We had a very hot summer in Portland, and also were homebound waiting to go into labor, so we went frequently to the dog park to swim in the river. Not as gross as that may sound but not that nice, either. On a July Friday we went out to the dog park river to go swimming and I felt sure for the first time that what I was feeling were contractions. It was such a good night to go into labor. We decided to go out to dinner at this Italian restaurant we wouldnāt normally go to, but it seemed like a thing to do. (Carbs?) On the walk home, I felt so special.Ā
We did a flurry of nesting chores Friday night. Full clean, bedding refresh, I think I wiped down the surfaces of our bookshelf? Deep, deep chores. I slept in spurts. I wanted it to intensify but it didnāt. Saturday we just sat around waiting for me to Go Into Labor. It was maddening. I texted people a lot. We went to a different dog park and I walked the hills there and did squats but the contractions had stopped. I cried about it.Ā
By Sunday we accepted that it was nothing and moved on with our lives. We went swimming at the dog park. (Ha!) Once again, the dog park gave me labor pains. They were more intense this time. There was a pattern. We started timing them. We went for a walk and I had to stop every few minutes to sink into the pain. We had our bags ready to go. We texted our dog sitter to warn her. I had wanted toĀ ālabor at home for as long as possibleā until I was actually in labor and then I wanted to GO GO GO. So we went.Ā
On the drive over the river I looked at the crescent moon in the darkening sky and thought, baby boy, this is the way the moon looked the night you were born.Ā
The nurse who greeted us at the hospital was way too calm. She sloooooowly set up the fetal monitor and the contraction monitor and checked my cervix. Only 1cm dilated so she unhooked me and told me to walk around for an hour. We walked laps around the maternity ward and I wished I were in more pain. When I lay back on the table my contractions had slowed down until like 15 minutes apart. So they released us. Krystal, our friend/dog sitter was already asleep at our house. It was midnight-ish. She had locked the handle of our front door to which we have no key, and she had locked our back gate. I took a pill they gave me and it made the pain recede so I could sleep. In the morning Pete asked her to leave. Lesson learned! Donāt text your dog sitter until youāre ADMITTED to the hospital.Ā Ā
I slept through the night and a lot of Monday. (That was the last time I really slept!) Monday evening the contractions came back. I was up all night with them. I let Pete sleep until 4 am when I woke him to press on my back. I am not going to try to explain the pain because explaining pain is futile but it was painful. Supposedly you have a break between contractions where you shouldnāt feel pain. Some people are able to actually sleep in the few minutes between, but for me I was in different pain between contractions, more like joint or muscle pain. I felt no relief. I lay writhing and moaning in our guest bed dreaming about the epidural I was suddenly certain about getting. Also feeling so daunted about how far away that probably was.Ā
Around 9 or 10am the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. I was scared to get discharged from the hospital again so I was hesitant to believe it was real. That first nurse had said not to come in until the contractions were identical to one another, which these were not. We were supposed to see my OB at 1:45 to talk about a potential induction, so Pete called the office to ask whether we should still come to the appointment. When he called the nurse who answered asked if it was me in the background screaming. She was like,Ā āUm your wife is in labor. Go to the hospital.ā I WAS SO HAPPY.Ā
Pete gathered all of our stuff and made a sandwich which he took the time to TOAST. I still canāt believe that. I was really loud at the hospital. The man who wheeled me up from the ER was trying to make small talk and I couldnāt believe him. He probably toasts his sandwiches, too. This time several nurses met us at Labor and Delivery. The first one who saw me said Oh yeah. This is real.Ā I cried buckets about that. I realized, Iām meeting my baby today!
We got whisked into a room and transferred to a bed. Cord and arms everywhere strapping things to places. My only job for the last week had been to keep myself ready to deliver a baby, aka rested and fed and hydrated, but it was so hot and I had been up for so long that I was dehydrated and exhausted and hungry. I was 5cm dilated and I cried from joy again.Ā
They asked about pain management and I was like, epidural, please! My assigned nurse (Shawna) asked if I wanted fentynyl to ease the pain until the epidural. She said, Itāll feel like youāve had 2 glasses of wine and youāll feel it immediately. Yes, please!Ā
The ENTIRE energy of the labor changed at that point. The fentynyl hit me and I blissed out. Probably one of the highest points of my life. I was comfortable, I was in bed, I was going to meet my baby, all I had to do was wait for him. Once my epidural was in they advised me to nap but I was so excited it was difficult to fall asleep. Pete ran across the street to get Khao Soi. He snuck me some odwalla drinks and a bar, since I hadnāt eaten.Ā
Shawna pulled up a chair and the three of us HUNG OUT. She was very cool. Our room was peaceful with a view of Forest Park.Ā hey checked my cervix every couple of hours, and I just felt complete peace about that. At the first check (post epidural) it hadn't really dilated, so they were like, lets open your hips. And I knew it would work. I felt him move deeper in my pelvis. Then I was at 7cm, but the baby was twisted a bit, and they were like, let's lay you on your belly with your leg on a peanut ball. The nurse and Pete moved me, because of the epidural and my mostly useless legs. I felt SO CARED FOR. I had absolutely no issues with being splayed out, helpless, in a crazy new situation. So they set me up with the peanut ball and told me to sleep, and I dozed off and felt the pressure, which had been pointing slightly off center, move into dead center. I knew he had shifted his head and was ready to be born. When the doctor came in to check me, I knew before she said it. "You're complete!" So then they were like, okay, it's on! They started getting everything set up for the baby.
My doctor had passed me off to another doctor from her practice. She estimated I would give birth in the middle of the night and she had a big patient day the next day. I have no hard feelings, but I was a bit nervous to meet the new doctor, especially when I was told her name is Dr. Doom. When she came in to meet me, I was like, OOOOH. I LOVED her. It felt like an upgrade. She had a cool, athletic vibe. Young, cool glasses. So chatty. We had a good time!Ā
So now they're ready for me to push and I just started shaking uncontrollably. I felt really guilty about it. I kept trying to hide it from the nurses, and asked Pete to help me do deep breaths to calm down. My main nurses had switched at this point, and my new nurse, Carleen, I LOVED. God, I am so attached to these people. She said shaking was totally normal at this stage, and it didn't mean I was too weak to push (my fear) or that anything was wrong. We took off my hospital gown, they dropped the end of the bed, put in the stirrups, etc. I felt unbelievable excitement. The doctor and peripheral nurses left the room, and it was just me, Pete, and Carleen. Carleen said we were going to do some practice pushes, and she explained how to wait for the beginning of the contraction and then curl my head up my chest, but keep it loose, keep my face loose, grip my legs, pull up, but try to keep everything loose except push like I am pooping my brains out. I pushed one or two times and she said that I was a really good pusher and she pressed the intercom button and had the doctor and nurses come back in. She said pushing usually takes a long time so the doctor hangs out outside the room until it's closer to real, but they were all like, you're going to push this kid out immediately.Ā
I didn't. Ha. He has a huge head! It took an hour and a half, and they were like oh, nevermind, he has a huge head. We worked it out slowly. Carleen drizzled mineral oil on his head, once it started coming out. It was incredible. They brought the mirror out for me to be able to watch, and I loved watching, but I had them take it away because I felt like I was too caught up in watching his head that it was making me a worse pusher. I always sort of thought you pushed the baby out, and the doctor caught him, but it was more like she wrenched him out of me. She was actively opening my vagina, and really pushing into it. The most I felt it was the ring of fire. Every single push I pushed as hard as I possibly could. The motivation was so real. Maybe this is the push where I'll see him. Maybe this is the push. Pete was STOKED. He was so into it. He kept telling me, you are incredible at this. All of them were so encouraging. It was exactly the enthusiastic, sporty birth experience I wanted. I felt so supported. I even dislocated my shoulder at one point and popped it back in. Classic Britt!
Eventually there was a series of pushes that seemed to move him mostly out and they kept shouting and even though I was out of air and exhausted I just kept pushing and then I saw him. He was glowing. He was so beautiful and perfect. Pete remembers it totally differently, that he was purple, and slimy, and scrunched, but I saw him as this glowing golden boy held up above me. The doctor said, here, take him, and I felt almost shy. Like, really? I get to have him? I can't describe. So soft. So sweet. I took him on my chest and he was squirming and wrinkled and tiny and so beautiful. So so beautiful. I had been so worried my whole pregnancy about his health but when I saw him I knew he was perfect.Ā
People were in go mode. Everyone had their tasks, and I just lay there in the center of it, holding my boy. The doctor was puttering in my vagina, examining it all. They thought I was going to tear like crazy bc of his big head, but I hadn't at all. She described it like a skinned knee, but my vagina. Pete was right with me. We just couldn't believe him. Pete kept saying, my god, he's just so cute. He had been texting our families throughout, and he texted them a picture and said "wowowo" and he got the nice camera and took some pictures. I couldn't think about anything, I just looked at him. I didn't cry at all, which I thought I would. I felt so happy.Ā
For a long time after his birth I felt wistful about, conscious that every day was moving me away from the day he was born. It was the most special day of my life.Ā
After being released due to false labor:
