A few nights ago, I and my girls talked about our relationship shenanigans. Some shared about their compromise, their toxic egos, while some, their thoughtless decisions. Don’t get these first sentences wrong, I absolutely love these homies, and I will always love how our dynamic personalities complement each other. My point is, I am floored just how our romantic relationships have shaped us to be the women that we are today. We did things we used to promise we wouldn’t, and we loved people we never thought we would. We compromised to avoid petty fights, we stayed quiet when attention is not served, and we loved even when we can’t find valid reasons anymore. Being in a relationship today isn’t as fun as it used to be in high school, and I am pretty sure it’s only downhill from here. It’s not just about two people in love anymore, it is also about the careers we take, how we value our faith, how we face disagreements, and plans for the future that we desire to create. My only hope for my best friends is that you remain strong despite the uncertainties and that you become independent women not for anybody but for yourselves. May you always choose what gives you peace and allow yourselves enough space and time to grow, learn, and ponder what you truly, genuinely deserve.
I had a chitchat with my now resigned officemate. Shared a couple of updates about my life, specifically how my mom cries over the thought of me settling down soon and how I am afraid of board exam postponements. He replied - “Those are good problems, right?” and in silence, I immediately agreed. After that, I was reminded that I am indeed one heck of an undeserving blessed person. Nothing in my life is perfect, and I rarely get what I want but, that is the exact reason why I am blessed. God removes the unnecessary people or things in my life and replaces them with what He knows I need the most. Months ago, I wrote about how I felt over a painful situation. Now, I am not even sure if I can translate in words the overflowing gratefulness I am feeling inside. Undoubtedly, God’s works and plans will always turn out to be for our best. We just got to bravely hold on and have faith in his timing.
A man who sees my worth, who respects my parents, who prioritizes my happiness, and who loves me proudly. A man who makes time, who still calls me pretty despite my many flaws, and who reminds me to be a good daughter. A man that is selfless, caring, mature, forward-thinking, faithful, and family-oriented. Dating boys, I have accepted that this type of man does not exist in our generation anymore, but Pao proved otherwise. He reminded me of what I have always been deserving of and showed through actions how sincere he is with his feelings. I pray that I become worthy of this type of love and become the woman who shows Pao how deserving he is of the same pure love.
