREES IN THE PINING I CAN NOT DEAL.

[owlinautumn]

IT GOT BETTER

[alltheusernameiwantistaken]

Where’s the lemon buffet

[kitten-kin]

Third Comic, featuring the citrus-themed juice bar~ @alltheusernameiwantistaken

Available on RedBubble at https://www.redbubble.com/people/kitten-kin/works/37192337.

[clarasimone]

This has me in stitches !!!!! LOL ah mon dieu, woo, I needed that :-) Thanks @lodessa

[probablynothumanish-deactivated]

@ashensanity

[izhunny]

Literal FANFIC art. Art of FANFIC. I love this so much!

[izhunny]

This could use another go round.

[anannua]

yeah

[trashpandagamer]

I love this

[trashpandagamer]

It's been nearly three years since I reblogged this originally. It could use another go. I still love it

[kinanabinks]

real people

chapter seventeen

18+

you're popular among horror fans. he's well-respected among film critics. though you work in the same industry, you couldn't be more different - but your managers think a pr romance is just what your careers need.

content warning: actor!bucky x actress!reader, mature themes, fake dating, enemies to lovers, angst, mention of revenge porn.

Series Masterlist

Series Playlist

"I can't even begin to express how angry I am," Pepper says lowly. "Why would you do this to yourself? And before you roll your fucking eyes at me, just take a second to realize what it is you're putting at risk - this isn't just about looking like a homewrecker in the media, this could affect your case and lead to Thor winning. Do you get that?"

You sit and stare out at the water as the waves crash on the beach. Usually, you'd think Pepper was just overreacting and being a control freak, but this is the first time in your career that you know she's right. You thought you could sneak around with Bucky during the point in your career when you're under the most scrutiny and not get caught, and now you see how foolish that was. How foolish you were.

"I don't care what you do once the case is won and once his contract with Natasha is over - but right now, you are on strict lockdown. You will not travel without me knowing, you will not meet anyone without me knowing - you will eat, sleep, and breathe only with my permission," She says firmly, taking you aback. "Yeah. It's written into our contract of employment, actually. I never thought I'd have to exercise it, but you leave me no choice. You're reckless and it could ruin us all, so for the next however many months, you're effectively grounded."

An instinct in you wants you to protest - to scream about how she can't do that to you - but deep down, you know that it's probably best. You have nothing left - no pride, no strength, no ego. Nothing to give you the ammunition to argue with her, so all you can do is obey.

"Can I... can I at least just call him once last time to explain?" You ask her, barely recognizing yourself because of how weak and small you sound. "If I just disappear on him, he'll only try and find me and make it worse."

She sighs and rubs her temples for a few seconds before responding. "Five minutes," She utters with her eyes closed.

You rush out of your seat and out of the beach restaurant, making your way to the shore where you can be sure nobody is around with a hidden camera. After dialling his number, you hold the phone up to your ear, sitting down on the sand. It rings once. Twice. Eight times before the robotic voice comes through telling you to leave your message at the tone.

"Fuck," You whisper just as the tone sounds out. "Uh... shit, I really didn't want this to be a voicemail. Actually, it's probably easier this way. Or maybe that's the coward in me. Hey, Jamie. God, this sucks. I'm so sorry to be leaving you this message but... I don't really have much time. Pepper's putting me on lockdown, meaning I can't do anything at all without her knowing. Which means, uh, I can't see you. For like, a few months. During the trial and I guess until you and Natasha break up. I won't even be able to call or text you, let alone see you. So I guess... this is me saying goodbye? Not forever, but... for a while. And I don't just want you to sit around and wait for me, so... I think it has to be over between us." You wince at your own words, trying to keep calm and not cry while you're still on the phone. "I'm sorry it has to be like this. I have to go now. I love you. I hope you'll still... I'll see you later."

With that, you hang up, immediately regretting everything you said and all the things you didn't say.

"I've upset you, haven't I?" Gwen reads off the script from behind the camera. "Talk to me. You know you can trust me."

"Last Tuesday, when you were high out of your mind, you said something," You say. "It seemed like you were... asking for more than just friendship from me. As if you... might even..." You trail off, unable to get Bucky out of your head for even a single minute. The script hits too close to home, and before you know it, you're crying for the eighth time today.

Gwen turns the camera off and comes around to hug you, letting out a sigh. "It's alright, honey, we can leave it for today," She says, stroking your hair. "You've got until the end of the week to send your audition tape in, right?"

"End of the month," You correct her between sobs.

"Right, so let's just take it easy today," She says.

"I just hate how I left it," You cry. "Hate that it was a voicemail. I can just... see him listening to it."

"And you can't at least text him?" Gwen asks.

"Pepper took all my phones," You tell her, wiping your face.

"I can't believe she can do that," She says with a huff. "You're basically under house arrest, but stricter."

"She wouldn't if it wasn't in my best interest," You say as you walk over to the couch. "As much as it sucks, it's what I need. I don't trust myself not to contact him, or do something else to fuck up the case."

"I could never be a celebrity," She mutters as she sits next to you on the couch and rests her head on your shoulder. "Remember when I tried to be an influencer for, like, a month? One mean comment and I took down my account."

You snort. "It was barely even a mean comment. Someone just asked why you were eating fro-yo for breakfast," You point out.

"I could sense the judgement!" She claims, before humming. "Maybe I shouldn't go on that date with Peter, after all."

"What? But you've been crushing on him for, like, ever," You say. "He's a pretty private guy, anyway. You could probably date him for a good few months before anyone found out. Then just break up with him over fucking voicemail and everything will go back to normal."

With a wince, she wraps her arms around you, hugging you tight. "It'll be over soon. Once Thor's behind bars, you're free to do what you want," She says calmly.

"What if Bucky catches feelings for Natasha? If I'm out of sight, out of mind, and he forgets how he feels about me?" You wonder as your thoughts spiral. "He's been friends with her for years. They probably have chemistry - more than I had with him at the start. Oh, God."

"Y/N," Gwen says firmly, grabbing your face and forcing you to make eye contact with her. "D'you think you'd ever forget how you feel about him?"

"Never," You answer instantly.

"So, how could he forget about you when he feels the same?" She asks you pointedly. "If anything was gonna happen between him and Natasha, it would've happened by now."

You let out a long sigh, knowing she's right but still refusing to let go of your frustration. Resting on her arm, you mumble, "Got court tomorrow. Can you come with?"

"Of course," She replies, holding you tight. "Love you."

"Thanks," You utter. "Love you, too."

The sight of Thor sitting smugly in his tight suit is one the worst parts of being in court. Every time he walks in, he can't help but look directly at you, silently telling you that he can't wait to win and he has no doubt that he will. You sit next to Andy, your lawyer, with Pepper and Gwen behind you in the stands. There are some journalists but no cameras, just the court artist in the corner sketching away.

It's been fifteen minutes and you're ready to go home. The past few sessions have started to feel like the same points are being made over and over again, and you're bored of Thor's lawyer, Gregory Hyde, trying to make you out as a liar.

"I'd like to call a new witness to the stand, Your Honor," Gregory announces, catching your attention.

The judge permits it and Gregory gives the officers at the doors a nod. You hear the heavy doors open as you continue facing forward, wondering which PA or extra they've managed to pay off to speak out against you this time.

"Your Honour, and the Jury, I present James Barnes," Gregory says, and you feel like your heart has stopped beating.

Sitting up, you turn your head to see Bucky walking down the aisle, a look of shame and discomfort on his face. Gwen gasps behind you.

"What the fuck?" You hiss to Andy, who just shakes his head.

You know just by looking at Bucky that he doesn't want to be here - he must not have been given a choice. He spares you a glance as he walks past you, led by an officer onto the witness stand. Taking in deep breaths, you do your best to remain calm, refusing to give Thor and his lawyers the reaction they want.

A court official stands in front of Bucky and asks him, "Do you swear that any answers you give today are the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Bucky swallows. "Yes," He replies.

You feel sick to your stomach.

Gregory makes his way up to the front of the court, hands in his pockets and a look on his face even more smug than Thor's. "Good afternoon, Mr. Barnes. Could you tell me the name of that woman sitting over there?" He asks, pointing at you.

You meet Bucky's eyes and immediately regret it, quickly looking down at your lap instead.

Bucky answers, giving him your full name.

"And could you please tell the jury what your relationship to Y/N is?" Gregory questions.

"We used to date," Bucky answers flatly.

"Right. And was this before or after she was with Mr. Odinson, do you know?" Gregory further presses.

Bucky takes a second to reply. "After," He says.

"Did she cheat on you with Thor?" Gregory throws at him. "I'm just trying to get the timeline right here."

"She did not cheat on me, ever. Not once we entered an exclusive relationship together," He answers firmly.

"Would you say you and Y/N were close, Mr. Barnes?" Gregory asks.

"Yes," Bucky replies stiffly.

"And did she ever express discomfort with being filmed or photographed by yourself?" Gregory throws at him.

Bucky's jaw clenches. "She told me that what Thor did was a complete violation of her trust," He says firmly. "She didn't give him consent to film her."

Gregory simply nods. "I'm referring to your relationship with her, Mr. Barnes," He explains. "Did Y/N ever allow you to take photos or videos of her during intimate moments?"

Taking in a deep breath, Bucky sighs. "She may have, on some occasions," He answers vaguely.

Gregory takes a step back and picks up the small remote control for the television to the left of the judge. "Why don't we all take a look at this?" He calls out, before flicking to the next picture - and it makes your stomach twist.

It's from Ljubljana- someone took a photo of the two of you in the wildflower meadow post-sex, when Bucky was taking pictures of you. Whispers emerge across the courtroom and some members of the jury make some notes. You could scream.

"Order!" The judge demands, banging his gavel before giving Gregory nod. "Proceed with the questioning, Mr. Hyde."

"Mr. Barnes, can you confirm whether that is yourself and Y/N in that picture?" Gregory asks him, failing to hide the smirk from his face.

Bucky looks just as taken aback by you as he stares at the photo. "Uh, yeah. That's us," He replies.

"As you can tell by both your states of undress, it seems like you're taking pictures of Y/N post-coitus - is that right?" Gregory asks.

"Objection, Your Honor," Andy finally intervenes, standing up. "Relevance?"

The judge holds his hand up and says, "Overruled. Continue, Mr. Hyde."

You want nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow you whole as you shrink into yourself. This is worse than you thought - lower than you thought Thor's team would go.

"So, Mr. Barnes, please answer the question: is this a photo of you taking a picture on your phone of Y/N post-coitus? During what seems to be an intimate moment?"

"She knew I was taking the picture-"

"It's a simple yes or no, Mr. Barnes," Gregory cuts him off.

Bucky looks like he wants to kill him. "Yes," He utters.

"Right. So, we can all agree that Y/N is known to partake in creating evidence of her sexual activity," Gregory says, facing the jury.

"That moment between us has nothing to do with what Thor did without Y/N's consent," Bucky spits.

"I'm not suggesting it does," Gregory replies simply. "I'm just establishing the fact that Y/N has previously allowed - even encouraged - intimate images to be taken of her. This is a pattern of behaviour."

It looks like Bucky is struggling to put his words together, which is painful to see. "She trusted me. She consented to the photos being taken. She knew that I wouldn't leak them. Thor filmed her without her knowledge-"

"That's all for now, Mr. Barnes," Gregory interrupts him, looking awfully proud of himself as he turns to the judge. "That'll be all for this witness, Your Honor."

"Mr. Barber, will you be cross-examining the witness?" The Judge asks Andy, who nods and stands.

That feeling of nausea still sits in your stomach. You can't bring yourself to look at Bucky. Andy walks out to the front, calm, cool, and collected. Having not prepared for this situation with him, you have no idea how he's going to handle this and whether questioning Bucky will even do any good for you.

"Mr. Barnes, we know you took this photo of Y/N," Andy says, gesturing to the screen. "You said earlier that she trusted you."

Though he knows he can trust your lawyer, Bucky is still on edge. "Yes," He replies lowly.

"Did you ever share that picture with anyone else?" Andy asks him.

"No," Bucky answers without hesitation.

"Did she give you her permission to post or share it publicly?" Andy continues.

"No," Bucky answers.

"Did you ever record Y/N during sex or intimacy without her knowledge?"

"Never."

"And if, let's say, a former lover of hers had done so, and then shared that recording against her will, would you consider that a violation of her trust?" Andy questions him, walking closer to the witness stand.

"I would consider it a disgusting betrayal," Bucky tells him bluntly.

Andy doesn't say anything for a few moments, letting Bucky's words hang in the air for a while. Some members of the jury make notes. You turn back to look at Pepper, who gives you a reassuring nod, though the concern in her eyes is unmissable.

"Mr. Barnes, as a public figure, you must know what it's like to be followed, harassed, and have your words and actions manipulated by the media," Andy begins again.

"All too well," Bucky replies with a nod.

"And so, in your relationship with Y/N,  did you have boundaries? Did she make it known when something crossed the line?" Andy asks him.

"She was always honest with me about what she needed and wanted," Bucky says.

"Would you say she's a person that values privacy?" Andy wonders.

"Absolutely," Bucky answers quickly. "Like most people in her line of work. Privacy is important to her and so is being able to own the way she's portrayed by the media."

"And so, if she was to allow for an intimate moment to be captured by a lover, would you say that's her being careless? Or is it more a sign of comfort with that person?" Andy says, in an attempt to make the difference between Bucky and Thor astronomically clear.

For the first time, Bucky meets your eyes, and it's like time stops for a second. He keeps his eyes on you as he says, "It meant she trusted me. That she knew I'd never do anything to hurt her."

"Right," Andy mumbles, taking a few steps back towards the jury. "Mr. Barnes, when was the last time you saw Y/N before the tape was leaked?"

"We were broken up, but I saw her at a party," Bucky says. "She was actually speaking to Thor and from the looks of it, rejecting his advances."

"Objection!" Gregory yells out. "Speculation, Your Honor."

The Judge nods, holding his palm up. "Objection sustained. Mr. Barnes, please refrain from making assumptive comments. Continue."

Eager to move on, Andy nods. "When Y/N found out about the leaked tape, did she speak with you about it? If so, how did she react?"

"Well, like I said, we uh, we had broken up when it happened, so she didn't call me until a few days later. I'd never heard her sound so panicked," Bucky recalls, a look of pain on his face as he thinks back to that day. "She sounded broken, and exhausted."

"Did she seem proud of what happened? Happy at the publicity it gave her?" Andy asked, echoing the points that Thor's team have been making since the start of the case.

"She was humiliated," Bucky corrects him. "Ashamed. Even though she had nothing to be ashamed of."

"Do you know of her profiting from the leak in any way?" Andy presses.

"The opposite. She lost work because of it," Bucky tells him. "And she told me she was afraid she wouldn't be taken seriously in the industry."

"And did she ever tell you that she knew she was being filmed?" Andy asks him.

"No. She was completely blindsided," Bucky answers flatly.

"So if Mr. Odinson is claiming that Y/N knew she was being filmed, do you agree with that?"

"No," Bucky says curtly.

"And did Y/N ever give you a reason to doubt her honesty?" Andy questions.

Bucky remains firm. "Never."

"So, just to be clear," Andy says, facing the jury. "Mr. Barnes, a man who loved and trusted Y/N, asked for her permission for any intimate photos he might have taken of her. And he kept his word by keeping those photos private. Yet Mr. Odinson, who filmed her without her knowledge or consent, and then leaked that footage in a textbook act of revenge porn fuelled by his anger of her rejection, wants you to believe that he acted with consent and approval. The truth is plain and simple, ladies and gentlemen of the Jury." With that, he walks back towards you. "That'll be all, Your Honor," He calls out before lowering his mouth down to your ear. "We've got this fucker."

You're sitting on the roof of Pepper's house, smoking a cigarette by yourself. The almost black sky is lit up by stars, and a cool breeze strokes your skin. After the day you've had in court, Pepper didn't want you at home by yourself, so she brought you to her place to stay a few nights while you're still on lockdown.

You hear the stairs creaking before the hatch up to the roof opens, and expecting Pepper or one of her PAs, you remain still, staring up at the sky. It isn't until they sit next to you and the smell of his aftershave hits you that you realize it's him.

"Jamie, what the fuck are you doing here?" You ask as you turn to him. "If Pepper finds out-"

"Pepper invited me," He cuts you off, allowing you to relax a little before he frowns. "Since fucking when do you smoke?"

You snort, glancing down at the cigarette. "I quit a while ago, but desperate times," You utter before taking another drag.

"Here," He says, holding out his hand. When you give it to him, you half-expect him to toss it off the roof, but he surprises you and takes a drag.

"Since when do you smoke?" You throw back at him, used to him treating his body like a temple.

"Desperate times," Bucky echoes, smoke leaving his mouth with the words as he hands the cigarette back to you. You continue sharing it, handing it back and forth in a peaceful silence before you throw the butt away.

"How have you been?" You ask him carefully, once the silence stops being peaceful and begins dangerously venturing into awkward territory. It's been a week since you left him that voicemail, and it's all you can think about.

"Awful," Bucky answers truthfully. "Not as bad as you, of course, but... fuck, I miss you."

You bite your lip and nod. "I'm sorry about today. I had no idea they'd bring you in," You say.

"It's not your fault, baby," He mumbles, rubbing your back. "I just hope I didn't say anything that fucked it up for you."

"You were perfect," You tell him. "Andy was actually really glad they brought you in. He says it gave him an opportunity to show the jury just how bad what Thor did was."

"Oh, by comparing it to our perfect relationship?" He asks teasingly.

"You were perfect," You repeat with a whisper, resting your head on his shoulder. "Thank you. I... it was rough seeing you up there getting questioned by Hyde, but it... I always feel better when you're in the room. Makes me feel like everything will be okay."

"Because it will be," He promises, wrapping his arm around you. "I'll make sure of it."

"How are things with... Natasha?" You ask, almost nervous to say her name out loud as if it will unleash his feelings for her and make him realize he wants her more than you.

"Fine," He replies, his tone a little curt. "Just a few months left."

"Months are so long," You mumble. "Do you... have fun with her?"

He doesn't reply instantly, which makes you want to die. You lift your head up so you can see the look on his face. It's blank.

"Do you think you could catch feelings for her?" You ask him plainly.

His face drops as he meets your eyes. "Y/N," He utters lowly. "I am in love with you."

"But... you're friends with her. She's beautiful and talented," You list off.

"Like all the other women I work with," Bucky says. "Am I gonna go fall in love with all of them, too?"

You shrug. "Maybe."

He snorts, shaking his head. "I wish you could see into my mind," He mumbles.

"So, describe it to me," You request. "Your mind."

"There's a huge shrine in there, dedicated to you," He tells you, pulling you onto his lap with your legs on either side of his. "And the sound of your name bouncing around. Every minute. Just you. Like some old TV channel that only plays reruns of the same show, except every episode you watch, no matter how many times you've seen it, you spot something new. I am in love with you, and that isn't a feeling that ever dulls or that I could ever be distracted from."

You smile down at him with your hands on his shoulders. "Yeah, same," You utter.

"That's all I get?" He wonders with a raised brow.

"I love you," You whisper, giving him a soft kiss before pulling back with a frown. "Pepper only let you come over because she knows I needed it. Once you leave, this is like... goodbye. I'm so sorry about the voicemail. It was terrible."

"It's my fault for not picking up. I was filming," He tells you. "I... listened to it over and over, all week, just to hear your voice. Even though it killed me to hear you so hurt."

"I don't want you to go," You say, clinging onto him. "I just want to be yours. I don't wanna wait."

"I know, baby," Bucky says against your lips. "I tried to get out of it, but-"

"It's not your fault," You tell him, before frowning. "Actually, it is. If you weren't so stubborn about not being in a relationship, we wouldn't be in this mess. So fuck you, Barnes."

"I'm sorry," He says with a wince. "I should've known better. Should've known from the moment I met you that you'd sink your claws into me."

"I just hate it when you kiss her," You admit with a whisper, looking down. "It... feels horrible. I know it's not real, but you're both really good actors, so it looks fucking real."

Bucky cups your face in his hands and kisses you deeply. He's hoping the words he doesn't have the strength to say reach you with his kiss. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I love you.

A sudden rapping on the hatch makes you jump away from his lips.

"Time to go, Barnes!" Pepper's muffled voice comes from within.

"Shit," You whisper, getting off his lap and standing up.

"Aw, fuck," Bucky mumbles, standing up too.

"I did mean what I said in the voicemail," You say, unable to look him in the eyes. "I think we should... have a clean break. No waiting around or strings attached. Definitely no sex. Just... wait it out. Until your contract's over. I don't want to give the media any more ammunition."

He nods, knowing you're right. "I think that's what best," He says, even though it kills him to say it.

"That means no contact," You clarify, looking up at him. "Not until the dust from everything has settled and we can be together freely."

"Yeah," He whispers with a nod.

"I... I'm gonna miss you," You say as your eyes well up. "A lot."

"I'm gonna miss you, too," He responds, taking a step towards you and taking your hand. "Just know that whenever you think of me, I'll be thinking of you, too. Got the shrine up here, remember?"

"I love you, Jamie," You tell him. "I always will, no matter what."

"I love you, my gorgeous girl," He replies, stroking your cheek. "Always."

"I... I guess I'll see you later?" You wonder, your heart thudding.

He rushes forward and gives you a kiss. It feels final. When he pulls back, he looks wrecked, still holding your hand when he says, "I'll see you later."

damn </3

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[trashpandagamer]

Oh oh. The angst. Ouchie. B U T look at Bucky standing up for reader in court. Love him. Get fucked by a chainsaw, Thor.