triggur warning

my name's maggie and i'm 17. i really dont promote any of this stuff. . i just dont want to be the fat friend anymore.

[trigguring]

its been almost a year since i've used this blog 

im in college now and I'm doing well

I've gained 25 lbs and i still hate myself 

oops

[my-teen-quote]

[flora-face]

[imacuntasaurous-deactivated2017]

sad blog ☹

[relateforteens]

[trigguring]

4/2/14

yesterday was really bad for me. it upset me to know you didn't answer. I needed you. it just really hurt. Not that you didn't answer last night, but that you chose to ignore it.

[xshady4life-deactivated20210626]

As we pulled off to go our separate paths

[the-heroine-dies-at-the-end-dea]

[trigguring]

3/29/14

I haven't used this blog in a long time because I haven't felt the need to. And now I'm freaking out. I'm so ready to leave but I'm absolutely terrified. I keep picturing my last day at work, at school, at home, and my last day seeing my two best friends. I'm not going to be able to do it. I can't. I've cried thinking about it. . I notice those little things. It's not your fault and you don't do it on purpose, but I can tell. I feel like a child saying that you like her more. I feel stupid for being so jealous because I know (at least I force myself to think) that it's all the same and we're just different people and I have nothing to worry about but I do worry. I worry you won't miss me, just her. But it's a silly thing to say and I know how silly it is. . I haven't had a sad night in a long time but I am. I'm sad and scared and upset and not myself tonight. I want to be with someone right now. i feel like I did last year. I can't believe it's been over a year. It's gotten better but so much worse at the same time. So much better whole getting worse.

[trigguring]

It's not that I don't miss our friendship, it's that I don't want it in my life anymore. it was done. It's over.

[trigguring]

I don't like the fact I rely on other people to be happy.

[muxer-rebelde-deactivated201310]

emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.

[memoriesrecollected]

[trigguring]

I don't think it's the number necessarily. It's the way that number is drawn out on my body. The way it's proportioned. It's weird. That's what I don't like.

[trigguring]

My weight is the only thing I'm uncomfortable with. But what else is new.

[trigguring]

I haven't used this blog in a week and I think it's because it's getting better.

[trigguring]

2-19-14

I took a trip with my sister and it was such a nice break for me. Everything was absolutely fantastic. I missed two days of school but there's really not much for me to catch up on besides math, but I think that's good. It will force me to review more and eventually get a better grade on the test. There are some people I know that I can't begin to tell how much I care about them. Every time they get uncomfortable in the slightest or a little bit sad I want to hug and kiss them and make them all better because the amount of love I have for them is so immense and seeing them so hurt and torn it makes me hurt ten times more and I want to cry thinking about this pain they have and I can't bare it. I just can't.

[trigguring]

No one knows how fucked up I am